Ishita Hassan

I still feel the heat and shiver from his intense gaze all over my body. His face was just inches apart from mine and I became stiff but why wouldn't I pushed him away or knock him up when he gets closer to me?

Even though, this thing makes me feel wrong because he is my boss but honestly I had to admit that I liked it. No guys had ever came that closer to me because I will quickly gapped the distance or gently pushed them away but my will fails when it comes to him. Why is he effecting me this way?

Now, I'm driving back home after a huge talk with Sally. I told her everything that running in my mind about what had happened to me after the scene between me and Nathan. Her reaction for the first was shocked but then she gave me a smirk that covered excitement in it.

"What was that for? " I asked her while leaning back on my chair.

We decided to meet up in our favourite cafe and she quickly flows out with questions about the purpose of our meet.

As soon as I spilled it out to her, she started to speak, "I knew exactly what this mean. " she giggled while saying so and sipped the coffee.

"What? " I asked, being restless of what she got right now.

"If my guess is correct, you are falling for him. " she said in a calm tone while checking on her phone.

"What the hell are you talking? Falling for a guy who I just met in a month? Geez, stop okay. " I annoyingly rejected her exclamation and that made her to narrow her eyes on me.

"Excuse me, missy...This are the basic signs of 'falling for a guy', if your not going to believe me then go to hell. " she bashed while crossing her arms across her chest.

"Woah...calm down there- " I began and she cut me off.

"Stop right there, your glowing whenever you mention his name and he's your CEO but your already calling his name despite the fact that you guys just became friends today. Okay, you don't push him away and I swear, if the situation were more thicken, you would have let him kiss you. " she explained dramatically while demonstrating my actions.

"No. I wouldn't. Why would I let him kiss me? " I was shocked at her explaination but everyone know that it's partially true.

"You would have, Ishu. He affected you very badly and I wouldn't even be surprise if you give him your first time. " she giggled on her last part and I only gasped at her. No way that I will be doing that.

"Sal, you know that I'm not oriented for relationships and I can clearly say that I still don't have the capability to serve or to show love on guys like I did for you guys. " I honestly confessed knowing about my ownself.

"I know, sweetie. But you know what, your love for us or your family wouldn't be the same with the feelings you felt for a particular man. The thing you feel for us is familial but when it comes for a man you fell for, it would be a romantic love. " she lectured as the love expert she is and that made my wheels in my brain to spin.

"Then, what if I couldn't really return their affection? You know, that we all do expect something special from the love of our lives but what if I couldn't give the same thing that he would give to me? " I said my thoughts, the fear of not loving back or to hurt a poor soul that would love me dearly.

Our ancestors told that our soulmates or life partners were already fixed for us when we were born. One day when we meet them, we will love them as much as they do. Like you know they said made for each other and meant to be. But till now I really don't know whether to believe about this told of our ancestors because I simply couldn't see that in mine.

"How are you so sure about that when you never even let or tried to date a guy? Ishu, when you meet the right man...you wouldn't think twice to give him what he deserves. Yes, you will take time to fully admit it but that's how it works. You can't simply give in before you fully trust onto your feelings for him and when you do, there's no turning back from him. " she gave a speech again and I heard it more like an accusation on mem

"Hey, your accusing me for that? No guys have been bravely proposed me or even asked me for a date. Those guys doesn't even have the guts to talk to me so how do you expect me to let give them a shot when they never showed any interest? " I frowned while crossing my arms across my chest.

"Of course, they won't. You know why? Because you never even show them the girly side of you but showing the opposite and...most of all, you easily friend zoned them so how can they convey their feelings to you, idiot? " she sighed frustratingly as she said so.

She had a point there and I couldn't deny it because that was the true. I just never felt anything to any of them but I also never did gave myself the chance to feel anything towards them.

"Okay, I agree but I'm not going to admit that I have an interest on the CEO. He is...affecting me in the weirdest way but he's totally out of my league. So, I guess I don't have to think much about this. " I said hesitatingly and she groaned at me while face palming herself.

"You don't get it, don't you? Whatever...I just don't want you to feel that you lost something at end. " she huffed while checking on her phone again.

"And you know what missy, you have to settle down one day so let me tell you that you are in need to love your husband. I already felt bad for the guy but I hope he will stand his ground to win this stone heart. " she told while dramatically sighing.

"That's why I'm avoiding myself from this marriage stuff and you know what's going on in my house now. My mother had already started forcing me to get married soon because I'm getting old. Like, what the heck? " I huffed and she laughed.

"Is it? I never guessed that my thoughts would be granted this fast.  Oh yeah, I'm happy for you and...congrats in advance, Ishu. " she said while laughing and I narrowed my eyes.

"So don't you wanna go home? Its late now. " I mocked her, ignoring her words just now.

I don't really like the marriage topic and my mother is practically forcing me to search for a guy now or she even going out for suitor hunting. But I don't want to get married because I want to live a reedom life.

I wanna be a spinster, maybe till I enjoy my life because a marriage comes not only with a guy but also commitments and some tied up rules.

Yes, I came from a traditional family and I spend my whole teenage life with books all around me but still with a bit fun there and here. So I want to redeem my life alone or even with my best friends and family to enjoy every dreams of mine but now my mother started to come up with a marriage topic.

But what can I do? I still have to obey her because I love her and I don't want to break her trust. I had to do this at least for my family and everyone knows that this being a spinster thing, wouldn't work for an Indian girl.

"Hello, how do you think I come here? By walking? " she asked while returning back my own reaction and this time I laughed at her.

She rolled her eyes and we stood up. I hugged her from side to chill her mood up and she accepted. We went back to my car and I brought her back home.

I get back home and my mother welcomed me with a hug. She asked me to have dinner but I refused it, saying that I'm tired and wanting to take a shower. Then, I straightly make my way to my bedroom and looked myself onto the mirror.

"What is happening to you? " I asked myself on the reflection from the mirror while tapping both of my cheeks rapidly with my hands.

I was distracted by the buzzing sound of my handphone and I reached to my bag to take it. I unlocked my screen and checked out the message on the notification.

Don't forget about what I said okay. Good night and have a sweet dream, bestie!❤️

It's Sally. I love her so much because she could easily know me and the idiom 'a friend in need is the friend indeed' perfectly fits her. She is my other half but at the same time my part two version of annoying.

I'm not even going to consider anything about what you said and thank you or NO thank you!😒😂

Good night and sweet dreams too, my bestie❤️

I ended up the chat and jumped into my shower, later I went straight to bed but sleep was so faraway from me.

I was partially revealed and confused with what happened the whole day today.