thirty-three || untrustworthy desires

ʚ♡ɞ

A whole week has passed since Beomgyu and his friends cut contact with one another.

A whole fucking week.

Even though all of them were in the same class, but none of them dared to talk to each other after what had happened between them all.

Huening Kai and Taehyun still talk to each other, but it was clear and obvious the pinkette still hid some things from his best friend.

Soobin and Yeonjun...

He hasn't heard any news that they broke up yet, but he was so glad they didn't. Even though he barely saw the two together he was just happy the two of them had each other throughout this time... it must be really awkward for them both.

For Beomgyu, he had been spending his time with Seong-jin and his friends, an escape to hopefully clear his mind from the situation that was happening within his precious friend group.

He was grateful that Seong-jin and the others showed him kindness throughout his tough time, but he couldn't help but continue to live in regret and guilt every single day about what had happened with Yeonjun and Taehyun.

It was like the two of them were strangers now, Yeonjun never talked to him. No matter how long and how patiently Beomgyu waited, the elder never came up to him or even tried to talk to him.

It hurt, it continued to hurt for a long time.

But the most he could do is just give the elder space, wait for him to finally come up to him and talk.

"Beomgyu! Are you alright?"

Beomgyu's eyes flickered up in front of him, making eye contact with Seong-jin who stared down at him curiously, holding two little bottles of strawberry milk in his hands, one of them obviously for him.

"I'm fine," Beomgyu smiled gently, he was so grateful that Seong-jin has been there for him. Even if the male didn't know anything about what was going on, he was still happy he was kind towards him. "I was just spacing out, need anything?"

Seong-jin smiled softly and nodded. "I was wondering if you'd like to go and get some snacks with me? I don't want to go alone."

Beomgyu couldn't refuse that offer, he understood how awkward it was getting things alone when you're so used to being around people.

So with an approving nod, the two of them began to walk towards the door and into the hallway until Beomgyu suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes immediately landing on Soobin who was walking towards the classroom while talking to his friend, completely unaware of that Beomgyu was in front of him.

The males heart dropped as he thought about what happened, even though it seemed fine, he couldn't help but feel guilty about dragging Soobin into all of this.

If only he wasn't so foolish with his feelings.

I need to talk to someone at least once, Beomgyu thought, unaware of how tensed and red Seong-jin became when the blonde came closer. I should take that first step... I need to heal what's broken.

"S-Soob—" Seong-jin mumbled softly before getting cut off when Beomgyu stepped forward.

"Soobin hyung," The male called out for the blonde, causing both him and his friend to look directly at him curiously. "I hope I'm not bothering you."

Soobin's eyes flickered over towards Seong-jin whose face instantly dulled, but he didn't really care about who he was. Looking back at Beomgyu, he smiled softly and shook his head. "It's okay, you're not bothering me at all."

"I was wondering if we could talk." Beomgyu breathed out softly, proud of himself that he managed to ask that without stuttering or anything.

"He's clearly t-talking to someone Beom—"

"Sure." Soobin unconsciously interrupted Seong-jin, in his defense, he didn't hear him anyway. "Where would you like to go?"

Beomgyu was so relieved that at least one person would be willing to talk to him, glancing over at Seong-jin, he noticed how red and upset the male look... but he decided to brush it off and ask him about it later, right now he just wanted to get this out of the way and mend at least one friendship.

"Just somewhere private," Beomgyu said softly, he didn't want to say what exact place they would go do because he didn't want others overhearing what had happened. "Is that okay?"

Soobin nodded his head and shortly said goodbye towards his friend before the two of them started walking away from the classroom together, it was like they both knew what spot Beomgyu wanted to take him.

After a few more minutes of just walking the two of them eventually made it outside where there were barely any people since mostly everyone was inside except for the gym class but they were far out of ears reach.

The two of them sat down on a bench, suffocating in awkward silence as neither of them knew what to say to each other, especially after what had happened.

But after composing himself, Beomgyu sighed softly and looked over at Soobin. "I'm really sorry."

Soobin looked over at him curiously, his eyes widening as if he wasn't expecting a sudden apology.

"I'm..." Beomgyu breathed out, his eyes closing for a second as he tried to breathe. "I'm really sorry, you must be super upset at me right? I didn't mean to cause such a hard time for you."

Beomgyu waited for a few seconds, after receiving silence he knew it was a sign for him to continue talking. "I never intended to... lie, I just really wanted Yeonjun to be happy. It's true I did like you at first, but after he told me he liked you... I wanted nothing more than anything than my best friend to be happy."

"But I never intended to use him as a rebound for you," Beomgyu's voice began to tremble, his heart hurting as he thought out the harsh words his best friend said. "I just wanted the two of you to be happy, it really did look like you liked him a lot after I rejected you, but that was such bad timing."

"He had nothing to do with this," Beomgyu looked away and down at the ground in shame. "I never meant to play with your feelings, I just wanted him to be happy because you two looked so much better and... you look more in love with him than you did with me."

"But I promise you, Yeonjun didn't have anything to do with this!" Beomgyu said and looked up at him. "He actually wanted me to be with you more than anything, but... I... I just knew that... he would be happier with you."

After he finished talking, he looked over at Soobin for a few seconds, his mind clouding with anxious thoughts the longer the elder remained silent.

"Man," Soobin groaned loudly, startling Beomgyu as the male covered his face with his hands and leaned back onto the bench as if he were exhausted. "Everything really does make sense now."

"I really didn't expect all of this to happen because two of my friends had feelings for me, it makes me feel bad myself." Soobin chuckled softly, trying to ease up the atmosphere which only made Beomgyu feel worse.

"It's not your fault, Beomgyu," Soobin spoke softly, causing the males eyes to widen as he looked over at him. "You were only trying to make your best friend happy, but you did it in a wrong way. An untruthful way."

"But that doesn't mean I hate you or like you any less, if anything, I'm grateful you rejected me." Soobin chuckled awkwardly saying that, scratching the back of his neck. "It took me a little bit, but I think liked you more in a platonic way than romantic, you know what I mean?"

Beomgyu let out a soft relieved sigh, expecting his heart to ping with pain when the elder said that, but instead it began to bloom into small little buds of happiness, washing away the eating guilt that was taking him alive.

"But... even after... you didn't use Yeonjun as a rebound...?"

"What? Hell no," Soobin scoffed, clearly annoyed that everyone was referring to his boyfriend as that. "I came to him on my own, I fell for him and realized my feelings on my own. I was just so occupied with everything I didn't realize it sooner, I never have been so in love with someone in my life, Yeonjun... forever has my heart, he will never be a rebound in my eyes, it may seem like that to others, but I never used him as one, I love him for who he is."

Beomgyu stared at the blonde for a second before breaking into a small frown, but not because he was saddened by what he had just said, but because he felt so relieved he began to become angry at himself. "I really hope what happened didn't make you guys split up, it wasn't my intention..."

"Split up?" Soobin repeated in shock, shaking his head aggressively. "We never broke up, Beom. You should know better than anyone that when Yeonjun is angry, he ignores the world around him, unfortunately I am part of that... but I've just been giving him space until he's ready to talk, but if he tried breaking up with me I wouldn't allow that, I know he wouldn't mean it."

Beomgyu didn't know what to say, he had expected Soobin to yell at him like Yeonjun did, to blow him off and tell him what he did was the most stupidest thing anyone could ever do, but instead... he was actually talking to the male properly, no awkward tension between them at all.

It made him relieved that at least one person didn't hate him.

"I understand if you didn't want to be friends with me anymore, especially after what happened." Beomgyu mumbled softly, looking away in shame as he tried his best not to break down. "I'll stay out of your sight, keep my mouth shut."

Soobin's expression suddenly changed into a pitiful smile, gently patting the males hair, he made Beomgyu turn around and stare at him curiously. "That hurts a little bit, Beom, you don't want to be friends with me anymore?"

"N-No, that's not what I meant," Beomgyu shakily said, his heart thumping with anxious guilt. "I just... I thought... after what happened you wouldn't want to be friends anymore..."

Soobin laughed softly, almost like he was amused by what Beomgyu had just said. "You have to stop thinking about such negative things, you don't have to worry. Even if things went wrong, I would never stop being friends with you."

Beomgyu felt some closure, he felt so light now that he knew Soobin didn't hate him, that he didn't have to continue thinking about the bad things and that he finally took a step and mended something that he thought was broken.

If only he could do that for two others...

"You don't have to worry about it, I'll try to talk to Yeonjun for you."

"You're going to talk to him...?" Beomgyu mumbled softly, a hint of fear in his voice.

"I can't pretend I didn't hear what I heard, it's better to talk to him instead of allowing him to be all angry in his bubble." Soobin said, standing up.

The blonde looked down at him and smiled gently, "I'll try my best to talk to him, but for now, try to ease a little. It's not entirely your fault, alright?"

Beomgyu sat there and nodded hesitantly, he really was grateful Soobin talked to him.

"I really do hope everything gets better with you and Yeonjun," Soobin started off, turning around to talk away since he needed to go help his friend with something, but he stopped himself and looked over at the male over his shoulder. "I also hope everything gets better with Taehyun as well..."

"... Since you two are made for each other."

Beomgyu felt all air in his lungs immediately fade away, his breath hitching when Soobin had said that, but before he could say anything else towards the elder, he had already walked away.

Normally, he would've felt so devastated, but now he felt so happy that he fixed something. He wanted to genuinely cry, just break down right there and then, but he knew better.

He was thankful, that at least he fixed one thing.

ʚ♡ɞ

After walking back to class, Beomgyu felt more confident to try and talk to Yeonjun about everything again, even though Soobin did say he would talk to him for him, he wanted to do it himself.

Slowly entering the classroom, the males eyes landed on Yeonjun who had his head down on his desk, his headphones in as he ignored the whole world around him, drowning himself in an ocean of music.

Taking a deep breath, the male began to walk towards him before stopping himself when he saw Taehyun right next to him who was busy sketching.

It made him bloom an intense fear in his stomach, he was still too nervous to even confront Taehyun or talk to him after what happened. But that didn't change how badly he missed him.

But first things first, Yeonjun came first.

The male took a deep breath and walked over towards the male, once he was close enough, he crouched down next to his desk and gently tapped the elders wrist.

"Yeonjun hyung," Beomgyu said softly, knowing the elder could hear him despite his headphones. "I understand you're upset at me, but can we talk about it...? I swear it won't be long."

The male waited for a few seconds for at least an answer, but as always, he was ignored.

Nibbling on the bottom of his lip softly, he gently tapped him again. "You don't have to be upset or worried, okay? I told Soobin hyung, that it had nothing to do with you, that it wasn't your fault.

"...who do you think you are...?"

Beomgyu's head tilted slightly, confusion washing over his face as Yeonjun's sentence came out muffled by how much he was pressing his face into his arms. "W-What?"

"I said," Yeonjun suddenly sat up, ripping his headphones out of his ears. "Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

"I-I don't understand—" Beomgyu suddenly stood up, backing away from the elder.

"Of course you don't!" Yeonjun's voice began to raise as he turned his head and death glared at the male. "It's like you're obsessed with being nice! You think that just because you cleared my name I'd forgive you? You're fucking selfish Beomgyu! You act like you're all nice but in reality you're cruel! You're a fucking cruel person!"

All of those words began to stab at Beomgyu's heart as he stared down at Yeonjun with a heartbroken look, his hands trembling as he felt that anxious feeling hit him again

"That's not what I intended—"

"Then stop! I have nothing to say to you, get lost!" Yeonjun raised his voice louder, slamming his fist on his desk which caused Beomgyu to flinch and the few other classmates in the room to stare at them. "Stop trying to apologize to me! You're a cruel human being, leave me the fuck alone."

Beomgyu watched as Yeonjun breathed out heavily before laying his head back down into his arms, the male genuinely was left speechless, all of the things he wanted to say just vanished in that moment.

Looking down slightly, the male nodded and gave up once more. "I understand," He breathed out. "Just talk to me when you're ready."

Beomgyu turned around and wiped his eyes to prevent the stinging painful tears that threatened to fall down his face, shaking his head, he walked away from
the elder.

"...You know that wasn't necessary, right?"

Yeonjun looked up from his spot and over at Taehyun who didn't spare him a glance, too busy focusing on his artworks that looked lame as fuck. "Shut the fuck up, Kang, you're worse than him."

"I may be worse than him," Taehyun said nonchalantly, looking over at his phone to skip the song that just started playing. "But we both know he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment from you. Ignoring him is one thing, but verbally insulting him constantly doesn't help either."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Yeonjun grumbled angrily, looking away as he covered his face with his arms again.

"Even if he's in the wrong because he lied to you, I was the one who suggested we'd fake date," Taehyun admitted truthfully, looking back at his paper and continued sketching the frangipani on it. "I was harsh to him and my words on the day you found out... sorry."

Yeonjun stared blankly and remained silent before lifting his head up, his mood calming down slightly as he crossed his arms.

"You lied about so many things," Yeonjun mumbled softly, breaking the silence between them. "Tell me one thing though..."

"...Your feelings for Beomgyu," He started off, unaware of how tensed Taehyun became. "Was that a lie as well?"

Taehyun stayed quiet and placed down his pencil, looking over at the window to ease his mind, his eyes slowly darted over towards Beomgyu who sat alone with his head stuffed in a notebook to probably distract him.

Looking over back at Yeonjun who was obviously avoiding eye contact, the male sighed softly.

"My feelings for him..." He said under his breath, making sure he wasn't too loud.

"My feelings for him were never a lie."

ʚ♡ɞ

"Beomgyu! Are you alright?"

The male slowly looked up from his desk and up at Seong-jin, Yoshino, and Miyuki who surrounded his desk with worried expressions. He should've known that someone would've said something about what had happened earlier with Yeonjun.

"I heard you and Choi Yeonjun got into a fight, is everything okay?" Seong-jin asked the male, his eyes filled with worry as he watched Beomgyu stand up.

The brunette smiled reassuringly, unsure if he was trying to comfort the others or himself, but either away, he shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm fine, what can I help you guys with?"

"We were gonna go to this new tteokbokki place that opened up, do you want to come with us?" Miyuki smiled brightly, which made the offer sound even better.

Beomgyu was a little hesitant for a second, but after what happened today, he really did need time to ease his mind from what had happened, and tteokbokki didn't sound so bad at all right now.

"Sure." He smiled gently, gathering his things.

"Oh! Beomgyu!" Seong-jin called out, causing the male to look over at him. "Just a quick question... did... Choi Yeonjun and Choi Soobin break up...?"

Beomgyu was a little taken aback by that sudden question, even though Soobin confirmed they didn't break up, he was certain people around them were curious as to why the two of them barely talked.

"Sorry, Seong-jin," Beomgyu smiled apologetically. "That's not my place to tell, but for now, I don't think so."

Seong-jin remained silent as Beomgyu walked over next to Miyuki, the two of them chatting about something before looking over at him to see if they were ready to go.

"You guys can leave," Seong-jin smiled bitterly. "I have to get something real quick."

The two of them nodded as they turned around and began to walk out of the classroom, and once Beomgyu was out of sight, Seong-jin's smile turned into a harsh scowl as he scoffed loudly.

"I still don't understand why you continue to keep him around if you don't like him." Yoshino muttered under her breath, her eyes rolling as Seong-jin became irritated.

"You think I want him around?" He scoffed in amusement, his eyebrows furrowing as he began to become pissed at the males answer. "I'm only keeping him around so I can get closer with Soobin, but that bitch barely talks to him!"

"You know you can't keep him around for long."

"Trust me, Yoshino," Seong-jin crossed his arms as he walked with her towards the door. "Once I'm done with him, he's tossed into the trash. He should be grateful we even let him hang out with us."

"He's been kind to you."

Seong-jin rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he laughed sarcastically. He fucking hated it, every single attempt to get closer with Soobin, Beomgyu would always avoid the blonde or give vague answers which didn't help him at all.

"His kindness..." Seong-jin sighed softly, the two of them walking into the hallway as he looked down it and saw Beomgyu smiling brightly. "It's annoying."

An amused smirk grew on his lips as he shook his head, hoping that eventually he would become closer with Soobin by using Beomgyu more.

"He really pisses me off."

ʚ♡ɞ