Natalia

The lab coat was supposed to minimize the attention of my colleagues to my today's appearance. Judging by the number of glances I've collected in the first two hours of work, I failed at that first task for the day.

Kate walks around the bay from the microscope with a flat of tinted samples. "There are rumors that you are going on a hot date tonight." Kate lowers her voice even though her and I are the only two in my lab. "Fiona asked me in the bathroom if I knew what you and Samson are fighting about"— does everyone know Samson and I broke up?—"or why you weren't wearing your engagement ring."

Fiona is one of my best interns, but gossiping is something she could be an Olympic champion in.

I roll my eyes. "She only told me she liked the lipstick I used."

"That's my lipstick you're getting compliments on." Kate puckers her mouth. "She said nothing of the sort to me."

That's because the colors of Kate's lipstick don't shock anyone anymore. She went through green, black, purple, orange, and super-glitter versions. If she'd like to shock the lab she needs to consider showing up without makeup, the state even I haven't seen her in after living with her for two days.

"I didn't take it as a compliment." I close down the files that captured yesterday's progress of the drug delivery on my current samples of living tumors. "She probably thinks I'm trying too hard because of my new position. I should've picked up my clothes and makeup over the week-end instead of borrowing yours.'"

"Pfft." Kate gives me a you're-full-of -yourself look she usually reserves for the colleagues she doesn't like. She removes the latex gloves and washes her hands in the sink at the end of the bay. "You always delude yourself by imagining people think about you. Everyone's too worried about themselves to dedicate that much time to thinking about others. That's the principle I operate under."

"Is that why I end up with the most inconvenient times for my studies? They forget about me?" The question is rhetorical.

Kate gives me another, "Pfft." She plops on the chair next to mine. "On that note, we'll have to shuffle the schedule. The gamma counter in the radioactivity lab is stuck again. If we call the engineer who flew out to fix it last time, he can fit us in in two weeks for twenty grand total, including his travel and living expenses."

"Third time this year?" My voice climbs the Kilimanjaro. "No, thank you." I roll away, allowing Kate to take my place at the computer with the readings form the time lapse microscope. The naive me though that getting the approval to hire my first official full-time employee will come with more money for... at least something. I was told I was asking for too much. "I will have to start selling kidneys on the black market to afford it. The only budget increase I got is for the headcount. The equipment and materials budget stays the same."

"I'm just passing along the news. You do you." Kate's attention shift to the computer screen, as she pulls up the most recent 3D images of the tumors.

I leave Kate to do her thing. I may be the PI now, but that's just the newest hat I get to wear. I'm also the repair person for half of the equipment in my and shared labs, a coordinator and shuffler of schedules extraordinaire, manager of people's emotions and adviser when it comes to their careers, all in-between fighting for resources and funding.

No one told me being in charge of a lab would be easy. I wanted to do this, but the reality is much less glamorous than the idyllic version of the process I created in my mind. I make it back to my office and slide the door mostly closed. Taking on more responsibility didn't seem to mean removing some of the tasks off my plate.

The sticky notes around the two monitors on my desk wink at me in a yellow-pink-orange patchwork.

Pick me. Pick me.

I give them the evil eye and bring the main calendar onto the right screen. Even if I fix the gamma counter today, which is possible but unlikely, I'll have to move the injection date to—

"Natalia." Jessie, the most recent intern I've been working with for the last three months knocks on the glass wall of my office as she walks in. "So the gamma counter in the radia—"

"On it."

"And remember, I'm out next week." She stares at my face as if I should remember what the reason for her absence is.

I angle my gaze at the calendar I've been studying and thank my foresight of adding everything to it. "Your mom's surgery."

"Yes. So I'll be able to rerun everything the week after, if the machine is fixed. You're a savior for taking care of it." She presses her hands to her chest in silent thanks before she steps out.

"If the machine is fixed," I mutter angrily under my breath. That means I have to move the next phase by a week as well. Which means three more people who're involved will have to either switch or work on my study and whatever else they've been planning to work on.

"I see you're busy, but this will only take a second." Fiona waltzes into my office and sits in the chair on the opposite side of my desk. "Peter messed up the cuts again."

The hands-on approach I instituted when I got my first intern backfired by the time their number grew to three. I thought assigning Fiona to manage Peter was a smart move to take some work off my plate, but now I get a chance to deal with the same problems but via a second-hand account. I add delegation to my mental list of things I should address about my management style.

"Again?" I pick up one of the pens and click the button to the rhythm of the frustration humming in my temples. "As in that happened before?" Peter's been on rotation in our lab for the last two weeks, and Fiona's job was to show him how to slice the tissue and understand which part of the mouse's brain is affected.

"He was supposed to scan them and put them into the correct folders, and now the images from two different samples are mixed in. We'll have to redo the whole thing. That'll move the timeline for the entire study."

My irritation spreads from my head into my jaw, as I grind my teeth. Good thing I have not started moving schedules yet. I sigh. "I'll talk to him after lunch."

She rises and smiles. "Did I mention how pretty you look today?"

"Thanks." I sound flatter than I intended, but me wearing red lipstick should not be causing this level of fascination. I turn to my left computer screen so that most of my back is to her. She gets the message, and I'm alone in my office.

"Natalia." Samson's voice is tense. I freeze. My heart sinks to my stomach.

The desire to cry or shout assaults me. I squeeze my eyes shut. We're still colleagues. We have to find a civil way of being around each other. I take a deep breath and hold it. One. Two. Three. I plaster a semblance of a smile on and face him. "Good morning."

Are the dark circles under his eyes more prominent, or am I projecting?

"We need to talk," Samson says with a tired softness to his voice.

My thoughts exactly. "I agree. Wanna sit down?"

Samson glances behind his shoulder at the row of look-alike offices to his left and the hallway not full of people, but not abandoned either. "Your lab maybe?"

"Kate's documenting the live cell imaging with the time-lapse microscope there."

Samson washes his palm over his face and sighs, like I just told him we'll have to run a mile to talk. I could never get him into running with me. One of the small number of things we never did together. He leans on the door frame. "I don't think I can work today if we wait until you get home to talk."

I narrow my eyes. My top lip climbs up as if I'm smelling the pungent vapors of bacteria in the incubator. "I'm not going back to the apartment tonight."

"You must. This whole fight is getting out of control." He shoves one of his fists into the front pockets of his khakis and takes out my ring. "Here." He walks over to my desk and extends his hand so that my engagement ring—my ex-engagement ring?—hangs in front of my eyes.

"I don't want it back." I roll my office chair back until it hits the wall. My gutted chest rattles on impact. Too much empty space where Samson used to reside.

"Natalia, we can't break up because we had a fight. People have fights," he says in a strangled whisper as he closes my door behind him. "We love each other. We can figure things out." He leans over my desk and sets the ring on the mouse pad that has a photo of me and my colleagues goofing off.

His smiling face is on the mat as well. Now I'll have to get rid of the mat and buy a new one. I lift the mouse off it, wrap the ring in the mousepad, like a particularly bad dumpling, round my desk, and stuff it in the pocket of his shirt. "I'm not taking it back."

My office door slides open. "The gamma counter in the radioactivity lab—"

"I know." I snap at I don't even know whom, because my attention is on the hand Samson wraps around my wrist. Desperation surges in his eyes. My heart is now on the floor, flapping like a fish out of water.

"Refrigeration room?" I wrestle my wrist from his grip and lead the way.

Author's Note

11.14.22

I've been making loads of progress with this story during the fourteen days of the NaNoWriMo. But I can't just post all of the words of the draft straight here (it's way too messy and incomplete in its 'vomit' version that comes out when I type what's in my head🤮).

With my time spent on writing a ton every day (I've written 31,940 words over the last 14 days), there's not much time left for editing. I had to break up the conversation between Samson and Nata into two parts, so that I have something to share with you guys. Next chapter is so emotional, I want to give it a decent edit before plopping the conversation between these two over here.

In other news, if you follow me on socials, you probably saw that I'm going to Wattcon this week. 🍾

!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it's actually happening.

!!!!!!!!!

I get to meet many Wattpadders I chatted with online over the last three years.

If all goes well, I'll post another chapter of Love Expectations this week, before I leave. The next one should come on schedule. Maybe I get to edit while I'm on the plane and manage to post more. No promises, but I'll do my best.

I'm so excited with where the story has gotten during NaNoWriMo. The rollercoaster of emotions has been brutal.

Follow me on my IG and Tiktok @galarussauthor for updates as I travel to LA, attend Wattcon, and try not to stress out over everything.

My first ever writing conference.😱

Thank you for your support!

Love,

GR