I told Luke everything.

With the pages having been torn from my journal, I knew I couldn't keep its contents a secret from him for much longer. He had been so determined to help me find it that I owed him the truth about what it contained. It also felt nice to have someone other than Mary who knew about Lady Catherine's journal; I had my doubts she would be of much help after her previous comment.

When I had told him the truth, he took a step back and stared at me. I couldn't read his expression or tell what he was thinking, he just stared as he processed the information. Then he spoke.

"So you found Lady Catherine's journal in the attic and, rather than turn it in, you started to read it? Then you find out that she had some sort of secret suitor who was a member of staff and you want to find out who it is?"

"That just about sums it up," I said.

"Do you think whoever this suitor is, took your journal thinking it was Lady Catherine's?"

"I think so. If I'm right in that the suitor purchased the journal for Lady Catherine, then he might have recognised the one I'm using and thought it to be the same one. He must have torn the pages out when he discovered that it wasn't the right journal, but it means whoever it is, knows I have Lady Catherine's journal."

"Which means they'll probably search your room again." He chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Where do you keep it?"

"Behind my dresser with the locket, which I cannot open."

"We might have to move it, just in case whoever took it comes back and searches your room again. As for the locket, leave that to me. It might have become jammed so I can try and use leverage to open it."

I frowned at him. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Curiosity. Whoever took your journal obviously doesn't want you to read Lady Catherine's journal, and from what you've read, it certainly seems like Lady Catherine had some secrets."

I nodded. The two of us returned to the house, where the rest of the servants had already arrived back from their Sunday adventures. Miss Ryan was busy preparing a simple meal for us and for upstairs as Luke and I slipped into the kitchen and headed towards the stairs. The journal lay pressed against my chest after I had tucked it under my dress to keep it hidden. I didn't want whoever took it to know I had it back, not yet.

We climbed the stairs and headed towards my room where Jasper and Mary were nowhere to be found. I closed the door, breaking one of the cardinal rules, before dragging the dresser to access Lady Catherine's journal and the locket. They were both where I left them, which was more of a relief than anything else. Luke was right; since the journal that had been stolen was mine, it wouldn't take long before they came looking for Lady Catherine's real journal.

Luke took the locket from me, turning it over in his hand to get a better look at it. He then tried to open the clasp, struggling just as Mary and I had to try and open it to reveal its contents. Now that I knew it was a letter, I wanted access to see if I recognised the handwriting just because it would make it that much easier to identify the suitor.

"This really is stuck. A screwdriver might help to open it, though it might damage the clasp. Did you say this came from the suitor?"

I nodded. "At least that was what Lady Catherine believed. It was in her bedroom when she retired on Christmas day."

"How could a servant, much less a gardener, afford something like that? I could only just manage the draughts board."

"I don't know. It looks expensive."

"Well, let's get it open and hope we recognise the handwriting."

Luke tucked the locket into his pocket and helped me to put the dresser back, tucking both of the journals behind it to keep them safe. They would have to be moved at some point, but with the supper bell ringing, there wasn't time to move it elsewhere. I just had to make sure no one was left alone in the room until we could move it. Where we were going to put it, I wasn't sure.

We left the room and headed downstairs to the servant's hall where Miss Ryan had prepared a pie for the evening's supper. Luke and I were the last ones to appear for supper, which elicited a few stares and raised eyebrows from others, but we ignored them. Someone around that table had removed pages from my journal and I was determined to find out who it was.

Throughout supper, Luke kept his hand resting on his pocket as though he was afraid that the locket would fall out and he would have some explaining to do. I wasn't sure how much of a good co-conspirator he would be since he appeared nervous that someone would talk to him, but having a gardener on my side would be helpful. He'd know more about the gardeners and their actions than anyone else.

When supper ended, I returned to my room with the intention of reading more of the journal. Every entry came with new information, and most of it came as a surprise. I never thought of Lady Catherine as a rule-breaker, especially when it came to the rules and expectations about women and their virtue. Perhaps that was why Lady Richardson thought she looked so scared.

"What did you and Luke get up to today?" Mary asked, pushing open the door.

I hastily shoved the journal under my pillow. "We just played draughts."

"Draughts? That's it? You played draughts all afternoon?"

I nodded. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I just thought you might have done something else." She smiled. "Jasper kissed me in the orchard today, under the apple trees."

"He kissed you?"

"Don't act so surprised. I've been hoping he would for a while now."

"It's a bit soon, isn't it? You've only stepped out together a few times."

Mary shrugged. "What does that matter? He's really sweet, Jane, and didn't try and force me to do something I did not want to do. He's really knowledgeable and smart as well."

"You sound as though you are already in love with him."

"Maybe I am. You'd understand if you stopped fussing over that journal and paid attention to Luke. Honestly, it might just be time for you to hand it into Lord Richardson and be done with it. It's caused far more hassle than it's worth."

Mary pulled her hairpins out and changed into her nightdress. I removed the journal from under my pillow, running my fingers over the leather exterior as I chewed on the inside of my cheek. It had caused a fair amount of trouble, but someone went to great lengths to get their hands on it and Lady Catherine had hidden it for a reason. Of course, it was likely that she had only hidden it because of the entry regarding her pre-marital actions with her suitor, but somehow, I doubted that to be the case.

There was something more hidden within its pages, and I was determined to find out what it was.

~~~

First Published - February 26th, 2022