You should play the music above while reading this:) I guess it'll fit lol.

CHAPTER 4

"Lauren," I held tight on my bag's strap as Dad calls my name.

Can I just leave without any words?

Humarap ako nang unti-unti, "Po?" Ano nanaman po ba?

Buti na lang at naliligo si Mommy. Bawas sermon.

Ibinaba niya ang utensils na hawak niya at nagpunas ng bibig, "Umuwi ng maaga. Study well." Tumango siya.

"Yes Dad." And with that I tried my best to compose a smile.

Buti na lang pinapayagan parin nila ako kahit walang klase. BUTI NA LANG TALAGA. Hindi pwedeng hindi ako pumasok ngayon.

Today is our University fair, pero hindi nila alam na may booth kami at sasali ako ngayon sa music fest. This is my opportunity to be the next music star, so I'd taken the risk. Eto naman ang gusto ko diba?

Pagkadating ko sa school tinext ko muna si Krish na sundan na lang ako sa Music Hall, dahil for sure late nanaman pumasok 'yun tapos hihintayin pa niya yung boyfriend niyang sunduin siya. Sana lang this time maaga aga naman sunduin ni Ken si Krish.

Pagkadating ko sa tapat ng music all, sumilip muna ko kung may tao. Since wala naman pumasok na ako at nagayos ng mga gagamitin kong instruments.

I will perform twice, one piano and one guitar—In just one song.

Kinakabahan? Hindi pa. Kasi magpapractice palang ako. Pero alam ko mamaya baka himatayin ako sa stage lalo na pag nakita kong madaming manunuod ng auditions.

I set the organ and started playing.

I had a dream the other night

About how we only get one life

Woke me up right after two

Stayed awake and stared at you

So I wouldn't lose my mind

I closed my eyes and feel the music I am playing. Sabi sa isang quote sa twitter—"Feel the music and it will sound good as it will ever be."

I throw every word with melody and harmony. My voice and my piano is all I hear, I can hear it bouncing through every corner of this hall.

And if you only die once I wanna die with

Right after the pre-chorus I switched to guitar. Then I was about to start playing chorus when someone opens the door.

"LAUREN!" Tumakbo si Krish papunta sakin habang nakangiti.

Ako naman nakatayo lang at hindi ko alam ang nangyayari.

"Oh bakit?" Sabi ko ng tinggal niya na ang yakap niya saakin.

She inhale deeply then exhaled. She grinned, "Wala ang galling mo eh, excited lang." Then she laughed.

I made face, "Akala ko naman kung ano na." I crossed my arms.

But yet na-flatter naman ako sa sinabi niya, it's really good when someone is complementing you. Sakanila lang naman ako nakakakuha niyan, never sa magulang ko.

She keeps giggling like a little girl. I laughed, "Tumigil ka nga!" Then we laughed.

"Oh ano? Ituloy mo na kaya!" She pointed my guitar.

"Ikaw kasi eh epal ka."

So I continued practicing.

When I finished practicing she keeps on praising me.

"Friend wag ka na kaya mag audition? Alam ko naman na pasok ka na eh!" I smile.

"Ano ka ba, syempre kailangan 'yun."

"Sila Ken, hindi ba maga-audition?" Umiling siya.

"Bukas pa sila, sa battle of the bands." Sabi niya.

Umupo muna kami at uminom ako ng tubig.

Napatingin kami pareho ng biglang may tumunog sa pintuan sa kabilang dulo ng hall.

Nagtinginan kami ni Krish, I shrugged at her expression asking me what was that.

"May dumadaan pa ba 'dun?" Tanong ko kay Krish. Kasi yung pinto na yun nakasara 'yun actually. Kasi wala rin sense dahil wala namang gumagamit, dadaan ka pa sa likod ng building para daanan 'yun. Kaya ang binuksan na lang ay yung pinto mula sa loob ng building.

"Malay ko. And the hell I care. Tara nab ago pa tayo multuhin dito! Kaloka!" Then we packed our things and leave the room.

Sheez. Ayan na nararamdaman ko na ang kaba. Ilang minutes na lang magsisimula na ang auditions. At kung seswertihin ka nga naman! Pangalawa pa ako sa magpeperform. Nahiya pa yung papel, di pa ginawang una. Pagkadasal-dasal ko panama na last number ang mabunot ko, tas biglang number 2?!

"Lauren," Napalingon ako sa humawak sa balikat ko.

Ken smiled and said na 'kaya mo yan'.

"Oh basta Lauren, wag kang kakabahan!" Sabi naman ni Krish na katabi ni Ken.

"Paanong hindi kakabahan?! Tingnan mo nga!" Tinuro ko ang mga studyanteng manonood sa auditions. Kala mong may concert!

I can't help it! Natetense na talaga ako!

Natawa naman sila ni Ken sa reaction ko.

"Oh ano tatawanan niyo na lang ako?!" I can't help but shake my hands and breathe heavily.

Lalo silang natawa. Kaya sinamaan ko sila nang tingin.

Pinigilan nila ang tawa nila, "Okay, relax ka lang kasi! Isipin mo walang taong nanonood sa'yo, isipin mo kami lang nanonood. Wag ka tumingin sakanila! Samin lang!" Sabi ni Krish.

I was about to say something nang magsalita na ang emcee.

"Good morning PUA University!" Masiglang sabi ng emcee at sumigaw naman ang crowd.

And I'm just here, standing stiffly. Don't know how to move.Para na kong na mighty-bond ditto sa floor.

"Are you ready for the auditions?" And the crowd replied with growing noise.

Then the speaker goes on, ipinakilala niya ang mga judges blah blah blah hindi ko maintindihan, I don't have any interests in listening, all I know is kinakabahan ako at hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko lalo na nung tinawag na yung 1st performer.

I know her!

She is the girl version of Jarvis! Yes, hindi nga ako nagkakamali.

Nang lumingon ako sa tabi ko, wala na dun sila Krish. Tumingin ako sa paligid ko at nakitang may kumakaway sa kabilang gilid ng stage. Nalaman ko na pinaalis nap ala ang mga audience sa side na to, dahil puro mga maga-auditions na lang ang nandito.

Kumakanta yung girl version ni Jarvis ng acoustic version ng Roses. Her voice was soft and cool. Para lang akong nakikinig ng isang lullaby. And kung titingnan mo siya, nakapikit lang siya. She looks like an angel, parang hindi mo aakalain na marunong rin pala siyang tumugtog ng gitara.

All in all ang galling niya. Ang ganda ng boses niya.

Then right after she performed, nakita kong nakipag apir siya sa isa sa mga judges. And as if on cue, umakyat na ang emcee at tinawag ang pangalan ko.

SHEEZ! Lupa wag mo akong bitawan! Magpakatibay ka mighty-bond! Parang biglang nanlamig ang buong katawan ko, hindi ko na ata alam maglakad.

Then I look for Krish and Ken, I saw them giving me a thumb up and they're smiling. So I inhale deeply and exhaled. I stiffened and go to the stage.

I look at everyone who's watching, I swallowed. Ang dami nila.

I looked at the judges and saw them waiting for me to perform. Pero hindi yun ang nakakuha ng attention ko, kundi ang isang pamilyar na lalaki na nakangiti saakin habang tinitap ang ballpen niya sa table.

My eyes widened at lalong nadagdagan ang kaba ko.

Bakit siya pa ang naging judge?

I knew it! Siya yung inapiran ni girl version niya!

I just looked away at Jarvis at umupo na sa tapat ng piano.

I closed my eyes firmly at huminga ng malalim.

Kaya ko to!

Then I start playing the piano. As if I was the only one at this place. Unti-unting nawala ang kaba ko, at napalitan ito ng feels ng kanta.

And if you only die once I wanna die with~

Then I opened my eyes, I saw the crowd enjoying my music, so I smiled as I start the chorus. As I switch piano to guitar I saw the judges raise their eyebrows, and I saw Jarvis, just smiling as if he knows that it'll be successful.

So the crowd clap their hands as I was singing the chorus with my guitar. I think I got them.

I smiled and feel the melody of the music I am making.

You got something I need

In this world full of people there's one killing me

And if we only die once,

I wanna die with you

You got something I need

In this world full of people there's one killing me

And if we only die once,

I wanna die with you~

I start to bang my head slightly and just smile through the crowd that's singing with me. I saw Krish noded at me and Ken smiled at me.

I can't believe it, I am singing without hesitation, at last I made up my decision to stand up for my self and follow what I want.

As I sing the last lyrics, I closed my eyes and strum my guitar for the last time.

And that was the time when I heard the unbelievable silence from everyone. Wala akong marinig. So I just stood there, parang nagslow-mo lahat. Lahat sila nakatingin lang saakin.

Then I hear one clap from the judges, then the others followed.

Napalitan ang katahimikan ng nakakabinging sigawan at palakpakan.

I smiled at them and bowed slightly.

Thank God!

Para akong maiiyak nang pababa ako ng stage.

Sinalubong ako nila Krish at Ken at niyakap ako ni Krish.

"Ang galling mo Lauren!!!" She said while jumping.

I smiled at huminga ng malalim. Ken gave me a smile and said na ang galling ko rind aw.

"Thank you! Thank you sainyo! Grabe! Nakaya ko!" I said and catch my breath.

"Sabi ko naman kasi sa'yo, kaya mo eh!" Krish said and embraced me more tightly.

After na makapagperform ang lahat, inannouce ng emcee na malalaman daw naming ang results mamay sa awardings.

Kaya naisipan naming kumain muna ni Krish at Ken sa labas dahil mamaya pa namang hapon ang awardings.

Papaalis na kami sa auditorium nang harangin ako ni Jarvis. Tumingin ako sa gilid niya at nakitang kumaway lang si Krish habang nakangiti tapos dumiretso na sila ni Ken palabas.

Si Krish talaga oh!

I looked up at Jarvis, hindi naman siya ganun katangkad para tingalain ko, sakto lang, mas matangkad siya saakin, pero konti lang.

I raised my eye brow to him, "Oh ano nanaman?"

Ang epal talaga niya, hindi ko alam kung epal ba siya, feeling close o friendly lang talaga?

He smiled like we were friends and offers a hand.

Hindi naman ako bastos para hindi tanggapin kaya nakipagkamay ako.

"You did great." He smiled. So ngumiti na lang din ako.

Medyo naging rude ata ako, baka nagiging friendly lang siya. Mukha namang mabait lang talaga siya.

"So Lauren," Oh at last nabigkas rin niya ang pangalan ko ng tama.

"at last you manage to audition."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What?-"

"Sige alis na ko, baka hinahanap na ko 'dun." He smiled again. Bakit ang hilig niyang ngumiti?

"You really are something, Lauren." And then he left.

Again.

Nang hindi man lang ako nakapagsalita.

And after a few moments, tsaka lang ako nakakilos para hanapin na sila Krish at Ken.

San naman kaya nagpunta ang mga 'yon?