I sidled up against the wall once I heard Natasha talking out loud. She hadn't talked since the battle, and all of us were worried. The team took a hit with Clint's death, but it hit her the most. Clint Barton was her boyfriend. Her lover. The man who changed her life for the better.

And now he was gone.

She stopped talking and clicked a few buttons on her cell phone. The speaker was on, and a familiar voice filled her room.

"...No matter what happens Nat, I will always be there for you. Saving you that fateful day I was sent to kill you was the best thing I've ever done. I-" A loud noise erupted from the speaker and Clint grunted for a second. "Damn it. Stupid Table." Natasha laughed quietly through her pain. "Anyway, I had a whole speech planned, but these voicemails never last long. I just can't wait to settle down with you in a quiet, peaceful place. We'll start looking for one when we get back. I love you, Natasha."

The voicemail ended and she sobbed, "I love you, Hawkeye. I love you. I love you, you ridiculously clumsy man. I have never loved myself, but you, oh God...I love you so much that I forgot what hating myself was like." She sniffled and wiped her swollen eyes. Her thumb slid over to the end call button, but she hesitated as her hand shook. The phone automatically went to the next voicemail.

"Hey, Nat. I found the perfect apartment for us! It's right around the corner from an awesome pizza place. You know how much I love pizza. And there's a balcony and a big bedroom. They even allow dogs! We have to get it. I put a payment down for it already. I mean...I had to sell the farm. You didn't really like it there much anyway. But selling it will be worth it once we're together and settled in. The keys are on the dresser. Once the war is over, we are taking a long vacation together. I love you, Nat."

She pushed the end call button hard, and froze when she saw her phone's wallpaper. Her heart ached remembering where that picture was from.

Budapest.

Her hair was longer and curlier back then, falling down passed her shoulders and hitting the middle of her back. Her eyes had closed as Clint's hand caressed her cheek to keep whoever they were running from from noticing her. Clint's hair used to be blonde at that time, and as the years passed, his hair darkened to brown. His other arm wrapped around Natasha's waist to pull her closer, closing the gap they once had. She remembered she felt so surprised that he would do such a thing, but he said public displays of affection made people uncomfortable, so she went with it.

This was it. Their first kiss.

Clint had argued with Director Fury to get a picture from the camera view from the bank of the event just so he could have it for memories. Later on, Clint and Natasha got together, making the picture more sentimental. Her finger slid over the small picture of his face and yearned to feel the touch of his lips against hers. A silence kicked in and Natasha set her phone down. She wiped her eyes once more and stated, "I know you're there, Lilly."

Damn... I thought and hung my head for a second. I walked into her room and stopped when I saw the flashing white light. My heart skipped a beat and the pain only intensified. Jarvis had installed a system for Clint while we were away to let him know when someone came into the room. That way, when he had his hearing aids out, he would know when someone walked in. I glanced around the room to get my mind off of what just happened.

Some lamps and photos lay on the floor. A chair was flipped over and clothes were strewn about. The gray walls reflected her feelings of gloom and despair, and mixes of water and other drinks stained the light brown carpeting. Natasha's blonde hair wrapped up into a tangled mess and her usual bright green eyes were now dull and blood shot. Her makeup smeared and followed the path of her tears down her cheeks.

I opened my arms and hugged her. I brushed my fingers through her messy short hair to comfort her. She loved it when I played with her hair. "It's okay. It'll be okay." I felt like such a hypocrite for telling her that when I was convincing myself that everything wasn't okay. I needed to tell her otherwise and help her get through this, even if it meant putting myself last.

Nat rested her head on my shoulder and shook with each sob. She was warm and soaked in tears. "It's only been a few days, but it still feels like he's still here. With me. Saying my name. Next to me at night. Commenting on something I'm doing...I can still smell the coffee he makes and the liquid he uses to clean his equipment."

Natasha sniffled and exhaled. Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat to fix it. "I can try to forgive myself for not having his back...but no matter what I do, it will always be there in the back of my mind. He will always be here. Haunting me. Keeping me awake. I haven't slept in days."

I pulled back and looked her straight in the eye. She was so distraught and broken. I knew how she felt. Everything hurts and slowly goes numb. It's mainly going through a cycle of pain, grief, and then guilt. "Don't do this to yourself. It's torture. That's not the way he'd want you to live."

She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and bowed her head. She blinked back the fresh water in her eyes and huffed. "I'm so weak...so vulnerable, all because of..." Natasha trailed off and moved her lips, but nothing came out. She started tapping her fingers on her leg out of nervousness. "I can't even say his name." She looked up to keep back the tears and bit her lip to stop the pain in her heart from forming words of sorrow.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Amelia yelled as her feet pitter pattered against the tiled floor. She ran passed Nat's bedroom and then jolted back after she saw us. She jumped into my arms and hugged me tightly, her little hands holding on for dear life.

I embraced her and put my hand on her head. "Amelia! I've missed you so much..." Mommy? She's become more attached to me than I had thought. My heart melted and I completely forgot about my sorrows for a few seconds. Adopting her would be one of the best days of my life.

Steve walked through the door, his face looking a little exhausted. I made a mental note to ask him about that later. He put his hands on his hips and made an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. She was so excited to see you."

Amelia managed to get out of my grasp and attacked Natasha. "Auntie Nat!" She shrieked happily.

Natasha nestled her close and whispered, "Hey, kiddo." Natasha inhaled the sweet scent of Amelia's fruity shampoo and ran her fingers over her soft tan skin. She shut her eyes tightly and enjoyed the moment, even through her pain.

Amelia kissed her cheek and backed up. Her brown eyes shimmered in the light and her short black hair fell around her face. She looked around and scrunched her face up. "Where's Uncle Clint?"

Steve moved to take her out of the room and I agreed. "I'll be out in a few minutes." Now was the time to console Nat. As much as I wanted to hold Amelia and never let go, Natasha was more important.

Steve picked her up carefully and spun her around to face him. "Here comes the tickle monster!" He tickled her stomach and she went into a giggle fit. He took her from the room and left us alone to talk.

Natasha looked down, a little happy that she had Amelia back in her life, but it wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough anymore. Her voice was low and gravelly, "All it took was one man to make me change into someone I could be proud of, and now he's gone."

I set my hand on top of hers. "I know we can't bring him back...but we're here for you Nat. I promise we'll be here for as long as you need us. After all, we are a team, right?"

One corner of her lips lifted a bit and she looked up at me. A sense of familiarity took over her features, almost as if she were in a daze. "He said we were more than that. We're family." She leaned on my shoulder and nuzzled up against me. I put my arms around her and just held her there, letting the silence take over and leaving us to our thoughts.

What a wild adventure. Just under two years ago, I reunited with my cousin, Peter Parker. That changed my life for the better. Little did I know, I was going to get sucked into the Avengers team faster than Peter could swing across town. Not everyone liked me at first, but they warmed up to me. The hardest part wasn't gaining their friendship. It was gaining their trust. I've gained so much out of this. My cousin. Trust. Amelia. A great, stable relationship with Captain America. Family.

And even after everything we've been through, our links haven't broken. We didn't hate each other or give up on one another. Our bonds only became stronger. This adventure changed us.

We weren't afraid to die, but we were afraid of not being able to save others. The guilt, the sadness, the blame, we took it all in. We had to. We were strong. We had to bear the burden for everyone, because if not, then who would? It was a call to action that made us lose soldiers in the end. People died. Families tore apart. People mourned.

We couldn't save everyone.

That's how it'll always be because it's the cold truth the world tries to hide. But there is one thing we would always do no matter what.

We would avenge the fallen.

AN: This chapter was dedicated to all of my lovely readers <3 I really appreciate you guys. You are amazing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. More dedications to come in future Marvel book(s)!