Messenger
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Kuya Dwight

June 11, 2020 AT 2:20 AM

kuya

Yeah? You need something? Should I go there?

no need

bat gising ka pa

I could ask you the same question

mateo and i took turns

ako naman magbabantay kay kino

in case he tries to escape the hospital again

i'm sorry sa past actions ko

you had to take care of me

dumagdag pa ako

i'm not emotionally strong pala haha

Kapatid kita Niko

Malamang aalagaan kita

di ko deserve kuya

i feel ashamed

hindi naman magkakaganyan si kino

if only i knew he was struggling

if only i knew his smiles were fake

if only i knew he had big problems sa bahay nila

if only we hadn't had that argument

sa bahay sana sila matutulog

then he and his mom wouldn't have to fight

hindi na sana kinailangan pumunta ni kino kay alena

kuya ako may kasalanan lahat

i should've checked up on him

i should've known he needs help

i should've known better

i should've done better

kuya what do i do

i hurt my best friend badly

so bad he almost didn't make it

and i'm hurting phoebe too

she's leaving me messages for days pero
hindi ko magawang magreply

gusto ko siyang kausapin

but im too ashamed kuya

it's also been a week since i last replied to her

i'm scared

baka hindi na niya na ako mahalin uli

kasi may kasalanan ako

i can't love her like this

i can't give myself to her like this

guilty

ashamed

broken

i can't give this filthy pieces of me to her

kuya i don't know what to do

i don't deserve to be hurt like this kasi ako naman may kasalanan

hahaha wait kakalma lang ako

i think i'm going to have another breakdown

magccr lang ako

ayokong makita ako ni kino ng ganito

i have to be strong for him

kuya hindi naman ako iyakin eh pero ewan ko bakit halos araw araw umiiyak ako

dami ko palang luhang napproduce kuya haha may sira na yata tear glands ko

sana ako na lang kuya

sana ako na lang, hindi na si kino

ako dapat yun eh

kino didn't do anything wrong

ako dapat

Shh

Don't say that

I'm coming there and I won't take no for an answer

kuya

i need you

I know, I know

I'm coming, okay?

Remember to breathe

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Twitter
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niko 🔒
@niko_g

fuck emotions. fuck being vulnerable. much better to be that happy go lucky person. hindi nagagalit. hindi nasasaktan. hindi nadadala ng emosyon.

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niko 🔒
@niko_g

be strong niko. kailangan ka ni kino.

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niko 🔒
@niko_g

from now on wear that mask. okay ka lang niko. you're optimistic, you'll bring that light kino needs.

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niko 🔒
@niko_g

hide all emotions besides happiness. who would want to see me vulnerable? wala. kaya conceal all emotions. you're better off that way.

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