Dearest Molly,

Despite my plans, we have rarely seen each other. He did not attend our planned meeting the other day and I fear I may have ruined things for good.

I do not understand how I am supposed to fix things when he refuses to even look at me let alone meet as planned. Although I know we cannot make it obvious around the house, I thought he may at least look at me when I took a stroll around the grounds with Abigail, but he ignored me entirely. Maybe I really have ruined everything for us.

There is no answer in any novel I might have read as they all seem to solve their problems through conversation, but we cannot talk so openly with one another. Perhaps I should write him a letter. Mother always said that my penmanship and written skills were exemplary and I know it shall be easier to explain myself in writing than I could ever explain with my words.

At least that way he will know that I intend to fix things and am generally sorry for my actions the other day. It is the only way I can think of that will genuinely show him how I feel and what I am willing to do in order to rekindle what we had. I would hate to think that I was the one responsible for our love falling apart.

If I write the letter, I may be able to ask another servant to deliver it to him so as to avoid being caught. Or, I could slip it into the post and no one would be any the wiser to it having passed by my hand. It is such a convoluted way to explain myself, but I can think of nothing else when I cannot get him alone long enough for us to speak.

I shall have to write the letter this instant.

Until next time.

Love, Catherine.

~~~

First Published - February 20th, 2022