Yeah yeah yeah.... I'm alive surprise surprise. Frick off I'm here my Gucci Monsters.. also, I plan for this book to be based in the Love Yourself Tear era cuz BOI THEIR HAIR THO

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Taehyung pov
Friday 13
11:11am

"Listen up, you guys. I just got off the phone with my cousin and she says that she's gonna come over for a visit. Don't do anything stupid," I threw a warning glare at Jimin. "Don't flirt with her because you KNOW she's a lesbian and she happily engaged to be married to YOUR step sister, Jimin," I said sharply.

"Are you even talking to us anymore? Seems like you're telling Jimin rather than the rest of us," Jeongguk says, his hands folded on his lap.

"The point is, my cousin and her fiancee's gang is coming over so don't be stupid for once,"

"For once? When have you ever seen us doing, like, a cartwheel and the nae nae before shooting or stabbing someone?" Hoseok asked, obviously trying to hide his chuckle. The others laughed hysterically while I rolled my eyes, a small smile working it's way to my face.

"Shut up. You know what I mean,"

"Yeah yeah. So basically, don't scare away our source of escape and weapons," Namjoon said humourously. I nodded and walked out of the room and down the hallway into my shared bedroom.

A/n: quick note, the rooming goes like this: TaeGguk, Jihope, Namjin, and Yoongi... that's all for now

I plopped onto my bed with my back pressed to the fluffy burgundy sheets. I drummed my long fingers on my stomach in pure boredom before deciding to use my phone. I opened my web and typed 'dirty jokes' in the search bar. Once the page loaded, I clicked on the images bar and started scrolling.

I laughed my Gucci ass off so hard that I was on the ground holding my horribly aching sides, finding it extremely hard to breathe. I saved the image and sent it to the guys before looking for more.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure!

Dad: Pussy

Son: I don't get it...

Dad: Exactly
A/n: I actually found this one online.. so ctto

I sent that one to Jin, Namjoon, and Jeongguk specifically cuz I know it's true in their case. A few seconds later I was hiding in my closet as I heard Jeongguk screaming.

"KIM TAEHYUNG I SWEAR TO THE HOLY IRON MAN I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU PULL SOME FUCKED UP SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!" Followed by him slamming our bedroom door open. I covered my mouth and put my phone on silent as I watched him search for me. From down the hallway I can still her Namjin laughing like maniacs. I almost laughed aloud when I heard Jeongguk whine, "We're brothers... brothers don't send things like that to their parents". What made it worse was when YoonGi walked past our open door and said,

"Quit whining. You know it's true," I lost it and doubled over with tears streaming down my red face. I saw Jeongguk's head snap in my direction and heard his almost running pace to reach my hiding spot. Once he reached the handle, he didn't hesitate to swing open the door and pull me out. I just laughed and he pinned me to the floor with me blocking my ribs from his wrestle attempts. I tried to wiggle my way from underneath him only to fail miserably and left with the only option to fight him back. I wrapped my legs around his waist and flipped us around so that our positions were switched. I had gained my breath back and I watched as he laughed, his bunny teeth on full display. I was getting ready to tickle the shit out of the bunny boy under me before a loud knocking echoed the house. I jumped up and ran to the front door, crashing into the wall on my way. (Just think how Jeongguk did in Fake Love).

"Who is it?!" I yelled, my forehead pressed to the glossy wood, hand on the shiny silver knob.

"It's your mother. Open the damn door cous," Hyuna said from the other side. I smiled as I opened the door, revealing my cousin and future cousin in law. I hugged my cousin then Jae Ra, and finally pet Mocha. The smol doggo licked my hand and went on to sniffing my pants.

"So, what's up? What's been going on? How are you guys?" I bombarded with questions, truly excited to see the two and their dog.

"Not much since you guys haven't been up to much lately. But judging by how Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin are being secretive in the kitchen, you're planning something big," Hyuna said, shaking her head at the men before turning to me. "We've been really good, actually. Um, Jae just sealed a three million dollar offer with NCT so... financially we're perfect. Uh.. the wedding is in six months,"

"And we wanted to talk to you about that, actually," Jae said, her eyes darting between me and her brother.

"Well, what's up? Did something change?" I asked, taking full notice of her constantly moving eyes.

"We, uh, we want you to be the best man. The only problem is, Jimin is my brother and we want to find a way to... incorporate him into one of the more... important positions at the wedding. Obviously not as one of the wedded, but still," Jae Ra spoke in a hushed voice. A small smile crept onto my face.

"Then let him be the best man. Aren't brothers more important than cousins?" I chuckled. Hyuna placed her hand on my knee as she spoke.

"I really want you to be right next to me the whole time, though. Not only are you my cousin, you are my best friend," she said, staring me in the eye.

"One, you're the bride so I would be by Jae's side, two, it's YOUR wedding. You can make it how so you fancy it," I said.

"I mean, you could walk me down the aisle since Appa passed away," my cousin muttered. I pat her head.

"There you go! I'll still be an important role in your wedding and Jimin gets to be the best man!" Hyuna smiled and removed her hand from my knee and leaned on Jae.

"What are y'all talking about?" Jeongguk asked, jumping on me, causing an agonized groan escape my lips.

"BITCH YOU JUST ELBOWED TINY TAE!!!" I screamed at him. The boy only shrugged as I ran my fingers through my lengthening black-brown hair.

"You are a family crusher. Literally!" I cried out in pain as he lifted himself onto his elbow, crushing my dick even more than it currently was. I almost slapped the smug smirk off his face but was in too much pain to move.

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Let me know how it was and what you guys want for the next chapter! Maybe a fight or a heist or a murder... Don't forget to vote and comment!!! This chapter was published WAY later than I originally planned... how about this, if I can get at least two votes and a funny joke or comment, I'll double upload later today??? Again, sorry I haven't updated lately.. I'm in Las Vegas right now and I have so much to do. I love you guys! Support BTS forever!!! Goodnight my Gucci Monsters!

1232 words!!!!