*Zoe*
My sister Chloe smiles at me. We are sitting in her room playing cards. "You know you are talking about him again right ?

I blush annoyed and slams my hand on the table. "Okay that's fucking it, I'm killing him".

"Or you could man up and ask him out ?" My sister says with a cheeky grin. "All that talking about how annoying he is, tells me you like him".

Ah ah, she is so wrong, Zac just rubs me the wrong way. I don't like him, I can't like that idiot. "No k-killing..is easier and by the way he has a girlfriend".

"Yeah and so ? You said she was some gold digging whore only out to use him". My sister says, lifting one eyebrow, looking like she gets it.

I roll my eyes. "She is, but that doesn't mean he is leaving her. I mean she is some hot little Hispanic thing with boobs for brain. I can't really compete with that".

"Sure you can, because you got brain for brain and you are gorgeous too". My sister say, almost looking like she means it.

"I need some air". I get up, needing to get out of there and out on the deck. As my mom and sister each have a room in my suite, I decide to go down on the main deck instead of out on my private one.

It is pretty much deserted as the clock is near midnight, and I walk towards the railing, almost jumping out of my own skin, when I realise someone is sitting on the railing, feet dangling out above the ocean. The person is sitting so still, I had mistakenly thought him to be part of the ship.

I slowly walk closer, not wanting to scare him. I mean it isn't really safe sitting there and I don't want to scare him into falling. Why is he sitting there in the first place ? Hopefully not to jump, because I am probably the worst person to try and talk someone down from the ledge.

"What are you doing ? That isn't really a smart place to sit you know". I say walking up to stand beside him. Shit it is Zac, what is the odds ?

He don't even turn his head to look at me. "Well that is me right, the idiot. That is what you call me all the time after all. Come to gloat ?"

"Gloat ? About what ?" I don't get what he is talking about. But I get a bad feeling, he seem like someone has snuffed something out inside him.

He leans slightly forward, looking down in the water. "You were right, she was just after my money, so feel free to say I told you so".

"Oh, well I am actually sorry to be right". Shit he must have heard me muttering it when I passed them yesterday. "No one deserves that".

"Maybe I did deserve it. I mean it wasn't like I was in love with her or anything. It was another failed attempt of feeling something". He leans forward again, making my heart skip a beat.

I need to keep him talking. "Well, if it helps I had a really lousy day to. Three of my internet stores crashed, costing me a lot of money and a deal I hoped would go through soon has been postponed indefinitely".

"Well sorry to hear.. want to hear my last 24 hours ?" He asks, finally looking at me and when I nod he continues. "Well, first my girlfriend got me drunk and drugged me with ketamine, then she made me sniff coke of her naked body, filming it. Then she tricked me into marrying her. When confronted she blackmailed me for 300 grand and an hour ago the marriage was annulled. But beside that, it has been a marvellous day, well beside a head splitting hangover".

I hold up my hands in surrender. "Well you win, hands down". I honestly feel very sorry for him, but I also know that he can't use my pity right now. "At least it can only get better from here".

"Will it ? Get better I mean ? What is even the meaning of us being here ? Isn't life just us scampering through waiting for time to catch up and kill us of ?" He sigh, leaning forward again. "I wonder how it feels, dying I mean. Maybe it is a relief".

"That has to be the most depressing thing I have ever heard. I mean I know you had a hard day, but still". The pain in his voice evident.

He don't say anything for a while, he is just staring down at the waves below. "It would be so easy, no more pain, no more emptiness, just no more".

"Zac". I call out his name softly, trying to turn his attention on me. I am so scared right now, my heart is working at double speed. But I need to focus, to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. To keep talking. "Try being me for a day. My day is so filled with stress, trying to keep everything under control, and dating is like next to impossible, if I finally have the time to meet someone they are scared of my power and money".

"But you can stop working so much. It's a choice and when you meet the right guy, he won't care. He will love you for who you are and you will love him back". He says softly.

He is right of course, no doubt. "Yeah I guess so, it just don't feel that easy. But can't you do that to change things ? Is it something you want to talk about ?"

"You would think me a monster if I told you the truth. Everyone would". He says shaking his head slowly. "I am.. I am not what people think".

I look at him, try not to show how nervous and uneasy I am about all of this. "I promise unless you turn into a werewolf I won't think that. You can tell me, maybe it'll make you feel better".

"I guess as you already hate me, I can tell you the truth without much risk". He suddenly pull up his long legs and for a moment I think he will come down to stand beside me. But instead he stands up on the railing, holding on to a pole with one hand.

My breath is stuck in my throat. Shit I always prided myself on being calm and having nerves of steel, but this, well it is to much. "I don't hate you Zac, I just.. well find you annoying sometimes. Could you please come down ?"

"Why ? Would you care if I slipped ? Would anyone care ?" There is a glint in his eyes and I am scared he has gone insane. "I got it under control".

I watch him let go, standing there with his arms stretched out, looking like he gets almost some high from it. I turn on my heel. "Goodbye Zac, I am not going to stand here and watch you kill yourself".

"Wait Zoe". I hear him land on the deck, and I turn to see him walk over to me. "Okay, let's talk then, if you still want to hear it".

I look up at him, as he stops in front of me. "Okay, if you promise not to try and get yourself killed at least while we talk. Come on I got the perfect place to talk".

He follows me like a lost puppy, and I some ways he is one. Well a very big and handsome one, but there is something very lost and innocent about him. Something that makes you want to protect him.

"What the fuck is this place ?" He looks around as we enter the large room. I knew no one would be here in the middle of the night. Also it is hard for him to hurt himself in here as everything is padded.

I grin, making a grand gesture with my arm. "Well this is the ships, big indoor playground.. let yourself loose, everything has nets or is padded".

He looks like I am crazy, then he starts laughing, like really laughing, holding your stomach, tears in your eyes laughing. And it is the most amazing sound ever. When he can breathe again he looks at me. "This darling, is utterly amazing".

*Zac*
She takes my hand, pulling me along through this dimly lit, colourful world of wonder. There are slides in all shapes and colours, fake palm trees, pathways, rooms filled with colourful balls and a huge trampoline, that she pulls me into.

I flop down on my back, my hands behind my neck, watching her as she bounces slowly at the same spot. "So spill it Zac.. why are you hating yourself so much ?"

"Because I am a fraud.. Everybody seems to think that I am this great guy, well except you of course. But the truth is that I am an empty soulless shell". I admit to her, something I has never admitted to anyone.

She throws herself down next to me on her stomach, bouncing a couple of times. "A soulless shell ? Really ? Annoying yeah, cocky as hell, yup.. but soulless, I find it hard to believe".

"But I am.. you see I am incapable of loving anyone or as my ex put it, not this but the last one, I am a relationship vampire, feeding of other people's feelings, because I am not capable of feeling shit". I say biting my lip.

She roll onto her side, looking at me. "Well people say a lot of things when they are hurt or angry. I have been called both heartless and soulless by both exes and people I worked with".

"Maybe, but I realised she was right. I didn't love her and I never had. It wasn't the women's fault all my relationships has been short lived. It is me, I am the one who is broken". It had been hard to accept in the beginning.

She cock her head sideways, looking at me. "You are telling me that you never, ever loved anyone ? Never had that feeling that she might be the one ?"

"Nope, I thought I had been in love, but I have realised the reason it never turns into deeper feelings is that it is either lust or me reacting to their feelings, mirroring myself in what they feel, mistaken it for my feelings. I even married, hoping I could learn it, didn't work". I sigh, she had called me heartless actually, for doing that, and well she might be right.

Her finger is rubbing her lip in a quite distracting way, and I kick myself mentally. This is not the time for those thoughts. "Don't you think it is just about not having met the right woman ? Maybe you are one of those who has a soul mate and no one else feels right".

"How can you have a soulmate when you have no soul ? No I .. well the funny thing is that people think I am very emotional, but I realised it is all an act, I fooled even myself. I wanted so badly to feel, to be normal that I unknowingly pretended to feel all those things. As I said I am broken". I shake my head.

She is shaking her head, getting up. "I don't believe it.. it would make you a psycho, and you don't strike me as a psycho. You are telling me you don't feel anything ? No happiness, amusement, excitement... no lust for anything ?"

"Well that is kind of why I keep doing crazy and stupid things, they make me feel something, for a short while, then it just well disappear. And to be blunt, well lust too, I mean meeting a new women, I get attracted to her, I think. But after a while, mostly a short while, that new thrill is gone and well so is the relationship". I tell her.

She starts jumping. I look up at her. This is a whole new side of her and I wonder what happened. She smiles at me. "Hmm how do we fix that ? How do we make you feel ?"