Chapter 24

Running Away

Hindi na nakapasok pa sa school si Dahlia. At late na rin siya. Sinundan ko siya sa kwarto niya at marahan ko siyang kinatok...

"You can still come with me, anak..." I sounded begging her to just come with me and we'll leave for the US together. Ang totoo ay ang hirap din sa akin na tanggapin na hindi ko makakasama ang anak ko. Pero ayaw ko lang din siyang pilitin na sumama sa akin kahit ayaw din naman talaga niya...

She shook her head. "I can't leave Daddy..." she said this as she cried.

And I nodded my head. I know that it's hard for her na parang pinapapili ko pa siya kung kanino siya sasama kung sa akin ba o kay Kiel... And I didn't really mean this. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay ang makasama ko rin ang anak ko...

Sa huli ay wala rin akong nagawa because Dahlia chose to stay with Kiel...

"Please take care of our daughter, Kiel..." I cried. Masakit na masakit para sa akin.

Dumating din sa point na kinuwestyon ko na rin ang choices ko... Kung ayos lang ba talaga na umalis ako ngayon? Kung tama ba na muli kong iwan si Dahlia... Na kailangan pa ba talagang masaktan ang anak ko... Pero nasasaktan din naman ako... At hindi ko lang talaga kayang manatili...

I'm very sorry, Dahlia...

Nakita kong may tumulo ring luha galing sa mga mata ni Kiel. "I'm so sorry, Ada... I'm sorry to our daughter. This is all my fault." he said.

And as I looked at him blaming himself now... I just didn't know how to feel...anymore...

Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko...

I returned to my apartment and just cried again when I saw my empty home. When Kai arrived he comforted me.

"Dahlia won't come with me, Kai. She wouldn't leave Kiel. She'd stay with her Dad."

"Kiel blamed himself..." I said.

"Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, A... You can forgive but it's really hard to forget what happened..." Kai said.

"I remember when Kiel and I first met when we were just kids. It was because our Dads became friends because of their business. Zadkiel Graciano was this really aloof kid. And I was just trying to befriend him."

Tumingin ako kay Kaizen nang magsimula siyang magkuwento. He had this faint smile on his face.

"Minsan lang kami magkita because I and my family always go home to Japan. But I can say that Kiel and I became close because he doesn't really have other friends other than me." Bahagya siyang ngumisi.

And then he sighed. "I was actually happy when I saw him with you and your daughter in San Carlos... Naisip ko pa nga noon na hayaan na lang siya at umalis na lang ako..." He let out another sigh. "If only I knew then that things would end up this way... Sana hindi ko na lang pinaalala kay Kiel ang buhay niya bago siya napunta sa lugar ninyo..."

Nagkatinginan kami.

"But Kiel wouldn't want that. Ang pinakaayaw niya sa lahat ay ang pinagsisinungalingan siya."

I looked away a little...

"Kiel's parents married each other for business. For their own gain. And they never planned to have a child. But Kiel was born. He was his parents unwanted child... That's how Kiel felt about his life ever since."

My lips parted as I listened to Kaizen. Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa kaniya.

"And then later on in their marriage, Kiel's mom fell in love with his Dad... But his Dad never..."

Kai sighed for the nth time. "Kiel's mom would start lying to his son. Telling him things that would lead him to stopping his Dad from leaving his mom..."

"And then followed by Kiel's Dad lying to him, too. So that he could go to his other woman..."

Tumitig sa akin si Kai. "What happened was that... parang niloloko pareho ng both parents niya si Kiel by telling him lies for their own selfish gain..."

"At that time akala pa nga ni Kiel that his parents already started to care for him... We were in high school at that time. Noon lang din sandaling naramdaman ni Kiel na may pakialam na sa kaniya ang parents niya... Because they never really made him feel like they cared for their son before."

"Iyon pala dahil kailangan lang nila..."

"You see, Kiel was his grandfather's favorite. At sa kaniya iiwan nito ang lahat, their company and everything. At hindi sa Dad niya. So his parents became also careful with Kiel after learning that. At wala rin naman sila pareho magagawa sa desisyon ng lolo ni Kiel. He was a strict and powerful man despite his later age. But he was truly gentle with Kiel, and even to me." Napangiti si Kai habang naaalala iyon.

Pagkatapos ay parang nalungkot naman ang mukha niya. "But the next time I came back here in the Philippines from Japan, Kiel's grandfather already died because of old age and sickness..."

"I remember that Kiel even hated his grandfather for awhile, because the old man lied to him about his true condition. He was sick and dying but he never told Kiel that. Ang naisip ko naman noon na baka ayaw lang ng lolo ni Kiel na mag-alala siya sa kaniya. But Kiel was young and a hateful child to understand."

"Ang lolo na lang niya ang pinagkakatiwalaan niya noon. After learning that both his parents were only using him. Dahil sa mamanahin niya. Kiel thought that they made him a fool. But then his grandfather died, the only person he trusted."

"Bu he trusts you, too..." Nasabi ko na lang at natigilam din sa pagsasalita pagkatapos.

Bahagyang ngumiti sa akin si Kai. "But not after I lied to him, too, or I didn't tell him about your whereabouts..."

Yumuko ako. "But you only did that because of me..." nasabi ko rin.

"Don't be guilty about it, A. It was my choice. At isa pa, like what I already told you before, I also did it for Kiel. I helped you for Kiel..." He told me honestly.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya.

Muli na naman siyang nagbuntong-hininga. "Kiel can explain himself more to you..." he said.

"Kai..." pigil ko sa kaniya.

It wasn't that I didn't wanna hear him anymore. Maybe I was just not ready to listen...

Tumigil naman siya sa pagkuwento at ngumiti na lang sa akin bahagya.

Ako naman ngayon ang nagbuntong-hininga.

At sa sumunod na araw ay dumeretso na ako sa airport para sa flight ko pabalik ng Amerika. Without anymore looking back. After what happened buo pa rin ang desisyon ko na bumalik gaya ng nauna ko na ring plano na talaga. Ang iniba lang ay hindi ako nagtagumpay na maisama ko sa akin ang anak ko pabalik.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Kaizen na pabalik na rin ng Japan. Mauuna lang ako sa kaniyang umalis ng Pilipinas. Nakapagpaalam na rin ako kanila tiyay at tiyoy sa San Carlos. Alam na rin ni Dahlia na babalik na ako ng Chicago...

Habang sakay na ako ng eroplano ay napaisip ako kung tama ba talaga itong ginawa ko at wala ba akong pagsisisihan... I admit that I was already having doubts about my decisions pero tumuloy pa rin ako at pinili kong umalis... While onboard in the plane, I thought and I suddenly felt like I was once again running away from it...