Dearest Molly,

Since we were almost caught out in the orchard, we have had to steal small moments together where we can. There are few places we can go in the house and on the grounds where we are unlikely to encounter anyone else. We need somewhere private, somewhere no one goes, but we cannot think of one.

It is impossible for us to really connect when we can only have small, fleeting moments with one another. I want to learn more about him and his life and to share my thoughts and feelings with him, but we barely have the time to do so. Perhaps that is how most marriages are formed, but I want something more than that.

I want to get to know the person I am falling in love with. I want to know their hearts desires and their dreams, to know how they think and what they feel. Most of all, I want to feel something for them. How can someone marry a person they have no feelings for? I'm more than certain that is what happened to my parents. Mother and Father hardly speak anymore and I do not want to end up like them.

My marriage won't be a miserable one like my parents. It will be one of equal partnership, or love and adoration for the other person no matter what. How anyone can stand a loveless marriage is a mystery to me, but I suppose it must work for some people. My parents, despite talking to each other very little, seem rather content in their lives.

Still, if I want a marriage or a relationship that is founded on love, I need to get to know my potential beau. That is near impossible when we cannot talk to each other for more than a few, fleeting minutes.

I know every inch of our house, every nook and cranny, every secret it might possess, and yet I cannot think of a single place for us to meet where we would be unnoticed by the staff and my family. We can hardly meet under the loose floorboard in my bedroom where I keep this journal hidden.

Molly, I don't know what to do.

We must find a place for the two of us to meet unnoticed.

We just must.

Until next time.

Love, Catherine.

~~~

First Published - February 10th, 2022