Hello everyone! As promised, we are gonna continue with Astoria's perspective....As you might have noticed, I usually use colorful images before the start of the chapter, but this time I have used dark and gloomy images because this is a dark time for Astoria. Also, this is a really girl friendly chapter, and everything portrayed is purely fictional. This is not real life. Feel free to skip this chapter if you are less than 10 or 11. Lets cut this short and move on to the chapter.   

Astoria 

 I did know how it feels to be in love. It was a really nice feeling then. But I didn't even know what proper love was then. Love was just this version we made that time. In real life, love is just as pathetic as Jason was.

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(FLASHBACK - 5 years ago)

"Did he really say that?" I asked, getting jumpy already.

"Yes, yes, yes! I'm telling you he did" Olivia said.

"I don't believe you. He didn't say that" I say, shaking my head.

"When I'm telling you he said you were cute, I must have heard him!"

"But, but he can't think i'm cute"

"Why not?"

"Because.....Because I'm not cute" 

"According to you. He does think you're cute"

"I won't believe it until he says it to my face"

"Haha. Ok then. Sulk" She gets up from the swing and starts walking away.

"Olivia!" I yell. "Wait up!"

I run after her, catching up.

"Liv, slow down..." I pant.

She slows down. Her mother calls us in and we run inside for Paella 🥘. Olivia's mum makes the best. While eating, I can't get it out of my mind. The words, 'He thinks you're cute' keeps replaying in my head like a movie on loop. Jason Blu had never shown any interest in me till date and now suddenly he thinks I'm cute?

I ask mum the same question when she comes to wish me goodnight.

"Well, honey, it's a matter of opinion. He may not have noticed you all this time"

"How is it possible he may not have noticed me all this time, I'm his classmate for god's sake mum. He sees me every other day!" I say.

"Not during the summer vacations, no he doesn't"

"But what difference does that make?"

"You got a new haircut. And you've grown a few inches. And you're much prettier than before"

"Was I uglier before?" I ask, horror written all over my face.

"No,no. No, you weren't ugly. You were pretty. You're just more pretty. Like, prettier."

"Then why doesn't he tell me I'm cute? Why does he say it to his friends? You know, Olivia overheard him that's how she knows"

"You'll understand later, when you like some boy. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone they're cute"

"Really?"

"Really. Cut him some slack. Give it time. And be nice about it. Don't go around him like you've seen some alien."

"Right now I think i am the alien" Mum laughs.

"All I'm saying is that act normal. And be a little flirty"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, flirt with him. It will be easier for him to tell you if you show signs you're interested in him"

"Flirting? What's that?"

"Are you telling me that I have to explain to my 12 year old daughter what flirting is?"

"Yes. Also, I don't know how to do it. You have to teach me."

"I have to teach you...oh dear. Don't worry, it will come naturally to you. Just wait for the correct place and the correct time" She winks.

"Correct place and correct time" I repeat.

"Yes, now go to sleep. You have a busy day flirting tomorrow. It takes a lot of energy"

"Flirting takes energy......" I mumble and drift off to sleep. I am subconsciously aware that mum chuckles and turns the light out after kissing me on the forehead.

I can swear I hear her telling dad how I need 'flirting lessons' when I come down. My mum takes Olivia and me to school in her car then goes off to office. While she's saying goodbye to me, she whispers a quick "Good Luck" in my ear. I smile and make my way to my locker. I see Jason and wave. He waves back. It's like an I've-missed-you wave. This is easy.

For Science, Olivia tells me I should sit next to him and talk to him. I do go and sit next to him and we talk about his football and my piano lessons, and that was before Miss Thomas caught us and told us to 'keep it zipped' the rest of the class. Anyway, it's lunch now and I'm sitting at his table with his friends with my friends, Olivia and Gerry. Gerry is a girl, not a boy. She likes to be like a boy though, so she prefers everyone calls her Gerry. Her actual name is Gerrica. But don't call her that, she'll rip you up into pieces.

"So when is your next match?" I ask Jason.

"Oh, um it's this Saturday." Then a little pause later "Do you maybe wanna come?"

"Of course. When is the time? I don't think my mum would mind."

"4 pm to 6pm. Then there is an after - party till 7"

"4 to 7 pm. Saturday. Ok, will see you there"

" Great. I will be there along with the rest of the team and you can come with Olivia and Gerry"

"Ok." The three of us say in unison.

That night, it is decided that Olivia's mum is going to drop us to the game and my mum will pick us up and drop us home. We are to take two sets of clothes. One for the game, and a proper dress for the after-party.
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On Saturday, 3 hours worth of video chatting later, we are getting ready to go. As scheduled, Olivia's mum is here at 3:45 pm. We scramble in the back of her car and resume our chatting.

We reach the game and meet up with the rest. I smile at Jason because he is really happy we came. The game begins, and we cheer for our school. We end up winning, and everyone is elated and running around. In the hubbub, I manage to catch Jason.

"Hey, you were really good out there"

"Thanks"

"Where do we go now?"

"How about let's go change first?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot you have to shower" I giggle.

Once the players are out of the shower, we go to the basement of a nearby restaurant. It's heavily decorated, and I'm not even exaggerating. We party and enjoy ourselves. While me and Gerry are talking about which drink we like best, a boy from the team tells me Jason would like to speak to me. Gerry smiles and mouths 'go get him' I smile and go to where he pointed at. Indeed Jason is there and he is smiling and his face is giving me vibes of something I can't comprehend. Yet.

"Um, Astoria?"

"Yeah?"

"Please dont freak out"

"Hmm?"

"I think you are....are cute." I smile my widest smile yet.

"You think?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

"I do, but I've never had it come out from someone whose not my family's mouth" Did that sound right?

"Oh." He looks put off.

"Jason?"

"Yeah."

I think it's done like this because in the movies I've seen its directly - I love you and whatnot. But you don't tell a boy he's cute. Boys aren't cute. Girls are. Cuteness is a girly thing. But then what are boys? Handsome is a too manly word. Boys can't be described. But then what do I say??? - The thoughts having a traffic jam in my mind right now. Well, here goes.

"I.....like....you?" It's a question. His face lights up.

"Me too. Do you really?"

"Yes" His face has a mixed expression. What happens after the confessing bit is done? Wait no. They kiss. I can't kiss. Also I don't know how to kiss. I really can't kiss. Does Jason know how to kiss? Has he ever kissed a girl before? I know for a fact I haven't ever kissed anyone before. Definitely not a lip kiss. I think it's gross. Will Jason kiss me? No. I can't do it. I just can't. I'm trembling as these thought push around in my mind. I want to run away, but that will seem rude......oh, what do i do? 

I start fidgeting with my fingers.

"Um, so....now what?" He asks me nervously.

"I don't...know?" I say.

He takes my hand in his. His grip is loose. But holding hands is alright. Better than kissing anyway. "Let's go" I tell him softly. He responds by walking, taking me along. Once the party was over, my mum came to pick us up. She sort of realized what was going on, and beamed all the way home. Typical mum.

I threw myself on the bed and laughed like an idiot after that. I don't know why I laughed. Maybe because it was all new for me. What would go on to become of our relationship? Is it a relationship? Whatever it would be. 

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(Present Day)

I remember how I felt. I was so stupid to feel like that. I didn't know exactly a month later, I would consider committing suicide. It was a really dark time for me and my family. I remember everyone trying to console me. I remember Will threatening to kill him. I remember Adri, barely 8 then, hugging and comforting me, even though she had no clue what was wrong with me. I remember dad discussing about moving, because he thought I would have to see Jason and the rest everyday. I remember how even Olivia left my side, just to be popular and follow trends. I hate her for that. I still remember that incident that made my life take a turn for the worst. It was a month after the party. I had been meeting Jason in school and we had been having fun together. Our mothers had met and I, Olivia and Gerry had become common names within the football team. 

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(FLASHBACK - 5 years ago)

"Are you okay, you look pale" Jason asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't feel up to the mark today"

"Story, just...keep me updated, ok?" It was him who came up with that nick name first.

"Yeah" The truth was, I was alright this morning. Now I don't feel like eating, and I have a stomach ache. Must be something I ate. Ugh.

As the day goes on, it becomes harder and harder to ignore the building pain. I had gone to the nurse, taken painkillers, yet no progress. I was sitting in the school assembly when it happened. There was a seminar about Social Media, and I was seated between Jason and Liv. I was feeling restless and kept shifting about. Suddenly, I felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach. I doubled over in pain, shutting my eyes. Jason puts a hand on my shoulder. I feel wierd.

What's wrong with me? Why am I in so much pain? Is it something serious? I want to go to mum....

Then I feel it. I turn over and stand up. Everyone gasps. Olivia screams. I don't know what's going on. One of Jason's friends points at my chair, now stained red. I feel faint and feverish. Jason's hand, that was on my shoulder, withdraws. He looks at me with disgust, like I was something dirty stuck on his shoe. One guy behind me says-

"Oh my god."

"What's wrong?" The teacher, standing at the back asks. Jason stands up from his chair and pushes me away.

"It's her. She has some disease. That's blood on the chair." He says. The teacher, not hearing this, is still looking.

"J-Jason, I don't know what's happening." I croak.

"You're just disgusting, Astoria" He says.

"Olivia, what's happening?" I want to cry. Everyone is looking at me and pointing, looking revolted at me. She's standing there, not saying a word.

"Go home" She says, a stony look on her face. The teacher, sensing trouble, is coming over.

"Jason, listen to me..." I walk towards him. He pushes my outstretched hand hand.

"Eew, keep your filthy hands off me" He says.

"Stay away...." Olivia says.

"That's just gross, you are gross. You're a monster" One boy from the back yells.

"What is going here?" The teacher asks. It's Miss Thomas.

"Yuck, there's blood here, miss." Olivia says, shooting me a look of utter disgust.

"Let me see....oh my god, Astoria. Are you okay, honey? Come here, let's go to the nurse. It's alright, come on here." She beckons me over to her.

"No school nurse can cure that, miss. Astoria is just disgusting. Get away gross girl!" Jason yells. The assembly erupts with the same chanting, pointing and yelling cries of disgust. I feel my eyes well up. Just as a tear is about to fall, Miss Thomas tells everyone to keep silence and continue with the seminar. I'm out of the hall now.

"Here, Astoria. Take this tissue and cover the back of your jeans." She hands me a tissue. I look up at her.

"What's wrong with me, Miss Thomas. Am I dying?"

"No sweetheart. Let's go to the nurse. I'll explain"

We enter the nurse's cabin. She tells me everything's ok, and she's called my mum. She gives me clean clothes to put on. I sit on the bed and Miss Thomas says-

" You're not sick Astoria. You know, when a girl grows up, there are a few changes in her body. Some hormones fluctuate here and there. Has your mother told you about it?" She says softly.

"No..." I say. She tells me it's alright and every girl gets it. She calls it menstruation, where you bleed for around 5 to 6 days every month. It shows your body is working fine and you can have children. Not that I care. It's accompanied by stomach aches, cramps, mood swings, and restlessness. It's like a sickness that girls get every month.

My mother comes and hugs me, stroking my head and kissing me. I stand like stone. She takes me home and into my room. After changing, I come back into my room and sit on the bed, expressionless. My mother, worried, calls Miss Thomas, and she tells her of the events that occured in the assembly hall. My mother, who is already fuming, tells my father. Meanwhile, Adri and Will return from school and ask what happened to me. My father explains something to Adri and my mother tells Will. He is fuming by the time she's done. He asks her to leave my room and let us alone for a bit. My mother leaves. Will sits on the bed and takes my hand in his.

"Story, I -" This has an immediate effect on me.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!! I hate that name....I hate it...." I scream and break down, crying my eyes out. Will sits by me, comforting me. I realise he's crying too.

"I'm going to kill him right now....he has no right to..." He trails off. I continue sobbing into his t shirt. We hear a knock and it's Adri. She hugs me and I hug her back.

"I though Jason was nice. He's so mean. He's a monster." She says. I nod.
And that was the time I was truly thankful for my family. My brother and my sister were there for me, consoling me. My mother was there too and my father, well, he made a decision. So that I don't have to go back to school and face Jason, Olivia and the rest of the kids, he decided to move. We moved to Ohio. I took some time fitting in, but now that's my home. That day, I made a pact with myself that I would never ever love anyone. That I would never allow my heart to flutter for anyone else apart from my family. That I would never, ever love anybody. That I would never, ever like anybody. What Jason and I had wasn't love for sure. I don't know what it was not if that 'i like you' made any difference to either of us. My friends and he left me and my family stood by me. I am ever grateful for them.

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PRESENT DAY

At first I thought it would be hard for me to do it, but the more you try to do it, the better at it you become. I got better and better at rejecting boys these 5 years. And if they are worth it, I friend zone them, like Luke and Leo, and they mostly already have girlfriends. It's pretty easy not to fall for someone. Much easier than you think. I don't care how Jason and Olivia are today, and I don't wanna care either. I shut them out a pretty long time ago. They'd have forgotten me, but I cannot ever forget them, for the wrong reasons. But now I don't try to forget them. Every time a boy insults a girl, I'm reminded of Jason. Every time a friend backstabs her friend, I'm reminded of Olivia. So I can't forget them. They're a part of my life. Of course, this is a long closed chapter for my family, and nobody speaks of them. It's left an impact on all of us, especially Will. I know he remembers and he thinks I don't know, but I do. I know that my family remember too, but they don't openly talk about it. Callie and my other friends don't know either. But I have to tell Callie now that's she's made me say it. I don't wanna shut her out too. She's accepted and stuck by me the way I am and I owe her one for that. I wonder where I'll find the courage to tell her.

Just then, my phone's notification bell rings. People are messaging like crazy. I pick up my phone.

Okay....I dunno how you guys feel about this chapter. As I said, events are purely fictional and exaggerated. So please, respect my sentiments, because I really appreciate you guys for reading. The next chapter will be coming out soon, and this was probably a very cringy chapter to read, also very long. I had to show some severe heartbreak and mental depression on Astoria's side because there has to be some huge reason behind her decisions. I think mental trauma of this kind had to be caused by some serious insult. This was what I could think of. If you didn't like the chapter, I understand. Better times await you in the next ones. Love you guys!

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