-Bakugou's POV-

Life didn't get any better. I mean I'm happy to have Shoto, but our conditions haven't gotten any better. I lost weight again, Shoto's therapist said that he got worse and the anti depressant also don't help. So basically all we have is each other. 

It's really sad to say this, but where is the point in all this? I love Shoto really, but I think I'll die really soon and when I die, I don't think that Shoto will keep on living. 

Fuck, why is living so hard? I'm not even sure if it's living, it's more like existing. What if just one day, I will find Sho lying on the floor in his own blood? I'm really scared. Do I even deserve all this?

"Katsuki what is wrong?" Nemuri sat with me in my room while Sho was with this therapist 

"It's nothing" 

She raises a brow "Do you think I'm an idiot?" 

"Well yes and a really big one too" 

"SAY THAT AGAIN IN MY FACE" 

We stand up "I JUST DID YOU OLD YAOI MANIAC" 

"WANNA FIGHT?" 

"FUCK YEAH. BRING IT ON" 

The door opens and there was another doctor "Young Bakugou please rest" I sit down again "And Nemuri I still need the documents of Young Todoroki" 

She sighs "Yeah, I'll bring them to your office, Toshinori" she walks out and Toshinori and I are alone.  

"Young Bakugou, you know your condition got worse right?" 

I look down and nod "Of course I know, after all I see my body every day" 

He sits down on a chair "If you don't start to eat, we must feed you with liquid food and as I know we did this once and you then refused to talk to anyone. At that time your condition was the worst" I don't say anything. He sighs and stands up "Think about that young Bakugou" he walks out.

At this point I just break down. Let all the tears out. Let all the pain out. 

It hurts so much to live in this world, with all the troubles. I don't want this. Why is it so hard to be happy.

I hear the door open and wipe my tears quickly away, Shoto. "Why are you crying?" he sits down beside me and hugs me 

"It's just.. I don't even know. What is the point anyway?" I cry in his chest

"I don't know where the point is, but you should keep living. It doesn't need to be some big reason, it can be; drawing, make someone laugh, create something or just keep living to look at things you like. It doesn't need to be a person you should keep living and they should't make you feel like it's something bad to not wanting to live. But just do it for small things. I once wanted to jump in front of a car, but I then thought of my cat and thought she would be really sad if I died and so it came that I didn't jump, just because my cat would be alone. Do you understand what I mean?" I nod. 

We stay silent for a while until I break it "Shoto, what is your other opinion? You always look at things from two points" I know him well enough, to know this fact about him. 

"Well, from the other side I would say, if you don't want to live and you already gave up and don't believe that you can be happy anymore, then you could end your life. If you turned sad, angry, frustrated, numb, dark enough to end your life and it's the thing you want the most. Then do it, if your only happiness lies in ending your life, do it" he lets out a rather sad chuckle "This is fucked up, we are too young to be this sad"

I look up at him and see a tear rolling down his cheek. I wipe it away and kiss him. "Where did you hear these words?" 

He sighs, but not in the annoying way, in the way where you try to hold back tears "My brother, Touya. He left when I was little, because of my father. He always was abusive and so Touya left, but he promised to come back, and he did. I heard he also had really hard times. So now he is back and does apparently his best so we won't see my dad again" I nod and we didn't say anything else for a while. 

"Katsuki, I might get out of the hospital in a few days" 

"W-what do you mean? I mean it's great, you can leave this sad, strange place" my voice was shaky 

"It's good yeah, but I don't want to leave you" 

I sit up and look him in the eyes "Promise me when you leave, you still will visit me. That you won't leave me alone" 

"I promise" 

This isn't fair. Why now? Everything was kind of better and now he leaves again. Why is fate so cruel? I'm stuck here for my whole life. 

What happens if he just doesn't come back, what if he just forgets me? He was the first person who made me really happy. No, no, no, no, he promised, he won't forget me. Please just don't forget me, it happened to many times.

"Katsuki listen. No matter what happens, I will never forget you. You saved my goddamn life when I was here my first night, you fucking gave me a reason to life, I mean not that my depression is gone" he chuckles "Anyways, you were to one who made me happy, because of you I know what it's like to be happy and loved again, and there is no way I will forget that. If you need to talk to someone and you for some dumb reason can't talk to me, talk to Nemuri, you know you can trust her. Try to keep on living and be happy" I try to hold my tears back but they just keep falling like water falls from a waterfall. 

Again, don't take everything serious in this fanfic (I'm talking about all the harmful points they make at times)

If you need someone to talk, please reach out to a person you can trust. If you want to, you can dm me, and vent as much as you like.

Edited