Turnpike Nineteen 

(Written for Forbidden Planet's SFSD 6.0 Round 3 "Classics vs Trashics"

The 'Classic' I chose was "The Swiss Family Robinson" and the 'Trashic' was "Bridget Jones Diary")

New Year's Resolutions 

I will 

Drink no more than 14 alcohol units a week 

Improve career and find new job with potential 

Be more confident 

Be more assertive 

Go to gym three times a week not merely to buy a sandwich

1 January 2522 

23:00 Consumed six units of alcohol today. 

The food on this ship is simply unbelievable! Unbelievably bad that is. Today we had something called turkey curry, and yes, it tasted just as bad as it sounds. I wasn't the only person who needed an extra couple of drinks to wash it down. I don't know where the cook gets his ideas from. There's a rumour going round that he found an old book of recipes, actually made of paper, but I don't believe it. 

Have finally met the family from two cabins down. The Robinsons. Mum, Dad and four boys. Elizabeth is the wife and mother, short and full of energy, looks thirty but must be nearer forty, beautiful eyes. I can't believe she has had four children. William is the husband and father, the serious type, much quieter than his wife who talks enough for both of them. He looks older, his hair is already going grey on the temples, what there is of it. He was a lawyer in Bern but he's spent the last few weeks learning how to do manual labour. When we shook hands, his was quite rough. Rather him than me! 

Then there are the boys. The youngest is only six. He is called Fritz and a real cutie. Ernest and Rudy are the middle ones, then there's Frederick, the oldest boy. I think he's got a crush on me poor kid, he blushed every time I looked at him. He is quite good looking, tall for his age with those gorgeous long lashes that boys often seem to have and don't appreciate. Too bad he is only sixteen. 

The whole family is emigrating to Alconbury to live on a farm! Elizabeth told me they'd had enough of city life. They wanted a place where the boys could grow and 'get back to nature', whatever that means. Sounds like they had a lovely apartment right in the middle of Bern too. They simply packed up and left. I don't imagine they could bring much with them, they'll have to start again from scratch. Quite brave really when you think about it. Made me glad I am just on my annual visit to Aunt and Uncle, tedious as I expect it will be! 

~~~ 

2 January 2522 

14:00 Consumed three units of alcohol today, so far. 

We had an emergency drill this morning. I hadn't had time to read the procedures yet and I wasn't the only one! Total chaos! They made us do it all again immediately afterwards. The Robinson boys of course thought it was the best thing to happen so far, naturally enough they had all carefully read the evacuation instructions, even little Fritz. 

That siren must have taken two years off my life, had to have a small shot of brandy when I got back to my cabin to calm my nerves. 

At least we got to see the Captain, Mark Darcy, again. He came out to give us all a pep talk after the first fiasco of a drill. Swoon. Tall, broad shouldered, uniform, gorgeous smile, what more do I need to say? Super hot. He's probably gay. Note to self - stop obsessing over unattainable men! 

Lunch today was very light, mainly salad. Felt very virtuous after eating it, (but still hungry). We are going through our first FTL jump this afternoon and apparently it makes some people throw up, even though they tell us we'll hardly notice the jump when it happens. We all have to lie in our beds just in case. Just in case of what, one wonders? Reminds me rather unpleasantly of that old story about putting a bag over your head at the end of the world - totally pointless. 

There's the bloody siren again. Warning us to lie down, ready for the jump. I'm lying here now wondering what it will feel like. I have my glass of wine in one hand, my diary in the other. I'm going to describe everything that happens, while it's happening. The countdown has started, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five four, three, two, one. Is it over? I didn't feel-" 

~~~ 

16:35 

Finally a moment to myself! These drills have become seriously annoying. I'm sitting here in one of the lifeboats with all I could grab in the two minutes' warning we had after the first siren. The last drill ended when we lined up in front of the life boats but this time we had to all get inside, quick smart, no arguing allowed. There are ten of us in here, me, the six Robinsons, an elderly couple going to visit their daughter and a single man of about fifty called Cleaver, on his way to a senior position in one of the agricultural companies on Alconbury. No crew. I thought they would have put in at least a couple of the crew to look after us. I suppose if this was a real emergency they would. 

Now for the Jump. Let me describe the Jump. Far from not noticing it, I can honestly say it was the worst feeling ever, sort of like I was looking at myself from inside out. Needless to say I was one of those who threw up. Lucky I had the bag ready, just in case. Be prepared! I'd only just cleaned up and started to feel normal again when the evacuation siren went off. As I said, only two minutes to grab our stuff. I took my diary, of course, my bag with my clothes, and my flask of wine. I hope the brandy is still there when I get back, it was a rather nice drop but I couldn't take everything. How much longer are we going to be stuck in here? 

~~~ 

17:08 

Oh God! They finally told us! This isn't a drill! It's for real, we are actually evacuating the ship. Apparently something went wrong during the Jump and we ended up somewhere else. Not near Alconbury. Near some strange planet that no-one has ever heard of. To top it all off, the ship's drive has stopped. Completely. Now we are being dragged nearer and nearer to this unknown planet, rather like ants caught in a doodlebug trap. 

Everyone in here is trying to keep calm, so we don't frighten little Fritz but the truth is ... 

We are going to crash! 

~~~ 

19:02 

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! 

~~~ 

19:45 

I'm alive! We are all alive!  

~~~ 

20:10 

I still can't believe it. We are all alive. Everyone is shaken by the crash but no bones broken, only bruises caused by the safety harness doing its job. 

William has taken charge. He suggested a minute ago that everyone except himself and Cleaver stay where they are for the moment, I guess he doesn't want everyone milling around and getting in his way. The ship has landed on its side so everyone is held in their seats at an awkward angle by the safety harness and the hatch is somewhere above our heads. I can see William is finding it hard to keep his footing on the new "floor", so I'm quite happy to stay where I am. 

Elizabeth is holding Fritz, he is her first priority.  

William disappears for a moment at the back of the ship, then comes forward with an armful of masks. 

"This is good. There are more than enough gas masks to go around", he says, handing one to each of us. How long will they last I wonder, but don't ask that aloud. There is nothing we can do about it in any case. No one expects a rescue in the next few hours. Do they even know where we are? 

As one, we all crane our necks, trying to see the image of the outside world on the small viewer at the front of the ship. I can see blue sky. Instantly I feel unreasonably reassured, cheered by the false familiarity.  

We must be sitting on something solid but we can't see what, the viewer is obviously pointing upwards, at the sky. At least we are not underwater or buried under ground! 

"As soon as everyone has put on their masks, Cleaver and I will try and open the hatch," announces William. He's not being sexist, they are the only two on board who are tall enough to reach it. 

"Do you have to? What if the atmosphere is poisonous?" asks elderly Mrs Brown in a trembling voice. 

It's true we don't know what the atmosphere is like outside but one thing is certain, there is not enough air in here to keep us alive for more than a few hours. Not to mention no loo! We have to go outside, we have no choice. 

"That's why we are all putting on the gas masks first," William answers reassuringly. He is going from person to person, checking the masks are fitted correctly. I have to put mine on now. 

This could be my last entry. 

~~~ 

20:41 

I'm back! The air is breathable, slightly more oxygen than normal but who cares? We can breathe. I have taken off my mask as I wait my turn to leave the ship. It was very uncomfortable and there was no point in keeping it on, if I'm going to come down with some ghastly virus, a few hours won't make any difference. 

William and Cleaver finally got the hatch open and tested the air with a machine Cleaver pulled out of his luggage. It was designed to test the carbon dioxide levels in glasshouses on Alconbury but it worked well enough for our purposes. William was the first to put his head outside, Cleaver giving him a lift up. His first words had us holding our breath. 

"Water, we are surrounded by water, but I can see land ahead!" he called back down. Before any of us had time to panic, (were we sinking?) and even if we weren't, we could hardly row a large metal spaceship to shore, he added. "Wait, the ship appears to be stuck on something, a sandbar or reef perhaps. We aren't moving, even a little bit. I'll get out and have a closer look." 

Cleaver gave another heave, and William's legs dangled in the air for a moment before he hauled himself out of the ship. "The shore is only a couple of hundred metres away. I'm going to check how deep the water is," calls William. "It looks shallow, perhaps we will be able to wade over." 

The Robinson boys of course were out of their seats in seconds, begging to be lifted out next to see for themselves. Their enthusiasm is contagious, even I am starting to feel a little bit excited. What will this world look like?  

We all heard the splash as William landed in the water. I hope he can swim. I could hear his voice outside but his words were muffled. Cleaver wanted to get up and see what was happening for himself but no-one else was strong or tall enough to lift him. Frederick volunteered in his place, and in less than a minute he was standing up on the top of the ship. 

"Dad's wading across," he told us excitedly. "The water is up to his waist. He says we should wait until he checks it out, makes sure it's safe to follow him." 

Cleaver was already looking around the ship's cabin, trying to find something he could use as a ladder to get the rest of us out. All the seats were welded to the deck and in the end he made a makeshift ladder come pulley arrangement out of people's clothes. I don't think my black trousers will ever be the same again, but I suppose we all have to make sacrifices. 

While all this was going on, Frederick gave us a running commentary, trying to placate his brothers. "I can see trees, they look a bit like palm trees, coming right down to the edge of the sand. It's just like those pictures we saw of a tropical island, well sort of, except the trees are a paler greenish sort of blue colour. And the sand is glittery, like it's got quartz in it or something." He paused. 

"Dad's waving. He's coming back, looks like he's giving us the all clear." Before anyone could say anything, Frederick disappeared over the side. 

~~~ 

22:00 

I don't know why I'm still bothering to record ship's time, habit I guess. It's broad daylight here, probably somewhere near the middle of the day. 

It was a huge effort but we eventually got everyone out, even the Browns.  

William and Frederick immediately set to work making a small clearing at the edge of the forest, a few metres back from the high tide line, using those skills they had learned in preparation for their new life on Alconbury. The plants seem similar enough to those we are familiar with, the stems and trunks hollow like bamboo, and our lasers slice through easily. No-one has seen any animals yet, or birds, though Fritz swears he saw a lizard-like creature, scuttling away from the newly cleared area. He called it a dragon. I ask you, kids! 

The plan is to set up camp in the clearing when they finish. Meanwhile, the rest of us made several trips back and forth to the ship to retrieve our belongings. We took everything we could move, even things we couldn't see any use for at the moment such as the harnesses from the seats. As Cleaver pointed out, there's no way of telling how long the ship will stay on the reef. If a storm blows up anything could happen. I admit it was a relief to find six tent packs in the emergency supply hatch, as well as flares and signalling equipment, I wasn't looking forward to spending the night in a shelter made of fronds! 

There was also a supply of ship's rations tucked away in the back, enough for a couple of days at least. William handed out one packet to each of us, it tasted quite good as a matter of fact, better than the turkey curry at any rate. 

The one thing we couldn't budge, despite our best efforts was the control panel or even the part of it that is transmitting our distress code out into space. We'll just have to hope it continues to transmit, even if the ship is washed away. I suppose the real question however, is whether or not anyone is out there to receive it. From the scarce amount of information the crew provided before the crash, we could be in a totally unknown section of the galaxy. 

~~~ 

Day Two 

I managed to get a few hours sleep last night despite the strange noises, perhaps there are creatures here that are nocturnal, but in any case I didn't go out to have a look! I have my own tent, as does Cleaver, the rest are shared between the Robinsons and the Browns with the sixth being used as a supply hut. No-one else had seen what caused those strange sounds in the night, although Ernest and Rudy volunteered to stay up tonight and see if they could catch a glimpse. Needless to say, Elizabeth was not keen on the idea, but we will see what happens. 

There has been no sign of anyone else from the Voyager. I saw three other lifeboats during the drill but there may well have been more, presumably the crew had a way of getting off the ship. For all we know, other survivors could be on the beach a few kays away from us. William and Frederick are going to walk left along the shore and Cleaver and I will go right to see what, if anything, we can discover. Elizabeth and the boys are going to explore the immediate surrounds and use another of Cleaver's wonderful machines to test what might be safe for us to eat. The Browns are going to rest, I think everyone noticed how pale Mr Brown looks. 

It is essential to do something, we'd go crazy just sitting here waiting to be rescued. As long as there is something to do we can keep the panic at bay. We are all pretending this is an adventure, well it is an adventure for the younger boys, no-one has expressed aloud the fear that must be in every adult's mind, that we might be trapped here for the rest of our lives. 

~~~ 

Day Three 

Yesterday I was exhausted after our fruitless walk. The glitter in the sand, so attractive at first glance, is very hard on the eyes, a constant glare. Daniel and I walked for four hours before we turned back and all we saw was more of the same, trees, sand and water, although the shore curved ever so slightly, giving credence to Frederick's original guess that this is an island. William and Frederick had no more luck than we did, although Frederick is keen to try again today and wants to keep going until he reaches us from the other side. Good luck with that!  

William let off two of the flares last night, just in case anyone might be able to see them. How long will it take before the authorities find us? Surely they began a search the instant we failed to re-emerge into normal space and in any case, our relatives would be demanding to know what had become of us. I wish they'd get a move on. Mr Brown needs more help than we can give him with the ship's first aid kit, I think it's his heart. All he can do is rest and try not to worry, easier said than done! 

More alarmingly for the rest of us, so far we have not found anything suitable for human consumption. The plants are not poisonous, just indigestible, as Fritz discovered to his discomfort when he ate a yellow fruit bearing an unfortunate resemblance to a banana. 

One piece of exciting news to report, Ernest says he caught a glimpse of one of the creatures making all that noise last night. His description reminded me of an extinct Earth creature called a lemur, you know, the ones who were supposed to be part of the human family tree. I wonder if that means there are apes here or even people? I made the mistake of voicing these thoughts aloud and it caught the boys' imagination like fire. 

"What if we are the first people to discover aliens?" asked Ernest excitedly. "We'll be famous!" 

"I bet they'd be pretty primitive," countered Frederick. I could tell he was a bit miffed he hadn't seen the creature himself. 

"Why do you say that?" 

"There's no sign of any ships or anything in the air. No lights at night," his brother stated thoughtfully. "And no-one has come to investigate us, they could hardly miss three spaceships ploughing though the atmosphere!" 

We finished the last of the rations tonight. Tomorrow William says he will try fishing. 

~~~ 

Day Four 

Mr Brown passed away in the night. William and Daniel dug the grave and Elizabeth spoke a few words. Mrs Brown is only just bearing up. A bad day for everyone, so hard to stay positive. 

Are we going to be stuck here forever? 

~~~ 

Day Six 

Already sick of fish. Shouldn't complain, at least we can eat it, right? But what wouldn't I give for some chips and vinegar and a bottle of wine to wash it down! Even turkey curry sounds good to me now. Dreaming of food and a hot shower! 

~~~ 

Day Seven 

Disaster! Little Fritz fell out of a tree this morning, which he had been expressly forbidden to climb, and broke his arm. Elizabeth has done the best she can to set it but none of us are trained medics. He is in a lot of pain, I don't know what we will do when the pain killers run out. 

Still no sign of other survivors, or indeed of anyone at all. Ernest's lemurs though are becoming quite tame. They are very cute but I can't help wondering what they taste like! 

~~~ 

Day Eight 

Rudy claims he saw a ship! A silver streak in the sky. 

We all rushed to his side and peered up into the air but no-one else could see anything. For a moment I felt as if I could have killed the little brat for getting our hopes up! Rudy swears black and blue he saw a ship and William set off our last flare, nothing to lose I suppose. 

Even Rudy stopped staring at the sky after a couple of hours and came inside the tent for tea. More fish. When will we start to get scurvy or one of those other vitamin deficiency diseases I wonder? 

Then Ernest saw it again, on his way back from a trip to the loo. "Up there! Right above us. A silver ship!" 

We all rush out of the tent, our hands shading our eyes as we peer heavenwards. Can it be true? Have they finally found us?  

"I see it! I see it!"  

"It's coming down! Thank god! Thank god!" 

"At last! We're saved!" 

Immediately my mind jumps to a picture of me, freshly showered, in clean clothes sipping the most expensive wine I can afford as I dig into a hot roast dinner. Before I can start to worry that I am a really a shallow person, William says in a puzzled voice, 

"That's an odd shape. It doesn't look like a patrol ship or even a trader." He turns to Daniel Cleaver. "Have you seen anything like that before?" 

Daniel shakes his head, silent. 

The ship is now clearly visible to us all. A liquid silver dart, with no indents or projections to mar its sleek surface. We are all staring as it gets nearer, obviously heading towards us. 

"Where are the viewports?" asks Fritz. 

***