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Chapter 8

Johanna Kaufmann was dreading the day. 

Realistically, it had to happen eventually. She was just hoping she could put it off long enough to run out of time. 

Today was the day Javy was coming over to talk. 

There was a lot to address. The biggest issue being they couldn't get one another out of their own heads. 

So after breakfast and a run to try and clear her head, Jo showered and prepared for what was sure to be an emotional discussion. 

Just before noon, the doorbell rang. Taking a deep breath and a moment to steady herself, Jo opened the door. And as she expected, Javy stood on the other side. She stepped to the side and gestured for the man to come in, locking the door after he did so. 

“Come on, we can sit in the living room.” Jo led the way as Javy observed the temporary home. There was enough decoration that it appeared lived in, but upon closer inspection, it was all stock images. Nothing personal, everything orderly and nondescript. 

“Do you want anything to drink? Water, coffee, soda?” She was still going to be a good host, even if this was not a pleasant conversation. 

Javy nodded in thanks. “water, please.” 

And as he waited for Jo to return with their drinks, he mentally prepared for what the day would bring. 

Javy wasn't too sure what he was expecting to gain from this conversation. Understanding, definitely. But past that? He didn't know. 

He watched as Jo walked back from the kitchen with some water, taking the glass she handed him. 

What follows is an awkward silence, neither of them knowing where to start. But since Javy was the one who was pushing to have a conversation, Jo gestured for him to say something. 

“Might as well rip off the bandaid,” he mumbled to himself before looking straight at Jo. “You've been on my mind pretty much exclusively since that night. I haven't been able to get you out of my head.” 

Jo is only slightly surprised he's being so straightforward. From what she remembered and has observed, he was a pretty blunt person. 

“And I don't know if you believe in all that fate shit, hell I'm not sure if I believe in that. But it doesn't feel like a random coincidence that both of us are here for this mission.” 

He pauses for a moment, giving her a chance to say something if she wants to. And she did. 

“I mean, technically, this is literally the biggest, most random coincidence ever.” He gave her a look, and she sighed. “What point are you trying to make, Javy? Cause I don't believe in all that fate bullshit, so if you're trying to use that as a way in, it won't work.” 

Javy shook his head. “I'm not trying to ‘find a way in’ as you put it. What I'm trying to say is that I'd like to try and see where this could possibly go. I know this mission isn't long, but even in the few days we've been around each other again, I've seen more of you than you think. And I'd like to get to know you more.” 

Even if Jo had been semi anticipating this direction, she was still surprised. “We had one night together, Javy. One night that we were half drunk for. How could you possibly want more off of that?” 

He took a sip of water before answering. “Isn't that how most relationships start? You have a first date or meeting or hookup and want to know more? Why can't it be just that? That you intrigued me, regardless of what you think, and I want to know more? Yea, I had a good time that night, but I've got to be honest, I want it again. And not just the hookup, but everything that comes with knowing you.” 

Jo shakes her head. “Javy we can't. This mission is going to be over quickly, and we both know it isn't easy. The chances of someone not coming home are astronomical. And then you'll be going back to your squadron, and I'll be going back to work. Both of which are just as dangerous.” 

“So you're not even going to consider this? Cause I know there's a part of you that wants the same as me. We wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't. He'll, you would have put me in my place, in front of everyone, if you didn't have even a small part of you that wants this.” 

Javy had a point there. Not that she would admit it. She's had those thoughts just as long as Javy has. 

He looked at her. This was his final push. “I'm willing to give this, give us, a shot. No matter what happens on this mission or in the future. I don't want to regret not trying.”

But Jo wasn't having it. She stood up, hands holding the back of her chair. “You don’t get it! We live dangerous lives! I've already buried more friends than I can count, don't put me through that pain with you as well. I can't handle it.”

Now Javy was standing as well. “So you won't even try it?! What's the point of living if you're too afraid to take risks? And I'm not talking physical risks, you do that every day at work. I'm talking the emotional risks. So you can actually live, not just survive.” 

There were unshed tears in Jo's eyes that she refused to let fall. 

“My heart has been torn apart so many times, I can't fix it. And I don't want to lose what pieces I actually have left by giving them away to someone with a job just as dangerous as mine!” Jo just couldn't see how any sort of relationship with Javy could work. 

Time and time again, she had seen people fall apart and never get back up. It was one of the worst parts of her job. And she was determined not to be one of those people. 

Javy only looked at her. “So where does that leave us?” 

She could only shrug. 

“I don't know.” 

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Word count: 1,036

So they finally had a talk. It may not have resolved the way they, or you, wanted, but Jo has a lot of deep rooted emotional trauma that comes with the job. 

She can't rationalize that love and feelings aren't rational and are too risky with her work. 

Despite knowing many people, specifically in the Navy, she almost won't even think of becoming a Navy wife because she's made so many house calls over the years. 

So it's gonna take a little bit more for Jo to really figure out if she's ready or not to open her heart up. 

Javy just wants to see where things go, so he's in for a ride. 

But we've got a very nerve wracking chapter next that might just put some things into perspective. 

So see you soon. Bye guys!!!

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