Something—the lingering emotions from yesterday, the truth Dad had revealed and the various emotions that had followed it, or recalling the devastated look on his face—drew me from sleep early the following day. The water beyond the palace was still dark as night, yet I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. Not with his words still ringing in my head, sorrow infused in every syllable.

Not when I could still feel the waves of grief, sorrow, loss, rage, and agony rippling off him, the same that was now swirling inside me. I wondered if he'd told Mom yet—if he'd mastered himself enough to rip open that old wound again.

I knew he'd tell her when he was ready, but I was terrified of her reaction. Especially since we were all still processing Faye's death. Without thinking, I sat up in bed and stretched my arms over my head—a movement I'd done countless times before without thought.

This time, however, a bolt of pain sliced across my back, drawing a muffled cry of pain from my lips. Wincing, I reached over my shoulder and gingerly touched the wound, hissing when my fingers came back dotted with blood. I knew that if I swam into the bathing room and looked in the mirror, I would see the ugly wound staring back at me.

I wasn't surprised, though—with all the strenuous activity I'd done in the past few months, I'd known it was only a matter of time before the wound eventually reopened. Before I could lose my nerve, I pulled my shirt over my head and winced as it brushed against my wounded back. As much as I wanted to hide in my suite all day, I knew either Mom or Dad would worry if I didn't show up for breakfast. I gently opened and closed my door, heading out of the palace under cover of darkness, knowing that very few others would be awake at this hour.

Which is what I needed. I didn't have a specific destination in mind; I only knew that I needed to get away from the palace and the memories it contained. I'd show up to breakfast to soothe Mom and Dad, but as soon as possible, I would haul tail and leave the palace far behind. Unsurprisingly, I found myself in front of a row of graves, the sorrow welling up inside me until I could no longer contain it.

Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking sobs burst from my lips as Dad's words from yesterday swirled around in my head. "'Unbeknownst to me, or even Bella herself, our father had injured her enough in one of his numerous attacks that he'd ruptured her pelvis, nearly killing her in the process. That's why neither of us ever dated or married anyone—seeing that heartbroken look on anyone else's face was just too much to bear.'"

As I floated in front of Faye's, Carla's, and Ella's graves, I did the one thing I had sworn to myself I would never do: I gave in to the voice in my head that constantly reminded me of my mistakes and flaws. To my horror, the voice was jarringly familiar: someone I trusted. Someone who had shown genuine concern and worry for me. "You didn't have their backs when they needed you. Now they're dead because of you. Are you going to wait until every single one of your family members is dead and you're all alone?"

Ani's voice was loud in my head, growing until it eclipsed everything else, including my breath and heartbeat. "You couldn't protect your family when they needed you. What makes you think you can protect anyone else?"

Breathing heavily, I floated there for several minutes, hands clenched at my sides. I did everything I could to dispel Ani's voice: I pictured Carla, Ella, and Faye in my head, conjuring up their voices to be louder than the former's. If anything, that made it worse. Instead of their bright and cheerful laughter, I only heard their scornful voices repeating Ani's words. "You couldn't protect your family when they needed you. What makes you think you can protect anyone else?"

It was all I could hear: over and over until they blurred into unintelligible sobs and screams. My heart began pounding as tremors shuddered through my body. I was dimly aware of sweat beading on my forehead, then a voice—far away and faint. "Drew! Drew, can you hear me?" I honestly couldn't tell if it was real or just some cruel trick of my imagination. I wasn't sure how, but at some point, I had ended up on the ground and was now scrambling backward.

I saw a blurry figure approach me as the voice grew louder. "Drew! Are you okay?" I couldn't make out much through the sweat blurring my vision, but after I swiped at my eyes, I stared at a face etched in concern and worry. I was gasping now, trying to get even an ounce of water into my crushed lungs. I saw Jonah put both hands out in front of him, the gesture placating.

"Focus on the sound of my voice. You are safe. There's no one else here. It's just you and me." Jonah's voice was calm, but the concern underlying his tone was unmistakable. "I need you to breathe. Take slow, deep breaths."

Slowly, my heart rate calmed enough to focus on his words. I took in a massive gulp of water, repeating the motion until I felt the panic slowly drain from my body. Jonah floated before me for several moments, not saying a word. When he did, his voice was quiet. "Are you okay?"

I bit down on a cry of pain so hard the cords on my neck stood out. "Yeah. I—I'm fine." I knew he saw through the lie when I felt his gaze on my face. As I looked up at him, I had to suppress a wince at the look on his face.

Concern was the predominant emotion, but I saw another hidden emotion mixed in with the former: anger. This time, I made no effort to conceal my wince. When Jonah spoke again, his voice—controlled and even—concealed his underlying emotions. "We both know you're not. Your parents were concerned when you didn't show up to breakfast. I offered to look for you."

I didn't answer. He continued, his voice dangerously soft now, "We can either go to breakfast or to your suite to talk. Your choice."

Once I realized there was no backing out, I begrudgingly nodded. It wasn't until we got back to my suite, the silence between us tense and prickly, that I spoke. "Ani said something a few days ago that lodged in my mind. 'If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that we're not responsible for the actions of our parents. We decide who we're going to be. No one else.'"

I took a shaky breath and exhaled deeply. The tears I'd held back filled my eyes and streamed down my cheeks before I could open my mouth. "Who am I? I've defined myself by how others have seen me for so long—brother, friend, son, cometball player—that I've forgotten what it feels like just to be me." I ducked my head as my voice broke on the last word, swiping at my face.

Jonah was quiet for several moments. I couldn't place the emotion in his voice when he finally spoke. "For the longest time after my breakup with Kailani, I felt lost. Adrift. I had let her manipulate me into believing we'd had a loving, fulfilling relationship. I hadn't known about her involvement with the Sirens until a few years later. She'd sworn that it wouldn't affect how she felt about me—that she could maintain her loyalty to the Sirens and still be with me. However, in the following weeks, I noticed a change in her demeanor and attitude.

"She started going out late at night and not returning until the early morning. Some mornings, she'd return exhausted and hoarse; others, she would act like nothing had changed. But she never told me where she was going. When I asked her, she never said. It wasn't until I met Faye that I genuinely began reevaluating my relationship with Kailani. The more time I spent with your sister, the more I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. She'd been through hell and back, yet still managed to wake up every morning with a purpose."

I swallowed hard as I heard Jonah's voice break. He swiped at his eyes but never faltered. "Faye was the first mermaid I'd been with that didn't seem to have a hidden agenda. When we first met, I saw a mermaid who was lost, broken, and adrift and felt the urge to get to know her. The day we got married was the happiest day of my life. I treasured every day with her, not knowing how many we'd have ahead of us. I never defined myself as 'Faye's boyfriend' or 'Kailani's ex.' I was just me."

His gaze was unwavering as he stared at me. "My point is, don't focus on the things you weren't able to or couldn't control in the past. It's useless and only invites more pain and stress into your life."

I blinked and then bit down on a cry as a bolt of pain sliced across my back. I froze as I felt warm blood trickle down my back. Jonah's eyes widened as he rushed towards me, catching me just before I would have hit the ground. His voice was a low rush as he spoke very near my ear. "There's a lot of blood, Drew. We need to get you to the infirmary. Before this gets any worse."

I was all but limp in his arms, my head lolling as I struggled to breathe through the dagger-sharp waves of pain that kept crashing over me. Clenching my eyes shut, I nodded, the gesture a silent command. Even though I knew Jonah was swimming as carefully as possible while simultaneously trying to get there quickly, every little bump or jostle sent fresh waves of pain crashing over me. The swim to the infirmary seemed to take forever—long enough that I was half-asleep when we reached the entrance.

Through the haze of agony, I heard muffled, low voices all talking over one another. "Drew?" "Oh, gods, what happened?" "He was fine one minute, and then the next, I heard him cry out and saw blood on his back. He hadn't mentioned it bothering him before." I heard the genuine worry in Jonah's voice, wincing as it caused daggers of guilt to pierce my heart.

I'd thought after the last time, I had finally gotten a handle on it. That's why I never said anything. But I should have known that at some point, it would eventually flare up again, given the strain my body had been under. I heard Jonah murmuring behind me but couldn't make out the words. A precipe yawned open before me, beckoning, and I didn't fight it. The last thing I saw before darkness consumed me was Dr. Murphy's blurry face above mine.

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