thirty || the end of a useless act

ʚ♡ɞ

The moment Taehyun went inside of the school, he wasted no time shaking his hair to somewhat dry it, wiping his face with his sleeves as he breathed into his hands to warm them up.

He was a bit paranoid, the school looked creepy as fuck when there wasn't any good lighting or students around, but it was somewhat calming too, not having to walk through a loud ass hallway full of dumbasses.

I just have to find Beomgyu then we can leave together. The male thought, walking up the stairs slowly to make sure he doesn't slip or anything.

Making his way to the top, he suddenly paused by the wall when he heard two voices down the hall, usually it would be hard to hear however the school was insanely quiet and echoey when there wasn't anyone there.

Slowly peeking his head out, his eyes widened seeing both Soobin and Beomgyu hugging each other, before he could process anything a loud sob echoed down the hall, stabbing Taehyun right through the heart.

Why is he crying? Did Soobin say something? Is he okay? I should go over there. Taehyun's anxiety began to spike, just hearing the sobs of his Beomgyu made him sick to the stomach, he hated how it wasn't him comforting the elder.

Taking a step forward, he suddenly paused when Beomgyu spoke up again, his words were a bit hard to hear but Taehyun focused a little more.

"I feel... the same... way." He heard Beomgyu say, causing him to tilt his head as he paused and stayed behind the wall, trying his best to hear what words the male was saying. "...with Taehyun."

His eyes begin to widen after hearing his name being said, the male began to become frustrated by how hard it was to hear the current conversation going on since Beomgyu's tone was soft. So sticking his head out a little more, he looked over at the two who stood in the middle of the hallway, which made him feel so uncomfortable.

"Taehyun...?" He heard Soobin gasp.

The next thing that Beomgyu said was barely audible, it made him want to just go out there to comfort the male and question what he felt towards him, but just before he could take a step, his heart shattered when he heard the next thing that came out of Beomgyu's mouth.

"... When I'm around him I start to feel miserable and anxious ..."

ʚ♡ɞ

Beomgyu was up for nearly half of the night, both anxious and upset that Taehyun hadn't answered his calls or messages at all since he arrived home.

He shouldn't be mad, right? Maybe he was just sleeping, but they both always fell asleep on call with each other every night so they could feel like they were in each others presence, so the male started to find it weird.

Taehyun didn't even answer his messages in the morning either, he was fine with being left on seen but being left on delivered just hurt. He wondered why the male hadn't answered him yet, he really hopes it wasn't anything bad.

"Beomgyu, why do you look so depressed?" Yeonjun popped up next to him suddenly, causing him to snap out of his thoughts.

"Hyung!" He gasped softly, placing his hand where his heart was after being startled. "I thought you'd be walking with Soobin today?"

"Yeah well," Yeonjun popped a few watermelon gummies into his mouth, offering the brunette some who politely declined. "He's sleeping in again, lame ass. If he wants to be late he can, I don't care."

"Out of everyone in the entire school you'd be the last person I'd expect complaining about someone being late when you're late yourself all of the time." Beomgyu snickered, causing Yeonjun to slap his arm
softly.

"Whatever, I'm only on time because Soobin becomes a little piss baby when I'm not there on time," Yeonjun said, rolling his eyes at his boyfriends childish behavior, but he loved him nonetheless. "It also gives me a good opportunity to see what Seong-shit does to him."

"Don't be mean," Beomgyu frowned, beginning to become tired of Yeonjun's constant complaining about Seong-jin. He never understood why the elder hated him so much, the male was nice to him all of the time but he did find it odd when he would try to ask about Soobin "Even if you don't like him, you don't have to be mean."

"What you said will definitely bite you in the ass one day." Yeonjun scoffed, finding his empathy stupid. "He isn't a good person, one day he'll piss you so much you'll just grab him by the hair or punch him—"

"I'll never do that to someone, even if they've done me wrong." Beomgyu stared at Yeonjun in disbelief, only to receive an annoyed huff from the elder.

"Mkay, whatever," Yeonjun brushed it off, trying to shake off how irritated he was becoming. "You never answered my question, why'd you look so upset and out of space earlier?"

Beomgyu's thoughts directed immediately back to Taehyun, becoming upset with everything once again. He honestly wish he knew the exact answer to that question, all he knew was that it was strange for the male to not answer his messages or calls... he had always answered.

"It's just Taehyun," Beomgyu ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. "He hasn't been answering any of my messages since yesterday.I-I mean, I shouldn't be bothered right? But he always answers me... it's just it's strange—"

"Calm down, maybe he's sleeping in or busy, dude seemed stressed out focusing on that... Crystal... crack... showcase thing."

"You don't understand," Beomgyu strained his voice, staring at Yeonjun with a distressed expression. "Despite everything he had always made time for me, I... I have a weird gut feeling."

"I think you just have attachment issues," Yeonjun snorted, yet it made Beomgyu just the slightest annoyed that the elder doesn't understand his feelings.

Okay, he doesn't even understand his feelings himself.

"I have a gut feeling!—"

"Well you should listen to your gut and go talk to Taehyun who's over there," Yeonjun interrupted him, causing the male to snap his head forward, he didn't even realize they were at the gates of the school.

Fortunately for him, Yeonjun was right, standing near the entrance of the school talking to a familiar Huening Kai was none other than Kang Taehyun himself, the person Beomgyu was dying to see and talk to after the whole night.

If he was here, then that means he didn't sleep in at all... so why wasn't he answering his messages...?

"I'll go over there and take Huening Kai with me to class," Yeonjun's voice brought him back to Earth. "You go ahead and talk to your boyfriend about why he's... lacking."

Beomgyu knew he didn't want to say that Taehyun was ignoring him, and in all honesty it made him feel better that he didn't say it.

"Thank you."

They both walked over towards Huening Kai and Taehyun who seemed oblivious that they were approaching them, coming closer and closer until they were standing behind Taehyun who didn't notice the confused expression that flashed across Huening's face.

"Huening, what's with the weird expression?—"

Before Taehyun could finish his sentence, Yeonjun had swung into action and walked past Taehyun, instantly hooking his arm around Huening Kai and dragged him away quite harshly, causing the male to scream in shock.

"Hey?! Hyung! Let me go! Taehyun- Taehyun HELP AHH—"

"Shut up!" Yeonjun slapped his hand over Huening Kai's mouth and dragged him inside of the school, causing the males desperate screams for his best friend to become more and more quiet.

Beomgyu and Taehyun stood there staring at the entrance of the school in shock, both not knowing what the fuck to say after witnessing something as stupid as that.

When Yeonjun said he was going to drag Huening Kai to class, he didn't expect him to actually drag him to class... poor Hyuka.

Beomgyu looked back over towards Taehyun who had his back facing him, an urge and desire to just grab onto him and spin him around washed over him, but he knew better than to do that.

"T-Taehyun," Beomgyu called out for him softly, noticing how the male flinched slightly when he spoke up. "Can we talk?"

There was hesitance in the pinkettes actions, as if he didn't want to listen to him at all, but after a little bit of silence the male turned around and nodded his head.

Beomgyu beamed with happiness knowing Taehyun was willing to talk to him. He knew that talking about what he wanted to say to him at the front of the school was a bad idea since students were coming in and out, so he looked around and saw a little spot near the gateway where they could talk.

"Let's move over there," Beomgyu pointed out the spot and turned back towards Taehyun who nodded his head, extending his hand so they could walk over together.

Taehyun glanced down at the males hand, his arm twitching slightly like he wanted to grab it, but to Beomgyu's surprise... instead of holding his hand, he walked away instead.

Beomgyu would be lying if he said that didn't sting his heart.

Looking over at Taehyun's figure, he tried his best not to frown as he followed shortly behind, a suffocating dread washing over him as he did... he shouldn't think too much about that action, right?

"What did you want to talk about?" Taehyun spoke up right away when they got to the spot, turning around to face Beomgyu but not exactly looking at him.

All the words Beomgyu wanted to say were caught in his throat when he noticed how tensed and hesitant Taehyun was, how his tone was on the edge of discomfort and sadness, how the male looked away from him and down at the ground, almost like he was refusing to look directly into his eyes.

"...I..." Beomgyu croaked out, he began to feel so weird about what was happening, like something in his gut told him that something wasn't right. "I sent you a few messages last night... and this morning... did you not see them?"

He knew he might've came off as clingy, but he honestly couldn't help it. He had gotten so used to their routine of messaging each other every morning, Taehyun would be the last person he would text and the first person to text in the mornings.

So it wasn't wrong to be just a little bit worried by the strange new behavior...?

"I did see your messages," Taehyun admitted truthfully, which would've made Beomgyu happy but instead it made him feel so much worse about the situation.

"A-And you didn't answer... or even...looked at any of them...?" Beomgyu's voice began to tremble, he doesn't want to feel betrayed... he felt like he would be overdramatic if he did, but he couldn't help but feel so upset. "...Did something happen?"

Taehyun opened his mouth to say something but shortly stopped himself, guilt flashed over his eyes as he looked away, still refusing to make eye contact with Beomgyu who desperately wished that he would look at him.

"Nothing happened it's just..." Taehyun gritted his teeth, his eyebrows furrowing in discomfort. "I... just... didn't want to answer you."

Those words struck Beomgyu harshly. It was like they were slowly going back to stage one where they were both cold to each other, where Beomgyu was kept outside of Taehyun's wall.

"Did I do something?" Beomgyu breathed out, panic began to build up in his tone when he asked that. "I-I didn't do anything right?"

"Beomgyu..."

"If I did, I'm really sorry, I-I don't want you to be mad at me—"

"Beomgyu hyung!"

"Taehyun I'm so—"

Taehyun grabbed onto Beomgyu's wrist and pulled him close, hugging the elder tightly as Beomgyu immediately melted into the males embrace, holding back a quiet sob when he did.

"I'm sorry, I...I..."

The two of them stood there in each others embrace for a few more seconds before Beomgyu had to pull away when he heard the bell ring that class would start in ten minutes, wiping his eyes he looked over at Taehyun and expected the male to be happy... but instead, his heart dropped when he saw how upset and disappointed Taehyun looked.

"Is everything okay...?"

Taehyun's eyes flickered up at Beomgyu for a split second, as if he were thinking hard about something. The male seemed anxious about it, as if he was hesitant to even say anything.

"Beomgyu hyung..." Taehyun slowly slipped his hand out of Beomgyu's hold, their fingers brushing against each other which didn't spark that same butterfly feeling in him, only anxiety.

"Don't you..." Taehyun pushed, looking down so he wouldn't see his reaction.

The male took a step back, causing Beomgyu to freeze in place when he saw how distant he became in just a split second, he looked over his face and tried to find any other emotions other than sadness.

After staying silent for a few more minutes, Taehyun sighed shakily... looking up at Beomgyu with a blank expression.

"Don't you think it's time we end this act, Beomgyu?"

ʚ♡ɞ

"Kang? Why are you sitting in Changbin's spot?" Yeonjun approached his desk after leaving the classroom to get a snack with Soobin, completely taken aback when he came back to Taehyun sitting in his desk partners seat.

"This was my original seat," Taehyun muttered under his breath, obvious that his mood today was down in the gutter. "So don't complain."

Yeonjun squinted his eyes towards Taehyun before looking over at Beomgyu who was staring obliviously out of the window before bringing back his attention towards the pink head.

"But you switched seats to sit next to Beomgyu?" Yeonjun titled his head in confusion with the sudden change, ignoring how Soobin suddenly appeared out no where next to him. "So why change now?"

"Hi Taehyun," Soobin smiled brightly, completely unaware of what was going on. He expected a nice greeting back but instead his expectations were shut down when Taehyun had given him an angry scowl, causing him to flinch slightly.

"So are you not going to answer my question?" Yeonjun crossed his arms, becoming irritated with Taehyun's attitude.

The pinkette groaned loudly, gently placing down his pencil as he looked up at Yeonjun with a frown before looking down in shame.

"Because we broke up."

.   .   .

"WHAAAAAT?!" Yeonjun screeched loudly, slamming his hand on the desks as he stared at Taehyun with the most shocked expression ever. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AND BEOMGYU BROKE UP?!"

Now, only Yeonjun and Soobin heard what Taehyun said, both equally shocked at the sudden news. But now Yeonjun had to open his mouth and scream out his exact sentence which made the class instantly go silent and stare at them in shock, half of them staring at Taehyun as the other half stared at Beomgyu who was sinking into his seat in embarrassment.

Did he really have to scream it?! Beomgyu covered his face as he tried to practically melt in his seat in embarrassment knowing all eyes were on him now. I didn't think he'd overreact this much.

"Oh is that why I'm sitting here?" Changbin wondered out loud. "That's why Kang Taehyun kicked me out of my seat."

kill me now. Beomgyu groaned loudly, smushing his face more into his hands so he could suffocate himself away from the embarrassment.

I should've seen it coming, I mean, it was all an act anyway...

but I feel so disappointed... Beomgyu removed his hands from his face, ignoring the crowd of people circling his desk to know what happened.

The male closed his eyes desperately, wishing that the earlier events that happened never did happen.

-

"Don't you think it's time we end this act, Beomgyu?"

Beomgyu stood there frozen in shock after hearing that, his breathing paused as the world seemed to stop. The painful dread rising him him, stinging his heart and stomach as he stared at Taehyun.

He tried so desperately to see any signs of regret or guilt after saying that, but to his unfortunate luck, Taehyun seemed to not regret saying it at all.

"W-What...?" Beomgyu's voice cracked softly when he finally decided to speak. "What do you mean...?"

"I think we should end this act, our... fake relationship." Taehyun kept his voice at a stern level, emphasizing the word 'fake' to show how done he was. "There's no point to keep it up right?"

"After all, It's not like we were actually dating."

Beomgyu stood there silently, staring at Taehyun with the most pained expression ever, but he knew he was right... They weren't even dating in the first place, so why was he trying so desperately hard to maintain and keep what they had going? Was it because he was afraid that if everything ended... they would... go back to what they were? Strangers?

But... he wanted to object to everything, he didn't want to lose him.

but he knew better than that.

"It's just..." Taehyun spoke up with a weak sigh. "It's been long enough to where your best friend is convinced now, no? Soobin and Yeonjun are dating, just like you wanted. So if we keep this up any longer then..."

Taehyun bit the bottom  of his lip, a frown growing on his face. "It'll just be hard for us to find the right time to... break up."

Beomgyu swallowed up the lump in his throat, he felt so sick... all he wanted to do was run away and isolate himself, but he knew this was better than to drag something so... fake on.

"Alright!" Beomgyu forced a smile, beaming so brightly that it was so obvious he was faking his happiness. "You only did this to help me out anyway, O really do appreciate it a lot."

Taehyun stared at the male before slowly nodding, after a few seconds Taehyun began to walk away before Beomgyu grabbed his wrist unconsciously.

"...uh..." Beomgyu's breath hitched when he realized what he had just done, slowly releasing his hold on Taehyun's wrist, he looked up at the male who seemed to be waiting for him to say something. "I..."

He wanted to tell Taehyun to stay, just confess on the spot and tell him that he had fallen for him.

but in the end, he couldn't.

"Thank you for everything." He mumbled, smiling bitterly.

-

Beomgyu snapped himself back into reality, groaning loudly as he slammed his face into his desk, practically beating himself up for remembering that moment he oh so wanted to forget.

It must be my punishment, huh? He laughed bitterly to himself, ignoring how Changbin worriedly asked if he was okay and how the crowd around him panicked slightly. Saved one relationship yet lost one, I guess this is what I get for lying for so long.

Beomgyu really really freaked it, all of it actually. He just wanted to take all of the emotions he felt and throw them out the window, the urge to just build up his perfectionist persona to block out all the pain he felt was so overwhelming, but he knew better than to do that.

He knew Soobin's assumptions about Taehyun liking him back were a fifty fifty, but he couldn't help but hold onto that faint string of hope of believing that Taehyun actually did like him back?

He had gotten excited for nothing, actually believing that Taehyun liked him back? What a joke, maybe all of those small actions the male did were just actions to convince others to believe that they were really in love, which was useless now.

He hated this, really really hated this.

He started to feel so anxious about it, what could this mean now? Did this mean that the two of them were now back to how they were before this whole fiasco? Will they really have to forge all of those fond memories that Beomgyu was desperately trying to cling onto?

The male slowly looked over his shoulder and saw Yeonjun interrogating the pinkette who seemed unfazed by what he said at all, it made him so upset.

Was he the only one who cared...?

Nibbling on the bottom of his lip anxiously, Beomgyu turned his head back around and looked up at the few students who were standing in front of his desk, asking him what had happened and if he was okay.

"I'm fine," Beomgyu smiled brightly, "Don't worry! We're still... great... friends."

He really did wish they were friends still, but now it all seemed useless.

If he was honest with himself...

... he wasn't fine at all.

ʚ♡ɞ

click!

Beomgyu closed the door softly, kicking off his shoes and lined them up neatly on the shoe rack before turning  around, noticing his mother sitting on the couch quietly watching some drama called 'My Demon' or something, he didn't really pay attention.

He was tired, exhausted, and heartbroken. Throughout the whole day he was just bombarded with questions about his relationship, it finally made him realize how nosy some strangers are.

Sighing weakly, the male practically dragged himself over towards the stairs, ready to just fucking sleep for the entire night.

"Are... you okay... Beom...?"

Beomgyu's head perked up instantly after hearing his mothers soft voice from the living room, immediately looking over in her direction, he noticed how she didn't look at him at all and kept her eyes on the TV.

It was most likely because she was still... guilty, about how she treated her one and only son.

"I'm..." Even though he knew it was good to talk about his feelings to someone, he couldn't bring himself to talk to his mother at all. The past restrictions that kept biting at him held him back from communicating with her, which was understandable. "I'm okay."

He took a step up the stairs, expecting her to not say anything else, until she had opened her mouth again.

"...if you... want to talk about it..." His mothers voice was full of hesitation. "I... I'm here for you."

Beomgyu glanced over at his mother and smiled fondly even if she couldn't see it, at least she was trying to improve. They had started talking bit by bot after the fight and he really did notice how she was trying to not be so controlling anymore.

"Thanks, mother." He said briefly before going upstairs to his room.

The moment he entered his room, the male shut the door and practically threw his backpack across the floor, ignoring how he could've damaged the stuff inside of it.

He wanted to be alone, but he didn't want to at the same time.

All of the events that happened in just a short time began to eat at him as he shakily made his way towards his bed, falling onto it before breaking into a loud sob.

All of the feelings and emotions he held back for the entire day finally broke loose, causing him to immediately lose his breathing as tears began to run down his face, staining the pillow underneath him.

I really thought I had a chance.

I thought he liked me.

I'm a fool for clinging so desperately on something that wasn't real.

The male sat up from his bed and hiccuped loudly, choking out another sob as he tried to stop the tears from rolling down his eyes, after weeks and weeks of bonding with the male, it all fell down the drain.

The worst part was that he wasn't mad at Taehyun, not even one bit. He was mad at himself for letting it all slip away and out of his hands.

The male looked over to the side and frowned softly, seeing the beautiful painting of the gardenia next to his bed.

It pained his heart even more knowing now he might not get to see anymore of Taehyun's enchanting artwork anymore.

Beomgyu leaned back into his bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, allowing those bitter tears to run down his face as he was now too weak to wipe them away.

If he knew falling in love would be this bitter and heartbreaking.

Maybe he shouldn't have fallen in the first place.

It really did hurt, it pained him that he had potentially lost Taehyun, but he knew he couldn't give up now. It was so sudden, just the day before everything was fine between them, so that definitely means something had to happen?

A newfound comforting emotion washed over him as he tried thinking about the brighter side, maybe he didn't lose Taehyun, not just yet.

Don't worry Tyun, Beomgyu closed his eyes and grabbed onto the plush he had gotten him gently.

I won't give up on you just yet.

ʚ♡ɞ