I'm back!!! And Natesia too! 😁😉❤

"It was a nice talk!" He chuckles breathlessly against her skin, still wrapped in a euphoric daze.

But he immediately regrets it as her soft body tenses under his hands.

Talk, the word hits Anastasia terribly hard.

The shock makes her pull away from Nathaniel, and their warm bubble bursts at once. The emptiness and the coldness are seizing her, though it's all the rules, the questions, and the doubts creeping in her foggy brain that are freezing her.

She sits up straight beside him, trying to cover herself with the crinkled white sheets.

"Non, this was not supposed to go like this." She shakes her head as if it would put all the chaotic thoughts back in order inside.

She could cry; she could scream. Everything is too intense.

"We shouldn't have."

She tries to avert her eyes, but she doesn't know where to look between his gaze piercing through her soul and his naked, glistening body, which he doesn't bother to cover. She doesn't know which one is affecting her the most.

Her heart is racing faster, almost trying to break free from her tight chest, and her stomach is knotting painfully, while just a little lower, she can still feel the blissful tingles from what has happened. Her brain is once again lost with the mixed signals from her body, and she can't find her words.

"It happened three –no, four times... But it can't reiterate," she repeats almost like an automaton the arguments she has prepared. "It was an error of judgment from us, but there is surely a solution to solve this..."

"You're not talking about a trial case."

She looks up from her hands to glance at Nathaniel. He is still laying naked and unmoving, one of his eyebrows arched perfectly. Yet the tone of his voice is the contrary; it is full of emotions: amused and incredibly serious at the same time, raw and calm, with hurt and irritation on the edges.

Her heart stops like caught in the act. He sees right through her.

She lets out a shaky breath, feeling suddenly more naked than she has ever felt as he sits up, diving his soft eyes in hers. 

"What has just happened..." He points between them. "I think it's the proof that it can't be reasoned. Don't you think we've tried enough?" He tries to pronounce the words softly to not overwhelm her as he can see her vulnerability through her glossy eyes, even if inside his chest, something is screaming.

"What do we do now then?"

He is dismantling smoothly all her built-up arguments with no reasonable plea, yet deep down she has already agreed with him.

"I don't know!" He shrugs, letting the helplessness and whatever there is between them take over, while she is still paralyzed by it.

"We've tried fighting it, and it clearly hasn't worked. Why not let it be?" he suggests it in a soft tone, almost simply, although she glimpses in his chocolate brown eyes that inside, he is as overwhelmed as she is, and it pulls her to surrender even more.

She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. The words are jostling incoherently in her brain, and they can't pass her cramped throat.

"I know this is illegal and dangerous," he rushes, yet each syllable is coming out slowly. "But we've already done it before, and... it's really likely to happen again..."

She can't decipher if it is embarrassment flashing in his eyes or a sparkle of hope, or maybe something even darker?

"At least here, we're safe. No one will know." He seems to be considering this option at the same time that the words leave his lips and cross his mind. 

He hasn't planned it; it is what he is feeling at the moment. It's natural, the opposite of her and her thought-out plea, and it deepens her breathing. It is like she is trying to soak up his spontaneity, and something inside her chest wants to fly free.

"I'm not pressuring you into anything," he adds in a soft and honest tone.

Though it's the attraction towards him that is pressuring her.

"I'm just suggesting. You can think about it, but..."

"But, you don't want me to go, and I can't stay away." She lets the words fly freely, and her ribcage opens up like wings, letting the air finally reach her lungs, and maybe something more.

A grin slowly forms on his puffy lips, devious and pure at the same time, and it tickles a smile on her own.

"You're sure that we're safe?"

She can't let 'this', whatever is attracting and tingling them towards each other, push them blindly at risk.

"Yes. As you saw, there is no one around, and no one knows about this place." His smile doesn't come down, yet the brown shades in his eyes turn serious, and as they are so close, she sees it clearly.

She trusts him. She knows he would never consciously put them in danger.

"You've got a lot of secret places?" She smirks, recalling memories of infinite mountains and surreal freedom still vivid in her mind.

"Yeah, and you're the only one to know them."

His tenebrous eyes bore intensely into hers, and she is sure they travel until hitting her heart because she feels it jolt inside her ribcage. He has a way to make her feel so special with his penetrating gaze.

Yet a faint voice in the back of her mind is there to remind her she isn't the only woman in his life. He has a wife, and her heart bounces back to its place to sink lower.

"And what about your wife?"

As his eyebrows rise up, she realizes her blunt question might sound slightly bitter and jealous, so she adds, 

"And my future husband? I'm getting married in a month and a half. How do we do... this?" She copies the gesture of his fingers from earlier; it is easier than searching for a word when they already have enough matters to worry about. "How can we manage? Where are we going with this?"

Nate admires her. These are the same questions that are resonating in his head, yet he would never have dared to speak them out loud.

"I don't know," he replies sincerely, as he can never be anything but honest with her. "I don't know about you, but my whole life I've been following the rules, I've done what was planned."

She nods faintly, letting him know he isn't the only one.

"What if... What if for once we just stop worrying about all of this, we do something we feel like, and see where this leads us?" He does the same move of his index finger, this time touching the skin of her warm chest. "Just take it one day at a time and figure it out along the way?"

"Take it one day at a time and figure it out along the way," she repeats slowly the words like someone would pronounce a foreign language for the first time, tasting and enjoying each syllable on the tip of their tongue.

For her, it is almost a foreign language, poles apart from what she is used to, and past the frontiers of her fortress.

His piercing eyes are attentive to every move of her lips and every expression on her tensing features, waiting silently and not pressuring her, yet there is so much hopeful light in the dark brown shades.

"Okay." She can sense the tingles of a slow smile forming on her lips and of so many emotions in her stomach as the small sparkle of hope lights up in Nathaniel's eyes, dazzling her.

"Okay?" He seeks the full approval in her eyes and holds his hand out.

It is like he is inviting her in an unknown land, and she offers him her hand once again. 

However, she surprises him by leaning in to meet his lips. If she is stepping into uncharted territory, might as well jump fully.

"I thought it would be appropriate to seal the deal?" She shrugs innocently as she leans away, but he grabs her chin to keep her close, letting his wide smile brush her lips.

"Yes!" He locks their lips again, making sure to stamp their decision.

When the deal is fully sealed, and their swollen lips part, he wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer in his strong arms and already enjoying the 'this' or 'let it be'.

His skin is warm on hers, and his touch feather-like. His fingers are traveling along her spine, not trying to wander lower, just respectful and gentle, yet tingling her deliciously. Their legs are entangling in a different way, and every inch of their bodies is touching to form a new unity. 

She realizes it is a first for her: a sweet intimacy, cuddling in the arms of a man, skin to skin, yet it feels so comforting and natural. It is a warmth coming from outside and inside, like this place: new and unknown, but comfortably familiar.

"It's really the perfect place," she whispers the words on his skin, without even thinking of their meaning, and although she doesn't see his face, she can guess the content smile playing on his lips and the unfocused look in his eyes, all warm and soft.

That's surely why it takes her aback and freezes her inside when he leans away abruptly to sit up.

"I forgot the drinks! Do you want something?" He glances down at her wide eyes, and just like that, she melts under his hot chocolate gaze, letting out a faint relieved sigh.

"Yes, do you have tequila?"

He lifts up an eyebrow, staring at her. His angel all tangled in the sheets, looking devilishly innocent and tempting, he remembers she doesn't like the bitter taste of alcohol, and he wonders if he's depraving her. Nevertheless, today, there are no clouds of guilt or remorse, only a tickle to corrupt her more in so many ways.

"I need something strong to take in everything!" she explains with a shrug, and it's with a painful effort that he gets up from the bed, the distance from his angelic temptress being already too much on his tired muscles.

Though there are other muscles that start to hurt as he chuckles lightly: his zygomaticus from grinning so unusually much. "Sure!"

When he comes back in just his boxers, with a bottle of tequila and a tray full of crackers and mini-cupcakes, she knows she is lost in this unknown territory, maybe even wrecked, but there is no way she is turning back.

***

Nate has to do a double-take to recognize his reflection in the small security system screen as he inserts his key into the device. The blurry image on the metallic, shiny device resembles him, yet his serious features are replaced by a wide grin and a glowing sparkle in his eyes. 

The euphoria is still flooding his veins, and his head is spinning high, but it's not the shots of tequila; it's another intoxicating drug, his favorite drug: Anastasia. Every time she is near, she puts him on a cloud, and all his tensions relax like under a sedative – well, except for one body part which is always taut around her.

He shakes his head, still in a daze. Even the ride home, and now entering the empty hallway of his marital house, nothing has managed to make him come down. It still feels too surreal: just let it be. It sounds like a dream.

The wake-up alarm rings sooner than he's thought, however, when he realizes the house isn't empty.

"Pamela! Baby... What are you doing here? I thought you were out with Madison tonight?" With his wide eyes, he must look as red-handed as if he's been caught with blood on his hands, so he tries to pull himself together with a smile that is growing tenser.

"She canceled. She has a terrible headache," Pamela explains with a gesture of her hand.

"And you?" She gets up from her chair, focusing all her attention on him. "Weren't you supposed to be on rest duty?"

His mind has been still perched in the treehouse, and there, he's been so focused on convincing Anastasia that he hasn't thought about everything he would have to face afterward. It's an abrupt fall back to reality. All of his muscles are tensing again as he is contorting his brain to find an excuse, and it appears impossible when his thoughts always come back to 'let it be'.

"You can't stay away from work!" Pamela shakes her head with a smile, and the relief washes over him with a sigh, though he's quick to hide it under a chuckle.

"You know me too well!"

That's for sure he can't stay away, yet it's not from work...

His muscles instantly ease down as his mind wanders back to Anastasia.

He's taken aback by how easy it is, how readily the lies are flowing out of his mouth, and how effortlessly Pamela believes him. After everything that has happened, he's anticipated the guilt to come back to hit him in the face. Of course, he always has a weight on his stomach since the first time he's broken the law – which only disappears when he gets lost in Anastasia physically, yet also emotionally. 

So now, consciously making a decision to cross the line fully, he's expected an anchor to crush him down fully and prevent him from even moving, but there is nothing more. He even feels like flying.

"There's no doubt that you're gonna get your promotion! The special missions are for you!" Pamela pulls him back down to reality with her enthusiasm.

"We can't know yet..." He shrugs.

This big promotion that he has been working hard for doesn't seem as appealing right now, and he can't grasp why.

"Aw, don't be modest!" She rolls her eyes before they widen with an excited glint. "And speaking of promotions, you have the new president of the association in front of you!" 

"Um... Congrats... But I thought the members decided next week?" He furrows his eyebrows.

Have they stayed that long in the treehouse? He easily loses track of time and everything around Anastasia, but to that point? After what has happened there, the thought doesn't appear impossible.

"Okay, not officially." She tilts her head. "But Madison told me that Maggie, who is seeing the same surgeon as Mrs. Windsor, told her that they were all impressed by the Charity ball and how much money I gathered, particularly Mrs. Windsor," She's gushing so excitedly that she doesn't notice his edged smile with only one corner of his mouth lifted. "So it's in the bag!"

It's Anastasia who has collected the money. He keeps the comment on his tensed lips.

"Isn't it perfect?" Pamela walks to him with her confident presence, almost as if she was already on stage accepting her new role, the desk lamp for spotlight. "We'll be both at the top, getting everything we want!"

'Perfect', 'at the top', 'everything they want', the words are echoing in an empty void inside as he nods absent-mindedly. 

What does he really want?

He's far from finding an answer, and Pamela interrupts his existential questioning with her lips on his.

It isn't what he wants right now; that, he's sure, as he freezes on spot, finding more questions with the contact. Though he still kisses her back, trying to return the eagerness of her lips, which, like for her success excitement and plans, he isn't sharing. 

Actually, their mouths on each other, it doesn't feel like sharing anything, and he's already so far away. All he can think about is Anastasia and how he is losing her taste on his lips, and that's why he pulls away after barely a few too-long seconds.

He runs his tongue over his lips, but Anastasia's sweetness is already gone, and he's nipping on his bottom lip, more bothered than he should. Though he hopes to taste her again soon, and she's still permeating every other cell of his body.

"Um, I'll go rest..." He motions to his bandage to justify his dodge.

"Yeah, go! I still have a lot of work to do anyway! I have an acceptance party to organize!" Pamela smiles widely, her excitement once more not even faltering in front of his lifted eyebrow.

"Um... but you still haven't been designated?" 

"It's almost sure! And you don't organize a memorable party in so little time!" She puts her glasses on, going back to her computer with her phone in one hand and focusing as if she was dealing with businesses of the utmost importance. "First, I need a unique and sophisticated theme..."

Nate turns on his heels, giving her one last glance. "Good luck..."

He blinks a few times, trying to erase the fogginess suffocating his brain. After the high he's experienced with Anastasia, now it's the aftermath. A throbbing headache is appearing in the middle of his hazy and confused thoughts, but in all this blur, one thing is popping up: 96%. Why right now he isn't feeling a bit of this percentage?

His gaze goes back to his wife. There, sitting at her lustrous, neat desk, she is all success and perfection, yet nothing is echoing in him.

Success, appearances, and perfection, it isn't him; it's what people have always wanted him to be, a mask he has put almost his whole life and has tried to mold himself into.

"A masquerade?" He doesn't know how and why the words leave his mouth, but a seed might be planted in the back of his mind.

He isn't perfect, and for once, he is more than happy with that.

I'm back my little rays of sunshine!! 😁 Did you miss me? (Or at least Nate and Anastasia?) I sure missed you! And even if it's hard to come back home, you're here to illuminate my days 🌞❤

Anyway, what do you think of this chapter? Finally, they're accepting what they have and we have Natesia officially-unofficially 😉 What do you think will happen? Do you think they're right or totally crazy unconscious to do this? 😬

We'll see... And in the meantime, Let it be... Let it be... 🎵😏 (now I have the song stuck in my head! 😅)

Don't forget to vote and comment to let me know your view! I really need your little notifications to put back some sunshine in my life!! 😘❤🌞