Niall’s P.O.V.

I sat in my bunk, staring at the book. It was obviously a diary of some kind. I knew it was that girl’s. I needed to give it back to her, but I didn’t know her name.  It was killing me. I needed to know who that girl was. She was just so sad… anyway, don’t most people sign their diary’s with their name? Yeah, her name is probably in there. No Niall, you can’t snoop, I told myself firmly. I felt like I had a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

“Open it; you need to find her name. How else are you going to learn it?” the devil me whispered.  

“It’s not right to snoop! What if it held really embarrassing secrets? It was her diary for a reason!” the angel me whispered.

“Come on, aren’t you curious? You know you want to know what it says,” the devil me said.

That settled it. Curiosity was burning in my chest and I sat up and snatched the little purple book off my pillow. I opened it to the first page and began reading. 

“I know things happen for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew what that reason was.”

Life is going to come and hit you as hard as it can, as many times as it wants, because  that’s what life does; it does its very best to make your life miserable, and you know that you’ve won the game when you actually feel happy. No more misery, no more tears, no more heartbreak, no more of any of the crap that makes life suck. No one wins. Not really anyway.

Only one thing can make life bearable. Love. True love, to be accurate.  Any kind of love other than true love just leads to heartbreak, and then you start losing the game. True love, being with the person that truly loves you, and you truly love them, can make you forget all the crap that life puts you through. They make you smile and they make you feel good about yourself and they just love you for you, more than anyone else in the world can. And life sucks.

The Script says that bad happens for a reason in their song, Breakeven. What I want to know is what that reason is. I think after all I’ve been through, I deserve an answer. What did I do to deserve all of this? This diary is the only thing keeping me sane. And music. Music helps me more than anything. It’s the only thing I can listen to that doesn’t call me a murderer.

I’m not, obviously, but no one believes me. Why would I kill my own brother?  I’m only the main suspect because I have no alibi. And I fought with him before my mother found his body. To the police, they have found their killer. Now they just have to prove it. I want to know how they plan on proving I killed him when I wasn’t even there. Well, to them, I was there. They probably are going to find the murder weapon with my prints on it or something. Just like a crime show. But I’m not the killer. Plan is not correct. Sorry cops, not sorry. All I want to know is who really killed my brother.  

Love…

I eagerly looked ahead for the name.

  The ‘murderer’

"Dammit!" I groaned as I sat backwards and ran my hand through my hair. 

Louis called through the door, "You okay in there mate?"

"Fine!" I answered, gritting my teeth.

Why couldn't she have just put her name there? Why couldn't she have said her name instead of murderer? Because she wasn't one, I knew that one. Her diary was really heartfelt. The first couple sentences were really true and life lessons. Life does suck. Some people just manage to find things that make it bearable. It sounds like this girl hasn't found anything yet. I knew there were other entries. Since I had already started reading it, I decided just to read this one again to see if I could find any clues. 

“I know things happen for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew what that reason was.”

Life is going to come and hit you as hard as it can, as many times as it wants, because  that’s what life does; it does its very best to make your life miserable, and you know that you’ve won the game when you actually feel happy. No more misery, no more tears, no more heartbreak, no more of any of the crap that makes life suck. No one wins. Not really anyway.

Only one thing can make life bearable. Love. True love, to be accurate.  Any kind of love other than true love just leads to heartbreak, and then you start losing the game. True love, being with the person that truly loves you, and you truly love them, can make you forget all the crap that life puts you through. They make you smile and they make you feel good about yourself and they just love you for you, more than anyone else in the world can. And life sucks.

The Script says that bad happens for a reason in their song, Breakeven. What I want to know is what that reason is. I think after all I’ve been through, I deserve an answer. What did I do to deserve all of this? This diary is the only thing keeping me sane. And music. Music helps me more than anything. It’s the only thing I can listen to that doesn’t call me a murderer.

I’m not, obviously, but no one believes me. Why would I kill my own brother?  I’m only the main suspect because I have no alibi. And I fought with him before my mother found his body. To the police, they have found their killer. Now they just have to prove it. I want to know how they plan on proving I killed him when I wasn’t even there. Well, to them, I was there. They probably are going to find the murder weapon with my prints on it or something. Just like a crime show. But I’m not the killer. Plan is not correct. Sorry cops, not sorry. All I want to know is who really killed my brother.  

Love…

  The ‘murderer’

Okay, so she liked the Script. That didn't help. Lot's of people like the Script. She has a brother, and a mom. It doesn't sound like she has any other siblings.  She was about my age, I remember. I just need to find someone who had a brother and was going to be convicted of it. Right. Great, now I only need to find this girl. Try to act positive Niall. This is going to be impossible.

Hey I made it to two pages!!! Yay!!!!!!!!! Sorry I repeated the entry twice, I just wanted to emphasize it. If you actually read it, then I love you!!!