『Chapter Thirty-Three』
『the overwhelming memories』

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The Benatar jumped out from a jump point, in front of them was Xopheila, it's blue-ish green tint had glowed giving some form of light. The Guardians plus Kain were gathered within the cockpit of the Benatar, both Jace and Kain stiffened as the rest had looked at the planet in amazement. The sight of the planet alone made Jace not want to step foot on the planet, but he knew that he had no choice. Kain had hugged Jace's arm in hopes to comfort both himself and Jace. Xopheila had some of the best yet worst memories which made everything worse.

When it came to thinking about his like here, Kain couldn't help but remember the pain in Jace's voice when he told Kain that they had to break up. He couldn't help but remember the day that they were caught, it wasn't exactly the best positions to be caught in but the fear in his father's eyes was something which mentally scared Kain. He could remember the way of which Jace held him before he left in the middle of the night—Jace had given him one last kiss before saying that it would be safer. He remembered the way that he begged Jace to stay, to remain by his side or to at least take Kain with him.

He could also remember how his father ran him out of his planet because Kain dared to express his interest in men knowing that his father hated the idea of one of his children could be queer. He remembered the way that his father yelled at him, wanting to either force Kain into a marriage with a woman in another kingdom, one who didn't know about Kain's transgressions with Jace or to kill Kain for ever being in a relationship with Jace.

And yet, despite all of the negative memories that he had on his own planet, Kain could still remember meeting Jace for the first time, he remembered their first kiss, he remembered everything when it came to Jace. Kain still smiled at the memory of seeing the way which Jace tried to steal something from his room. Kain remembered confessing how he felt for Jace who seemed shocked about it as a whole before kissing him—that had been their first kiss.

Kain found himself looking towards Jace who seemed in a daze, Peter had also given Jace a look noticing something playing out behind Jace's eyes. There was something about the way that Peter looked at Jace which made Kain almost miss his siblings, to know that Jace and Peter were like brothers made Kain realise that all that he wanted was a chance to have that relationship with his siblings again, though he knew that there was a chance that they hated him for all that he'd done.

Throughout the time that he'd been away from his siblings, he'd wondered how they've been, whether they'd thought about him, whether they knew that what he did was for his own state of mind and his desire to be free. Kain wondered whether his younger siblings remembered him; his triplet siblings who were at least 10 when he last saw them, he wondered whether they ever thought about him or knew who he was. He wondered a lot when it came to his siblings and the memories that they have with each other.

When Kain looked at Peter and Jace now, there was a part of him that wondered whether or not he'd be able to get that kind of relationship back with any of his siblings. He remembered a time when he was jealous over the way that Jace spoke about Peter, but to see their bond like this, made Kain realise that he just missed having a sibling around him who cares about him in the same way that Peter cares about Jace.

Kain noticed the way that Peter stood up, walking towards Jace. Peter gave Kain a small nod as if the pair of them were in an understanding that Jace was in pain, almost in as much pain as Kain was. As much as this was painful for Kain, this was probably as painful as it was for Jace. Kain wanted to comfort Jace in this, as much as he wanted Jace to comfort him, but he knew that in his state, he wouldn't be able to comfort Jace in the way that he needed. He watched as Peter pulled Jace away from the group.

Jace's thoughts were all too much for him to bare the second that his eyes landed on Xopheila, so when Peter pulled him away, Jace found himself hugging Peter in an instant for a sense of comfort, he felt too overwhelmed with it all, the memories of what had happened the good and the bad. Peter had rubbed Jace's back as the pair stood in a hug in silence, Jace could feel the way that he shook and there was a part of him that hated it. Jace grasped at Peter's jacket as he tried to get his breathing under control.

The thoughts of Xopheila were something that both comforted him and made him feel an intense guilt that it was enough to send him into a panic. He knew that this was worse for Kain given everything, but the thought that he ruined everything for Kain in some sense was enough to send him into such a panic. He felt as if he were being pathetic in some way, that there was nothing for him to panic about given that Kain had it worse, he knew that he had no reason to be panicking in this way, but he couldn't help it.

He knew that everything could be worse, but at the same time he was afraid because there was a chance that he was going to see Emperor Aegon once more, after this job was finished. He knew that if Aegon was to see him once more, then there was a chance that Aegon would want some compensation for the disgrace that he brought on the entire family. A part of him was afraid that there was a chance that he might be killed by Aegon if the emperor could have his way.

"Jace," Peter whispered, "it's okay. Just remember the Nova Corps have your back if anything bad happens. You have us. You have me and I'm not gonna let anyone have you. You're my brother, Jace, and you are safe. If it helps you get to beat something up."

"Yeah," Jace muttered. He hadn't let Peter go; he couldn't stop himself from shaking. He felt as if everything was crashing down on him, the stress of Kain, the stress of Adrian, the stress of putting all of them in danger, the temptation to run away to save everyone from being harmed. Jace wouldn't know what to do if Peter had gotten hurt in any way possible. He couldn't even begin to picture any of them being hurt because of Adrian and him.

There was too much going on in his mind at the moment, it was going to drive him insane. He thought that the only thing that he'd have to be concerned about was his heritage and the assassin's after Kain. Though, it seemed as if life designed another path that was made to stress him out and that was something that he hated more than anything.

After a moment, Jace found himself pulling away, giving him a simple nod as if to say that he'll be okay. Jace noticed the way that Peter looked at him as if he'd questioned Jace and his feelings, though Jace just gave him a quick nod as if to assure Peter that he was okay. Jace felt as if he couldn't form an actual sentence, everything seemed like a struggle at the moment, he could picture the words in his head, yet he couldn't speak to them.

Jace found himself walking back to the others, his hand reached out for Kain's hand, lacing them together. Jace could feel the way that Kain squeezed his hand, whether it was to comfort himself or Jace, he wasn't too sure. Jace found himself looking at Kain, noticing the small smile that Kain gave him. As much as Jace wanted to talk to Kain about all of it, but he found it hard to talk to Kain about it despite the fact that Kain was the only one to understand everything.

Instead of saying anything, Jace tried his best to give Kain a smile, though he ended up lowering his head slightly, taking in a small deep breath. Jace could feel the way that he was shaking, he knew that there was a chance that Kain could feel the way that he shook, he wanted to keep it all down as much as he could, knowing that he needed to support Kain. Jace wanted to focus on Kain and how this was affecting him but at the same time he didn't know what to say.

Jace found himself raising their laced hands and kissed Kain's knuckles. He could feel the way that Kain rubbed circles on Jace's hand with his thumb, it was something that made him smile ever so slightly. It amused Jace on how Kain was trying to comfort him—or Kain was trying to comfort himself—the grip on their hands grew, Jace hadn't dropped their laced hands away from his lips. Jace found himself mumbling a small promise under his breath that he'd protect Kain as much as he could.

There was a moment where Jace and Kain were standing there in silence, their hands squeezing each other's as a way to try and ground one another. It was almost enough for Jace to have Kain beside him, to feel how warm Kain was beside him, it was some form of comfort for him, to know that he had someone to focus on. Jace found himself pulling Kain closer to his side, wrapping his arms around Kain's shoulder, Kain's hand still in his hand. Kain leaned into Jace's side and Jace found himself kissing Kain's temple.

Jace noticed the way that they were starting their descent onto the planet, there was this urge inside of him that wanted to tell the others to ignore this job and to turn around, though he shook his head slightly. He knew that he couldn't turn back now, he knew that it was for the best if they continued with the job no matter how hard it would be for Jace to even be on the planet and to worry about Kain's safety if Kain remained on the ship.

Jace hadn't noticed the way that Kain moved, detached himself from Jace, he briefly looked towards Jace before shrugging off his jacket (they had switched jackets when Gamora had gotten them earlier) and handed it to Jace who looked at it in confusion. He stared between both the jacket and Kain, the worried expression was still clear in his eyes despite him trying to calm himself down. Kain's jacket was one of his prince's jackets, it was a similar red to Peter's jacket though was slightly darker.

Kain seemed to notice Jace's hesitation. "Take it," Kain insisted. "It might help to have something which might relax you more. Plus, I know that you only wear these because they smell of me, you used to say that it helped you calm down." He shrugged slightly giving Jace a small smile.

Jace hesitantly given him a look, it warmed his heart to know that Kain remembered the way Kain's scent seemed to calm him down in the weirdest way. It took Jace a moment before he then took hold of the jacket. Jace took off his own and had passed it to Kain, giving him a small smile before he then wrapped himself in Kain's jacket. Jace took in a deep breath, it smelt like Kain—like flowers and a familiar aftershave which reminded Jace of autumn on Earth in a way. A smile formed on Jace's face as he then fiddled with the zip of the jacket.

Jace mouthed a thank you to Kain who smiled at him, it was the only thing that he could do within that moment, he felt like the panic made him lose his voice slightly. He'd noticed the way that Kain put Jace's jacket on, there was something about the way that Kain looked in Jace's jacket made him smile slightly.

He found himself shifting slightly, he'd noticed how far they'd entered the atmosphere of Xopheila, the familiar sightings of the planet was enough to have every memory of this planet to rush back into his mind. The royal blue of the castle blended in well with the pale blue of the sky, the towns and villages which surrounded the rest of the planet were various shades of green to blend in with its large masses of fields. The only thing which stood out was the purple shade of the people who all looked up as the Benatar flew passed.

Blinky red lights had caught their eyes as Rocket guided the Benatar to where the lights blinked. Jace knew that it was a parking platform for ships that they were heading towards. He noticed the way that Kain backed away from the cockpit, how tense Kain looked at the thought of being so close back home. Drax, Gamora, Rocket, and Peter were looking around in delight and wonder as they passed through the planet, clearly being sucked into the beauty of the planet. Jace couldn't blame them, it was a stunning planet just with a nasty monarch who Jace really wanted to stab.

Jace found himself following Kain as he backed away, knowing that the memories would be hard for Kain. Kain was fiddling with the rings on his fingers and hadn't noticed Jace beside him. The golden shine of the rings had always managed to distract Kain from his thoughts, though Jace could tell that it wasn't enough to distract him now. Jace found himself reaching out and grabbed hold of both of Kain's hands which caused him to jump slightly, Jace didn't take any notice of it as he then rose both of them lacing them with his own hands.

"Everything will be fine," Jace said. "You'll be safe here. I've decided to put you in charge of Groot, you'll stay here with him. He's small and will keep you company—plus he'll distract you enough that you won't notice that we're gone."

"I'll notice," Kain muttered though a smile tugged on his lips. "I won't be getting any of your hugs or kisses."

"Then," Jace somewhat grinned, "you'll have something to look forward to when I get back."

Kain then detached their hands and hugged him tight. "Come back to me, baby."

"I promise." Jace mumbled. "I'll come back to you, my prince."