~, In the end, you always go back to the people that were there in the beginning. ~

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Important note: The chapter which was previously marked as Chapter 10 is a part of CHAPTER 5 now. The CURRENT CHAPTER 10 was previously marked as Chapter 17 and Chapter 18 (Part I). If there is still any confusion while reading, feel free to PM me and ask away:)

                           ***

It has been a week since the start of the school year and I'm already excited to graduate. Are you feeling me? The classes were such a drag and although I tried my hardest to focus and concentrate on all my classes, within the first three days, I was back to square one. I think I can't just listen anymore to those dull teachers.

I can't wait to start college. I don't really seem to care at this point what kind of college I end up attending. I'm definitely going to travel across the country right after graduation, and settle somewhere far. No reason to come back here and I guess it will not really matter to mom and dad.

Well, some may perceive this as the attitude of a loser - with no plans and all. Yet frankly, I couldn't work out why I was this way. Sometimes it felt like there was a purpose behind every person's birth, but then people die or get killed nearly all the time again. Some people are gone before they have even the opportunity to enjoy and live their lives to the fullest while some of the privileged have never even grasped what a real problem is like.

Now don't take it the other way around and be quick to conclude that I'm not grateful for what I have. I am very grateful to my parents for everything they gave me, but it could never erase the void inside me that longed for the affection of my parents. Yeah, we all have something missing from our lives — because if life wasn't unfair in this way, we would never have understood its meaning.

"Pst..pst..pst. " I feel the tip of a pen poking onto my back. I keep my eyes glued to the screen in front of me but that person is trying to get my attention by removing my headphones.

Annoyed by the sudden unwanted intrusion amidst my daydreaming, I turn around ready to explode the culprit.

"What the- " I am facing my least favourite person in the world right now. Guess who? "What do you want, Alexander?" I said gritting my teeth.

He has been eating my head since the last week. I don't know if he just wants to be a friend of mine but I'm not interested and that guy doesn't know how to take a hint. He is not giving off the right vibe and I want to stay as far away as possible from him. I've been effectively avoiding him since yesterday but now I've got this AP language class where I've selected Japanese and shockingly, Alex shares this class with me so I don't have space to absolutely avoid him.

"Do you know how to answer this problem?" he asked me, gesturing gently towards the problem that was showing on his computer screen. I knew the answer to that question already but I won't tell him.

Bitchy move I know but who cares.

"I don't know, okay," I whisper yelled at him and put my headphones back on.

"Oi listen.." he is poking my back with the pen again. I seriously lost it.

"What's your bloody problem?" I screamed, annoyed at him. Until I heard Professor Daigo call out our names, I did not realise how loud I was.

"Do we have a problem here, Miss Morrison and Mr Heart?" He questioned in his thick Japanese accent.

I mumbled a quick apology shaking my head but Alex claimed he was unable to follow with the rest of the class, and for the time being, asked for a student tutor. And as luck would have it, Professor Daigo thought that we were good friends, so now I have been given the job of tutoring Mr Alex for the next five months till mid-term.

The joy.

Soon after, the bell went off and I couldn't wait to rush home. Once I gather my things, I leave the classroom and go to the lockers where very excited Naomi waves to get my attention. I giggle at her excitement, wondering what's got her so cheerful. Must be the sex. Nick and she go at it like animals, that's all I know besides, some other gory disgusting details about it because Naomi doesn't know how to shut her mouth.

As I approach her, my smile widens and she practically jumps on me.

"Woah easy there tiger!" I laughed at her. "What do you really feel so excited about?"

She pushes a plain white envelope onto my hands. "Open it," she says.
Then I look at the envelope and open it and see two brochures. Taking them out, I realise that a month from now it's for a weekend cruise journey.

"It's for our one-year anniversary. Nick really took me by  surprise this time June." She smiles at me.

"Wow. That's incredible Mi. I was also shocked by Nick. I never thought that fool had a single romantic bone in him," I chuckled.

She hits my hand fake scowling at me. "Don't you dare insult my man, Miss Morrison," she laughs. "Otherwise I'll tell Ricky about your little crush on him."

At her attempt to taunt me, I roll my eyes, but the grin on her face fades when she gestures to someone behind my back. "Looks like you have another loverboy here," she whispers in my ears before suggestively wiggling both of her eyebrows.

I groan and turn around in exasperation. "What is it now?"

With the most innocent expression on his face, Alex looks at me.

Like I am going to buy it.

"I need to talk with you June."

"But I don't want to!" I snap back.

Naomi elbows me in the ribs and I groan in pain. "What was that for?"

"Stop being so mean to him," she whispers yells at me. "My apologies. Hi, I am Naomi, June's best friend," she offers her hand to Alexander.

"Hi, Naomi. I am Alexander." He smiles at her and shakes her hand in a strong handshake. "If you don't mind can you ask your friend to give me five minutes, please? I just need to talk to her," he asks her.

Once she decides to go, Naomi looks back and forth between us and tells me to meet her in the parking lot once I'm done. She says goodbye to Alex, and heads in the opposite direction. I ignore the presence of Alex next to me and put my books in the locker. Collecting those I need to go through at home, I bundle them in my bag and closed my locker.

"What was it that you wanted to talk about?" I ask Alex.

"Can you stop giving me the cold shoulder? You don't even know me so why don't you really like me?" he confronts.

I didn't expect him to come up to me and ask me that question. You might say I didn't think he was going to be this blunt about it. Yet as he's already found I don't think there's any point in denying it.

"I don't want to be anywhere near you," I say. He frowns at my reply but doesn't interrupt me. "I already have my own circle of friends and I like Ricky. A lot. Hanging out with you will give people the wrong idea and besides that, I'm not really interested in being your friend. We are classmates and I want it to remain like this."

"Why won't you give me a chance? Is that so hard?" His eyes are cast downwards towards the floor and I almost missed how his voice cracks towards the end.

I am sorry Alexander but no.

I don't return an answer for his question but instead, start walking towards the school parking lot where I was supposed to meet Naomi. I spot the three of them- Nick, Ricky and Naomi leaning against Nick's convertible and laughing at something. I walk up to them and all three turns to look at me.

"Done with your little date?" Nick mocks me.

Naomi stamps on his foot and he curses under his breath. "Ouch, babe. What was that for?"

"Stop harassing the poor girl. What date are you talking about?  Stupid."

Ricky smiles at me and asks, "Everything alright, J?

"Yes, absolutely. Let's go."

The four of us get into Nick's car and drive away leaving the now almost empty parking lot.

But I don't miss how a certain pair of eyes have been watching me from afar since I walked up to my friends.

Please make him stay away, I silently mumble a prayer, hoping the Gods lend an ear to my plea.

                        ~~~~~~

"Boo!" My startled eyes collide with azure ones that were mischievously illuminated and in a stunned state, my phone slips and as luck would have it, it flies out of my hand and falls squarely flat on my face smacking it in the process.

"FUCK!" I curse out holding my nose and rubbing it. Like that helps. Ricky's laugh resonates throughout the room. "Not funny," I roll my eyes and glare at him giving him my deadliest look. Upon seeing my expression, he tries clutching his stomach holding back his laughs but failing miserably.

''You should have seen the look on your face. What were you watching anyway?" he asks. "You looked pretty engrossed."

"Roman Empire," I reply.

"Oh!" he exclaims. "Was it the part about Julius Caesar?" He plops down on the bed next to me and makes himself comfortable, laying on his right facing me.

I shake my head. "Naah, it's about Caligula's Reign. They mentioned Tiberius and how he plotted Germanicus's death, Caligula's father. The whole thing was a big conspiracy." I explained.

"Caligula?'' he asks unsure. "Wasn't that the ruler who proposed marriage to his own sisters? Like the bangs, each one of them and then I guess it was his sister Drusilla who gets preg- ''

"Stop giving me spoilers" I shout at him and smack his head with the pillow kept next to me. "I just completed watching the first episode!'' I exclaimed in annoyance. "And you already told me so much shit. Arghh!!!!"

He looks at me and laughs nervously, "Cheer up, J. I just talked a little about the sisters."

"You said he bangs each one of them!" I retort back. "I didn't even reach till that much," I add grumpily.

He grins sheepishly and gives me his puppy eyes look. "That's not going to work right now,'' I warn him.

"You sure about that, J?" he asks.

"Yes.''

"Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you," he says then launches himself on top of me tickling my sides.

All right, now those who know me well know how freakishly ticklish I am. It's like I just can't help it. No matter how hard I try to keep my laughter under control or try not to feel ticklish, it never works.

"Please-e-eee stoppp--pp,'' I'm trying to wriggle my body out of his grip between laughs. He begins to tickle me harder. By now I have tears streaming down the sides of my eyes and my voice comes out hoarse from laughing so hard.

''Ricky stop-p-p. I can't take it... any-m-more," I say panting and breathing hard.

"The sexual tension is killing here, eh?" I hear a voice coming from the doorstep. Ricky whips his head to look at the person while I manage to turn a little to try to look at who it is. I put my eyes on a smirking Nick.

Ricky moves and helps me get up. "Stop bullshitting bro," Ricky says Nick.

"Uh-uh," he replies unconvincingly. "Of course. You guys know better. Right, J?" He asks me with a knowing look.

Why is he saying like that? He doesn't know about my crush on Ricky unless Naomi- That sneaky bitch.

Of course, she would tell it to Nick. That girl literally shares everything with her boyfriend and can't keep her mouth shut. I am going to kill her!

''I don't know what you are talking about," I reply nonchalantly. He offers me a sly smile in response but luckily, doesn't push the matter further.

Ricky clears his throat behind me gaining our attention. "Hey, guys! I gotta rush home," he says looking up from his phone. "Mom just said a few of her colleagues from work are coming over for dinner and I need to go pick up a few groceries."

"But you just got here a while back," I complain whining like a child.

"Next time J. I ain't running away anywhere," he chuckles at my childishness and points at Nick, "Besides, you have Mr Gorgeous keeping you company now."

''I know I am irresistible," Nick admits proudly.

"Yeah, right. And I am going to Yale next year," I reply sarcastically.

Nick clutches his heart feigning pain. "Ouch! You wound me, Morrison," he fake whimpers. "I thought I was your one and only," he shakes his head wiping away the invisible tears from his eyes.

"That's why I love you guys," Ricky laughs at us.

''Good to know you find us entertaining, Mr Michael Collins," Nick says mockingly.

"Not again, Nick," Ricky warns. "Stop calling me Michael."

Michael Francis Collins is the full name of Ricky. For unexplained reasons he despises his name and does not even let anyone call him Mike. He's familiar with Ricky and we got comfortable calling him by that name over the years too. Others call him Michael once in a while just to pull his leg and get under his nerves.

"Okay okay! Calm down bro," Nick says. "I was only teasing. Who knows if you will manage to find yourself another Nick in your Ivy League next year! You will miss me then," he adds jokingly.

"I am happy with this version of Nick only. Not letting any other Nick or anyone else take your place," Ricky assures him.

Looking at them, I sigh and wonder if I'll be able to find this kind of good friends in college. As much as I'm eager to leave behind this little town and have a fresh, new start somewhere else, it makes me slightly uncomfortable to think of not having them beside me. They have become a part of my life and it breaks my heart upon the realisation that a few months from now, we will all go in our separate ways. I do not know if we'll stay the same but in my heart, I really hope we do.

"Group hug guys!" I squeal with delight and open my arms at them. They come over and hug me back. "Naomi is missing though," Ricky adds.

"I can give her extra hugs and more from your sides. I don't mind," Nick replies suggestively looking at the two of us.

Ricky and I both dismiss his innuendo and Ricky tells us that he wants to leave before his mother starts calling him again. He kisses me on my forehead and does that fist bump thing with Nick and leaves after waving us goodbye.

"You should tell him," Nick says.

Furrowing my brows in confusion, I ask, "Tell him what?"

''Stop feigning innocence. I know you like him, okay?" he states. "Even if Naomi didn't tell me, I already figured it beforehand. It doesn't take a genius to decipher the look in your eyes whenever Ricky is around you."

"What look?" My eyes zero on the wafer pack lying next to my bed and I grab it. I hand Nick a few, and he munches them very loudly while devouring the wafers like a hungry caveman. Only those who haven't seen this side of Nick finds him attractive. If you know what I mean. And don't ask me about Naomi, she is just crazy about him all the time. Their relationship just completed a year a few days back and they are still in their honeymoon phase.

He stops munching and places the uneaten wafers from his hands on top of the packet. He turns around to face me completely and all humour vanishes from his place now replaced by a serious expression.

"Whenever he is around, your eyes sparkle, J. You look at him with so much affection that I always envy the two of you," he says.

"You both have this connection I've seen in very few others, even Naomi and I don't share that. I know you like him a lot, J and I think you should let him know about it."

"I can't. What if he doesn't see me in that way? I can't risk losing him as a friend too," I sigh.

"And what if next year he goes to college and starts dating some other chick? You will regret your what-ifs then. You both will not be studying together and people there won't care what you both have shared here. Will you be okay if his girlfriend comes over here for Christmas and it is quite obvious Ricky will invite you to meet her. Will you be okay seeing him with another girl?" He demands.

I've already thought about this question a million times inside my brain. I imagined scenarios after scenarios about how things might go if I confess my feelings to him. But my self-centred side didn't want to risk losing him as a friend, nor did I have the heart to look at the sight of Ricky with another girl next to him. I knew that Nick was telling the truth, but I shook off the stinging sensation that invaded my heart and settled down in the pit of my stomach.

"Perhaps, we are not meant to be," I reply softly as a single tear slides down the side of my cheek.

                       ~~~~~~

"Autumn. Autumn.." a voice keeps calling constantly. I look around the neighbourhood and find it completely empty. Not a single living soul in sight. Weird, I think to myself.

I spot my house in the distance and start heading towards that direction. As I walk past the houses, an eerie feeling creeps in and the more I reach closer to my house, the more nervous I feel.

Ignoring the deafening silence, I hurried up the stairs and as I step into the porch, I find the front door already unlocked. The door creaked on its hinges as I pull it open and step inside the house. I look around gaping at the empty house. Where are all the furniture and other things? The only source of light inside the house was the sunlight that permeated the room through the old worn-out curtains that hung on the window frame. They look dirty and stained and one might get the impression that they haven't been washed in years. I walk around and as I stood at the bottom of the staircase, the calling started again.

"Autumn... Autumn... Autumn "
My legs began to move on their own, as I climbed the stairs slowly. The voice was a little distant and it seemed to come from inside my bedroom so I climbed up to the second floor again.

"Stop it Alex," a girl giggles. The sound of her laughter reverberated throughout the house. My mind was burning with curiosity and I felt a peculiar pull towards the sound of her voice.

"Alex, why don't you ask Archer to join us? He seems lonely," the girl is talking to someone.

Who are these people in my house? What do they want? Just then a gust of wind blows so hard that sends me stumbling as I lose my balance and feel myself falling back down the stairs.

I wake up with a sudden jolt and look around to find myself in my room. The clock on the bedside table reads 4:23 am. I groan in annoyance as I have been having this exact dream for the last few weeks. I have no freaking idea as to who is this Autumn or Archer. The only Alex I know is you know who and I don't even want to go there. He is worse than a migraine.

I remove the covers and get up from the bed. I walk into the bathroom and start stripping hoping a nice warm shower might help with my mood since I was pretty sure I won't be able to go back to sleep again. As I pulled my shorts down, I discovered a red blotch on it.

"Arghh!!! Motherfucking period," I groan in exasperation.

My period days are the worse days in the entire month. Those five days I am like an angry bull on the loose. Every little fucking thing annoys me. I could not even sleep properly for days because of that stupid nightmare and period is the icing on the cake that I have been missing.

The joy.

After pampering myself with an hour-long bubble bath that was absolutely unnecessary, I stepped outside and put on a black jogger and a plain white T-shirt. Yes, I was planning to go to school in this attire cause it's comfy and I don't give two fucks about anyone's opinion. At breakfast, I made small talk with Mrs Willson over a bowl of cereal and left for school soon after.

As I stepped out of the car after parking it in a good spot, I immediately spot Nick and Ricky hanging out with some of the guys from the basketball and football team. Nick does not play basketball, he is actually the quarterback for the football team. I know you are wondering how Nick is so nice and down to earth cause we all know how the typical quarterbacks behave in high school. Well, let's just say Naomi had started to tame him since freshman year.

My eyes meet the sparkling ones of Ricky, and as he beams at me confidently, his face lights up. I love the way his dimples crinkle and I feel better already. I step up to the boys and I'm welcomed by everyone. 

"Yo, J. What up?" Sean one of the guys who play football ask me as he pumps his fist with mine.

"I am all good," I reply smiling. "What about you?"

"Hyped up for the party tonight," he winks at me.

''Party?'' I ask tipping my head to the side in confusion.

"There is a party at Derek's tonight and it's going to be fucking awesome!" Nick cuts in.

I eye him incredulously, "Didn't you say the same thing for every party we have attended since sophomore year?''

At that comment, all the guys burst into laughter and start booing Nick. He gives me the finger pretending to be upset and I chuckle at his childishness.

"You are not a very good friend now, are you?" Ricky leans down and whispers in my ear. His mouth was so close to my ear and besides, his breath fanning the side of my face was not exactly helping this early in the morning. I give him a what are you talking about look and he shakes his head in disappointment.

''Looks like you have actually forgotten," he states.

I have no clue what he was talking about. What did I forget? I look at the guys thinking they might drop some hint but all their attention was fixated on Ricky's disappointed face.

"Hey, guys!" A very excited Naomi approaches our group and then looks at Ricky.

"Oh! Before you start to misinterpret, I swear I was very busy yesterday." she starts explaining. "I am sorry I forgot to call you. By the way, how was your SATs?"

SATs? Fuck!!!! Yesterday Ricky was supposed to appear for his SATs but I completely forgot about it. Cursing the stupid nightmares that have been invading my sleep every night as the reason for my forgetfulness, I look up at Ricky in guilt and embarrassment.

''I am really sorry Ricky. I haven't been feeling well for a few days and the SATs kinda slipped my mind yesterday."

"It's alright, J. I was kidding anyway and my exam went pretty well," he smiles.

"Are you feeling okay today? Do you want me to take you to a doctor?" He asks his voice laced with concern.

I shake my head no and assure him that I am feeling alright today. The guys and Naomi aww at the two of us and one of the boys, I guess his name is Dylan says, "You cannot forgive J so easily Ricky. Not fair. What do you say, guys?"

Everyone nods in agreement and it was still okay until someone added, "Kiss and make up guys!"

My eyes widen and I look at them in disbelief. "Are you guys fucking kidding me?" I snap and storm towards the school entrance. I wondered how many people knew that I had a thing for Ricky. Things were starting to get a little out of hand here. They can't be pulling my leg all the time. Too good to be a fucking coincidence. Was Nick right? Am I that obvious? Ever since I had that conversation with Nick a few weeks back at my place about Ricky, I have been feeling this whirlwind of emotions and the more I think about it, the more I feel the need to confess to Ricky but then again, I am really paranoid that things will go downhill from there.

In my dreamy state as I was lost in my thoughts, all of a sudden I bumped into someone. I feel my hands come in contact with a rock hard chest as the person grabbed me by my waist, helping me from losing balance and falling down.

"I am really sorry about just now and thank- '' I started to express my gratitude but pause mid-sentence when I eye my saviour. ''Never mind," I reply and get out of his hold immediately like his touch burns and disgusts me.

"So just because it's me, I don't deserve a simple Thank you," Alexander states calmly.

For a fraction of a second, I did feel bad about what he said. I guess it stung cause somewhere in my heart, I too knew he was not wrong.

"I didn't mind with the ignoring, you know, " he starts. "You would always head in the opposite direction whenever you spotted me but don't you think you have gone overboard this time?'' He asks.

In my opinion, if a person wasn't comfortable in a particular person's presence, they had every right to avoid that person. In my defence, I have voiced my thoughts quite clearly to Alexander stating what I really feel about being his friend. It's not my fault in case he is trying to guilt-trip me.

"I don't owe you an explanation for my behaviour," I reply with a straight face and walk past him heading towards the direction of my locker.

"Only if you knew who I am," he says softly but at that moment I was ignorant and did not realize how his words caused my heart to ache a little.

                           ***

~XOXO

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