It was a somber day. 

Admiral Tom “Iceman” Kazansky had succumbed to his cancer. 

Johanna was attending the funeral, as was most of the local Navy base. The Admiral was someone many respected immensely. And, as much as she didn't want to admit it, Jo wanted to be there for Maverick. 

He was losing his best friend all over again. And she knew what that felt like. 

She wasn't, however, expecting her own bosses to be present. Director Vance, Admiral Killbride, and Gibbs were all in attendance as well. 

(Apparently, Gibbs had assisted in a case during his NIS days, and Admiral Kazansky had appreciated his dedication and attitude to it all. Said he reminded him of someone. Cough Maverick cough.)

In fact, the minute Johanna clocked her former team leader, she went right over to him. He only tilted his head to her in greeting before offering his arm. She looped her own through it, and they continued on from there. 

The pastor was saying some words, a prayer for the departed, before it was time for Maverick to assist his wingman one last time. 

He punched his own wings into the coffin as four jets flew above, breaking off into a lost man formation. A few people flinched as shots rang out in tribute. 

As soon as the proceedings were finished, people went to the Kazansky family, but Johanna went right to Maverick. 

He looked at her, tears very clearly wanting to spill but remaining where they were. Jo simply hugged the man, something that took him by surprise, but he embraced her back. 

“You know that I know what this feels like. So please believe me when I say I'm sorry for your loss. You will hear this a lot, but know I truly am sorry. Losing your best friend and wingman is never easy. But please, don't shut down the way you did after Goose.” 

Maverick looked at the woman in surprise. He had never told her how he acted after Goose had died. “Bradley filled in some gaps that he could remember. But after getting to know you these past few weeks, I can see how you react to certain situations. It's not out of the realm of possibility that you didn't handle that time well.” 

He shook his head in disbelief. “Only you, Johanna, only you.” it gets a slight chuckle from the two of them. “Thank you for telling me about your past. I've never been good at handling loss. It helps knowing there are others.”

Jo gives him one final nod before she steps aside for some old friends of Maverick's to join him. But she is quickly beckoned over to her boss's side. 

Leon Vance could only sigh as his agent walked towards him. “I know this isn't the best place, but I need a sit-rep. What can you tell me about this mission?” 

Jo nodded her head. “Well, it's been moved up a week, so this whole situation will be over one way or another within a week. It's not the most ideal situation. I'd rather have more time to prep the pilots, but I can only work with what I've got.” 

Admiral Killbride had made his way over as well. He wanted to know when he was getting one of his best agents back in the office and not on assignment for someone other than him. 

“It's a risky mission. And we still aren't ready for this, but when can you ever be? It's not like this type of mission has been done before to pull from.” 

Vance took in the information. “Do you think it can be done?” 

Johanna nodded her head. “I have faith in these pilots, even if I want more time. They are the best of the best. I just worry that someone isn't coming home. I've buried too many friends already, I don't want to attend another funeral next week.” 

Killbride lets out a near silent sigh. “Unfortunately, Agent Kaufmann, in this line of work, you will be burying more friends regardless of your wish not to. But I have full faith that you have trained them to the best they can be for this mission.” 

Jo gives a slight smirk, knowing she's about to set the Admiral off, just a little bit. “And Maverick, sir. I'm the covert side of this mission. Maverick's the one that's actually teaching them the flying aspect.” 

The face Killbride makes can only be described as a ‘blah face’. He wasn't exactly thrilled to give Maverick the credit. “Yes, of course. Him as well.” 

That gets a chuckle out of both Vance and Jo before they give their own leave, going to give condolences to the Kazansky family. 

But Johanna isn't alone for long. Gibbs appears at her side, always knowing when she needs to talk. 

Jo might have only been on Gibb's team for a short two years, but he had quickly become someone she relied on and looked to for advice. It wasn't unusual. Most of his team did the same, in some capacity. 

“So what's going on, Jo? And I'm not talking about the mission.” He is quick to give her a look, knowing she would procrastinate on the real topic she wanted to discuss. 

Jo scrunched her nose, never sure how he just knew. “Someone I've come to care for is on this mission. Except, I didn't know how I felt until I saw him again, and we've been around each other.” 

Gibbs took her arm, leading her to a more secluded area of the cemetery. 

“I've already talked to Ellie and Kensi, but I just can't pull the trigger. Like I've told them, like I keep telling myself, I've seen the toll this job has on relationships. With me constantly in potential danger and him flying a damn jet, the risks we take are astronomical. I just don't know if I can take that risk.” 

He was silent through her explanation. And although it was clear to him that Jo already knew what she needed to do, he gave her advice to take that extra step. 

“Do you know why my last 3 marriages failed? It wasn't the job, although it may have played a part.” Jo shook her head. She hadn't been around for all those discoveries, but McGee and Ellie had filled her in a little. 

“It was because they weren't Shannon. I had found the love of my life early on. And I never let her go. Unfortunately, it never gave me the space to allow another person in that way.” 

Gibbs didn't talk about Shannon often, so he had Jo's full attention. 

He sighed, just a bit. This was still difficult to talk about. “Most importantly, I didn't think I could ever have something as wonderful and sweet as my wife and daughter. But my team managed to worm their way in, as I'm sure you have experienced yourself. And yeah, I worry about them all the time. Hell, I keep an ear out to see how you and your team are doing.” 

Jo smiled at that. He had always looked out for her. Callan had told her some of his own stories with Gibbs, each more unbelievable than the last. 

“But we stayed alive by trusting each other. Yes, we've lost people. And yes, you've seen me take that seriously. And it's hurt. It will always hurt. But I would never give up those memories and moments.” 

He took Jo's hands, giving them a squeeze before imparting his most important message. 

“I will never get more moments with Shannon, with Kelly, with Kate, Jenny, or Mike. But they helped make me who I am. Their love picked me up when I couldn't do it myself.” 

Jo had slight tears in her own eyes. This was the most Gibbs had ever talked about his past to her. 

“That pain and sorrow makes me human. But so does the love I still have for them. That is the true difference between surviving and living.” 

“Having people that make all of this worth it.” 

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Word count: 1,353

How was it? I'll admit, I was nervous about this chapter. I've watched NCIS since I can remember, probably shouldn't have started it as young as I did, oops. 

And I really hope I didn't write anyone too OOC. I'm really basing this version of Gibbs on his last season and where he was mental wise. The advice he had given everyone over the years kinda culminated into this. 

We will be getting back into the movie next chapter, so I hope you're ready. Because Gibb's advice is finally gonna push Jo into a direction I'm sure we've all wanted her to go for many chapters now. 

So see you next chapter. Bye guys!!