It's been a while since my last dedication, and as the end is getting nearer, I'm grateful for each one of my little readers who have made this story even more special for me, supporting me every day 🌞❤

So today's chapter is dedicated to @Allegories_Myths who has started this book not long ago but has already showered me with her constant love and support and that I'm honored to call my friend ❤ I hope one day we'll meet in real life, hopefully in your beautiful country that I love so much 🤩😘❤

"I'm home!"

The call stops Nate's fingers instantly, the smooth voice interrupting the harmony that has been playing in his head and pulling him sharply back to reality.

"Pamela, I didn't–" As soon as he lifts his head, the gestures of her hand are shushing him, and then, it's her excited shatters as she turns back to the phone he finally notices in her other hand.

So he too goes back to the item in his hands, or more exactly, he stares emptily at the guitar as if it was a dangerous weapon, when the simple wooden object would certainly not harm anyone. Yet with all the weapons and triggers he's ever held, he's never felt as powerful as when he's brushing these bare strings.

He's doing nothing illegal, at least, as long as he doesn't sing the meaningful lyrics. It's just a mindless melody; he tries to reason as his fingers are itching to strum the strings again.

However, a glance at Pamela's cold gaze is enough to decide him against it, and he keeps the song inside his head, along with Anastasia's sweet accent reciting the lyrics, while new ones are appearing with the calm beats of his heart, and it's enough for him to escape the shiny yet dull living room for an instant, even if too short.

"May I know what you're doing?" Pamela's voice once more covers the peaceful melody inside, and this time, her attention and lifted eyebrows are all on him and his guitar. Though he doesn't catch any spark of curiosity in her large brown eyes.

"Um, I... It's my grandfather's guitar. I found it again, and I don't know... I just tried to play..." He shrugs, as for once, it isn't totally a lie, and it's nothing illegal.

Yet the look in Pamela's eyes doesn't change, and not knowing what to think of it, he chooses a dodging tactic instead. "Um, you're early? I thought you had an appointment?"

"No, I'm not. I'm late actually. The manicure lasted longer than usual."

Late? Indeed, the small screen near the TV is displaying the numbers '7.10 p.m.', making his eyes grow wider as he keeps blinking and wondering how it can be possible because he's sure it has been 5.45 p.m. minutes ago, and he's so stunned that he doesn't even hear what Pamela is saying anymore.

Her voice becomes a faraway buzzing as the wheels of his head are spinning like those of a clock ticking backward to try to understand where the time has flown, and all he can conclude is that the hours must have got lost in the music like he's been, trying to escape the haunting fears and worries.

All he remembers is grabbing his guitar to shut down the deafening cacophony of his mind when he's arrived here. That's the only thing he could think of to not go insane, since he couldn't call Anastasia.

Generally, it's her sweet accent, her smile, and all her unique ways to lighten the mood that are soothing his anxious mind. But tonight he's had to do without his angel, and of course, his old demons have come to haunt him in greater numbers.

It has to be said that the course of today might not have helped either. Starting the day with a 'special' meeting with all the soldiers about the recent rebels' hack of the Matchmaking application, and continuing with a strategy meeting to plan the Love Bug in the afternoon, in the evening, the reality of it all has caught up with him, and now, a million thoughts are already spinning back in his mind, all gravitating around the same idea.

He can replay this day again and again, it always ends up with the same promising yet scary conclusion.

"Okay, so you and Sacha go first. I set the program to highjack the main alarm, and then you have 10 seconds to get in. Then I meet you there to get in too?" Hadi points at the blue circle on the map spread before them, while Nate is staring unblinkingly at the red cross that is their destination.

Actually, he's analyzed this map so many times that even closing his eyes, he still sees every part of it, especially every dead-end as he sighs.

"Yeah, but the problem is still the same once inside: the high security of the mainstream computer room with the lasers alarm on the floor and the locked door."

"I thought we talked about the air ducts?"

The crease between Anastasia's eyebrows, that too, he can picture it behind his closed lids, as she lifts her head from her notes, written in regular and fine handwriting under the title 'LOVE BUG'. But he still reopens his eyes to meet the soft and so determined hazel in hers, and replies what he has already thought through too many times,

"Yeah, but the air vent opening on the room ceiling is too small to go through it."

"And with a cable or something?" Sacha suggests, his voice having gained in confidence since the last times, as he's managed to prove his loyalty to everyone.

It seems there is progress for everyone, even Hadi, his gaze maybe a tiny bit less scornful as he lifts an eyebrow.

"We can't connect the flash drive like that. What's the dimensions exactly?"

"Barely 18 inches diagonally from what's written on the map."

"So someone small could."

Hadi has barely finished his sentence that Nate hears the frown deepening on Anastasia's features, maybe because she's so close or because of the small breath she takes in before opening her mouth and stopping his heart.

"I can. They took my measurements for the dress, and I'm 16. Plus, I've lost some weight recently."

It looks like she has really decided to torture Nate's heart today, and before it can even start again in an uneven and painful pace, the firm word is out.

"No." He may be out of breath, but his tone is unflinching. "No," he repeats as everyone's wide eyes turn to him, yet he only sees Anastasia's magnetizing ones already narrowing with a frown. "No, I'm not letting you take more risks."

Her frown might be determined, but he is too. He's promised this to himself when he's decided to fight, and even before actually. Her safety is his priority, always.

"We can find another girl. Why not Molly? Or someone else?" He glances around as if someone else would appear in the large warehouse, in the middle of nowhere. But unfortunately, there is only Sacha, Hadi, Anastasia, him, and the covered shapes of the boats.

"Molly is a swimmer. She has shoulders larger than mine, and I thought we couldn't involve anyone else?" Hadi replies calmly, too calmly when everything is racing inside Nate. "Besides, Ana looks light, so it'll be easier to hold her."

"No, I said no," Nate repeats, his tone between authority and despair bringing the silence in the large room.

At least, until a voice weighing with even more determination breaks it.

"It's not you who decide."

Anastasia, she is the only one who can always stand up in the heaviest silences and make his steel facade waver, so much that the cracks can be heard as he replies,

"You would be hung by a rope, and if you fall, or even brush a laser..." The possibility can't even make out of the pounding lump in his throat as he keeps his eyes solely on her soft ones, his most prized treasure, and she doesn't blink away.

"I won't. You'll be the one holding me, and I trust you to never let me fall."

"I..." He's still speechless, although the lump in his throat is sliding down to fall on his chest as she's holding his gaze with a mesmerizing intensity and unwavering faith.

She believes in him more than he believes in himself, and the mystical hazel seems to always see in himself more than he could ever. Yet it isn't easy to glimpse hope when there are so many dark clouds in his mind.

"Besides, I feel useless if I stay behind with Andy. I don't know anything about computers, and I want to help too." She lets out a sigh, and even if he doesn't see what she finds in him, he can pierce easily through the warm shades of her eyes. Through the sparkles of light, he catches sight of her fire, but also how it's consuming her whole.

"We don't really have time for something else, and you said it yourself: we're stronger together, mon amour." With those words, and a bashful smile, her argumentation is perfectly wrapped, like their fingers that she intertwines together, and he can only give in, tightening the hold of his hand on hers as he mutters,

"Okay." He does his best to fight the smile tickling the corners of his lips, at least until she jumps at his neck, and his chuckle slips out with the strength of her joy and determination. "But we'll get you the best and most secure gear."

"Yes, yes, thank you!" She lightly kisses the side of his neck before pulling away, her tone serious again as she turns to Hadi, already grabbing her pen to take notes, although her smile stays as big. "So this is settled. You'll have to explain me what I have to do to connect the flash drive."

"Then we get out the same way, and what?" Sacha voices the question in everyone's mind, his eyes searching around the makeshift desk while everyone is looking down because it's the only thing they can't control, plan, or settle.

"We wait," Hadi replies, probably the simplest and hardest answer. "We lay low and we wait."

"The Love Bug will include a part calling everyone to rebel and stand up against the government. With everything revealed, it should happen rather quickly," Nate explains the most confidently he can when this part is the most hypothetical.

There are so many maybes, shoulds, and...

"But..." The quaverings in Anastasia's quiet voice echo exactly how uncertain everything is, even if the deep creases between her eyebrows are much more settled, letting him know the matter is haunting her for some time already.

That's why he leans closer, trying to decipher the shadows in her eyes or at least, to encourage her to speak up. "Yes?"

"But... the government risks to react quickly too...'" she continues in a whisper, the words as hesitant, and the worry as sharp on her delicate features.

"They'll be less powerful if we convince people in the army and in various fields."

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be a wake-up call for a lot of people. It just takes a little trigger. Look at us!" Sacha offers her a reassuring smile, probably noticing the distress on her pale skin, which is standing out from the steel walls behind her, and Nate is thankful for the little help because the heaviness weighing on her features is crushing his chest.

"But... if some people aren't convinced..." Her eyes fall down to her notes for a second before coming back sharper on Nate, and the look she gives him under her creased eyebrows is even more powerful than her 'lawyer' gaze. "They can make the connection with the archives mission, right?"

Through the hazel shades, more transparent and vulnerable than ever, she lets him see all the emotions swirling behind, and she's reaching straight to his chest as she adds, "I know you've protected me with the beanie so the camera couldn't catch my face, but... your name and Vera's are on that assignment."

"I made sure Vera was going somewhere public where there are cameras during the assignment. They can't accuse her. She can even say I threatened her, and she won't say your name."

"What about you?" she asks, her low tone barely seeping through her clenched jaw, which, like a latch, is barely holding back her boiling emotions.

"There are archives and archives missions everywhere in the world..."

"That's not the question I asked." With every word, her features are becoming more tensed, yet her voice still manages to resonate louder, and he's the one speechless, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to form the right arguments to reassure her, although he can never lie in front of these passionate eyes.

"Technically they don't have more reasons to accuse me than anyone else, since we didn't steal anything from the archives room, and they'll probably have other things to worry about than investigating for the culprit."

"'Technically'? 'Probably'?" she gasps, the emotions starting to break out of her ribcage, and he can only avert his gaze down as the tornado Anastasia is about to blow up.

He's very well aware of the risks he's heading for since the moment his idea has appeared. He's praying the 'probably' and 'technically' will be enough, that with some luck or help from above, they'll never even have to face those possible what-ifs. But if there have to be 'ifs', it's his life that will be on the condition, and not Anastasia's.

And that, she's understanding it now, her trembling hands already grabbing the map. "Non, we're not doing this."

"What?!" Hadi exclaims, the shock written all over his face, just like Sacha, who, though, is wiser to not defy the tornado Anastasia. "Are you serious?!"

Nate is the only one who isn't surprised by Anastasia's outburst. He's been dreading this moment for some time already. However, his heart is still stopping as she rips off the map in one sharp motion, and her breathing is growing thin and ragged, her eyes glistening more and more with fear.

"Yes, I am. There's no way we're gonna do this suicide mission!"

"Ana." Nate tries to grab her hand as she is clutching the map with all the strength of her despair.

It isn't the map that is important; it's just a copy, and they have others, even though he has no doubt she could find a way to destroy every map and every part of their Love Bug. But it's the shakes of her tight fists, which he's sure are drawing blood in her palms, that are worrying him.

"We have no other plan. We can't give up now. We knew there are risks, but it's for freedom."

She shakes her head as if freedom wasn't the thing they've been wishing the most during the last three months, and as the first tear rolls down her cheeks, he's losing all his resolve.

The 'ifs' that he's made peace with, locking them inside a corner of his mind, are starting a raging war inside his chest in front of Anastasia's tormented eyes. He's taken back to that day he's broken her heart, watching powerless her tears running down one after the other, and even if now, their reasons are reversed, he can't do it again.

He doesn't want to face her broken eyes. Yet he doesn't want her to be caged and unhappy. He doesn't know what he wants to do anymore, her trembling breaths shaking every argument he's built.

"And if we do a fake break-in the archives?"

All Nate's colliding battles inside are halted, and he has to do a double-take as he turns to the man all dressed in black, who Nate would have never imagined could bring him a gleam of hope. But that flicker of light for the future is really there, appearing in Anastasia's blurry eyes as the Cerberus, Hadi, continues,

"We would have to set it the same night we break into the PROP tower so they don't have time to suspect our plan, and it could even divert their attention from our own break-in."

Nate still has to blink a few times to process each word and search for a trick or flaw before taking in that there isn't any. Hadi's idea is plausible, and it even could be really helpful.

Is Andy softening him? Or is he sympathizing with Anastasia and her anguished expression? Or maybe, which is more likely, he's just scared of what Anastasia is capable of because she's proven everyone how passionate and unstoppable she is.

"It could work?" His tornado quickly wipes her wet cheeks, hope illuminating the gleaming reflections in her eyes as she turns to Hadi and Sacha with her piercing lawyer gaze, because it's clear she doesn't trust Nate to tell her the truth on this.

"Um, yes, I think. Like Nate said, they'll have other things to worry about, so if they have the perfect crime, they won't search further," Sacha replies, almost sounding like a witness at a court stand, while Hadi nods, and everyone is waiting, hanging on Anastasia's furrowed eyebrows as for once, she's the one who decides the sentence.

"Okay, then we can do this." Her frown loosens slightly, and with it, Nate's ribcage too. "I'll still ask Andy and Molly first, but okay."

"You'll have to show us the way to the archives, and I'll try to set some trained people to go."

"Sure, they'll just have to break into the room and get out quickly when the alarm will go off." Nate turns to Hadi, making a mental note to grab a map of the armed forces' headquarters as he knows this diversion mission will be as dangerous as their own; it's part of it now, and there are more and more lives involved in this Love Bug.

Even if his priority is Anastasia and her safety, he doesn't want all these people helping them to finish as other files in the archives either, and all those stakes are adding up on his shoulders and in the pit of his stomach.

"And we have to set a date?"

Another weight falls on Nate's stomach as he swallows Hadi's words. Setting a date is settling everything in reality, in time, and in a near future.

"We've hacked the maintenance service schedule with Andy, and they aren't working on Sundays and Thursdays. So it's the best days to go because there's only the security patrol," Hadi adds as Anastasia is pulling out her phone to look for a date.

But Nate already has one. "This Thursday."

He doesn't even flinch when everyone turns to him with wide eyes as if checking his sanity. He's crazy; that's sure. Yet he won't back down on this.

"That's in three days!" Hadi scoffs.

"Yes, I know. But almost everything is ready, and three days are enough to settle all the details." His gaze slides on the two men, knowing they have no argument against this, and they can only nod as he adds with a serious and meaningful look, "We don't have time. Remember that we have to be quicker than the government."

There's also another deadline in his head and his heart, and when he meets Anastasia's eyes, she easily reads it through him.

"You're sure?" She doesn't have to say anything. Through the transparency of their gazes, it all passes.

"Yes, I am." It's surely because of the loud thuds of his heart, but his words are echoing in the silence like in a cathedral, and it's even louder when she breathes out a sigh and nods.

"Thursday, if Andy and Molly are okay with it of course."

He doesn't even hear what Hadi is replying.

It will be this Thursday, in three days, not in a week, not on Sunday. They have to be free before Saturday. It's the deadline that has been ticking with every beat of his heart for months, since that day Anastasia has angelically appeared in a white dress, maybe even before, when he's seen her tears and broken dreams, or when he's glimpsed her in Fergus's arms. Now it's just in a few days...

Her still naked and delicate hand finds her way back in his, probably sensing his speeding thoughts, and also making sure he's here as she leans into his arms, and as their fingers are lacing together perfectly, he really takes in that they're together now.

Whatever happens, they're fighting for a life together, and they are together until death do them part, whether it's when they're growing old or in a few days.

His heart is pounding with this revelation, trying to jump out of his ribcage, though he can't decipher if it's out of fear or joy. 'Until death do us part', it's promising yet scary, and he can't picture any other possibility.

"Nate!" The loud call of his name pulls Nate out of this unique thought, and he blinks to recognize the woman in front of him, Pamela, his wife. "I was asking you a question!"

Has she? Her voice must have been muted over the tremors of his heart, still shaking with the earth-shattering realization, and traveling back in the recent memory, he's forgotten what he's left behind.

"Um, sorry... I was lost in my thoughts... What were you saying?"

"I was wondering why you didn't start getting ready for tonight? You didn't forget about tonight, did you?" Her voice and her eyebrows are rising as she notices his lost stare, and behind, the reels are spinning as he searches through his memory, but there's only one date ticking in his head.

It isn't hard to guess though; it must be another society dinner, which is already turning his stomach at the thought of pretending to be perfect in a world of appearance, when he isn't, and the world is even less. 

"No, of course not! I just don't –"

"We're going," she states with one of her 'perfect' wide smiles, while her eyes are giving a final meaning to the matter. "It's an important dinner hosted by Mr. and Mrs. Windsor, and everything will be perfect."

"Um... sure..." He forces a rictus in return, getting up and preparing to trade his guitar for his 'perfect' mask, as the same tick-tock is still echoing in his head and inside his chest, counting each remaining second.

Just a few more days... He can do it.

However, Pamela stops it all, the ticking, his movements, and his heart when she leans closer.

"Don't think I'm blind." Her gaze flickers to his guitar for a brief yet strongly meaningful second, where everything she could have witnessed flashes before his eyes, and when her gaze comes back to his with no hint of her usual smile remaining on her features, it's flashes of dreadful scenarios that are appearing.

Though through all of this, his heart still isn't beating.

"I don't know what you're up to, and I don't care. But it'd better not mess with my image." The words are uttered lowly, seeping through her clenched jaw, and inside they're turning as deafening as sirens, leaving him so stunned that he doesn't react as she grabs his guitar with a swift movement and puts it away in a corner.

Yet one thing is arising even louder from his chest, an urge to reply, to scream,

'You're only worried about appearances? When people are dying every day...'

He can feel it climbing irresistibly and fiercely up his throat until it's tickling the tip of his tongue with a spark that undoubtedly comes from Anastasia's fire.

But he fights to keep his lips closed, as it wouldn't be wise to speak up now, so close to the date, and in spite of everything rumbling inside, he swallows harshly and holds back a little bit longer when Pamela glances back at him.

"Get ready, baby." With a smile and a sweet tone, she walks out of the room, leaving him shivering, as the fake warmth does nothing to melt away her cold threat, and he's still frozen on spot by the revelation.

She knows... Well, she doesn't know what he's up to, as she's said it herself, and that is enough for his chest to move with a sigh of relief, yet it still comes out empty and shaky.

She knows he's up to something...Of course, she may have been focused on her perfect image, but his many lies, his distance, and even the changes happening in him are obvious. He's been careless too many times, and he can't now, when there are just a few more days...

That's why, even though his trembling fingers are itching to reach for his phone, he keeps them firmly latched around his compass pendant.

If what Pamela has said is the truth, he'd better not give her evidence of what he's up to, and if the thought of confessing to her what he's been doing has lingered in a corner of his mind before, it's annihilated by the echo of her freezing tone and the strong bangs of his heart, which he has barely felt restarting when Pamela has left him alone.

It's not how he would have wished things to go. Even if he's given up his marriage some time ago already, when he's made other promises, he would have wished to be able to talk to Pamela and explain to her.

Those lies and guilt burdening on his stomach have made him sick so many times, so much that he's been close to spilling the truth. But a glance at his guitar in the corner, and he doesn't regret listening to the instinct in his guts instead.

If things had been different, maybe she could have understood.

Now, he can only pray for the Love Bug to work and wish Pamela to find love, true love, and be happy. He hopes she'll understand then.

After all, he can't have lived three years with someone and say he doesn't feel sympathy and friendship towards Pamela. Yet as her words keep echoing in his mind and filling him with an uneasy dread, this sympathy is crumbling little by little.

And the 'perfect' dinner hasn't even started...

He finally moves to get ready like she has 'kindly' asked. Though as he too walks out of the room and catches sight of a 'perfect' picture of them two as a 'perfect' couple, he can't help the hopeful and exhilarating thought, like a spark of fire, that what he's up to will certainly mess Pamela's perfect image.

It will certainly mess her perfect image! What do you think? 😏

And her reaction? Should Nate be scared? Does she know? Or is she telling the truth? 🤔

Also, what do you think of the flashback? The Love Bug is now ready 😈 Are you surprised that Nate was ready to put himself in so much danger or did you expect it? I think it was not surprising, he's always a hero no matter what he thinks ❤

Let me know in the comments what you think, and of course, vote ⭐ if you liked this chapter!

Are you excited for the Love Bug? I am!! And I love to see all the love you're showing to this story these days!! It makes me so happy! YOU make me so happy, my little rays of sunshine 🌞🥰❤