(Edited 04.22.2023)

"Help me."

I didn't even have time to consider the words before my fist was already reared up and knocking the man to the ground. As soon as I had a moment to realize what I'd just done, my eyes widened and I stepped closer to help him up as he tried to scramble to his feet.

"I am so sorry! I didn't see you-" I paused as I heard the familiar sizzling noise coming from him, "Hey, wait a minute-"

"Alex! Inside!" Buffy shouted, making her way to the door. I quickly moved to head inside, but was too slow as the man took a hold of my wrist to keep me out in the sunlight.

"What part of 'help me' do you not understand?" He questioned, his accent ringing through my ears as I attempted to pull myself out of his grasp.

"The part where we help you." Buffy answered, using her strength to yank me back inside, forcing the vampire into the invisible wall that was the threshold.

"Come on! I'm--I'm parboiling out here!" He pleaded. I kicked my stake out of my boot and glanced at Giles and Buffy, who were now standing on either side of me.

"You guys sure do have a lot of supernatural friends, huh?" I asked, just to make sure this was a 'bad' vampire and not another situation like Angel.

"This one is not a friend." Buffy said, never taking her eyes off the bleach-blond vampire outside.

"Invite me in!" He begged, quite literally smoking in the sun.

"No." Buffy spoke in disgust.

"Fairly unlikely." Giles added.

"I think not." I contributed. The boiling vampire charged at the doorway, bouncing back once more at the wall, and I couldn't help but let out a chortle at the sight of him scrambling around to try and stop burning.

"Oh! Damn it!" he shouted as he ran back to the door--where it was slightly shaded--and leaned against the wooden framing. He coughed like a man who'd just escaped a burning building, and at closer inspection of his face, I could see just how unwell he truly was. His skin looked almost identical to Xander's, only difference was that I didn't care about this guy whatsoever. "Look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell 'em what I did." He looked past us and at Willow, deeper into Giles' house. She stood from her spot by the couch like it was Kindergarten story-time.

"You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy." She replied, and we all turned back to the sizzling monster outside.

"Oh, would you look at that? Evil creature is evil." I spoke sardonically and he squinted his eyes at me as if trying to figure out if he should know me or not, then looked back at Willow.

"Okay, yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you." He said and I let out a sigh as we all turned back to Willow.

"It's true." She answered simply. "He had trouble performing." She continued. We turned our attention back to the vampire once more.

"Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good." He added. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to understand just exactly what he was saying. He's a vampire who can't suck blood?

"Um," Giles interjected, leaning on the doorframe on the side of the man, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore." The vampire, Spike, I'd assume, explained. "I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people." As much as I wanted to test his words out, the thought of it only working on humans crossed my mind, and I backed up a step.

"So, you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals!" Buffy exclaimed, filled with sarcasm.

"Remember, Buffy, Sarcasm solves nothing." I quoted herself to her, only in an equally sarcastic tone. Spike went silent in thought for a moment before he perked up and looked at all of us once more.

"I've got information. About those soldier boys, you were fighting. I've got the inside scoop." The bribe certainly had my gears going, as I looked to the two as if for permission. "Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?" He challenged and I stepped in between the two.

"If something goes wrong, you can both eat me alive." I said to them, stepping outside of the door and taking a hold of the vampire by the collar of his shirt. "Come in." I invited him, harshly yanking him inside the door. I paused, looking up at Giles. "Do you have any more of that rope?"

☥

"Is this really all necessary?" Spike questioned as I tied him to Giles' chair with as many knots as I knew to tie. I paused, making sure I was level with his face to respond.

"You're a soulless creature that eats people alive. Yes, this is necessary." I answered monotonously before returning to the tying. I'd tied his hands and feet and was currently tying the rope around his chest to keep him attached to the chair like it was his own body. He wiggled against the rope, trying to get some room, to which I pulled it back tighter.

"Ow!" He shouted. "Bloody Hell, woman, you're cutting off my circulation!" He whined.

"Oh, don't be a baby." I rolled my eyes. "Besides, you look like you're into things. Think of it as foreplay." I suggested, continuing my knots.

"Foreplay to what?" He scoffed.

"Me not staking you if you're lucky." I cocked my head at him. He glowered at me, doing another short shimmy.

"Well, it pinches." He muttered.

"Get used to it." Buffy cut in, standing in front of us. I stood up straight after finishing the last knot, sitting in the seat closest to the vampire that wasn't being taken up by Xander's ill body so that I could keep my eye on the thing. "We have more important things to worry about."

"I came to you in friendship." The bloodsucker spoke in offense, then thought twice about the words. "Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information and I feel I'm being mistreated." I let out a scoff.

"What? You want a back massage and a few innocent people to eat?" I questioned but noticed the small hint of a smile as he thought about the idea and rolled my eyes. "How about you just tell us what you know?"

"I'm too hungry to remember everything." He replied, looking into my eyes with feigned innocence. I let out a hum.

"Then sit." Buffy lightly smacked his head, moving to the kitchen.

"You guys got any books on him? I don't think I've ever fought one like this." I requested, standing from my seat and heading over to where Giles was zoned out next to his desk. "You okay, G?" I asked.

"Oh, um, yes." He pointed to one of his many bookcases. "Third shelf, full of tales of William the Bloody." He said in disgust at the name and I nodded, heading over to the case and grabbing one of the books off the third shelf.

"Um, how much butter goes in with these?" Anya asked from the kitchen, where she was helping Buffy make the dinner.

"About a half a stick and a quarter cup of brandy." Buffy instructed as I began to skim the pages of the book, stopping at the sight of the name Giles had said. William the Bloody. "You do have brandy, don't you?" Once again, Giles had zoned out, and slid off his glasses as Buffy questioned him.

"What?" He asked, then realized, looking around. "Uh, oh, uh, yes. Um, on the, uh, bookcase." He stuttered as if trying to remember where he'd put it himself and pointed at the bookcase I was just shuffling through.

"I wouldn't say no to a brandy." Said Spike from his spot.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked, drawing my attention back to her and Giles. I hadn't really thought of his phases seeing as I didn't know him all too well, but her being concerned gave way to me being concerned.

"The victims. Apart from Xander, Hus had targeted authority figures. Father Gabriel, the curator of the Cultural Center. Who else fits this pattern?" He explained.

"Just a small brandy." Spike continued, and somehow I found myself growing amused at his attitude and comfortable, relaxed aura, despite being tied up and threatened with stakes.

"The Dean. Dean Guerrero. I mean, he-he's the king of us, and he was at the ceremony." Buffy answered Giles' question, not even giving Spike a glance at the requests.

"Likely candidate. We should warn him." Giles suggested and I looked back down at the page. Finding out he was named Spike for his preferred method of torture that happened to be... With railroad spikes. I looked back up at the bleach blond, squinting. This guy? Mr. It-Pinches tortures people with railroad spikes?

"I'm not buying it." I muttered to myself, shutting the book and putting it back on the shelf.

"Will, anything in those books about how to stop a Native American spirit guy?" Buffy questioned, making her way to Willow as the redhead stood to meet her. "Some nice, non-judgemental way to, you know, kill him?"

"I'm not going to help you kill him! I'm not on board!" She replied, picking up her books as if to keep them away from Buffy looking for the way to kill the spirit.

"Will, what choice do we have?" Buffy asked.

"Does anyone know where his bones are? Maybe in the pit Xander fell in? I say we salt and burn them and, boom, jobs done." I shrugged.

"Guys, this isn't a Western. We're not at Fort... Giles with the cavalry coming to save us. It's one lonely guy. Oppressed warrior guy who-who's just trying to-"

"Kill a lot of people?" Buffy cut in.

"Well, I didn't say he was right." The redhead replied.

"Okay, and what do we do when he starts waking up his other wronged Native friends and they all come to kill the entire town?" I asked, standing up. "This isn't a fairytale either. I respect your input, but we need to be rational adults about this. It's kill or be killed when it comes to vengeance." I continued, definitely not gaining any applause from Willow.

"Will, you know how bad I feel about this, okay? It's eating me up--" Buffy turned to Anya, who'd made her way into the living space to grab the bottle of brandy, "A quarter cup of brandy and let it simmer." She turned back to Willow. "But Alex is right. Even though it's hard, we have to end this. Yes, he's been wronged, and I personally would be ready to apologize, but I-"

"Oh, someone put a stake in me." Spike cut her short, earning everyone's attention from the room.

"You got a lot of volunteers here." Xander spoke with a weak voice, but still, plenty of humor, to which I grabbed my stake back out of my boot, ready to grant the request.

"I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boohooing about the bloody Indians."

"Uh, the preferred term-" Willow began, once again being interrupted.

"You won, all right? You came in, and you killed them, and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying 'I came, I conquered, I feel really bad about it'." His words genuinely caused a chuckle to escape my mouth, before I quickly shut my jaw. "The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story." He rolled his eyes as he looked away from the two girls. I never really considered agreeing with the things that came out of a vampire's mouth... Until now.

"Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of--" Willow glanced over at Buffy, causing the blonde to pause and reconsider the words. "Not that I don't like Spaniards!"

"Listen to you! How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?" Spike asked and I nodded, ready to go hunt this spirit.

"We don't want to fight anyone!" Willow exclaimed.

"I just wanna have Thanksgiving." Buffy replied.

"I wanna fight somebody." I shrugged. The group glanced at me and Spike began to chuckle.

"Yeah... Good luck." He scoffed.

"W--If we could talk to him--"

"You exterminated his race! What could you possibly say that would make him feel better?" His buttery voice rolled off the tongue easily, the accent adding a nice flare to the whole thing. "Your new friend was right. It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick." He said, giving a nod in my direction, which somehow made me feel better about my choice of words.

"Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... Some of that made sense." Added Xander.

"I made a lot of these points earlier, but fine. Nobody listens to me." Giles said and I shot him a half-hearted smile.

"Fine, okay? But someone still has to fo warn the Dean." Agreed the Slayer, glancing around at us in a question of who would be the one to go.

"I'll go." Willow answered. "I need the air."

"Not alone." Buffy warned, and before I could offer my assistance, Anya replied.

"I'll go." She said, and I shrugged it off. Considering how many times I'd needed saving from Buffy in the last month, I wasn't going to argue.

"Me too." Xander added, attempting--very poorly--to get up from the couch.

"How far do you think you'll be able to get, Xan?" I questioned, earning myself a short glare.

"Oh, leave that one. He looks like he's ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead." Said Spike, prying away from the ropes to try and get a good look at Xander's condition. Xander looked at me with a pressed smile.

"I'm up to it." Was all he said as he got to his feet and made his way to Willow and Anya by the front door.

"I'll, erhm, keep on looking for a solution." Giles stuttered as he waved to the girls.

"Yeah. Guys, the Dean's house is up past the gym. And hurry--dinner's in an hour!" Buffy called at them as they left. I shrugged, taking Xander's spot on the couch before turning back around to the annoying creature tied up.

"So, back to the soldier boys..." I trailed off.

"I already told you-"

"So, if we get you some blood, you'll spill?" I questioned, being as vague as possible for a specific reason. He seemed to think about it a moment, narrowing his eyes to try and understand the plan brewing in my mind.

"Yes." He agreed after a moment, which I nodded to.

"Excellent."

☥

"Even though I know--I suppose I'll show

All my cool and cold-like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one, tell me there's no other one

Jesus was an only son"

-The Smashing Pumpkins