"Clint Barton, a man of many skills..." I trailed off and my chest constricted with each breath. I never thought I would be at his funeral so soon. We all were ready to die in that fight, but I didn't think about the pain that came with it. My nose was numb at this point from the cold snow as it fell from the sky. I bundled up in my jacket even more and a chill ran down my spine. My vision blurred over as tears formed in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away to regain my composure. I forced myself not to break in front of everyone. They didn't need to witness that.

I continued my speech, "The first time I met him, I thought his outfit was a cliché dark knight look. I made fun of him in my head, but never took into account that he might become one of my closest friends." One corner of my lips twitched up into a slight smile at the memory. "He hugged me for the first time after I spilled some of my personal details. He tried to tell me that he had gone through a similar scenario and that everything would be okay. He told me to Learn how to let it go. Those are wise words, but I can't let him go. He'll always be in my heart."

My breath hitched and I suddenly choked on my next words, "Clint wouldn't want us to be sad, but we can't help it. We lost someone very dear to us and..." A rogue tear fell from my eye and I wiped it away. "I wish I could bring him back..." My face contorted as I choked on a sob in order to keep it at bay. "He was a damn good spy. A hero. An Avenger. All in all, he was family, and we will never forget him."

Steve and Tony got a little teary eyed. They refused to look at the casket and looked down at the grass or up in the sky. Their shattered expressions pained me to look at. It appeared to be they were falling apart on the inside, just as the rest of us were. Banner didn't want to be near the casket and stood idly in the back, still as a statue. His glasses were foggy from crying, but he didn't move or look at anyone. I patted Peter on the back gently as he made his way to where I was. I moved to the side where the rest of them were and stood next to Steve, who grabbed my hand gently.

Peter trudged up to the casket, standing north of it so he could face everyone. The tears that had fallen from his puffy red eyes dried up on his flushed cheeks and his lips twitched into a frown. He ran his hands through his tangled brown hair in frustration. Peter flexed his jaw and tried to find his voice to speak. "Clint Barton is..." Peter paused, biting his lip in pain, "was one of my closest friends. We were lazy together, shared jokes, made puns, and split a whole pizza from time-to-time."

He cracked a small, broken grin and looked at each of us one-by-one. He set his hand gently on the casket. "I watched a show recently, and one of the characters named Church gave an amazing speech. There's so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day. And because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero...never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith."

Peter continued, "This speech really stood out to me. Clint...never got to see the outcome of his sacrifice. He never got to celebrate with us. He never had that celebratory pizza or crazy amounts of coffee that I promised him. He never really got to say goodbye." He sighed heavily and wiped away the fresh tears from his eyes. His lip began to quiver and he clenched his jaw to stop. "He meant a lot to us. He was the best dang dead shot I've ever seen. He let me tell corny puns and joked around with me. He was one of my best friends. I could go on and on about our beloved Hawkeye, but Natasha needs to say a few words. I'll let her have the stage now."

Peter walked over next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. I set my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. At this point, I couldn't breathe. The pressure in my system was too much. With every second, I came closer to a mental breakdown.

Natasha walked through the snow to Clint's casket. She wanted to put her hand on it, but retracted her hand and stuffed it back in her coat pocket. Her face was empty of emotion. Her shattered heart caused her to choke for a second, but she cleared her throat and started her eulogy, "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. That's one of the many things I loved about him. He would always go into battle, scared out of his wits on the inside, but on the outside, he was as courageous as ever. Never even shown an ounce of doubt or fright. In my eyes, he will always be the greatest archer, the silliest man, and the most romantic guy anyone could ever meet."

She looked down at her arrow necklace and rubbed one of her fingers across the shiny, cold, gold metal. "Before he brought me into S.H.I.E.L.D., he said, Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with. I can see the potential in you, Natasha. The want. The need to be good. I believe you can be a hero." She stopped for a moment, stared off into the distance, and took in a breath. Holding her composure must've been killing her, but she held herself in tact. "That was the nicest and most inspiring thing anyone had said to me in years. Hawkeye is the reason why I'm an Avenger today. He changed my life so much...it's so hard to comprehend that he's gone."

Her eyes flickered down, but then flickered back up in anger. Her eyebrows furrowed quickly, and she stated, "I'm not going to let him go unavenged. I loved this man to death. He deserves nothing less than that." She ended her eulogy abruptly and moved on to our next activity.

All of the remaining Avengers grabbed bows from the grass next to us. Natasha grabbed Hawkeye's quiver and admired it for a second. She ran her fingers up the side until she took hold the arrows. She pulled them out and handed each of us a set of three. She took the last three out and set the quiver down gently. Natasha took a deep breath and studied the arrows with sad green eyes. Her expression didn't change, but her eyes said otherwise. At last, she nodded to us, and we pulled the string back, one arrow locked in place. At first, it was difficult to get the string back, but eventually, we managed to scrape our hands and pull it back.

The workers lowered Clint's casket slowly. We all let go simultaneously, allowing the arrows to launch into the sky and explode when the internal timer went off. The second time we did it, the arrows got a little higher before exploding like fireworks. We did this one more time as a soldier's tribute to him. He deserved it, and nothing less.

Steve drove me to Xavier's School for the Gifted for the other burial ceremony. He stayed for support, but lingered behind the students from the school who were grieving for Scott, Bobby, and Jake. I moved to stand between Logan and Kitty. Kitty looked down the whole time, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sniffled every now and then. Logan stared straight ahead, almost in a daze. I watched as the Professor took the stage in front of everyone.

Xavier bit the inside of his cheek to keep his composure and made eye contact with some of the students. He kept his head held up high and his expression frozen to ensure he wouldn't show any of the students his grief. He started off by saying, "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life. What happened here is a tragedy." He exhaled softly and continued, "Our family died as heroes. They fought to protect us, to protect the world. That is the X-Men's sole mission in life. They have made the world a better place, a more peaceful world for you students to grow up in..."

I stumbled off into my own thoughts as Xavier went on. Logan rested his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in closer for a side hug. He began to tear up, guilt and loss easily readable from his features. He felt the same way I did a few minutes ago.

At this point, I was numb.

A part of me died with them. I felt guilty for not having someone watch Jake at school to make sure he didn't leave. I knew he wanted to join the fight. I should've taken more precautions. I knew and didn't do anything about it. I let a child die. I couldn't help him. My mission in life was to save as many people as I could, and I couldn't save him.

We've avenged the lost lives in Chicago. We've saved the world. Thousands of lives were now out of the line of fire, yet we couldn't save the few right in front of us. They were lost soldiers in a grand battle. They signed up for it, but I couldn't help but feel guilt for it.

One of the people that raised me...Scott...he's dead now. I grew up with Bobby. He was one of my best friends. And Clint...I had too many words to say about him. He was a great archer and a friend. How could I just...let them down? This wasn't all my fault, but I wished I could change everything. Change it back to the old days back in the tower when Clint and I used to fight over the couch. Or earlier in life when Bobby and I would compete in making the most abstract ice pieces ever. Or when Scott would hang out with Jean and I and cracked jokes all day. I want all of that back. If only I could turn the clock back...

I came back to reality and saw Xavier leave the area. Even he looked overwhelmed with pain and grief. I couldn't imagine how he felt, since he could feel everyone's pain and thoughts. That must've been horrible, especially at a time like this. He didn't break character once while making his speech. He wanted to stay strong for us. That was something I really admired about him. Everyone left in a big herd behind Xavier, heading back to the school for some sleep and grieving time.

The early February breeze brushed through my uncovered black hair and made my eyes sting. Snow descended from the sky at a slow pace and blanketed the land. The snow mimicked the way my heart shattered and rained from the sky, slow and dreadful. The surrounding area became eerily quiet since everyone had left, which was unfortunate. The world had to bear with me as I finally snapped.

I collapsed onto Kitty and let her catch me. My emotions busted through the wall I held up for so long, oozing out of my aching heart. Tears flowed out of my eyes and soaked into her shirt. I shut my eyes tightly and just let out a scream into Kit's shoulder. It wasn't a scream of fear or anger. Just pain. What I was feeling...it was the worst pain imaginable. Loss. Grief.

Defeat.

Imaginary knives stabbed me in the chest over and over, making me cry out in agony even more. They were gone. Nothing was going to bring them back. I destroyed a part of Kitty's world, along with my own. I hurt her...I hurt everyone. My anger, my grief, and look what happened. My friends, my family...they died. A couple of villains fled the scene, and here I was putting my family into the ground. I couldn't apologize enough to Kit. I never will. Apologizing would never be enough to stitch this wound back together.

Kit and I fell to our knees, the soft snow melting into our clothing. I squeezed her in my embrace and tried not to tug on her hair. "I'm so sorry, Kit. I'm so sorry..." I bawled. Repeating those words wasn't going to do anything, but just saying it out loud felt right.

"It's not your fault, Lilly. The situation was out of our hands..." She sniffled at first, but then began to let the floodgates open. Her tears stained my shirt and her fingers sunk into my back, holding me closer than ever. Her sobs grew louder and louder, almost coming close to the volume of mine.

We stood over the graves of our friends, weeping for our loss. 

AN: Writing this actually made me tear up. Gahhh. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Dedicated to @RaamishImran for all of the votes! I made this for this chapter. It fits well.