-Todorokis POV-

My father walks in to my room "Son pack your things, you will go to the hospital tomorrow morning" he stands still in the middle of my room, probably expecting an answer.

I look down at my phone again and answer quietly, but still not loud enough so he can hear "Yeah whatever"

He walks out and slams the door shut. Asshole.

I've been struggling with depression since, I don't even know, since forever? But I started to self harming when I was twelve.

Those where really hard times, you could even say fucked up. Nothing felt right anymore, and life just lost it's meaning.

I guess I'll go in the hospital so they will have control over me, or just because my 'father' doesn't want the reputation of our family to go down. He is like that.

"Enji Todoroki's son in therapy, what a shame for the family" He doesn't wants rumors like that. I think he expects something like "Enji Todoroki's son spotted in the hospital. An accident?" The man is just out of his mind.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. In this family it's different, apparently. Reputation over health, this is what matters here.

I put my phone down and stand up. I grab a bag and start to pack my things.

They'll probably look for things I can hurt myself with. I just put something sharp -razor blade?- in my phone case, my phone case is black so they won't see anything, and also won't suspect anything. I put a couple of razor blades in the side pocket of my bag.

Once finished packing my things, I lock the door and go in to my bathroom and lock the door there too. I take out a blade from it's hiding spot and sit down on the floor.

I pull up my sleeve and remove old bandages. My arm is full of scars, new and old cuts and burns.

It hurts, sure. But you get used to it, sadly.

It's easy for people to say to just stop doing it. It's hard. Once you think you're getting better, you break down again, and everything just repeats.

God I hate myself, even for breathing, for living. I just want to stop being here. Stop existing, like wipe out any trace of my existence, so it wouldn't hurt anyone. My siblings would be sad if I'm gone, maybe that's the part that hold me here?

My hand is shaking a little bit. No matter how often I've done this, there is always this little panic, panic sliding the blade over your skin. But there is nothing that stops you.

I look at the door in front of me, and put the blade to my skin, then slide it across, multiple times.

Scary what a person can do to themselves.

I stand up and clean the cuts, bandage them and throw the old bandages away.

I unlock the doors and go down in the kitchen.

"Is dinner ready?" I ask with no emotion

"There is still food from yesterday, in the fridge" the old man sits on the couch and drinks again. He is a police officer and drinks all the time, is that even allowed? (ACAB bitches)

I open the fridge and take out some food.

After I finished eating I go back in my room, and since I don't have much to do, I just lie in bed and think about nothing and everything, just what comes to my mind.

I don't get it, why do I hate my life so much, where did it all go wrong? I'm just a waste of space, really. The amount of hate, abuse, homophobia, from this man, sometimes it's just overwhelming.

"Wake up we need to leave in ten minutes" I open my eyes and see the old man standing in front of my bed. As soon as he realizes, I am awake he leaves.

I get up, shower, brush my teeth, change in clean clothes, take my bag and go downstairs.

"Do you have everything?" I nod in response and we go outside to the car.

We drive in silence to the hospital. When we arrive, I take out my bag and we go inside.

We check in and the nurse shows me my room. The old man, just leaves. He doesn't care anyways.

"Your roommate is in a check up, but he will be here soon. So this is your bed, the bathroom is there, you can leave your clothes here and I need to check your bag for things that could harm you" the nurse seems nice but before she could touch my bag another nurse walked in, she has purple hair and red glasses

"I'll do it, you can leave" the nurse nods and leaves

"My name is Nemuri Kayama, you can call me Kayama. You are Todoroki Shoto right?" I nod in response.

She takes my bag and opens it. She opens the side pockets and takes out two razor blades "I'll take this with me".

Once she's ready, she puts my bag aside "Your roommate will be here in a minute and I need to ask you a few things, but I first need to get my clipboard, it's in another room. I'll be right back" she smiles

"Okay"

She leaves and I sit down on the bed. I look around and the room isn't so special, just a few things of my roommate on the table.

I hear someone walk in, I look to the door and see a boy, very, very thin boy "You must be the Todoroki guy huh?" I just nod

"So you are here because of your depression?" I nod again. It's kind of not his business "But why, I thought people with depression go in to therapy or some shit?"

This guy is straight forward "Because my father doesn't want to ruin the reputation of our family" I manage to say

"He sounds like a dick" he says and sits down on his bed.

Why does he need to be so talkative. Let a human live. I barely even know him.

"He really is a dick" he chuckles and it was adorable- I mean it was annoying.

"I'm Katsuki Bakugou by the way, call me Bakugou" I nod and he looks annoyed

"Why aren't you talking? Are you scared or some shit?"

I just realized, this is the guy from Instagram. I did comment on one of his pictures, but I still don't really know him.

Before I could say something else Kayama walks in, with a clipboard in her hand.

"So Todoroki I will ask you now a few questions and then you're free. I'll bring you lunch later"

"Okay" I nod

"So, attempts of self harm or suicide?"

I look down "Both" she writes something down.

"Anxiety/Panic attacks?"

"Yes" I still look down

"Social anxiety?" I nod and she writes something down again "Did you self diagnose, or was it actually a therapist?" she raises a brow

"No, it was a therapist"

She nods "Trouble with eating?" she looks at Bakugou and then back at me

"No" she nods and puts the pen aside.

"Okay this is it. Make yourself feel comfortable. If you need anything, I am sure Katsuki can help you" I look at Bakugou and nod again. She leaves us alone.

-Bakugous POV-

This boy is fucking weird, I mean sure he looks hot, but still he barely talks, always looks down and he has a fucking scar on his left side. He acts and looks weird.

"So you barely talk because of your social anxiety thing?"

He stops unpacking his things and looks at me "Yeah"

I nod "And you don't talk with anyone?"

"I only am open to people with whom I feel comfortable with. But that doesn't mean I don't talk at all, just not much. Do you have any other questions or can I continue unpacking? I mean you can ask me later things and I can ask you things" he shrugs

"Okay" he continues to unpack his thinks and I just scroll through my Instagram.

After a while Nemuri walks in with food, for him and me.

"Try to eat Katsuki. Enjoy your food" she smiles and walks off.

The half and half boy looks at me and you could see in his eyes he is curious about whatever I have "Listen half n' half, I'm gonna sit with you there but I won't eat. We can talk and some shit" is this a fucking blush on his face

"Okay" he stitters out. We both sit down on the table and he starts to eat while I just look at my food, and at him from time to time

"So, you tried to commit-" I ask awkwardly

He cuts me off "Yeah, 3 times"

I look up, does he just not care? "That's- man I don't have words" we stay silent for a while

"Yeah I don't have words either for your anorexia, I mean, you just look so thin, it's unusual" he checks my body out and I can feel my face heat up. So this is how it feels when people are straight up.

"Yeah, I almost died last year"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You should really try to eat, at least a little bit"

"Tsk, I just can't" he finishes his food and we go back to our beds.

We stay silent for a while until he breaks the silence "So you wanted to know things abot me, right? Lets start with, I don't really see a meaning in life, I don't wanna be here" be at least could show a little emotion

I look at him and he looks at his hands "I don't really care if I am dead or alive, I don't have a goal in life and the only people who would be sad if I died are my parents, Nemuri, Deku and auntie-Inko. I mean the only goal in life is to die. For some people it's too early, but some people just die later" just don't open up to him, he is just an irrelevant person to you.

We continue to talk for many hours and then we go to sleep.

I wake up and look at the clock three am. I notice that the lights are on in the bathroom and I hear someone crying.

I stand up and notice the door is open. I open the door completely and walk in, I see Todoroki sitting in the floor with a razor blade in his hand.

I quickly walk over and take the blade away "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HALF N' HALF?"

I panic, there is so much blood. I take some tissues and put them on his arm and wipe the blood away, I take more to stop the bleeding, or make it at least less.

He is still crying. We sit for five minutes just on the floor. I try to calm him down "Calm down shithead" well I never said I'm good at it.

After a while we stand up and I clean his, eh, wounds.

I sneak in another room and steal bandages and then bandage is cuts.

After that we go back to our beds, I stay awake to make sure he doesn't do something dumb again. Okay maybe I fell asleep later.

Shit, is his life really that bad? His father is a dumbass to put him in the hospital and not therapy. Learn to understand the situation, idiot.

I wake up at around six am and do the usual stuff you do in the morning, I even ate a little bit. Be proud of me bitch.

Todoroki is still asleep. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. I stalk him a little- I mean, I look out for him.

"Got a crush, Katsuki" she laughs

"What the fuck, no"

"Yeah sure" she walks over to him and wakes him up

"Todoroki time to take your pills" he wakes up and takes his tablets.

Nemuri stays in our room "Katsuki why don't you sing something for us?"

Is she fucking serious "Hell I'm gonna sing for you" I cross my arms

"If you sing, I'll tell Midoriya he can't come today"

"Alright" I say immediately. I do everything so that that stupid nerd won't come over.

I grab my guitar, yes I have a guitar, and start to play.

The stupid half n' half is blushing again.

Which idiot let me on the computer and write this- aye. Some things are just awkward.

If you struggle with anything, reach out for help!!

Edited