I only read the first entry before I realised just what I had in my hands.

When Mary summoned me for luncheon, I hastily shoved the journal back into the chimney breast and replaced the brick in the hopes that it would stay hidden. I knew I shouldn't have opened it and read it, but curiosity had taken hold of me and refused to let go until I at least had a nose at its contents. Someone didn't go to the effort to hide a journal in a chimney breast unless they had something to hide and it seemed that Lady Catherine was no exception.

It was obvious that no one knew the journal existed — not even Lord Richardson — or it would have been moved from its hiding place when Lady Catherine died just over a year previously. No one had touched the chimney breast in that time so it made sense for the loose brick to stay hidden for as long as it had, but why had it been put there? Lady Catherine had secrets, that much was clear, but the chimney breast in the attic was an unusual place to hide something, especially for a Lady.

"How are you getting on?" Mary asked, dropping into the chair next to me and grabbing a cucumber sandwich.

"It's dusty."

Mary laughed. "Nothing beats you for your description, Jane. Find anything interesting?"

"Not really. Christmas decorations, spare chairs. I think I found something that belonged to Lady Catherine too."

"Really?" Mary frowned, the sandwich hanging inches away from her lips. "What was it?"

"An old doll," I lied.

"I thought all of her things went to Lady Abigail. Perhaps you should bring it down. We could clean it up and then give it to her."

"Good idea." I wiped my hands on my apron. "What was Lady Catherine like? I hadn't been here very long before she died."

Mary smiled, as though a fond memory had appeared before her, and she placed the sandwich onto the plate. She had worked for the Richardson's a year before I arrived and knew the family better than me, especially Lady Catherine. I had little interaction with Lady Catherine before she died, a freak accident three months after I arrived. If anyone was likely to know why Lady Catherine hid the journal in the attic, it would be Mary.

"Lady Catherine was the only one who treated us as human beings. She never barked orders, never expected too much, and even offered to help on one or two occasions. Molly one told me that Lady Catherine wanted more out of life. She knew Lord Richardson wanted her to marry some aristocrat from London and uphold the family bloodline, but she wanted more than that."

"Did she have a beau?"

Mary shook her head. "Not as far as I know. There were a few suitors, but she didn't appear all that taken with them. You'd be better off writing to Molly if you want to know more, have the address of her new placement somewhere upstairs."

"That would be great."

"Come on girls, back to it. The house won't clean itself," Miss Ryan said, appearing in the doorway with a bucket resting on her hip.

"I wish it would," Mary muttered.

She grabbed a fresh sandwich from the plate and stuffed it into her mouth, following Miss Ryan from the room and back to the garden. I sighed and left the servants hall, heading up the back staircase to the uppermost landing. The attic looked the same as it had when Mary had come up, but now I knew the secret that it held just behind a loose brick.

I tried to push the journal out of my mind, to focus instead on the task at hand which included trying to find a doll that I could show Mary. All I could think about was that journal tucked away only a short distance away from me. I had never been one to find out other people's secrets, but there was something different about that journal. Lady Catherine could have kept it tucked away in her own room, knowing that we servants wouldn't read it, but she went out of her way to keep it hidden.

There had to be something, other than a declaration of apparent love, hidden in those pages that she didn't want anyone else to know about. Lady Catherine may not have been a conventional Lady, but going to the attic to hide something appeared a little extreme even for her. I didn't think that brick would have come loose by itself and I couldn't help but wonder whether Lady Catherine had moved the brick just to hide the journal in the chimney breast.

No matter how much I tried to focus on the task at hand, which included cleaning the chimney with a sweep, the journal stayed at the forefront of my mind. I managed to find a doll that could help to defend my story to Mary, but part of me wished I had told her about the journal. Mary knew Lady Catherine better than I did and she might have known more about why the journal had been hidden in the fireplace.

"Are you almost finished in here?" a voice asked. I looked over to see Jasper's head poking out of the floor hatch, his forearms resting on the floor.

"Nowhere near. I'll have to come back tomorrow," I said.

"Miss Ryan says supper will be ready soon. I'm here to offer my assistance with the bucket."

"Thank you." I handed over the bucket, wiping my hands on my apron, but I made no move to follow Jasper.

"Are you coming?"

"I'll be right behind you, I just need to get something."

"Alright."

Jasper nodded. He started to climb the ladder with the bucket in hand. When I heard his footsteps on the wooden floor of the landing, I crossed over to the fireplace and crouched in front of it. I dug my nails into the concrete and wiggled the brick free, placing it on the ground beside me. The journal was just where I left it so I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it down the front of my dress. I grabbed the doll and quickly followed Jasper down the ladder.

With the journal pressed tightly against my chest, I followed the back staircase all the way to the servants quarters. The quarters consisted of a long corridor with doors leading to various bedrooms. Myself and Mary shared a room, as did the two kitchen maids and the footmen whilst Miss Ryan, the housekeeper, and the butler all had their own rooms. I tucked the journal under my mattress and headed down to the servant hall with the doll.

I handed the doll over to Mrs Channing, the housekeeper, who promised to take it to a doll-maker in the city to be mended. Throughout supper, all I could think about was the journal stuffed under my mattress and how I knew it needed to be handed over. I couldn't keep it, not if it belonged to Lady Catherine, but I was itching to find out just why it had been hidden in the attic. Once I found out, I would hand it over.

After supper, I finished my evening chores and retired to my room, fishing out the journal and holding it out in front of me. My curiosity ate through any guilt I had about taking it. I opened up the journal and thumbed through it to find the next entry.

"What on earth is that?" Mary said from the doorway.

~~~

First Published - February 6th, 2022