For a few seconds, it felt like I was suspended in the air.

I felt weightless, free, suspended in nothing for a few brief seconds before I came crashing back down to earth. Someone grabbed a hold of me and yanked me forward, almost pulling my shoulder from its place in the process. My feet hit the ground and I stumbled forward, grabbing onto whoever had stopped me from falling.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked, loosening his grip on my arm.

"I-I think so."

"Stay down you coward!" Walter yelled.

I turned towards the sound of scuffling. On the ground to the left of me, Walter was wrestling with Jasper, trying to keep him pinned to the ground as he rolled and tried to fight his way out. Walter appeared stronger than Jasper and before long had him pinned to the ground with his entire body weight. My journal lay a short distance away.

With my heart rate returning to normal, I glanced around the hallway. Luke and Walter were joined by Lord Richardson, Archie, Simon, and Bertie. They all stood there and stared at Jasper. Anger radiated off Lord Richardson as held onto Lady Catherine's journal as though it were his final lifeline. I suppose it was. It contained the truth about his daughter's death. Lady Richardson was nowhere to be found.

"Simon, go into the village and find the Constable. Be quick about it or this one might not make it to the hangman."

Simon nodded and started to hurry down the stairs.

"You have no proof I did anything!" Jasper yelled, still thrashing against Walter's grip.

"We have more than enough. My daughter's journal, your threats to Jane."

"And Mary," I said. "She's dead. He pushed her down the well." My throat felt as though it was starting to close, tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of Mary down that well. Alone.

"She fell! It had nothing to do with me."

"I saw you with her," Archie said. "After breakfast you took her outside and then you came back alone, covered in scratches."

"I tried to help her."

Lord Richardson took a step towards him. "Then why did you not tell someone? Why did you come back into the house and say nothing? You, Jasper Pierce, will feel the tug of the hangman's noose around your neck for what you have done. I will make sure of that."

"No one will believe you!"

"Shut your mouth!" Lord Richardson yelled, his voice echoing off the walls. He took a breath and turned to Luke. "Take Jane into my office, I will come and speak to you both when the Constable is here. I expect he has some questions."

"Yes, Sir."

"Archie, Bertie, fetch some of the other gardeners and go down to the well. We cannot leave Mary down there."

The two gardeners nodded, heading down the stairs and leaving Lord Richardson and Walter with Jasper.

Luke kept his hand on my upper arm, steering me down the hall and towards Lord Richardson's office. I had only ever stepped foot in his office once and that was on my first day working for the family. It had been in his office that I had first met Mary.

I felt numb to it all, as if the past few weeks hadn't happened. Mary was dead. She was dead and it was my fault. If I had just handed the journal in when I found it, Jasper never would have felt the need to get close to her and he wouldn't have used her in such a horrific way. He never would have taken her to the well to try and force information from her, and she never would have died.

Mary died because of me.

We entered Lord Richardson's office, the room plunged into silence. Lady Richardson was not there as I expected her to be. It was just myself and Luke. Luke forced me into the settee that sat against the wall of the office. My body followed the movements, but I didn't feel in control of any of them. I felt nothing.

I couldn't bear to think of Mary alone in that well. It's possible the fall didn't kill her, but the hours alone in isolation might have. She died alone. If I had just given Jasper the stupid journal; if I had just thought of the well when I first realised she was missing; if Luke and I hadn't spent time reading the final entries in the journal. All that journal had done was get my best friend killed.

"None of this is your fault," Luke said as though he was reading my mind.

"How can it not be?" I whispered. "Jasper wanted the journal and he used Mary to get it. He killed her trying to find out where I had hidden it. She might still be alive if I had just left well enough alone."

"You don't know that. For all we know, Jasper might have had his sights on her anyway, she may have been another target. If you had left the journal, we never would have found out the truth about Lady Catherine's death. Now, the person responsible will be punished. For all of it."

"Mary would still be alive if it wasn't for me."

"It does not do well to blame yourself for the acts of others," Lady Richardson said, appearing in the doorway. "Edward has told me what has happened to young Mary, and I am terribly sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, My Lady."

"You must, however, not blame yourself for that boy's actions. In uncovering the truth, you have stopped another young lady from falling to the same fate and you have made sure the person who killed my daughter will meet a fate they deserve."

"I uncovered the truth at the cost of Mary's life." I clenched my hands into fists and rested them on my lap.

Lady Richardson moved into the room and took a seat. "From what I understand, your friend died because of a boy who thought himself above everyone else. She protected you until the end; protected your trust and the secrets you asked her to keep even in her final moments. Mary was a true friend to you and I am sure she knew what he would do to her if she did not provide the information he desperately sought. She knew what would happen and stood by you anyway.

"Your friend was a hero who allowed you both enough time to inform us of the truth."

"But it doesn't change the fact that she died." I looked up.

"No, it does not and I know that nothing will help to battle the pain and grief you are feeling inside. The hurt will stay for a long time, but you will overcome it. You must allow yourself the chance to grieve." Lady Richardson smoothed out her skirts. "Edward and I will see that Mary receives a proper burial and that everyone knows what she did for you and for this family."

"We'll get through this together," Luke said. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him.

I rested my head on his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut, allowing the tears to flow down my cheek.

~~~

First Published - March 2nd, 2022