It didn't matter how hard we tried to open the locket, it wouldn't budge.

The clasp had become stuck fast and neither of us could open it. We knew we couldn't ask someone to help us without revealing everything and so it remained tucked behind my dresser. I read the journal entries when I could, but all I could find out was that Lady Catherine used to meet her suitor in the attic. At least I knew why she had decided it would be an appropriate place to hide the journal.

With no information, and with the locket refusing to open, Mary and I were left with no new information. She had become less interested in who the suitor might be and instead started to think more of her own future. Often, I would find her gazing at Jasper through an open window instead of doing her chores but when I asked her, she pretended as if she saw a butterfly. It seemed that the journal entries reignited her interest in him and her desire to find love.

I'm not entirely sure what she thought staring at him would do is not unnerve him a little.

"Why don't you go and talk to him?" I asked, pulling my journal out from under my mattress and thumbing through the pages.

"I can't just go and talk to him! That's not how it works."

"Well, staring at him through a window is a little unsettling. What would the harm be in just saying hello?"

"He's supposed to make the first move." She sighed. "Why are you still looking at that? I thought you would have become fed up with it by now."

"This isn't Lady Catherine's, it's mine, and I'm not bored of it. She has to say who it is eventually, and I'm determined to find out."

"You barely even knew Lady Catherine so why the interest?"

"You were just as curious as me, don't act like you weren't."

"I was, now I'm not."

Mary shrugged her shoulders and returned to unpinning her hair. I sighed and continued to read over the pieces of information we had. In truth, I felt just as she did about the entire thing. I wanted to move on from it, to find something else to spend my time on, but there was something about the journal that bugged me, something that made me think about it.

Why did Lady Catherine decide to move the journal when she did? It made sense that she decided to hide it in the attic since no one ever went in there so it would remain hidden, but why did she move it? The space under her floorboard appeared secure enough, but apparently not enough in comparison to the attic. Lady Catherine had the perfect space to keep the journal and yet she went out of her way to hide it in the chimney breast.

There had to be a reason and I just had to hope and pray that she would reveal why in the final pages.

Although it wasn't just that, Mary had a point about the timing of the journal being moved to the attic a week before Lady Catherine died. Even if it had been a coincidence, it certainly was a strange one.

"Knock, knock," Luke said, knocking and then opening the door. He poked his head through the gap and looked at us. "I don't suppose either of you has seen Jasper? I need to talk to him about the tulips, but I can't find him."

"Not seen him, sorry."

"I'm behind you, you pillock."

Luke swung the door open to reveal Jasper standing behind him with a smile on his face. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Maybe we just kept missing each other." Jasper's eyes darted into the room. He looked between myself and Mary before turning back to Luke. "Go back to our room, I'll be there in a second. I just want to have a word with Mary."

"I just want to talk about the tulips," Luke muttered as he walked away.

"Mary, can we talk outside?"

"Of course."

Mary looked at me wide-eyed and with a slight smile as she stood up from her bed and crossed the room to join Jasper in the hallway. I closed the journal and tucked it under my mattress for another day. Until I read more of Lady Catherine's journal, my own notes would be of no use to me unless I could find something that neither myself nor Mary had mentioned.

I didn't remove the journal from behind the dresser until Mary returned, starry-eyed and with a stunned expression on her face. She didn't say anything as she closed the door and crossed back over to the bed. I watched her sit down, run a hand through her bright red hair before she turned to face me.

"Jasper just asked to step out with me on Sunday. He wants to go to the village, just the two of us."

"That was quick. You've barely spoken two words to him."

"That's not true! We had a conversation just the other day at breakfast."

"He asked you to hand him the milk, it was hardly a conversation."

Mary huffed. "You wouldn't understand because you're too wrapped up in that journal to see the world. I'm sure someone would catch your eye if you just gave them a chance. I thought you would be happy for me, Jane. This is what I've always wanted."

I shook my head and turned away, pulling the pins from my hair, allowing it to spill over my shoulder in its usual mess of waves. Behind me, I knew she rolled her eyes at my lack of response. It wasn't as if I didn't want her to be happy, I did, but I didn't quite understand how she could become enamoured by someone she had shared so few words with. She and Jasper barely spoke to each other.

If I had learnt anything from Lady Catherine's journal, it was that love or romantic bonds couldn't be formed without a connection. How could Mary and Jasper have a connection with so few words? I was more than certain that Mary liked him for the same reason everyone else did and yes, he was sweet, but she didn't know him, not really. To my knowledge, Jasper had never shown any interest in Mary, so why now?

We both climbed into bed with neither of us saying another word to the other. In the time I had worked in the house, Mary and I had never gone to bed without a goodnight, and it hurt me that she thought I didn't want her to be happy. I wanted that for her, but I just didn't think she understood what she might be getting herself into with Jasper, especially since she barely knew him.

Before I fell asleep, I remembered something that Luke had said.

He wanted to talk about the tulips.

~~~

First Published - February 17th, 2022