~ Love may have the longest arms, but it can still fall short of an embrace. ~

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Important note: The chapter which was previously marked as Chapter 7 is CHAPTER 4 now. The CURRENT CHAPTER 7 was previously marked as Chapter 12 and 14. If there is still any confusion, feel free to PM me and ask away:)

                           ***

The bell went off shortly after the recess was signalled to end.
"All right ... That was pretty awkward, "states Naomi.

"What was awkward ?" Nick stares at his girlfriend in confusion.

"Are you fucking blind babe? You didn't see how the new guy just came up and started talking to June." She says pointing at me.

"She already made it very clear to him that the seat next to her had been taken yet he pretended that nothing had happened as he sat next to her. What a jerk!" She scoffs.

Since he sat down until now, Ricky hasn't said anything.
"What did he really want from you?" Ricky asks.

I didn't know how to react. Because I was rather confused about why he came and sat next to me. So, in answer, I simply shrugged my shoulders.

“June, do you know him?” Ricky questions me again.

Why would he be like this? He should know that I don't know this new guy, of all people. He is hanging out with me almost all the time. Is he jealous? Well, I do doubt that heavily. It's more like wishful thinking.

"I don't know Ricky. Today is the school's first day and this is his first day in a new school. How the fuck should I know him?" I snap back at Ricky.

Though I regretted instantly as soon as the words flew out of my mouth. But I didn't reveal it. Instead, I left the cafeteria and walked up to my locker.

I heard footsteps behind me.

I knew that Ricky was going to come after me.

“Hey, June! Slow down, girl.” I hear Naomi’s voice from a distance calling me.

I turn around and indeed it is Naomi walking towards me.

Wow. So much for thinking Ricky is coming after me.

When she catches up to me, we both head in the direction of the lockers.

"Chill babe. You know Ricky just asked. He didn't mean anything else." She says as she is leaning against her locker and facing me.

"And I think that his name is Alexander and his friend-

"Alexander?" I look at her in confusion. "Who the fuck is Alexander now?" I'm asking her.

She huffs out a breath of annoyance. "June what have you been doing today during your classes? Almost every class I have had students whispering about him amongst themselves. Alexander, the new student with white hair." She says that as she points to her hair.

Oh, so he is Alexander.

"I've just been busy doing things," I respond. "During all my classes, I was kind of zoned out. I was fucking bored." She snorts at my reply.

I don't know why this shocked me. So what if we had good looking guys joining our year? Do I need to ogle at them? And, like us, they are students too. I don't understand why a myth like that exists. They were not celebrities. I know that type of guys very well, too. Just because they are good looking, they are popular. This is it. Other than that, no one seems to care even if they're jerks. I can imagine what it will be like for Alexander already. All the girls are about to kiss his ass. Desperate! So, he'll be just another egoistic, arrogant dick, nothing new.

"I found him pretty rude," I admit to Naomi. "You know just how he behaved like he owned the school or something. And he even snapped at Nick! How do you forget this?" I have a confrontation with her.

"Nick ought not to have intervened! Duh!!" She throws her hands up in the air.

"I was really interested in seeing where the conversation was going. Did you even know that when he walked straight up to our table and sat next to you all the girls were jealous of you? He's hot hot, all right? You just can't deny it. What if he likes you or whatever?" She squeals in delight and I could already see how her eyes shone and it looked dreamy. Evidently, she is already thinking about my date!

"It doesn't matter. I like someone else already," I softly whisper that I don't realise the words I've just spoken. My eyes widen upon realisation and she has her mouth wide open in shock when I turn my attention to Naomi.

"What.the.fuck?" She scoffs. "Who is it? Why did you not tell me sooner?" With disappointment, she looks at me.

"There's absolutely nothing to say. It's just not necessary. Forget that.''

"No, honey. You're not just dropping a bomb like that and trying to get away from the conversation without giving me a name," she says smirking at me. "So, who's it?"

“Ricky.”

“You mean as in our Ricky?" she slowly inquires.

“How many do you know besides him?” I laugh at her.

"Whattttt???!! Omg!! So exciting. Yayyyy!!!! I am so happy in June. Does Ricky know? Do you understand how fun that's going to be? We can all four go on double dates. I've always been secretly rooting for both you and Ricky, but then, over the years, you guys just remained as friends and I thought nothing was ever going to happen. But now it's going to be terrific." She carries on blabbering.
She looks so happy and I just wish only if it was real.

"Let's go, Naomi. We're going to be late for class." Instead, I tug her arm and pull it toward the classroom.

                           ***

I couldn't wait to go home and change into my comfortable clothes after school was finally over, and watch Netflix. It's just school's first day and there wasn't a lot of anxiety. But I knew things will get pretty stressful within a month or so, since its senior year. So I'll be lazy and waste my time as much as I can, and enjoy it to the fullest. I am sure that my parents will soon hire a private tutor for me. It's not like when it came to academics I was a total loser nor was I the brightest bulb in the class. I'm lying in the average range somewhere I suppose. I still don't have any college plans and don't know when to decide. Parents usually also try to have a say in this kind of thing, but I think it's better not to expect any support from my parents.

I look around and remember Naomi left an hour early because she wasn't feeling well. Nick left soon after as he was worried about her. So I am basically riding less right now since Nick drove me to school. I can always call Ricky but I decided against it. I could just walk up to the gate and call for a cab or something. As I started to walk in the direction I was heading a car suddenly zoomed past me and then stopped a few metres away. Then a figure came out of the passenger's seat and I recognised him instantly before even the figure turned.

What does he want now?

"Hi, June. Need a ride?" He asks me politely, as though he knew me.

"I don't even know your name. I wouldn't feel comfortable getting into a person's car that's pretty much a stranger to me. And even if I said I knew your name, my answer would still be a no." I answer back with a sickly sweet smile and start walking ahead.

Before I know it, he's standing opposite of me and blocking my way. "Stop being stubborn. I offered only a ride because it looks like it would rain in the near future." I looked up at the sky and it looked like the sky was smeared with dark charcoal of angry grey clouds that couldn't wait to explore.

"It's just a car ride. Stop overthinking now," he continues.

Well, a ride won't hurt. And who knows how long a cab will take to arrive. I better not take my chances in this weather.

"Yeah, okay .. then," I reluctantly agree. He goes ahead and opens the door to the passenger seat. As I saw his friend sitting in the driving seat I shrieked in terror.

"Calm down woman. I was just about to leave." He winks at me and opens the door to his side.

If he leaves then how does he get home?

"Wait!" I call after him. "How are you going to get home? Why are you leaving?"

He laughs at my question. "Don't worry beautiful, I'm just going to manage well. Alex will take you home," he says and leaves after waving goodbye to me.

Alex then gets into the driving seat and turns on the ignition.

"So ... you must be Alexander?" I ask him.

"You've worked my name out June," he says.

"Why did you want to sit over lunch with us?"

"You mean why I wanted to sit next to you? I don't care who else was sitting beside you in that table." He says quietly.

"But why?"

He dodged my question with another puzzle. Smirking he says, "That's for me to know and for you to figure out."

We were already driving through the school gates. I didn't want to engage with him in any further conversation so I simply turned my attention outside the window to the scenery.

                       ~~~~~~

We're here," Alexander's voice breaks my thoughts.

I look around at the surrounding area and yes, I was home. In the end, the fifteen-minute short ride to my house felt like it lasted hours. The car ride was, to say the least, uncomfortable and awkward.

Many times by talking or switching on the stereo I wanted to break the silence, but I didn't want him to know how strange he makes me feel. I am also upset with him at the stunt he pulled during lunch earlier today. No clarification on that as well. It's just I have never been so much influenced by the presence of anyone. He's a complete stranger and thanks to Naomi the only thing I seem to know about him is his name. I've spent my whole life here and I have never seen him before. He must have moved from somewhere and ended up here, in this godforsaken place.

For all I know, he might be a thief or murderer. Why do I have this peculiar pull towards him then? His cocky smirk looks too familiar but I wasn't able to pinpoint where I saw it. Why? And I like Ricky so why it makes me feel bad just to think of Alexander. Am I being drawn to both of them? But that is such a bitchy feeling and makes me feel some kind of hoe. I think I need to talk and clear things out with Ricky. I yelled at him earlier during lunch and I guess I was sort of exaggerating. And on one side note, as much as possible I must avoid this Alexander guy. The less I know about him, the better.

"June, you all right?" Alexander touches my shoulder and I flinch at his touch. It was electrifying. All across my body, I could feel the tingling sensations. Goosebumps began to appear on my arms and legs but I didn't feel afraid. In fact, I think I kinda liked it.

Stupid hormones.

'' Y- yy- yeah I am all good. Thanks for the ride." I turn around and give him a little smile.

Why did I just stutter? Is he making me feel nervous? I turn back and get off the car but I feel his hand grab my wrist.

''Hey wait!'' he calls me. Once he is confirmed that he has my full attention, he continues, ''I have to ask you something."

"Oh, all right. But first of all, let go of my wrist. And don't put your hands on me without my consent from the next time, even if it's as simple as grabbing my wrist. I don't like it." I explain, and he slowly releases his hold on my wrist.

"Now, shoot. Ask whatever you want cause I am in a rush."

He grins sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck. "Umm ... so are you and that Ricky guy a thing?"

I am taken aback by his question. Why would he like to know my relationship with Ricky? Why does he even ask in the first place? Was Naomi right? Does he have a thing for me?

"Why are you asking? You didn't even mention your name to me" Instead, I query back.

"But you already know that! So, what's the difference?" He looks at me raising his eyebrow.

"Really? Then what about your last name? Where do you come from? You don't seem like you're from around here."

He chuckles at the train of questions I bombarded him with.
"What are we playing now? Twenty questions?"

"Don't dodge the questions. Answer them." I say.

''You answer mine first, then I will answer yours. Fair enough?" he asks me.

I do not know what compelled me to admit my secret to a person who was practically a stranger to me but I did. Then the moment I blurted out the truth, I almost immediately regretted my actions. ''We are childhood friends and both of our moms were high school classmates."

''That's it?''

"No, I like him...' I pause and look straight ahead as if the chrysanthemums suddenly seem very interesting. "More than a friend," I whisper softly and I almost thought he missed what I said but when I finally tear my gaze from the flowers and look into his eyes, his stubborn gaze and emotionless stoic face tell me he heard what I said – loud and clear.

After that, he doesn't seem to want to talk as he continues to stare ahead while holding the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. Taking that as my cue, I open the door and get out of the vehicle.

"Heart," he says breaking the silence, eventually.

I furrow my brows and look back at him in surprise.

"My last name. Heart. Alexander Jordan Heart."

                           ***

ALEXANDER

"My last name. Heart. Alexander Jordan Heart."

I finally say it out loud to her. She does not answer that, but marches straight to the house, slamming the front door shut behind her rather loudly. I wait for a couple of minutes before I start to drive back to my place.

I missed her so much. Today was a relatively eventful one. Earlier today, as I walked with Scott through the corridors, I could feel her looking at me with curiosity. There were so many girls gawking at us both but all I cared about was her. I'm sure she must have felt something too.

I kept staring at her back or at her side as she sat zoned out in all classes. She did not even notice me. Then again, I know that during lunch I was not supposed to have acted like a jerk, but I just wanted to talk to her. And now even though she was so close to me, I still couldn't even touch her.

So near yet so far.

Why does it still hurt so much then? Why do I feel like someone has set my insides on fire and is tearing me apart from inside? My heart hurts so much. Such excruciating pain I am feeling that I do not know how long I can carry on like this. Often it feels like a thousand needles are piercing my insides and all I had was the box of memories whenever I missed her.

You spend a lifetime with somebody and then, one day, they don't know you. I haven't felt such horrific suffering even in wars. But in the end, I found her, although I'm nothing but a stranger to her. Is she going to fall in love again? Or do I need to carry this pain in my heart for the rest of eternity?

My heart is exhausted, Autumn. I am tired.

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~XOXO

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