~ Faith is unseen but felt, faith is strengthened when we feel we have none, faith is hope when all seems lost. ~

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Important note: The chapter which was previously marked as Chapter 11 is CHAPTER 6 now. The CURRENT CHAPTER 11 was previously marked as Chapter 18 (part II). If there is still any confusion while reading, feel free to PM and ask away:)

                         ***

After school, Naomi tagged back home with me. Today everyone at school was excited about the party at Derek's tonight. I know some of you might wonder why so much hype for just a party but tonight's was different. Tonight is the first part of the year after almost two months of reopening school and it's strictly for seniors only.

We wanted to pamper ourselves shaving and exfoliating the entire day, putting face masks on and calling a nearby parlour employee who took care of our hands and legs. Naomi also went out to call a masseuse claiming her body needed all the treatment so she could work with Nick on her actions tonight. Kudos to you guys who have understood the meaning of what I meant and for those who haven't, well, you guys know what to work at!

I declined to go to the party initially but Naomi did not take a no for an answer. There were two explanations for that and I think that they made perfect sense.

Firstly, I'm on my period and it's the first day, which means I'm like an angry tigress who can be better compared to a ticking time bomb. I questioned heavily that someone wanted to be the cause if I were to explode and, secondly, I still didn't wrap my head around the shenanigans that I pulled around during the last party. Let's not forget that video of mine that circulated all over and I trended for a couple of days.

Even though my friends thought it was hilarious, the humiliation I felt for my reckless actions is still not over.

"So what do you think of this one?" Naomi asks as she emerges for the nth time from my wardrobe, trying out another outfit.

This dress was absolutely amazing. A plain aquamarine blue tube dress that complimented her curvy figure and she planned to use a simple gold pendant and earrings to accessorise it. I wish I was as pretty as her or had ivory coloured skin like her at least. She said she wants to leave her hair open tonight, and let the curls naturally fall down.

She looked at the outfit I had picked up for tonight and shook her head like a madwoman in frenzy. "No no no, you're not going dressed in jeans and top to that party," she frowned. "You will look like you're going to an audition to become a nun," she sighed dramatically.

Then she went back to my wardrobe again and a few minutes later, re-emerging with a denim fit and flare mini skirt and a cream-coloured silky sleeveless shell top. The back of the top was held almost backless by two strings in a crisscrossed pattern that was to be tied at the ends together.

"Uh-huh I don't think so," I shake my head. "I don't want a repeat telecast of last time. This time who knows the bra might be missing too," I internally shuddered thinking.

At my reply, Naomi bursts into fits of laughter. ''Is that why you are being all Mother Teresa today?" she chuckles. "C'mon it was just a video and we all know why Amber captioned it that way. She was simply jealous of the extra attention you were receiving that night," she replies nonchalantly.

Amber Summers is the queen bee of our school. Typical high school stuff that everyone goes through. The only two differences are she is from the dance club, not the cheerleading squad and she claims to be of a superior race than us- so she doesn't date any of the guys from our school. Ever.

"You don't understand how humiliated I felt," I explained. "And Ricky thought it was kinda reckless on my part too but he didn't say much," I stated defeated with a grim expression on my face.

"Argh!! Cheer up now. I am not listening to any of your bullshit tonight," she says. "Now go hurry and change into the clothes your best friend in the entire world just picked for you."

She hands me the skirt along with the top and pushes me towards the closet. I inspected my look in the mirror after I was finished adjusting and I have to admit Naomi really has good taste. The skirt wasn't tightly fitted which gave my legs enough space to breathe, and while the front of the top was a little low cut and showed some of my cleavages, I still thought it was modest and good enough. I took a pair of red blood-coloured heels from the section of the shoe and fastened the thin belt around my ankles. I was at least a couple inches taller than before when naturally  I am 5'9''.

I came out of the closet and released a breath that I didn't realise I was holding when Naomi turned to look at me and squealed delightfully, clapping her hands together in excitement.

"You look frickin' amazing, J!" She exclaims. ''Ricky will be drooling all over those long legs tonight," she says emphasizing the word long.

''I have had the same pair of legs my whole life. If he wasn't into me all these years, what makes you think tonight is going to be any different?'' I reply grumpily.

"Quit with the pity party already. Tonight you Miss Morrison-", she says pointing her finger at me, "will be the showstopper. Not even Ricky will be able to resist your alluring beauty,'' she winks at me.

''Now shoo go get out of your dress and change back into a bathrobe quickly," she demands. Glancing at the time on her phone screen, she says, "It's seven already and we need to leave by nine.''

"Why should I change back to a bathrobe?'' I asked looking at her in confusion.

"Cause dummy we still haven't done our makeup and hair and tonight I will be doing yours," she says rolling her eyes. "So if you don't hurry I will get delayed too."

It's 9:40 right now and both Naomi and I have already downed an expensive bottle of wine which we sneakily borrowed, more like stole from my father's wine collection. We have done our makeup and hair and I really loved how Naomi has done a smokey eye on me which made my jade coloured eyes pop out making it seem more vibrant and lively. I chose to go with a nude coloured shade lipstick today cause red felt like calling for too much attention and my heels have enough of red on them already. I tied up my blond hair into a high ponytail, letting few strands fall on the sides of my face and paired with heavy gold hoop earrings.

A car horn honked from the driveway and we knew it was our cue to leave. Naomi left the house bringing along another bottle of wine with us to the car and the three of us jammed to the songs of Rihanna from the 2010s. Yeah, alright I am a sucker for her old songs. Now stop judging me already. Also, after a light-hearted debate on who would be the designated driver tonight, the car finally came to a halt in front of a mansion.

"Ask Ricky to be the designated driver please,'' Nick pleaded. ''I was planning to drink my ass off tonight. C'mon who comes to a party planning to stay sober." He exclaimed.

Naomi giggled at her boyfriend's dilemma. She must be already feeling a little tipsy like me. ''Both J and I have already drunk at home babe," she lets out a cheeky grin. "So now it's up to both you and Ricky who wants to be a responsible man tonight,'' she declares.

Nick looks at me silently pleading to intervene and help him. I shake my head at him further sprinkling more salt on his wounds.

"Ricky just appeared for his SATs yesterday and he has been more stressed than the three of us for the last two months. I think he deserves a break tonight."

"My thoughts exactly," Naomi exclaims and nods her head at me in agreement. "Babe looks like you will be drinking only Cola tonight."

                             ***

As soon as we step inside the house, my nostrils were assaulted by the strong stench of sweat, alcohol and marijuana and I nearly gagged. People were scattered all throughout the living room especially smoking pot. Munchies were spread out on the dining table and most of them were attacked by people, particularly the stoners. Or at least it looked to me like it was. Loud music boomed from the backyard and as we headed in that direction we could eventually see everyone dancing outside. The host also went out of his way to ensure that the lighting was in sync with the rest of the decorations. This party seemed crazy.

Just then a tall muscular guy approaches the three of us and beams at Nick. "Hey, bruh! You finally got here." Then next, he greets Naomi and finally turns towards me.

Sensing my confusion due to lack of introduction, he puts his hand forward and says, "Hey I am Derek."

Oh, so he is Derek.

That means it's him who threw this party. He is a senior like us but I have never seen him before at school. Weird, I thought.

"Hi, I am- "

"of June. I know," he says.

He even knows my name.

"I mean Ricky talks about you all the time so... " he explains himself scratching the back of his neck.

Oh!

"Nice to meet you, Derek," I take his hand and shake it in a firm handshake.

Later we went with Derek and he introduced us to some of his other school friends. He looked like a nice guy. I totally got from him the typical blond neighbour next door kinda vibes. Ricky joined us after an hour since he reached the party late. I lost track of how much alcohol I had been consuming.

I excused myself to get a glass of water from the kitchen after an intense game of beer pong. Somehow I managed to climb the few stairs in that drunk, unbalanced state and found my way to the kitchen after avoiding tripping or bumping into anyone and made a few stops where I had such a strong urge to puke but it was just another false alarm.

I downed an entire glass of water and started to feel a little better. Just as I was about to leave the kitchen, a voice spoke behind me.

"You shouldn't drink too much if someone has to take care of you at the end of the night."

Closing my eyes shut, I pinched the bridge of my nose and exhaled heavily. Turning around, I stood facing a very delicious looking Greek God who was looking down at me mirroring a stern expression on his face.

I did not admit he is delicious looking, okay. I am drunk and I'll not take responsibility for my traitorous thoughts.

''Forgive me, father. I will remember to take your permission from next time," I reply, my voice laced with heavy sarcasm.

His eyes scan my entire body from top to bottom and finally settles on my face. When my jade coloured eyes meet his soft brown eyes, I noticed how his pupils were slightly dilated and I wished I could make sense of the look in his eyes. It was so much more than just lust and there was this curiosity to find out.

Alexander just waltzed into our lives and I will never let any man have that kind of power over me. The queer feeling of being watched and followed have already sent me over the edge since senior year started and I had this gut feeling that it had something to do with Alexander. There is definitely more to his mysterious aura than just what meets the eye.

"I am not your father love. I am more than that," he whispers huskily in my ears.

"Oh great, you are here." A high pitch shrill voice squeaked behind us.

The girl shoves me to the side where I almost lose my balance and goes to hug Alexander. Turning around she eyes me as her upper lip curled in disdain. "You had to throw yourself at Alex too, huh?"

"Nice to meet you too, Amber," I reply sarcastically.

She looks up at Alex sporting the most innocent expression on her face, "Alex you need to stay away from her," she points at me. "She is bad news around here."

"I don't mean to offend you but I think otherwise," he replies to Amber and then offers me a soft smile.

Unable to handle a little insult from an attractive guy like Alexander which was a severe blow to her already inflated pride, she decided to get even by choosing to lash out on me at that moment.

"Seems like you to have been bewitched by this whore, Alexander," she states in disbelief.

"Her own parents despise her and don't get along with her and her best friend Ricky won't fuck her because she is nothing but a doormat in his life," she scoffs. "Desperate whores like you are disposed of like the garbage in a trash can once people are done with you," she spits venomously.

"Apparently you should learn how to keep your legs closed instead of badmouthing others," Alexander warns Amber.

Did he just speak up for me?

She stomps off furious after being insulted and rejected by her boy toy for the night. My mood was already dampened and I started to walk out of there after muttering a 'Thank you" to Alexander and besides, I was paranoid if he decided to ask anything regarding what Amber had spoken. My relationship with my parents is a sensitive subject and I didn't appreciate anyone prying into my personal affairs.

I heard him calling after me but I ignored and continued to walk straight ahead, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

                           ***

I find myself marching forward and plopping down alongside a group of stoners. Some of them lazily welcome me while the others were too high and tripping in their own world. Some girl sitting on my right hands me the lighter and the bong and I take a huge hit. I needed to smoke some pot to calm my nerves.

I am still not able to comprehend the way this night turned out to be. Why did Amber have to be such a bitch? Is Alexander coming up with ideas on my family? Am I really like a doormat in Ricky's life? Is that the way I appear in other people's eyes?

Okay, I am totally overthinking. I need to stop. Damn you, Amber.

''Hey," someone taps my shoulder from behind. I turn around offering Ricky a soft smile, "Hey you!"

He extends his right hand towards me and says, "Wanna go somewhere else?" 

I agree instantly cause I was anyways getting very bored and not even weed was making me feel better. I still couldn't get Amber's words out of my head. Her taunts and remarks sounded like bells continually ringing inside my head.

I followed Ricky to the backyard but instead of heading towards where everyone was hanging, we chose to walk a little further and found ourselves in front of a small pond. We could still hear the music from the party in the distant. Ricky suggested we sit down here for a while and since I had nothing better to do, I complied.

"Okay enough already. What is it that is bothering you?" he asks concerned.

Offering him a soft smile, I shake my head saying it's nothing important.

What do you want to know Ricky? That I am an unwanted person whom nobody desires. That it breaks my heart to know that you're so close to me and I still do not have enough courage in me to admit how I truly feel about you. It's always been you and no one else. I feel with each passing day we are a day closer to losing each other soon and I am mentally counting the days till we have together.

"Hey, look at me June!'' He says and cups my face with both his hands. "What is it? Tell me."

I'm not sure at that moment if it was the alcohol's influence but my tear ducts decided to open up. When he wrapped me in an embrace, I sobbed into his chest and the only thing I realised in my heart was this is home. I clung to him like my life was dependent on him, and soon I lost track of time.

He hugged me the entire time constantly assuring me that he will always be there for me while still providing me with my space and not pressuring me to talk. At one point, he went back to the house and grabbed a bottle of water for me. After quenching my thirst, I cleared my throat and looked up at him once I had calmed down a bit.

"Did you ever fall in love Ricky?"

His eyes widened for a split second, as my question surprised him. His gaze was so intense, I felt my face heating up as my heartbeat rose and my palms got uncomfortably sweaty.

The cricket chirping sounded like music to my ears and I felt my breath caught in my throat as his thumb traced my jaw slowly. His eyes had a calculating expression, as he appeared conflicted and lost in fighting the war inside him.

I took my time while my eyes studied and tried to remember even the smallest details on his face, such as how many people mistook the mole on his right ear as a piercing, the tiny stitch mark concealed from his left eyebrow when he fell down because I crashed the bike on my neighbour's car back in sixth grade, or the tiny little freckles on his nose that he despises.

We stared at each other in the moonlight for a long moment until he decided to clear his throat and break the cosy silence. I feel his breath fan my face, as his lips are centimetres away from mine, bringing his face closer to me. Another move and we can close the distance between us. My stomach was fluttering and I held my breath and hoped that my breathing was not as loud to him as it was for me.

"What if I say that I am in love with you?" he asks, and even before my mind could comprehend his words, he smashed his lips into mine, closing the distance between us. I couldn't understand what had happened.

Ricky is kissing me!

My heart exploded as I felt the sparks of emotions that I held back all these years. With the same passion and love, I kissed him back and held him tightly. He bit my lower lip lightly asking for permission, as I gave him access and our tongues battled together both fighting for dominance. I tugged his hair at the ends, and he draws me tighter and places me on his lap as I put my arms around his neck.

We kiss for a while and finally stop when both of us feel the need to breathe. I cast my eyes down unable to meet his gaze and looking at everywhere but him. He lifts my chin with his finger and looks into my eyes.

"I have never felt this way before June. You are different and very special to me. If tonight I didn't grow some balls and make the first move, I might have regretted letting this chance slip through my fingers for the rest of my life," he whispered softly.

My eyes well up with tears at his confession. Over the years I have pictured this scenario a million times yet I couldn't seem to find my voice right now. I smile at him through my teary eyes and shove him playfully.

"Never thought I'll be hearing those words from you in this lifetime," I grin as I place my head on his chest leaning against him. His arms come around me engulfing my body in his warm and loving embrace.

"I love you June," Ricky says.

"I love you too."

[A figure standing behind few trees from the far corner of the mansion witnessed the romantic interaction between the two high school students. The defeated look on his face was heart-wrenching. His eyes seemed void of any emotion and the only thing that sparkled on them in that dry, humid night was the gold flecks.]

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~XOXO

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