My return to consciousness was gradual. Waves of pain swept through my body, the worst of them causing me to crack open my eyes as I cried out. Mom was at my side before the sound even finished echoing, her face pale and tear-stained. Her hand trembled as she reached out and touched my cheek. "Drew," she breathed, her voice breaking. Dad swam beside her, a mix of worry and concern on his face.

Mom swam to the door, opened it a crack, and spoke to whoever was on the other side—Dr. Murphy, presumably. I didn't even try to make out their words. I leaned against the pillows and closed my eyes, breathing slowly and deeply. When I opened my eyes again, I winced as Jonah's eyes met mine from behind Dad. Concern and worry warred for control on his face, but quiet anger blazed in his eyes.

The door opened wider as Dr. Murphy swam inside. Concern shone in her eyes, contrasting with the frown on her face. She took a deep breath before speaking. "The doctors stitched up the wound in your back during surgery, but the recovery period is going to be extensive. I would advise you to stay in bed for at least a month before returning to your routine. The stitches should come out on their own, but keep an eye out for infection. Let me know if any problems arise."

She glanced at the four of us, obviously sensing the weighted tension in the room. Mom thanked her as she left. Jonah's voice was dangerously low when he spoke, sending guilt shooting through me. "What were you thinking? You, of all people, should know not to go out with an injury like that. You're lucky it wasn't worse." He didn't say anything else, but his unspoken words were clear.

Unbridled anger surged through me, overriding the pain as I pushed myself to a sitting position. My words were low and sharp when I spoke, rage and exhaustion fighting for control. "I was thinking I couldn't be in my room or the palace for one more second. I was thinking I couldn't handle the memories that swarmed me whenever I swam past your suite. I was thinking of how much I missed my sister and how my grief was eating me up inside. That, Jonah, is what I was thinking." I all but spat the word.

As my words echoed in the now-silent room, I saw more than felt the impact. Mom blinked rapidly to quell the tears forming in her eyes; Dad just stared at me, grief and sorrow warring for control of his expression. Jonah was the worst—the combined grief and pain in his eyes was too much to bear. His voice was rough when he spoke, the words thick. "I know you're hurting. We all are. But did you even stop for a second to think about what it would do to your parents if you died? They already lost Faye; I don't think they could survive losing you, too."

Mom swam to my side, placing a trembling hand on my arm. Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes, but she didn't say anything. A knock on the door made me break her gaze, but I didn't speak. Jonah glanced at the door and then back at me. "I got in touch with Ani." At my surprised look, he gave me a knowing one in return. "She cares about you. A lot. Think about that before you end up pushing her away." His voice was low, and venom laced his words.

Without another word, he left the room with Mom and Dad trailing him. When Ani stuck her head inside, the worry on her face sent a bolt of shame through me. Jonah's words from moments ago floated through my head, sending daggers of shame straight to my heart. "'Think about that before you end up pushing her away.'"

Swallowing hard, I met her gaze but didn't speak. When she did, her voice was quiet. "I haven't let myself care about anyone since my aunt died."

She paused as if debating whether to continue. I gave her space, allowing her to decide if she wanted to. "My aunt died of coral poisoning when I was five. We're originally from Aquireth, but we moved to Pelathas about five years ago. My dad left when I was eleven.

"After my aunt died, my mom did all she could to take care of me and my sister. She ensured food was on the table, and Della and I had somewhere warm to sleep every night. We never had much, but we made do with what we had. In the days, weeks, and months following her murder, it was all I could do to remember to eat. I didn't leave the house or speak to anyone. When the waitress position opened up at The Bronze Mermaid, I immediately applied."

Unconsciously, my hands curled into fists at my sides. Faye's face flashed through my mind, warm and smiling, and I had to look down as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. I felt more than saw Ani tracking the movement, but luckily, she didn't say anything as she continued. "When I first saw you that day, I knew something had happened. I could tell you were hurting—that something horrible had happened. After my aunt's murder, I swore to myself that I would never close myself off like that ever again."

I heaved a breath, letting it out slowly. To my horror, I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks, but I did my best to brush them away before she continued. "When Jonah told me what had happened, I rushed over as soon as I could. All I could focus on was the crushing fear that had been seconds away from consuming me—that someone I cared about was dead, and I couldn't do anything about it."

This time, I watched a few tears slip down her cheeks. She ducked her head as she swiped at her face. "I haven't been in many romantic relationships because of what happened with my aunt. I worry that I might lose someone if I care about them too much."

She was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "Faye and I had that in common, I think. I saw how she was with Jonah before her death—she cherished every single moment with him because she didn't know if either of them would live to see the next day."

I grunted as I shifted on the bed, wincing as the movement caused my back to twinge. Ani's eyes widened. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get your parents?"

I sucked in a breath through my teeth, hissing softly. "No. I'm fine."

But I wasn't. When I looked at Ani, I didn't see the concern and worry creasing her features. I saw scorn twisting her lips; I heard her harsh voice, her sharp and venomous words. "'You didn't have their backs when they needed you. Now they're dead because of you. Are you going to wait until every single one of your family members is dead, and you're all alone? You couldn't protect your family when they needed you. What makes you think you can protect anyone else?'"

I took a slow, steadying breath, reminding myself that the real Ani—the one floating in front of me with such concern and worry on her face—would never say that to me. My voice was surprisingly steady when I spoke, the words pouring out from somewhere deep inside me. "I know what you mean. Before I met you, I'd never even thought about a romantic relationship; I hadn't ever considered it. I was so focused on surviving the day ahead that it never even occurred to me that I could be capable of caring about someone like that.

"But when you spoke to me that day in the Bronze Mermaid, something clicked. As you said, it's hard being in a romantic relationship because you worry that you might lose someone if you care about them too much. When Faye died, I hit rock bottom. I didn't leave my suite for weeks; I barely ate or slept. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw her face or heard her voice. She was my only remaining biological family member and the last connection I had to our birth parents."

I let out a breath, squeezing my eyes shut. When Ani spoke again, her voice was as earnest as I'd ever heard. "In the short time I've spent with you and your family, I've felt and seen love the likes of which I haven't since my parents died. I felt a connection the first time I saw you at the Bronze Mermaid. Even before I opened my mouth, I saw someone who'd been through hell and back yet still managed to face each day."

She sniffled, taking a shaky breath. "You were the first merman with whom I finally felt safe to talk about my parents. In the years since it happened, the only person I'd spoken to about it was my aunt. My dad was her brother; I think she took it the hardest. She grieved silently, but I felt her pain as if it were my own.

"I still have nightmares about that day. I can smell the blood in the water; I can hear my mom's scream and my dad's shout as if they're right beside me. I wake up every night in a cold sweat, shuddering, but it's not the sight of their lifeless bodies that haunts me."

I was frozen, hands clenched into fists at my sides, breathing heavily. I knew what Ani was going to say; I knew, and yet, I found myself opening my mouth and trying to beat her to it. To stop her from saying the words I knew would alter our relationship irrevocably. I genuinely cared for her and wanted us to continue exploring what was between us, but I didn't know if I could handle the grief that was seconds away from surfacing on her face.

The tears glistening in her eyes were my undoing. Almost unconsciously, I found myself reaching for her and trying to get out of bed. The sound of her voice as it broke brought back every emotion I'd successfully locked away since Faye's death. Every negative emotion I'd felt hit me like a slap. "It's the look of pure grief and regret on Jacob's face—the realization that even a merman who'd just committed an unspeakable act can feel shame, remorse, and guilt."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. By the time I finally got out of bed, trembling with the exertion, Ani was halfway out the door. "Ani," I rasped, my heart thudding in my chest. "Please."

When she turned and met my gaze, I saw tears of grief and heartbreak shining in her eyes. As if a physical blow had hit me, I clutched my chest, reeling. Her parting words were somehow comforting and agonizing all at once. "I genuinely wish I could say I didn't hate your birth father for what he did. But I don't—and have never—hated you or your family. You were the first merman who looked at me with no trace of sympathy in your eyes. I felt like myself, something I hadn't felt since my aunt died."

Without another word, she swam back to me and brushed a kiss across my forehead, barely a touch of her lips on my skin. I felt the tears rising, but I managed to hold them back just until the door shut behind her. Great, heaving sobs burst from my chest, born from hidden grief, anger, and regret. I took one stroke forward and then crumpled on the ground. I rarely cried, but lately, it was happening way more frequently than usual.

I hated showing that weakness, that vulnerability. I hated that I'd been the cause of the tears in Ani's eyes on multiple occasions. But most of all, I hated myself.

I didn't know when it had started, but I knew one thing with absolute certainty: I was glad Faye wasn't here, if only because she wasn't around to see how deep my self-hatred went. I did not doubt that if she saw me now, her eyes would reflect the same scorn and remorse as Ani's. I wasn't sure when he'd slipped back in, but I felt Jonah at my back, his presence surprisingly comforting.

When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. I turned and blinked up at him through blurry eyes, the silence nearly tangible between us. "Faye and I had each other to lean on during her battle with depression. If what I'm seeing right now is any indication of what's coming, you'll need Ani to lean on." I swiped at my face in time to see his eyes lock on my own, the expression in them deadly serious.

"Let her in, Drew. Before it's too late."

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