A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

– Lao Tzu

June 21

It was a late Friday afternoon when my plane landed at Oslo Gardemoen Airport. I let the business travelers rush past me, while I readjusted the fit of my clothing on my body. I lifted my beige, floral bohemian skirt to check that the laces of my Doc Martens were still tied.

I then switched off the fly mode on my phone and waited for the service to be restored.

Heck, I was nervous. It had been nearly six months since I last saw Sven.

I checked my phone screen for any messages or missed calls from Sven.

Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I swear, I would release a bowl of fire ants on his crotch, then bury him alive if he was ghosting and dumping me.

Better yet, make him stand with both his arms stretched out for twelve straight hours, no break. It sounds easy, but it's actually cruel torture. I learned that from a documentary I watched about prison mafia bosses.

Once I was past the immigration control desk and collected my luggage, I stood under the green "Nothing to Declare" sign and stared at the arrival doors ahead of me.

Was he going to turn up? I was internally hyperventilating, but I held my breath and was about to walk through those doors.

One step.

Two steps.

The doors slid open.

Three steps.

Four steps.

I was now standing on the other side of the arrival doors, ready to learn the truth about Sven.

Take a deep breath, I told myself.

Close your eyes.

Now sigh.

Release the tension.

Open your eyes.

My eyes adjusted to the natural brightness of the sky, which shone through the windows and lit the airport arrival hall.

I quickly scanned the yellow signs hanging high in the hall, pointing arrows for the directions to the train station, car park, bus stop, and taxi queue.

I was attempting to avoid the disappointment of possibly not seeing Sven amid the others in the crowd waiting for their loved ones.

However, I had to face reality. I could either glance at the crowd for Sven, or I could walk past and follow the signs toward the train station.

I started walking hurriedly when I heard someone call out, "Eva!"

"Sven?" My eyes focused on a tall Norwegian man walking toward me.

Damn. That's my Sven!

He looked nothing like the university student I left behind.

The man who captivated my heart was dressed in a classic crisp, white, collared shirt with two buttons undone, sans tie. To match with his shirt, he sported neatly fitted chinos, a matching jacket, and tan leather Oxford shoes.

"Oxfords, not brogues" was the call sign of being a Kingsman.

In a similar light to Eggsy's metamorphosis in the film Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Sven transformed into a business professional with impeccable sartorial taste, tailored to perfection.

"Oh my God, Eva! I am so relieved you are okay! You have no idea how worried I've been for you!" Sven briskly walked to me and took my luggage from me and moved it to his side.

I stared at him in disbelief. No words came out of my mouth, but my eyes flashed a mixture of elation and anger.

I was thrilled that Sven was there, waiting for me. However, I was also furious that he had not communicated with me during the past few days.

I was ready to throw ninja darts into his hard stomach.

I then moved away from the crowd, while my F.I.A. (found in action) Viking hollered after me, "Slow down, Eva! Not even a hug? What the fuck?"

We were now past the crowd, so I turned to him and spat, "Are you fucking kidding me? After what you put me through?"

"What I put you through? How about you not returning any of my messages or calls?" Sven shot back. His eyes were blue-emerald rings of fire, blazing at me.

"Messages from you? What messages?" I was confused.

"What do you mean 'what messages'? Didn't you see all the missed calls and messages I left you?" Sven was equally baffled.

"No! You know what? I tried to call you for days! I've left at least a zillion messages, enough to stalk you for a lifetime. For all I know, you could've been dead," I declared.

I looked at his phone, which he pulled out of his pocket—wait a minute...

"Sven, did you buy a new phone?" I eyed the latest model of the Samsung Galaxy, but something about the design and the marking was not quite right.

"Yeah, I bought it on eBay for a really great deal. It's only a month old because the seller wanted an iPhone," he replied curtly, brushing off the hurt from my cold reception.

"When did you start using it?" I interrogated the poor fool.

"A few days ago, why?"

"Have you received any phone calls or messages?"

"Nope, it's been quiet. Wh—"

"Oh my God, Sven, your phone's a nasty fake!" I yelled, running my hands through my hair.

If there was anyone who could spot a fake a mile away, it was me.

"What the fuck? No way! I have a guarantee!" Sven shouted in frustration.

"That's probably a fake too! You bought a faulty fake Samsung, hon!"

"Herregud!" Sven shook his head in disgust as he stared at his phone with burning hatred.

"I'm really unlucky, Eva! Most fakes still function fine, but this one's a piece of shit." He grimaced in pain at the thought of being swindled by a very bad seller.

He then looked up at me.

"Here I was, thinking you iced me and if you were to arrive today, you were coming here to end our relationship and go back to Australia," he exclaimed.

"I thought you were ghosting me," I responded.

Only then did I notice that he held a single long-stemmed scarlet rose in his free hand. I took the rose, inhaled its scent, and held it close to my heart.

"I am so sorry for all of this. Come here, babe." Sven pulled me in, hugged me tightly, and buried his nose in my hair.

I was locked in his embrace, and breathed in his familiar, fresh scent of lemon, clary sage, cedarwood, and cumin.

"I missed you so much," I admitted, before planting a kiss on his tender lips. His lips generously kissed back before pulling away to speak.

"I missed you too, Eva. You have no idea. Heck, I couldn't even install my social apps, because I thought I inadvertently downloaded a bug on my new phone." He sighed in vexation.

"Your entire phone is a big bug. You need to chuck it out and get yourself a proper phone." I looked up at my Viking Ken doll and let out a soft laugh.

"Next time, don't get too cocky and gamble your superior IT knowledge on eBay. Now, turn that frown upside down," I traced my fingers along the sides of Sven's face, trying to transform his moody pout into a sexy smile.

"I guess you can call it a clusterfucked communication story." Sven chuckled, revealing his gorgeous dimples.

He cupped my face with his hands and seared my lips with warm kisses, provoking a scorching thirst that ached for the sweetest waters of a bountiful oasis.

Six months. It had been nearly six months since we touched, and we were both starving for each other's affection.

"Let's go to the car," Sven murmured, painfully pulling away from me and turning toward the exit.

As I turned, I noticed a blond teen a few feet away, staring at us while munching on popcorn. He was the spitting image of Augustus Gloop from Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

"Hey, kid! It's rude to stare. Don't you have something else to do?" I reprimanded the nosy adolescent.

Augustus Gloop shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth and shook his head.

"Come, Eva. Let's go home," Sven insisted.

A few minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger's seat in Sven's Audi at the airport car park.

"Nice car." I let out a low whistle, eyeing the interior leather seating.

"Oh yeah, it's my manager's second car. She knew I was picking you up, and she loaned it to me for the weekend," Sven commented.

"Sweet. Nice boss," I replied.

"I fucking miss you, Eva. You have no idea." Sven's hands hiked my skirt up and slid between my thighs.

"Talk dirty to me, baby," I purred. I undid Sven's belt and fly, and unleashed his hard thickness, which aimed at me.

"Warm me up, babe," Sven coaxed, as I heated his loaded gun with the sizzling warmth of my hands.

"Oh, Sven, you dirty, dirty boy." I sweetened my voice, while adding spice to the mood by loosening the drawstring tie at the center of my blouse.

Sven's eyes widened as he grinned, flashing his pearly whites. His hands reached out and yanked my blouse down, freeing my bouncy breasts from the confines of the cloth.

"No bra?"

"Do I need to wear one?"

"Not today." He proceeded to shape my tits with his bare hands.

"This. Is. Perfection." He stared at them, eyes wide open in aroused fascination.

"Mmm, Sven, are you ready for some loving?" I smiled coyly, twirling a piece of my wavy hair.

"I'm ready ready for you," He pulled me toward him, and I took the cue.

"Fucking tease." He sucked the air in, as I went down and used my tongue to toy with him.

"Oh my God, you're so good. Oh that's it, right there," he moaned, as I delved in deeper, taking his full length all the way to the back of my throat.

"Yes...yeah...right there," he guided me, as my head bobbed up and down, continuing to suck, lick, and tease him.

I kept snacking on Sven for next few minutes, while he groaned and called out my name, among other filthy sobriquets.

I then sat up and grinned at him, replacing my mouth with my hand.

"No, no, don't stop!" Sven urged.

"I'm hungry for you," I murmured.

I yanked my briefs down and placed Sven's hand at the entrance of my warm, wet core.

"Fuck, you're so wet." He gasped, and his eyes were darkened with lust.

"Come here, you!" Sven growled, roughly massaging my upper thigh, which ached with lust.

"Sure thing, captain!" I responded, as my body shifted across the seat and changed position.

I was now on top of Sven in the driver's seat, facing him. I hopped on board this Good Ship Lollipop, and was about to sail to Candy Land.

"Make love to me, sweetheart," he pleaded.

I positioned him at my entrance, lowered myself, and took all of him inside me. I was on the pill, so it was safe to proceed.

"Oh mother of all goddesses, this feels so amazing!" I felt the sexual tension break, as a burst of hot excitement traveled from between my legs to my stimulated heart, all thanks to his hard rod.

"Please don't ever leave me again," Sven begged, as he rocked into me, pushing his length in as far as he could.

"Don't worry, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," I promised.

"You're so tight. So fucking amazing. You make me come alive." He buried his head in my neck, and gently nipped my skin.

I wanted to cry, as I felt the familiar build-up rise, like a flame about to burst into wildfire throughout my nerves and veins.

Sven rocked harder into me, thrusting deeply into me.

"I'm coming, Sven," I whimpered, as my body shook and tears of joy rolled down my eyes.

"Fuuuck, I'm coming hard!" He yelled, as he stiffened and shot his load inside me.

After a while, when we had calmed down, I readjusted my blouse, and rested into his body, hugging him tight.

"I fucking love you, Eva," Sven whispered, peppering my face with warm kisses. Beads of sweat trickled from his hairline, which I wiped away with my fingers.

"You are the stars that make the constellations in my night sky." I breathed in his delicious, fresh scent and kissed his jaw.

TAP, TAP, TAP!

"Fy faen!" Sven yelped, and I jumped in response, as we stared at a sour face peering at us from outside the car window.

"What the heck, Sven?" I freaked out in confusion.

"It's the police." Sven pushed me off him, tucked his dude back in his pants, and pulled his zipper up.

TAP, TAP, TAP!

This police officer was relentless.

Sven immediately opened the door, allowing the uniformed officer to peer in at us.

"Hei," Constable Cranky announced.

"Hei," Sven responded.

"Går det bra her?" (Translation: Is everything fine here?)

Constable Cranky stared at me.

"Umm..." I was speechless.

"Snakker du norsk?" The officer glared at me.

If only looks could kill, I would be dead.

"Umm..."

"Do you speak Norwegian?" He tried again, in English.

"No, sorry, officer. Did I do something wrong?" I did my best and failed miserably at feigning innocence, by batting my eyelids.

Sven interjected and spoke to the officer in Norwegian. The two had a rather strenuous conversation during the next few minutes, gathering from Sven's tight face and worried look.

The officer then paused, and stared at me again.

"Can I see your identification?" Constable Cranky demanded.

"Sure. Here's my passport." I handed my dark blue passport to the officer.

Fucking shit, it's my first day in Norway and I'm about to get arrested for having sex in a public car park.

The officer read the identification page of my passport, then stared at me. I turned at Sven, who was a pale spectre. His hand squeezed the life out of my hand, draining it of all circulation.

Way to go, Eva! Do they have good food in Norwegian prisons? My stomach grumbled.

Constable Cranky flicked through each page of my passport, then stopped, before flicking back to the identification page again.

Sven spoke up in more gobbledegook Norwegian, and continued his conversation with the officer. I had no idea what he said, but I trusted that he was advocating for us.

I regretted not being able to speak the language, because my negotiation skills were better than Sven's—no offence.

"Okay, da! Har det bra!" Constable Cranky concluded, before turning and walking away from us. (Translation: Okay then! Good bye!)

After catching up on my breathing, I looked at Sven, who released my hand and smiled.

"What the heck, Sven? We nearly got arrested!" I freaked into song and dance.

"He thought I was buying sex!" Sven grinned.

"What? Did he think I was a foreign prostitute? Shit, Sven! I could have been thrown in jail!" I jabbered.

"Nah, if there was anyone who would have been arrested, it would have been me. It's illegal to buy sex in Norway," Sven refuted with a cheeky smile.

"Sven, it's not funny!" I huffed, crossing my arms.

"It's a story we won't tell our kids." He chuckled.

"Kids?" I screeched in horror.

"One day?" He flashed his oceanic eyes ever so innocently at me.

Only with you, I thought.

"Sven Peter Hansen, you stir, shake, and rock my world," I declared, grinning at him.

***

A/N: Poor Sven! He was too trusting and made a really bad online purchase, probably the worst I've heard. Have you ever bought a product online that didn't meet your expectations?

On another note, Melissa McCarthy might walk one thousand miles in total to be with a loved one, but I prefer the planes, trains and cars. I absolutely love her, btw. She's got sass and confidence. Who is your favorite celebrity?