I had been staying in my brothers house for around 2 weeks now, since the night of the big fight. Everything was...fine. I was feeling pretty numb, actually. Every day went by so quickly and I was becoming more and more aware of the fact that I hadn't attended school in over two months. My parents knew I wasn't attending, they just assumed that I'd given up on high school completely to become a housewife. They didn't even know I was staying with Daichi yet.

My thoughts and anxieties about returning were swallowing my brain whole, making me dizzy. I knew for a fact I was going to fail everything, as testing season was rapidly approaching and I had missed out on a full two months of course material. Daichi was painfully aware of that fact too, and had been trying to convince me to go back but it really just wasn't working. I was too torn up, too anxious, too weird. However, I did miss my friends.

I spent my day idly passing time by rearranging some of my belongings, when Suga came and knocked on my bedroom door.

"(Y/N), I've got something for you." I smiled and opened the door.

"Yeah?"

"I got you a new charger, so you could charge back up that old brick of yours," he laughed at me. It was an issue, we had been trying to find a charger for my absolute dinosaur of a phone since last week. Suga and Daichi both had relatively new phones so I couldn't even use theirs at any point.

"Oh, wow! Thank you so much, Suga, that's really nice of you," I beamed up at him, I hadn't used my phone in months. I hadn't been allowed to. The only time I could ever contact anyone was if my ex was out of the house and I sneaked onto my laptop to email people.

"No problem, I got you," he threw the charger over to me and I caught it, quickly rushing to plug it into the outlet. I waited around five minutes for it to even show any signs of life. No luck, I thought.

*ring*

Ryu: Hey, (Y/N), remember me? Your best friend? Tanaka? Nah? Whatever. Miss you so much.

*ring*

Nishi: (Y/N), are you alive?

*ring*

Ryu: You better not be ignoring me!

*ring*

Kiyoko: Hey, just wanted to check you're okay. Miss you very much.

*ring*

Coach Ukai: (Y/N), I'm growing concerned for you. Please contact someone at the school soon.

*ring* *ring* *ring*

"Jesus, (Y/N), when was the last time you turned that thing on?" laughed Suga as messages just kept pouring in.

"Um, maybe, like...I have no idea. Months ago," I laughed back. Pretty much all of the messages were from Tanaka and Nishinoya. They were both in the same year as me at school and we usually walked together when I used to go.

"That's crazy. Looks like a lot of people have missed you," he mused. I couldn't lie, I missed them all so much too. It'd been horrible being confined to that nasty apartment for so long.

"Yeah. I wanna go see them all," I said sadly. I knew just showing up out of the blue would probably overwhelm me. They would all have so many questions and I just simply wouldn't know how to answer them.

"I think you should start by going back to school, (Y/N), it's your last year. It's really important to get good marks. I know you did really well last year, so there's no way you won't be able to do the same this year."

"You're awfully optimistic about someone who hasn't even seen the school entrance for two months," I laughed. His encouragement did make me want to go that little bit more, though. I didn't want to just be lounging around Daichi's apartment my whole life. I knew I needed to get a grip and get out there again. "You're right though, I just don't have any hope for myself. I think I'll fail everything, and everyone will be mad at me."

"The only person who's mad right now is me at you for doubting yourself like this. I promise you can do this. I'll even help you study, whatever you need."

"I could never ask you to do that, Suga. You already have so much on your plate with your own studies. Plus, I have so much to catch up on that it'd probably be impossible." I looked down with a sigh, my heart palpitating at the thought of Suga wanting to tutor me.

"I'm going to do it, for you. I made a promise to you that I'd always be there for you, remember?"

For the first time in a while, I looked him straight in the eyes. I could see the desperation he had for me to get better, and I felt the same way too. Every day was easier when he was around. When he wasn't, I felt like a little piece of the new dynamic that had formed was missing. I liked cooking dinners for him and Daichi when they returned home from lessons. I liked going late night strolls with him by my side to clear my head. I liked sitting silently, watching old films and pigging out with him. He looked so handsome and tall, standing in his gym gear, slightly sweaty from returning from a run.

"I guess you're leaving me no choice here."

---

Walking up to the school gates seemed to be the most daunting thing ever, when at one time it was just something I never even thought about. The cast iron fencing making it look like a prison. You can do this. It's only a few hours. You have got this.

By the time my alarm went off this morning, Daichi and Suga had already left to catch the bus to their university, so I was left making some breakfast for myself and dressed into the uniform which seemed to be a little too big for me now. Can a person grow backwards? Because I felt like I'd regressed so much in such a short period of time that I didn't even recognise myself when I looked at my reflection. I bit back painful tears and applied my makeup and made my hair look appropriate.

When I remembered school in my head, it always felt bigger than what it seemed to be like in person. I wasn't even sure if I could remember how to navigate to my class, that's when I heard a familiar, rambunctious voice.

"(Y/N)! Oh my god!" I turned my back to face what could only be described as what a child looked like on Christmas morning. Tanaka bolted towards me, picking me up in the most bone crushing hug I had ever received in my life. I felt anxious at first, feeling like something bad would happen if I accepted this, but then remembered that he was no longer part of my life, so I embraced into the hug whole-heartedly.

"Tanaka," I whispered, nearly crying in his arms. I had missed him so much, he still smelled the same, looked the exact same.

"Why haven't you replied to any of my texts? I was so worried about you! Ah, that doesn't matter, come here," he hugged me tighter if possible.

"I-I don't really wanna talk about it right now, Tanaka. I will talk to you at lunch time and we can catch up, yeah?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Noya will be so happy to see you, too. We should go see him!" he said excitedly, then let go but he noticed my expression, "Actually, I'm really sorry. We can wait, I realise I'm being a bit over-bearing, as usual."

I just laughed at him, "If one thing's for sure, I know I can always count on you to be consistent."

"Yes!"

---

The lessons went by surprisingly quickly. Our teacher was probably the most surprised of all to see me again, she seemed happy though...even if she assigned me a bunch of homework. Sadly, all I could hear during most of the day was whisperings about me and my time off. Rumours were apparently running rampant about my absence. I couldn't blame anyone though, I'm sure I'd have probably participated in that kind of behaviour a few months ago before I'd experienced what I did.

'She came back?'

'She looks so skinny now, I wonder if she was anorexic.'

'Did you see the way she hugged Tanaka when she came in? Hasn't she got a boyfriend?'

'I heard she had been cheating on her college boyfriend with Tanaka.'

'Someone told me she got married in secret and her family disowned her.'

'I thought she was cheating with everyone on the volleyball team.'

The whispers and bitchy comments ceased to a halt when the bell rang for lunch. I quickly grabbed my stuff and made a break for the door, Tanaka hot on my tail.

"(Y/N), where are you going?!" he shouted, practically running after me at this point.

"Home! I'm going home! I'm not fucking coming back here!" I screamed down the hallway, luckily most people had already made their way to the cafeteria or were sitting eating lunch so nobody heard me.

"Stop!" he grabbed my blazer and stopped me, "Let's go to the rooftop, yeah? We can talk about shit." I pulled my blazer back and reluctantly made my way to the stairs.

We climbed our way up the steps, complete silence aside from the scuffing of shoes and distant noises of people conversing in the classrooms. The weather at the top was breezy but still bright. I took refuge at the corner of the building, Tanaka following suit. We both unpacked our lunch and he sparked up.

"What's been going on, (Y/N)?"

"A lot to be honest. I don't really know where to start."

"Okay, well first off, are you safe?"

My breath hitched in my throat. The thought that Tanaka had been wondering all this time if I was safe and not ever being able to get an answer hurt me. He didn't know where I was staying, I hardly ever contacted him...I started to feel really guilty about what I'd been putting everyone through.

"Yes. I'm staying with Daichi and Suga now."

"Really? Well, that's good. What happened with the shitty boy?"

I couldn't help but laugh at him. He always knew how to make things less dark. "He basically came home drunk and we ended up in a huge fight, so I ran away from him and ended up at Daichi's. I haven't seen him since."

"Did he hurt you?"

"Yeah, a bit."

Tanaka stared straight ahead, past my gazing eyes. I could see that he was really angry. I knew how he felt, too. I knew if the same thing had happened to him, I would be questioning all of my actions. "Please don't feel bad. It's over now, and I'm getting over it."

"It's not that."

"What?"

"It's just, I wish I could've been there for you, you know? I felt like I didn't really get the chance," he looked down to his lunchbox, sighing.

"I wish you could've too. But you're here now, and that's the most important thing to me."

The expression he was wearing on his face quickly cancelled itself out as he grinned at me, "Yeah, for sure. I'm just happy you're back on track. You really haven't missed that much..."

"Don't lie to me. Spill."

---

Tanaka and I spent the rest of our lunch catching up, discussing what was going on in class, who was no longer friends with who, who had started dating, how the club was getting on. It made me feel included again. A feeling I had sorely missed for a long time. He convinced me that school wouldn't be so bad if I gave it a few weeks, everyone would start gossiping about someone else eventually. I had to agree, as I remembered from experience that that was exactly what would always happen in our school.

I made my way home by myself, earphones blasting music so I could try and block out the world. Tanaka offered to walk me home, but I refused, saying he should go to practise so he could be in best form for their match next week. When I arrived home, I could hear some music coming from one of the bedrooms. Noting that there was only one pair of shoes at the door, I knew it must have been Suga cause he always got home earlier than Daichi. I knocked on his door.

"Come in," he called, turning his music down.

I hopped into the room and did a little twirl, showing off my uniform, "Guess where I was today?" I beamed.

"No way, you actually went! I'm so proud of you!" He leaped off of his bed and wrapped me in a hug. He lingered there for just a second longer than I thought he would have, making me blush as he stepped back.

"Yep! It's all due to you. However, I've got a massive pile of work I've got to get through to catch up this week, and you promised you'd help!" I smirked. He pretended like he was groaning and flopped back onto his bed.

"I'll help, I'll help, stop begging me," he joked with his arm over his eyes. I felt myself blush even more when I saw that his t-shirt had hitched up a little during the motion of him falling back onto his bed, his light v-lines showing. I looked away in embarrassment.

"Kitchen table, five minutes," I said as I walked away, not realising I wasn't the only one blushing.