Phillip

Did she just say 'we need to talk'? That never leads to anything good. I reach to take her hand, but she puts it behind her and eyes the empty hallway suspiciously.

"Not here." The steel in her voice scares me further.

I reach for her hand again. "Follow me."

"Just go." She sounds angry. "I can walk on my own just fine."

What happened in that bathroom changed the almost giggling Nata who ran up the stairs with me into this version. "Are you okay?" I lower my head to catch her eye.

Nata purposefully stares at her feet. "Go." Her voice is sharp. "Please." She softens her tone.

Bringing her upstairs was only partially to show her the toilet my dates previously ahhed and oohed about. I also wanted to show her what she's missing by insisting we live in the duplex. That she could be living here with all the conveniences that money can buy at her fingertips. If she falls in love with this house, maybe she'll see why I want to propose we move in here, convert one of the bedrooms into a nursery. I'll be here for Dad, keep an eye on him better. Dad would be ecstatic living under the same roof with the baby. We can have a room for a live-in nanny. Nata can pick any room with an on-suit for her bedroom, and I'll stay in mine. Maybe if she sees my bedroom, she'll see we can stay in it together.

"This is my bedroom." I step inside and turn on the light. Mine is not the most child-friendly room, with light beige covers, white leather couch, and white rug under the glass coffee table, but our decorator can take care of that and add childproofing as well.

Nata stares at my bedroom, but I'm not sure she's seeing it.

I sit on the couch and pat the spot next to me for Nata to join. "What happened?" Did she get a call from work? Is something wrong with her parents? "What's going on?"

The look on her face is as if I asked her to walk on hot coals. She swallows, opens her mouth, and closes it again. Her arms wrap around her, and she takes a long shuddering breath. She lifts her head. Her eyes glisten with tears.

What the fuck happened in that bathroom?

My legs carry me to her, and I wrap her into my arms, hoping against hope that the little thought that entered my mind, the tiny, awful thought that showed its face, is wrong.

Nata hangs in my embrace like a rag roll, her face creating wet patches on my shirt. "I failed." Her words underline the thought that is now glaring in my head.

No.

This is about something else.

I ignore my heart ratcheting against my ribcage and squeeze her closer into me, as if that can prevent reality from creeping into my happy world. Today went so well. Everything was falling into place. Nata by my side. Dad. Even Mrs. Buckingham. And the baby.

"I got my period," Nata mumbles into my chest.

A hot spike skewers my heart, and I shudder. I knew it before she said the words. The thoughts were correct. I grind my teeth, and the tears stay inside my throat. She can cry. I don't get that option. I bury my cheek in her hair and stroke her back as I slowly return to the couch and attempt to sit her on my lap.

She balks. "No. The blood. I need a pad; I'll ruin your clothes."

"Fuck the clothes." I tug her, and she collapses, all fight gone. "I can redecorate this entire house if you'd like. Who cares about clothes when you are hurting."

"I'm a mess. I thought we did it. Now the...I...what do we do?" She curls into a ball against me, fitting perfectly between my lap and my chin.

"We grieve," I say into the back of her neck.

Her sobs roll through my chest, and I'd love to join her, but I'm not going to. I'm here to support her. Even though my own heart is ripping apart, I hold Nata and shield her from the world that did not deliver.

"I'm sorry." She cries and wraps her hands around my neck. "I'm sorry I failed."

I cup her face between my palms and tilt it up to meet my gaze. "Stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong. You can apologize if you step on my foot. This is not your fault. This is no one's fault. However mean this might sound to you, this is part of the process. You did not fail. You're amazing, you did everything right, and I don't want you to ever apologize for things that are out of your control."

"Why are you so nice to me?" Nata's gaze is glued to mine, like she's a lie detector and I better tell her the truth.

Truth it is.

I brush her tears away with my thumbs.

'I like you' doesn't sound true anymore. The feeling that burns inside my chest whenever I'm around her, when I think about her, when I touch her is very different from 'like.' 'Because I lust after you' doesn't sound complete either. I've been with enough women to know that lust is a temporary thing I cannot rely upon. Letting it guide my life and my decisions was a dumb mistake I made in my youth with loads of consequences. I did learn, and if what I feel for Nata were just lust, I could step away. 'Because we have a deal' is a cop out, I can't even force myself to say.

Her red-rimmed eyes don't let go of me.

"Why?" she whispers in a hoarse voice.

"How can I not be?" I say. "We are partners. We're in it for a long haul. Through thick and thin. Though good times and bad."

She sniffles. "That sounded an awful lot like a wedding vow. For better or worse. In sickness and in health." She drops her gaze and extricates her face from the hold of my palms. Is she trying to joke? "That was not part of our deal." A corner of her mouth curves up. She's making fun of me, right?

"Should I add marriage into the deal?" I wipe the pad of my index finger under her eye.

"Apparently, I'm not a traditional person. I want my baby first." She sucks her bottom lip in and sadness clouds her face again.

"I can help with that as well. We can restart as soon as you're in your ovulation window. Unless you want to take a break this month."

"No breaks." Her competitive streak shows in how quickly she replies. "I'm fine. At least I think I am. I'll have to cancel the doctor's appointment."

"We can always call Dr. Lutz, our family doctor. He's on a retainer and will answer any questions you might have."

"Can we?" The tiniest light returns into her eyes.

"Hang on." I hold on to her and lift my butt to take my cellphone out of the back pocket of my jeans.

Nata notices my movement and straightens her legs. "I can get off you-"

"Stay where you are." I keep her pinned to me with one hand and push the button to connect me with Dr. Lutz with the other.

He picks up after three rings. "Mr. Van der Heuvel. Everything okay?" I don't usually call him out of the blue unless it's an emergency. "I'm heading to my next appointment in five, but if your father needs me, I can cancel."

"This is not about my father. This is about-" I search for the words. "My partner started on her period today after we had a positive pregnancy test result yesterday. Do we need to do anything? ER? Schedule an OBGYN visit?" My question hangs in the air as Nata and I watch the phone with bated breaths.

"So sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how upsetting this must be for the two of you." I huff. Upsetting is such an understatement, but I can't be angry at Dr. Lutz for this. I take a deep breath and say, "It is. Very."

Nata keeps troubling her bottom lip, and the sight of the tender skin there nibbled into raw patches wakes up a desire to stop this trying to get pregnant process and not torture her anymore. Which makes no sense, because a child is what she wants. And we barely tried. I can't let my over-protectiveness rob her of what she wants.

"This is called a chemical pregnancy." Dr. Lutz's explanation enters my brain. "About one in four early pregnancies end this way. There's absolutely nothing alarming about it and it does not decrease your chances to conceive. You should contact her OBGYN, but most likely course of action is to start trying again when you're ready."

My shoulders feel lighter when he says close to the same thing I told Nata and that I'm sure she knows herself. Hearing it from him somehow makes it truer.

"Thank you." I hang up and suck in a breath. She'll be fine. She has to be fine.

I put the phone away and ease Nata from her upright and alert position on my lap to a more horizontal one, assuring she can relax back into me. She complies without voicing any protest. I gather her body against mine and hold her, letting the silence around us grow.

"We are fine." I voice the mantra that's starting its beats in my temples.

"We are fine?" Nata repeats but in her mouth the sentence sounds like a question.

"We are fine, Nata." I shift and lie back on the couch, not letting her go. "We are."

"We are," she says back.

I close my eyes and exhale. I calm myself and send my calm into Nata, giving my strength and the power of my belief. We are fine. This is just part of our journey, and I'll hold her through it no matter what.

I'm in. I'm so in with this woman, I'm no longer afraid to admit it to myself. I want a child with her, but I want so much more. I want her to feel comfortable in my arms any time she has something awful or great to share. I want to be her best friend. I want to be the best damn lover she's ever had. I want to be the father of her children. I want to be hers body, mind, and soul. And I want her to be mine. My heat races and sends my head into the thinking mode.

This is a new beginning for us. A better beginning.

We'll get through this together, and then I'll start the most important sales pitch of my life.

I'll be pitching Phillip Van der Heuvel as someone Nata can love.

And my powers of persuasion better deliver.

7.1.23

Author's Note

Welcome to SEASON 2 of Nata and Phillip's story. I have a lot in store for them as well as a happy ending. I plan to finish the entire romance for these two in this installemnet. I will also be posting 1-2 chapters a month of Love Words, that I had on hold while I was finishing Season 1.

I will be off the first week of July, but I'll be back the week of July 10th with more chapters.

I'll continue to aim for Fridays as my update days.

Things to look forward to in this season:

- Nata and Phillip's first real kiss

- more sex scenes, because we all know those are happening again

- drama with parents

- drama with work

- Samson, of course, will make a repeat appearance

- more happy lovey-dovey chapters

- more tear-jerker chapters

- a happy ending.

Remember to add this story to your reading list to get the updates.

And as always, thank you for commenting and voting. You are the best!

Love,

GR