"To me, when someone wrongs you, you both share the weight of that wrongdoing – the pain of it weighs on both of you. Forgiveness, then, means choosing to bear the full weight all by yourself."

—Veronica Roth

"So, what's the problem?" Hailey asked, her tone sounding only slightly annoyed that I'd called her in the middle of her study session, to vent about my love life.

I put the phone on speaker as I scooped more ice cream into my bowl. It was getting hard to do with just one hand. "I don't know, Hails. It just all seems too soon."

"It's not too soon, Tay. You've given yourself plenty of time to move on and it's not a bad thing to admit how badly you want it to work."

"I don't have a problem admitting it." I put the ice cream container back and carried the bowl to the counter and sat. I took the phone off of speaker and put it to my ear. "I guess I'm scared?"

"It's okay to be scared, but you're not scared."

The spoon in my mouth grew heavy. "I'm not?"

"You've survived a major heartbreak and now that you're happy again, you feel guilty. It's the guilt that's holding you back."

"What the fuck do I have to be guilty about?"

"You think that you're betraying the memory of your last relationship by finding peace in the new one. Come on, Tay, it's not rocket science."

"That's not right." I shoveled more ice cream into my mouth as I spoke.

"No? Okay. Have you told him that you love him?"

"Well, no. But—"

"It's been two weeks since he's said it. Two weeks of nothing but bliss, I'm sure. And I know that you love him, too. You don't have to admit it to me, I'm only your best friend in the whole world."

I tried to get more ice cream and ended up scraping what I realized then was an empty bowl. Huffing, I pushed it aside and put my head on the cool granite. "You can't manipulate me into saying it," I told her with more gusto than I felt. She was right, of course, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

Over the last two weeks I'd had a lot of time to think and reflect upon my feelings for Nathan and I came to the shocking conclusion that I felt the same way about him as he did me. I just didn't know how to go about admitting it out loud. Not even to Hailey.

"What time are you meeting him for dinner?"

I groaned. "He's coming to get me in less than an hour and then we have to go to his parents house. They're so horrid."

"You sound all of five years old, Taylor." Now she really sounded annoyed. "You've got two more minutes to wallow in your self-inflicted problems and then I'm hanging up."

"How is it my fault that they don't like me?"

"It's not, but since when have you liked anyone that you've only just met? Give them a chance to change their minds about you before you put that stupid wall back up."

She'd made a good point, but it still put me on the defensive side. "Now you're just trying to piss me off."

I could practically feel her eye roll. "Not everyone's going to like you, Tay. Besides, it's not like you're such a warm and welcoming person to begin with. They probably would have hated you even if you weren't dating their son."

"What is this? Hurt Taylor day?" I wasn't really hurt, just mad that she was making so much sense.

"You know that I love you, babe. I'm not trying to hurt you. I just want you to start thinking like the girl I know." She made a kissy noise and I rolled my eyes. "And stop being so freaking defensive! Seriously, it's making you look weak."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime. I've got to go now though. Let me know how dinner goes, preferably via text."

"Fine."

I hung up and lay my head back on the counter, appreciating the cold feeling on my cheek. I closed my eyes, deciding to take a short nap right there, but was rudely disturbed by the doorbell ringing.

I let it ring a few more times before making my way slowly to the door. I didn't even falter when I saw my sister on the other side. There was a limited number of rejected phone calls that one person could take and I guess she'd reached her quota.

"Can I help you?" I asked, leaning against the door.

"Share your warmth?" She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

I moved out of the way and let her pass. There was only so many times that letting someone stand in the cold could be perceived as funny and I'd overdone it with Brian.

"Want a beer?" I asked, already on my way to the fridge. I definitely needed alcohol to get me through whatever this was.

"That would be nice. Thank you."

I came back with two and tossed her one along with a bottle opener. I took a sip of liquid courage and smiled at her. "What can I do for you, Katie?"

She held the beer between her fingers, but didn't drink it. "I hardly came here to fight with you, Tay. But, we both know that we need to have some kind of conversation about the wedding."

"I hope you're not still holding your breath that I'll come." I took a hard swig and stared at her. "Not gonna happen, princess."

"I know." She gave me a half smile and eyed my phone that had lit up with a text from Nathan. "So, its true then?"

I snatched it up from the coffee table, wondering why in the hell I'd put it there. "That you're really going through with this wedding of yours, regardless of who it hurts? Why, yes."

She seemed to understand that I was just giving her a hard time. "It's true that you've got a new guy." She finally took a long sip of her beer. "I don't want to say that he's the reason that you're practically glowing, because I know that you've never needed a guy to be happy, but you do look really good, Tay."

"How'd you know there was a guy?" That was now the more pressing matter. I couldn't for the life of me remember ever mentioning Nathan to any of my family members.

"Brian may have suggested that you've got someone new."

I raised my brow and crossed my legs, draining the last of my beer. "Did he, now?"

She gave me the first genuine smile of the night. "I'm happy for you. We both are."

I uncrossed my legs and leaned closer to her. "No, you're relieved that I've got other things occupying my mind and you hope that he'll help me move on, so that you two don't have to feel so guilty about stabbing me in the back, because at least I got a relationship out of the betrayal. Sounds better?"

For the first time since this whole thing started, I saw Katie visibly relax. "You're absolutely correct."

I leaned back, feeling satisfied. This was the Katie that I knew. The one that didn't hesitate to speak her mind, even if it meant hurting the recipient. Gone was the teary-eyed, sad girl and the world was a better place for it.

"I meant what I said about not coming here to fight with you. We've been at it since we were in diapers, and it's getting a bit old, don't you think?"

"Why are you here then? Finally decided to get off your high horse to deliver the final blow?" I fully expected her to say something that equated to her rubbing it in my face, and honestly, it probably wouldn't even hurt that much. I was that over it.

"No." She rolled her eyes. "I'm not that cruel, Tay. You're still the other half of me, and I do love you very much."

"Get on with it."

She had the nerve to shake her head at my rudeness. "I wanted to see for myself that you were okay. After spending the better part of my engagement making myself sick at the thought of you not surviving this, I needed to see your recovery for myself."

I laughed. "My God, Katie, you're making it sound like I was dying or something. Also, I was always going to survive your betrayal, with or without a new guy. I'm tougher than you are, we both know this. I just needed some time to adjust to the new knife that you'd stuck in my back." I wasn't surprised that my words didn't even phase her.

She smiled at me. "Yes, Taylor, you're tougher. Always have been. Doesn't mean that you don't hurt just as much as I do at the thought of losing your sparing buddy. Who would you fight with if you cut me off?"

"Hailey," I said without hesitation. "She makes for a way better sister, anyway."

"But she's not." She attempted to place her bottle on the table and I handed her a coaster to use before she ruined it. "I truly am sorry, Tay. I should have advised you from the beginning that you two were never going to work because you were wrong for each other. And I never should have jumped at the chance to date him. But, surely you realize by now that we're way more compatible that you two ever were?"

I reluctantly nodded. "You're both terrible people and you deserve each other. I'd hate to think of you two making anyone else besides each other miserable. It's really a public service that you're getting married."

She didn't take it to heart and that meant that our war was almost over. "That's as close to a blessing as we're going to get from you, so thank you."

"You're welcome."

The doorbell rang as we were getting ready for round two and I cursed under my breath. "I'm not going to find your fiancé on the other side of that bell, am I?"

She shrugged. "My guess is as good as yours."

It wasn't her fiancé. It was Nathan. And that was even worse.

"Bad time?" He asked when he took in my expression. "I texted you letting you know that I was on my way.... Should I leave?"

I put my arms around him. "No, don't leave." I laughed when I felt him relax. He was so adorable. "My sister is here, but you can just ignore her."

"If you really want me to," he said as we walked hand in hand into the living room.

Katie gave him a cheesy smile, not at all bothered by the fact that he'd just sat beside me without acknowledging her. She really didn't know when to give up. "I'm Katie," she told him. "The backstabber."

"He's ignoring you," I gladly informed her. "And you're going to let him."

She shrugged as though it didn't bother her either way. "I was about to leave anyway." She stood. "Nice meeting you," she told Nathan and then turned to me. "Walk me out, Tay."

I rolled my eyes but followed her out. The groan that escaped my lips when she stopped short of the door, was laughable. "Leave already," I commanded.

"I need to know that we're okay before I leave." She looked me full in the face, her expression softer than before. "Are we?"

"We're good, Katie. You're absolved of your crimes against my heart."

She looked like she was about to say something else but thought better of it and pulled me into her instead.

I patted her back for a minute, before giving in and hugging her back. "I'm still not coming to your wedding," I said when I pulled away. "And you two can still drown for all I care."

She pulled an envelope out of her coat pocket and stuck it in my hand. "If you change your mind, the details are in there." She gave me a sad smile, one that I wasn't expecting. "I don't expect you to be there, but it would mean a lot to share my day with you. You're still the closest person to my heart, regardless of how often we fight and how much you seem to hate me." She turned and opened the door. "I love you, Tay," she said and then she left.

"Wow," I said to myself as I made my way back to Nathan. "That girl is a piece of work."

He opened his arms and I snuggled up against him. "Wanna skip dinner and have a therapy session?"

I gasped. "And risk your folks hating me even more?"

He laughed and held me tighter. "They don't hate you. Chances are they probably don't even think about you. Like at all."

I thumped him. "Shut up."

He checked his watch and then kissed my head. "If you hurry, we shouldn't be too late."

I groaned. "Ugh... fine."

Two hours later, sitting at the Davenports' vast dinner table surrounded by an air of awkwardness, I actually wanted a trade deal where I somehow ended up at dinner with my parents instead. It was that awkward.

"Taylor," Mrs. Davenport said, addressing me with a smile. "What is it that you do?"

"Oh, I work in a bookstore," I blurted out and it wasn't until I saw her cringe, that I realized how lame I sounded.

It bugged me that I even cared.

It got quiet once again and I wanted to rip my hair out. I'd never been so stressed when there was a full spread of food in front of me and it was disheartening.

"How long do we have to stay?" I whispered to Nathan who only rolled his eyes in response.

Mr. Davenport cleared his throat and we all turned to look at him. I kept thinking this is so freaking weird the entire time it took him to gather his thoughts.

"We really just wanted to apologize for the way things ended the last time that we were all here." He tried to smile but it didn't quite pan out. "Son," he said, addressing Nathan who hadn't said a word to them, beyond the usual greetings. "You've got to stop ignoring us."

Nate sighed. "Just leave it, Dad."

I took his hand beneath the table and he gently squeezed mine in appreciation.

"I can't just leave it!" His father was angry now. "You've been pushing us away for too long and that stops right now! Do you hear me? It stops this instant!"

I didn't know whether to be more concerned about Nathan or the vein on his father's forehead that looked dangerously close to popping.

"Honey," Mrs. Davenport said quietly. "Don't."

Her husband didn't take the hint and instead reverted to apologizing profusely for inviting- gag- Emily over and at that point I completely tuned him out.

I'd sat through too many empty apologies recently, compliments of my parents and paying too close attention to this one was putting me in a bad mood.

"And you need to call your sister off. It's like she's out to prove who can be more distant and it's beyond hurtful!"

I tuned out again.

I didn't know whether to consider myself lucky that I managed to end up with someone whose family was just as fucked up as mine or be worried that it'll be a huge problem later.

I was pondering this dilemma when I realized that people were yelling. I snapped out of my thoughts and refocused my attention on what appeared to be an ensuing fight. Nathan was no longer beside me. He was now standing dangerously close to his father who looked just about ready to punch him.

I quickly inserted myself between the two men and pulled Nathan away. I shot his mother a look that I hoped conveyed how confused I was at her silence, while Nate fought against my grip. I hadn't been paying attention, so I didn't know what all that was about, but I knew that it was never, ever, ever that serious. Arguing with your parents was one thing, but anything extra was just asking for trouble.

"We should go, yeah?" I said as I pulled him out of the room. When he stopped, I tugged harder. "Come on. You don't want to do this, Nate."

He grunted, but thankfully, he'd started moving again. When we were at the door, I tossed him his coat but didn't bother waiting for him to put it on before I was dragging him out the door.

I hightailed it out of there, missing my exit three times in my haste before my mind had calmed down enough to focus on the gps.

"Sorry about that," Nathan said, sounding extremely small.

"Are you okay?" I snuck a quick glance at him and stuck out my right hand at the sadness that showed on his face.

"I'm okay." He placed a kiss on my hand and I returned it to the steering wheel, feeling calmer. "That was nothing new. My dad... he can be a bit of an asshole when he's riled up."

"A bit, huh?"

"Just a little."

I let out a relieved sigh at the fact that he found humor in the situation. "We don't have to go back there. Like ever."

He placed his hand on mine and I glanced at him. He was wearing a smile that held so many emotions and I just wanted to hug him.

"I'm pulling over. Okay?"

He nodded and a few minutes later, I pulled into the almost deserted parking lot of a 7-Eleven.

We sat there for the better part of an hour. Through heavy sighs he told me about the tumultuous relationship that he shared with his parents, more so, his father. His father, who hadn't and probably wouldn't ever forgive him for not going into business as they'd planned and instead following his heart and becoming an architect. It didn't matter that he was successful and happy. The only thing that counted was the fact that he'd let his parents down.

Although I completely understood where he was coming from, being the family disappointment myself, I didn't say that. I just reached over and held his hand.

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't followed my dreams and followed in his footsteps instead." He shook his head, staring past me. "But, it's waste of a wish. I'd be miserable doing something that I hated and I just..."

"I know." He didn't have to finish that sentence. I did know. And although working at the bookstore wasn't what I envisioned for the rest of my life, in a way I was rebelling against my parents' misguided expectations. I suspected that it was harder for Nate though, because while my folks only had hope that I'd be like Katie someday, it was expected that he'd be everything that his wanted him to be and more.

"Spend the night?"

I kissed him softly and nodded. "I had better plans, but I can work around it."

We spent the next three days in each other's arms and it seemed like all our troubles were behind us. For now, at least.

By the time the new week rolled around, he was in a much better mood and even the unexpected arrival of his parents the night before didn't put a damper on it. I guess that that was where we differed. While I could never seem to shake my anger and tended to hold grudges that probably extended beyond this lifetime, Nathan didn't have that problem.

Despite the way that the dinner had ended, he'd embraced them and accepted his father's apology and even let his mother cook us dinner. It begrudges me to say that it only got awkward when she'd suggested that I "help her" make it. If an eye roll could have saved me, Nathan's would have, but with the way that life's set up and all... it didn't.

I wish I could say that they had a sudden change of heart and accepted me, but no. They were trying though, and I commended them for it.

I wouldn't let myself fall victim to worrying about whether they'll ever accept me. I couldn't. As Hailey had so wisely pointed out, not very many people liked me right off the bat and until now it hadn't bothered me. So, I wasn't going to let their hostility, no matter how subtle, ruin a good relationship.

I smiled to myself as I walked into the restaurant where I was meeting Kelly for brunch. I had made noticeable progress in the last month or so when it came to dealing with the unpleasant parts of my life like an adult and I was super proud.

I filled Kelly in on what had transpired at dinner and wasn't surprised that she'd found it hilarious.

"He is such an ass," she said after composing herself. "Honestly, I don't know why Nate insists that we maintain a relationship with them. I've been in favor of cutting them off since I turned eighteen, but your boyfriend won't allow it."

I sipped my coffee and shook my head at her statement. "Maybe he's right."

Kelly laughed. "Trust me, he's not. Our parents are definitely the kind of people I could do without in my life."

I winced. "That was way harsh. You don't really mean that, do you?"

The fact that that question came from me, left me a bit unsettled. I often thought the same thing, but deep down, I knew that I didn't really mean it. I was angry and hurt and maybe it'll take years for things to be okay between me and my parents, but I wouldn't wish them gone from my life forever. I'll eventually move on from the betrayal and maybe someday I'll forgive them. The rational part of my brain had known this all along and was waiting patiently for my heart to be healed before we all banded together and dealt with it.

"Taylor." Kelly said my name without any humor. "I let my parents down the minute that I was old enough to sniff out their bullshit and its been a decade and I'm still letting them down daily." I didn't know how she interpreted my silence, but she plowed on. "You think that Nate not going into business and taking over my fathers' company is bad? Try flunking out of college in my senior year and being unable to keep a steady job if my life depended on it."

She gave me a pained smile but still I remained silent. I didn't want to interrupt with words that would mean nothing. This was something that she needed to get off her chest. I suspected that she didn't visit this part of her life too often, and boy, oh boy, could I relate.

"I can see the train-wreck that my life is from a mile away, but at this point I just don't know how to fix it. I can't seem to get my shit together like Nate can." She shrugged limply. "I'm a complete and total mess and although its stopped being funny seeing how uncomfortable it all makes my parents, I don't want to let the comicalness go. I'm afraid that if I stop laughing, I'll start crying." She blew out a shaky breath and I swore I saw a tear, but it was gone with one swift flick of her finger. "I don't do tears, Taylor. Makes me feel icky all over."

"I'm kind of a mess too," I told her. "I drew the short stick and my sister got the good genes and the perfect life, while I got stuck with myself."

She nodded. "Nothing worse than being forced to live in the shadow of the perfect kid."

"She's not perfect though. But, that's the thing isn't it? It doesn't even matter what I think. My parents worship the ground that she walks on because she did all the right things and I strayed too far away." I laughed to quell the bitterness that I could taste on my tongue. "Its so fucked up. She gets to ruin my happiness and they all expect me to instantly forgive and forget. As if its ever that easy."

Kelly signaled for our waitress and she refilled our wine glasses. Picking hers up, she almost drains it in one go. "You'll be happy again. Its just a matter of when.

I smiled, momentarily forgetting my anger. "I am happy."

She took in my smile and then gave me one of her own. "Because of Nate?"

I nodded. "He's a big part of it, but its mostly the fact that I've found closure and I know that in time I'll be able to think about my family without feeling my heart clench in anger. I know that one day I'll be able to say my sister's name without wanting to cry." I picked up my glass. "I'm happy because I know that it gets better. Not right away, but someday."

Yeah. Someday.