!!! Please read!!! TRIGGER WARNING

So first of, I know that overdose hurts, I just didn't know how to write it, plus it would probably be a trigger not only for some of you but also, probably, for me.

Second of, this is the last chapter and the last alternative ending.

Third , after I finish it I'll probably edit this, or not. I have something like a writers block right now, and I didn't want to just leave this book, so this is the only book I'm working on right now.

!!!Last but not least, I've seen more and more comments in this story, about how bad your state and situation is. Please search for help, talk to someone, and please try to keep on living and fighting. My dms are always open, if you want to talk. Remember, you're important, you matter, and believe me a lot of people will be sad and will lose themselves if you die or disappear. In the end everything is okay, and if it's not okay, it's not the end!!!

-3rd POV-

After months of Katsukis top and bottom surgery, months after the mental health institute closed, and months of Shoto trying to ignore the self harm scars on his body, they sit on the couch, pretending that all the bad and painful years didn't happen. They stare at the small TV in front of them as if they had the most normal and pain-free life.

A pain-free life is what they really wished for. Of course they also wished to never lose the other, but how do you want to keep on living if all you feel is pain? You ignore it, you just bury it inside of you, you live with it. But who really wants to live that way. Sure nothing lasts forever, but all the years, with the mental institute, the abuse, sexual harassment, living in the wring body, that feels like a forever for the boys. The question is, when will their forever end? When will the suffering end.

Some people might say that when you're with the person you love the most, pain won't be a problem. That is pure bullshit. Emotions don't care for your situation in life. They may come at the right point, but they also can come random and really at a unnecessary moment. Feelings are weird, that is for sure. And they are for sure tired.

Tired has a lot of meanings, it depends on your feelings and situation. They are for sure tired of life. Not that they don't want to see the world, they do, they want to see it. They can't deal with the world anymore, maybe even with themselves. Oh god, how much the want to travel and see new places, thy just don't have the energy.

So did the depression even go away? Did they really win the fight? Ever heard the phrase 'poised your life with lies'? So, the answer is no, they didn't win. They poised their life with the beautiful lie that they are okay. They didn't and don't want to face the hurtful truth. But for how long do they can keep the emotions inside of them. Not long.

-

"Shoto, I'm tired" "It's only eight" Katsuki shakes his head "No, not that kind of tired" he stays silent for a moment, thinking that Shoto understood what he means "I'm tired of-" "Life, living, trying?" Katsuki nods "Sorry, it wasn't suppose to come out so harsh" Katsuki buries his face in Shotos chest "It's alright. But yeah, of living" "Me too" Shoto would be lying if he said no.

"How long do we want to pretend that everything is okay?" Shoto shrugs and stays silent, thinking about his question. "Can't we just disappear?" "I wish, but it's not how it works, Katsuki" a tear rolls down Katsukis cheek "Would you be mad, if I say that I don't want to try anymore" Katsuki looks up at Shoto and waits for an answer and only get a no as an answer.

"I would be lying, if I said no" he hugs him as hard as he can "I'm not okay. IT's like the pain never went away, Katsuki. I've tried to ignore it, but I can't do it forever, you understand right?" he nods "What now? Will we keep on living like thi-" Katsuki cuts him off "We could just end it all" they let go of the hug and look each other in the eyes "Together I mean".

Some might think it came too sudden, but was it really sudden of they both thought about it and were ready for it already a long tome ago.

"Sorry, that was a dumb idea" Katsuki was ready t stand up and walk in their bathroom, but Shoto grabbed him by his wrist and stopped him. Katsuki looks again at Shoto "What is it?" "That- I- Maybe it wasn't a dumb idea" he let go of his wrist and looks down "Life is just- Sorry, I'm just scared that you don't mean what you said, that you only said that because you have flashbacks" Katsuki kneels down and takes Shotos hands in his "Shoto, I mean what I said. I don't want to live anymore, I'm tired, and according to what you just said, you are tired too" the half and half boy nods "I'm just scared that you will change your mind" "Shoto, back then in the hospital I was ready to die, I didn't care about my life. Sure, you came and made my life better and I was happier and still am, but that doesn't mean that I'm scared to die now, or that I'm not ready" Shoto finally looks at Katsuki "So you don't think that I'm dumb for wanting to end it?" Katsuki shakes his head and smiles weakly at the love of his life.

"I love you, Shoto, and I always will. I don't know what will happen once we die, but even after that, I will still love you" he closes, the not so small, distance between them and kisses him. "I love you too".

The one thing they won't get tired of, are the kisses they share everyday. They are sometimes sweet and short, sometimes passionate and wild, and sometimes full of emotions. Is that another way of saying 'I love you'?

"How many stories does this house have?" "Fifteen maybe" Katsuki sits down beside Shoto "You thinking what I'm thinking?" the weak smile of Katsuki turns into a sad smirk "Of course my dear" he goes through Shotos long hair "Still surprised that you don't have a mullet" they both smile and stay for a while on the couch.

They don't need help, they only want the pain to stop.

"So- ehm- do we change clothes or.." they were ready just to head out when Katsuki stopped them "You're right, I don't want to die in the clothes I worked in. Lets change into pajamas" they walk back in their bedroom and change in pajamas.

"That's more comfortable"

"Should we write a goodbye letter or something?" "how many times do you want stop us, Katsuki" "Sorry, I just need to say my parents somehow 'goodbye'" Shoto nods "I guess you're right. I also need to say goodbye to Fuyumi and Natsuo and maybe Nemuri" they walk in the living room and write short goodbyes the people they are close with.

"I'm ready, what did you write?" Shoto looks at his letter and then at Katsuki "That I'm happy that I could spend time with them and said goodbye, you" "Basically the same. IT's weird don't you think" Shoto shrugs "Yeah kinda. Okay lets leave before I think of throwing the masterpiece I wrote away" "You're calling your goodbye letter a masterpiece?" Shoto pretends to be hurt "Of course, I'm a poet" Katsuki leaves his letter on the table and walk to the door "Sure William Shakespeare" the laugh and walk up to the rooftop.

They walk silent hand in hand up the stairs, not smiling and trying not to think. It's ridiculous to say that you try not to think, well because it's actually impossible. But they just want to enjoy a silence in their head, in their mind. They try not to think of the pain, more of the happy moments.

They are happy to leave all the bad and happy things behind. Like they all say, nothing lasts forever, and that's what makes the happy. It makes them happy, because the pain will go away, the happy moments will live in their memory.

You may wonder, what about love? Does love also don't last forever? It last forever, but it changes. You don't love like you did a couple of years ago, it changes. Maybe you love more, maybe less. Maybe you forgot how to show love, or maybe you try to shut it down. You don't love like you did yesterday.

Not even five minutes later, they stand in front of the door to the rooftop. It would be a fail, if the door was closed, what it luckily isn't.

Shoto opens the door and they both walk out. "It sure is windy" Katsuki nods "I regret not taking my jacket with me".

They walk to the edge and stand there looking down. "Shoto, tell me about Hawks" "What do you mean?" they exchange looks, but look again down "Well you said you had a friend who tried to kill himself an filed the first time, then he did it again" Shoto hums in response. and stays silent for a while.

"Well, he wanted to be a pilot, because he liked the idea of flying. He changed his name to Hawks, I don't know what his real name was. He was a dreamer, that is for sure. He wanted to feel how it is to fly, maybe that's why he decided to jump off of a building. I wouldn't say we were close, but we told each other our thoughts and dreams. But in the end he got rid of the pain" Katsuki nods and squeezes Shotos hand.

"On three?" Shoto asks. Katsuki nods.

"One" Katsuki starts to count

"Two" Shoto tightens his grip on Katsukis hand.

Katsuki brings their hands up to his lips and kisses Shotos hand "Three"

And so at the same time they jumped.

Not sure what happened with Eri from the hospital, or Spike Spiegel from the mental health institute, the boy from whom Katsuki stole the cosplays, or the fans who were jealous of him. But the boys for sure wished them a good life, well except the cosplay boy, he was dying after all, maybe he is already dead?

While they both were falling down, their hand were still interlocked, small smiles crept up their faces. Crazy? Maybe. But the pain will be gone any second.

Any second now, their bodies will crash down, any second now, their bones will break and their bodies will start bleeding, any second you will hear a crash of their bodies, any second now two wonderful people who were deeply in love, will stop breathing. Any second wishes and hopes that they given up on, will completely die. But the love won't stop, love goes beyond life.

And so, with a not so loud and not so quite crash, their bodies lie lifeless on the ground. eyes open with a dead expression in them. Their hands no longer intertwined. Bodies not so far from each other. And blood under and beside their bodies.

Not much people new their story, not much people will cry, and for sure not much people will remember them. But they didn't want to be in the memory of a lot of people.

Of course, years will pass and Katsukis parents will be sad and heartbroken. Years will pass and Nemuri will think that it was her fault, because she couldn't help. Year will pass and Midoriya will think of his childhood friend and cry in his pillow. Years will pass and Fuyumi and Natsuo will regret that they didn't spend much time with their brother. Years will pass and all the people, who were like family to Shoto and Katsuki, will visit their graves.

If they only could control their emotions, maybe it wouldn't end like this?

Maybe if you could read their minds and every single emotion, you would be in tears and would think that they made the right thing.

They sure missed their old selves and they changed, it hurts, they missed old days where everything is alright.

Well now they are in the embrace of death, who leads them to away from everything alive. Where you don't need to think how you will survive tomorrow. Where you don't need to think of your responsibilities. Where tomorrow is not a problem. Where tomorrow doesn't exist and you can finally rest.

Where pain will go away and you finally can rest and don't have to worry about how to live right.

Where all they need to do, is be with each other.

______________________________________________________

So this is the end. I almost cried. Death sounds so beautiful here...

I hope you all will get better. I hope you all will keep on fighting. I hope that your tomorrow will be better that today. I hope you will have a happy life very soon.

See you...

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