Phillip

⚠️⚠️⚠️

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS IS A MATURE CHAPTER. 

⚠️⚠️⚠️

The windows of our duplex are dark. Unlike my New York apartment where I can control every light and power outlet in my house from my phone, the duplex requires me to actually remember to turn on the lights. The tight cabin of the car is both comforting and claustrophobic, but I'd stay here for longer if that means staying with Nata. I park the car in front of my garage and walk around the hood to open Nata's car door.

"Your place or mine?" I don't remember the last time we haven't spent the entire evening together. And even though it's almost eleven, I'm not ready for the evening to end.

"Mine. I need to take the dress off before I ruin it." Nata steps out of the car and walks past me to her side of the duplex. I follow suit. She punches the code into the lock and opens the door. "Should we make dinner? Are you hungry?"

The red straps on her dress over her bare back have been teasing me the entire evening. How can thin lines across her skin make my temperature rise so many degrees? Too many.

The desire to hold her, to kiss her, to remove the dress and forget the problems that I don't know how to solve by doing what I know I do well. Doing something that would make us both feel good. Guaranteed. The ever-increasing ache that has invaded my heart bit by bit over the last months is not lust. But there are plenty of places in my body where lust for this woman has taken a permanent residency.

I close the door behind me and lean against the wooden panels, staying away from my temptation. "The thing I'm hungry for is not food."

"Oh." She bends to unclasp the sandals.

The red silky material hugs her in an almost obscene way and the semi-hardness I struggled to suppress all evening ignores my pleas for civility. I'm as hard as when I was getting my first erections as a teen, and I seem to have about the same amount of self-control.

She steps out one foot and fumbles with the other clasp. "Coffee?" she says, out of breath like she just came back from one of her runs, not simply took her show off. Nata glances at me from below. "Or what did you have in mind?"

With a sigh, I touch her hips and tug her into me. "This isn't the position I had in mind, but I can be flexible."

She tugs on her bun and a black curtain of her hair spills over her shoulder and touches the floor, hiding her profile from me. "You were having...position in mind for us?"

She steps out of her other shoe.

How do I explain what she makes me feel?

Yes, lust, but also so much more than that. My head hurts from the inability to tell her what I already know, but what I'm not sure she's ready to hear. I don't want to scare her off. I want to bare my heart, but instead I go the route I know how to navigate. I let her feel exactly how hard I am and focus on the physical part she can't deny. "I want to touch you every time you're around. I have heard none of the music tonight. My gaze was glued to you, not the stage, imagining all the ways I could..." I trail my thumb over her vertebrae and stop at the lowest one. "But I wasn't sure if you were ready. With the mis—"

"I'm ready." She straightens. Her back is against my chest. The sheet of her hair falls between us and her naked shoulders with those torturous straps taunt me. "I'm ready, Phillip." Her voice trembles over the syllables of my name.

I kiss the rounded slope of her neck. "What are you ready for?" My fingers slide down to the long slit in her dress.

"I'm ready to have sex with you." This time her words are clear and sure.

"Just sex?" I should be happy but I want something else.

"Phillip." This rendition of my name is a reproach.

Sadness dampens my desire. I want more than sex. I want to kiss, to have and to hold, and to know her. To know that she's with me fully and completely and not only because of a contract. My pulse woofs in my ears. I turn Nata in my arms.

"Just sex or more?" My question sound is torn from my mind without permission.

"More." Her word is a whisper but I would've heard it even if we were feet apart.

"Good girl."

Nata arches into me, her eyes closed, cheeks flushed, breaths stuttering.

The desire I've been battling is free. I'm free to explore all of her. My lips are ahead of me, painting a fiery path on her skin from the red straps to the clavicle.

"Tell me to stop." I follow up her neck.

"Tell me you don't want me to kiss you." Below her ear.

"Tell me this is as clear-cut and logical for you as it was supposed to be." On her cheekbone.

"Tell me you don't dream about finding out what the feel of our lips pressed together is like." On the corner of her mouth.

"Tell me no." On the cupid bow above her lips.

"Tell me to stop, because I will listen, no matter how much I want to kiss you." My lips hover over hers.

"Tell me I'm wrong." I put my forehead on hers. The sledgehammer in my chest hits with every beat of my heart. "Put me out of my misery."

She opens her eyes and mouths something that looks like, "Kiss me."

"Kiss you?" I ask as the desire in her face, now evident and hot. It reassures me she is ready to go all the way this time. Body, mind, heart, and soul. But I need her mouth to firmly tell me so. "Tell me you want me to kiss you."

Her chin lifts higher.

"Just kiss me already," she says it with capitulation in her raspy voice, with hurt pride in her dark eyes, but also with want. With absolute certainty. She wants me just as much as I want her.

"Your wish is my command." I let myself one last playful tease, because once I begin this, my brain will have a singular focus: making Nata forget the deal and to wring every drop of ecstasy out of her, so her body trembles and shakes in the aftershocks.

This is no longer a clinical transaction. No longer sex for the procreation purposes. Today it's pure pleasure. Yes. It's lust. Absolutely. But it's also unadulterated want to be with the other personas completely as possible. It's craving every touch, every thought, every step in this life going forward. I will prove to her that plan or not, I am the partner she was meant to be with.

Her throat bobs as she swallows, waiting for my move.

Our heavy breaths fight against each other. Our gazes wage another battle. "I'm going to make you feel so good, you will never want to stop."

"Don't stop."

My skin is on fire, and her mouth is the nuclear explosion start button. 'Go slow, be sensual and use all my tricks,' my brain shouts at me from afar. I gently but firmly grab her chin. Her brief audible inhale breaks my restraint and like a complete newbie who's never kissed anyone, I simply press my lips to hers.

The universe contracts to just the point where we touch.

The softness I anticipated is there, but how are her lips hotter than mine? I open my mouth the tiniest bit and she mimics my movement like she's my mirror. Our breaths no longer fight, they mingle and rob us of oxygen. I run my tongue against her bottom lip, absorbing her texture, exploring her flavor, tasting the forbidden fruit.

Her tongue meets mine. The current that's been running between us for months shocks us into action. My mouth closes over hers, her tongue invades mine, the kiss goes from zero to speed of light within seconds.

We moan and grind and grab and tangle in each other. Zero control. A thousand percent frenzy.

This is supposed to be about her. I never lose control or take pleasure until my partner is satisfied, but I have never had to control a tsunami. The nature of this thing between us is uncontrollable. I press the length of my body against hers, as her hands roam my hair with an equally furious intensity. She grinds against my already hard cock. I see stars. Before our deal I used to jerk off before I had sex every time just to avoid this feeling that I'm not in charge of myself any longer. I should have done it today. Multiple times.

I trace her neck with my tongue, as my fingers slide her underwear low enough for her to step out of it. Who am I lying to? I have never met someone I wanted quite like this. My fingers dip inside her and the wet tightness promises to make me forget all my thoughts. She squeezes me as I pump my fingers the way I now know she likes while my lips finally get to reap the benefits of my labor as they savor her moans and gasps and her silences when the pressure I know is mounting inside her climbs higher.

She crushes into me, lips soft yet bruising. I kiss her mouth like I am going to make a mold of it from memory, like I want the imprints of it seared into mine permanently, like I will not survive if I don't kiss her more.

Her climax ripples around my hand as her body jerks against mine and her teeth bite into my lower lip. Nothing we do benefits our contract as our feelings rule. She takes my fingers out and brings them up. I don't want to let go of her lips, but I want to taste all of her. We lick her cum off my fingers, our tongues dipping in and out and the salty flavor makes me harder even though I was certain I was at a million percent before. I press into Nata. Her other hand finds my length and strokes me through the pants. If I had any illusions about how fast I will blow, they evaporate as soon she finds a way under my waistband and touches the tip of my already wet head.

I groan into Nata's mouth as her fingers unbutton and unzip. Her palm is fully inside my boxers now, hand wrapped around the shaft. "Fuck," I say as her mouth leaves mine.

"Turn," she commands and pushes my shoulders, so I am the one against the wall of the hallway. I need the support, because her pumps are too much. She needs to slow down.

She doesn't.

There isn't anything slow about us but she does slide down. My pants are pooled around my ankles and my boxers down just enough to expose me to her greedy hands. The sight of her leveling her mouth to my cock is painful with anticipation. She does the same thing she did with my tongue, swirling gently around me, teasing the sensitive flesh that is straining to remain still. Her tongue gives the underside of my shaft one long hard lick and her mouth closes around my head, as her hand continues to pump me.

Nothing she does is new yet everything she does is new. The intensity blinds me and I close my eyes as I experience every millisecond of her mouth sucking me. No potential future children will come out of this if she continues. She's doing it for me and for her and that thought snaps any remaining doubts. I pop out of her mouth.

I'm done waiting.

I want her mouth back on mine. "Come here." I pull her up, and lick into her mouth. Nata's mouth that tastes like my undoing, her flavor and mine mixed perfectly.

"I need you to come too." She returns her hand to my cock.

I'm not going to disagree. As our lips resume their dance, I set my hand on top of hers and guide her into the final strokes that will make me come. I want her to experience my coming gasp on her lips like I did hers. As my body jerks, Nata drinks in my cries and smiles against my lips.

Our lips are no longer strangers, no longer just negotiators, no longer forbidden.

Nata's body leans on mine. Her ear rests on my heaving chest. I smile into her hair, taking in the sight of us partially undressed, sticky, propped against the wall five feet away from the door. The red lines of her straps are still on her back. Her underwear on top of her shoes on the floor. Nothing glamorous or camera-ready about how we look, and I love that. I love how much I am myself around Nata even in the high performance sport of sex.

"You're a good kisser," she says into my shirt.

Laughter rumbles through me. "Just good?"

"Here you go fishing for compliments."

"You're the best kisser I've ever met, Nata Boyko."

She playfully hits me with her palms on my shoulder. "Stop it. No lies, remember, even if they are post-sex exaggerations."

"Hey." I turn her face up, so she can see my seriousness. "You are the best kisser I have met. No lies. No exaggerations. Trust me." I plant a lightest smooch on her grinning mouth.

"Fine. I'll trust you on this one thing."

One goal accomplished. My heart does a contented somersault in my chest. Now I need her to trust me on every thing.

Author's Note

3.28.24

THEY KISSED!! How are we feeling about it? Was the wait worth it?

Writing sex scenes is still rather a process for me, and I'm never sure if I've gone too far or not far enough. Tell me how this was for you.

NOTE: if you read Chapter 15 BEFORE 3.28.24, you might want to go and read the top part, I just added it. I lost a chapter and had to rewrite it, and forgot a piece, that is important for the next chapter. 

I'm on spring break with my kids next week, so I MIGHT not post, if we are having all the fun. But if I have time as we are driving, to edit, then I will still post. 

Happy Easter to those who celebrate.

NATA AND PHILLIP KISSED!!! Just had to put it here. Who else is excited? 😍

Love,

GR