I rubbed my eyes as I stepped out of the steam filled bathroom into the guest room. Steve was probably going to come in to sleep at any minute, so I quickly brushed my wet hair and got out of there. I didn't want to face him for another few hours. I barely made it halfway down the hallway before Peter found me.

Peter walked beside me and tried to calm his unsteady breathing. He was nervous. Too easy to tell. "This might not be the time to bring this up..."

I replied bitterly, "You're right. It's not."

He followed closely next to me, matching my pace. Peter put his hand out in defense and raised it slightly, "Hear me out, alright? Don't get sassy with me just yet."

I rolled my eyes and agreed, "Fine. I'll keep quiet until I hear something I don't like." I just needed to wind down. I have been stressing all this time, putting all of the guilt, hate, and more on myself. After the stunt I pulled in the training room, it's making people question my motives and how well I'll work with the team.

"So, I was in the lab and I was thinking...a while back, an old mentor of mine worked with reptiles. He tried to create a serum to replicate the reptile's genetics so he could grow his arm back. That didn't work out too well. Clearly." He paused, combing his hand through his hair and licking his lips nervously. "If I could just come up with a way to examine and study the way your powers work, then maybe..."

I cut him off immediately, "No." This kid was insane if he thought I would allow something like that to happen. Being this way had its perks, but it did have its downsides.

"You aren't even listening to me," Peter cried out in frustration. His face was overcome with stress and utter sadness. His lip twitched slightly and he lowered his hand to his side.

"You don't want my powers, Peter. It's helpful with what we do, but it's a curse overall." I fluffed my wet hair out and rubbed the back of my neck. I understood where he was coming from, but it won't work.

Peter began, "But, just..."

I interrupted him and kept walking, "The answer is no."

Peter stopped and watched me for a second. His brow furrowed and the twitch in his lip morphed into a quiver. He yelled in defeat, "I just want my arm back!" I stopped and turned around to face him. His voice shook and broke in a few spots as he tried to hold himself together. "I lost my arm...I want it back. I can't keep acting like I'm okay with this. I'm freaking out inside. It takes all of the power within me to keep from hyperventilating. The pain..." Peter paused and sniffled, blinking a few times to keep the tears back. "I can still feel it there, but then I look down, and it's..." He stopped and shook his head. "You know what? Forget I even asked."

Peter turned around and walked away. The pain finally hit him. He finally had to come to terms with the loss of his arm. I felt terrible denying him from using my powers to benefit him, but I just didn't want him to go through what I have to. Immortality would not have a good toll on him. I called to him, "Peter, wait."

Peter turned around and walked towards me, his feet stomping on the floor. His face contorted in anger, his brown eyes full of pain. "Why? So you can say more of my ideas are stupid? Are not worth it? Because what I am going through right now doesn't matter?"

I was shocked. Did he really think I didn't care about him and his emotions? That I was that inconsiderate? Heartless? "It does matter! It's just..."

He took the opportunity to cut me off this time, "Just what? I'm not good enough for it?"

"No! If you copy my powers, we don't know how much you'll copy. You could end up with all of them. This life...you'll end up living forever."

"And why is that such a bad thing? At least I'd have all my limbs and be able to save people for the rest of my life!" Peter cried out and rubbed his temple. This argument caused a headache to form.

I yelled back, "Watching everyone you love grow old and perish is not what you want!" Peter's face fell at my words. I narrowed my eyes at him and forced words out of my mouth in a calm manner. "I'm going to wake up one day and find out that you passed away. Some accident. Some heart problems. Dying in your sleep. How do you think I'm going to feel? Everyone around me is going to die. I'm going to have to live with that." I dragged my hand down my mouth in frustration. Most people claim to want to be immortal, but when it happens, it's not everything it's cracked up to be. "I'm trying to save you from that pain."

"All things come with a price. You can use that time wisely and save as many people as you can." He sighed and moved his empty shoulder socket towards me. "I want my arm back. That's it."

I watched him for a second before giving in, "I had the lab team come up with a robotic arm. I know it's not the same as a real one, but I thought it might come in handy." I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose, "I didn't mean to say it like that."

"Making puns just runs in the family." Peter laughed a bit to amuse me. His expression faded and formed a happy one. His eyes lit up in excitement at the realization of what I just said. He set his hand on my arm. "You really did that? For me?"

I nodded and the corners of my lips lifted slightly. I would hope that this showed how much I really do care. I wouldn't want him to suffer more than he already is. "Of course, Peter. You're my cousin and I care about you deeply...Plus, the robot arm will be pretty badass."

Peter hugged me tightly, holding my head close against his shoulder. He whispered in my ear, "Thank you."

I backed up and kept my hand on his shoulder. This arm would open his world up to many more possibilities. The best and brightest in the school were working on it. "They could be working on it right now. You can go help make adjustments."

His eyes lit up even more and an idea struck. I could almost see the lightbulb flash on above his head. He moved his fingers along his lips for a second in thought. "Adding web shooters to the arm would be awesome and efficient. I would also have to take in how the hand would increase my strength...maybe I need to adjust the durability of the webbing itself...Or make sure it doesn't get stuck to my hand..." He trailed off, lost in his own ideas. He mumbled a few more things to himself before leaving off to the lab.

I think I knew what I needed.

A drink.

I made my way down the hallway, heading towards the kitchen downstairs. It wasn't a long journey. Few hallways and greetings from children as I passed by seemed to calm my nerves down a bit.

"Lilly!" Logan called from the barstool next to the island. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and put his empty beer glass down on the counter. Logan stretched out and yawned loudly. "I've been recruiting people. Bobby, Kitty, Wade, Storm, and Scott said they'd join the fight."

A smile formed on my lips at the sound of good news. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I jumped a little bit out of excitement and almost ran over to hug him, but held myself back. "You don't know how much this means to me, to all of us!"

"No problem, Lil. Last time I said fuck off, nothing good happened." He threw the bottle at me and I put it in the recycle bin. He continued, "This is for the greater good. You said so yourself."

I nodded and took out a beer from the locked cabinet. The school didn't have any alcohol, even against Logan's persistence. He wanted a secret stash in his room, but Xavier caught him before he could do it. It sets the kids in a bad place because some of them are bound to find out about it. The last thing the school needs is an alcohol problem.

"Yeah...We just have to make sure everyone is ready." I turned to him and opened the bottle. Logan took out a cigar and almost lit it until I scolded him, "Hey! You know Storm hates it when you smoke inside. It makes everything smell like smoke."

"Yeah, yeah, I fucking hate that rule." He got up and both of us walked outside to the backyard. We sat down on the stairs and stared up at the sky, just like old times. He lit his cigar and took a few puffs. The smoke smelled earthy and spicy to an extent. It was an odd mixture, but I didn't want to ask about it. "How have you been handling things?"

I took a long sip of my beer and waited before answering. I wasn't going to revisit what happened today. I was going to let that simmer in my head until I came to terms with it myself. "Oh, you know...chaos, mayhem...I'm handling that pretty well. Just stressful. Angry." I took another sip. "I don't want to talk about it."

"That's understandable. Life loves to kick everyone in the ass." Puff. Puff. He blew the smoke out in a long exhale. He flicked some of the ash off the end of it. "How's the little one? What's her name...?"

"Amelia," I responded shortly. I moved my hair to one side and sighed softly. I couldn't wait to finish this. All of it. Go back to living a somewhat normal life. "She's doing really well. She's making friends and having a great time in school. Amelia still hasn't gotten over her family being gone, though. Probably never will."

Logan raised an eyebrow and glanced over at me. He brought up the elephant in the room, "What are you going to do when she ages, but you don't?"

"I...I haven't thought much about how I'm going to tell her..." I stopped ageing a while ago. I'm going to watch her grow old. Steve will grow old. I'm going to be alone. Maybe that's why Logan took long vacations every couple months. He tries to detach himself from the ones he loves so he won't hurt when he sees them die later on. It'll just be Logan, Wade, and I one day, achieving what most people want in life. Immortality. That sounds like the ultimate hell. "All I know is that I'm going to wait on it. She won't notice for a while. I want to shield her from knowing too much as much as possible."

"That's really sweet of you, kid."

I nodded. It was. I just wanted her safe. "And with these villains...Shielding her from this is my first priority. Have you seen those villains? Alien symbiotes, an insane murderer, a crazy God, a few aliens, and Juggernaut? All of them combined are...too much. It's too much to focus on."

"We'll make this work, Lilly." He set the cigar down and let the embers fall down onto the staircase. He looked straight forward at the snow on the ground and at the clear sky. The land seemed to sparkle white and glisten in the moonlight. He huffed and looked at me before setting his arm around me. He saw me shivering from the cold and my hair being wet didn't help the situation.

"We don't stand a chance without you guys. I'm just...scared of losing," I admitted and rubbed my face. It was late. My muscles were sore. My mind seemed numb with too many questions and complicated thoughts. The fear took over and I had to find a way to swim through it.

Logan questioned, "Losing the war, or your friends?"

"Both. We can't..." I paused, closed my eyes for a few seconds, and bit my lip for a moment, "we can't let the people down again. As for my friends, I don't want them to lay down their lives when I could've done something about it. I should've pushed myself harder and went straight for Loki..."

"That's just a point of life, kid. We fail. We get pushed down. We get back up. Right now, you're on the stage of getting back up. You already lost the beginning of the fight. Now is the time for resurrection." There was a short silence before he continued, "Or, you know, just tell the enemies to fuck off."

I laughed and set my empty beer bottle on the ground. I set my head on his shoulder and reached for his cigar. He let me take a few puffs and I handed it back to him to finish off. Logan and I sat there, reminiscing about the old days and what lay ahead. All I had to do was enjoy the moment and let off some steam. It almost seemed like the calm before the storm.