Chapter 43

“If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be ...” 

"Stop flirting you a##h##e" I said trying to be same Pearly, "I have already got a taste of your playerhood a day before my wedding." I spoke trying to be confident.

But anguish filled in his eyes as he spoke very humbly, "Hi Pearly. Actually I was a bit upset that you didn't call me even after you were back." he looked sad and pained.

"You two together?" I asked directing towards Sandra.

"Yeah" he said scratching the hair behind his neck least happy about it.

"Don’t you dare screw this time." I warned him.

"It was your wedding gift. Don't you trust me?" he asked hurt.

"Should I?" I tried to be sarcastic but failed miserably remembering the kiss he gave me that haunted my wedding ceremony. "whatever I gotcha go. Submission." I showed him the project I was carrying.

I entered the classroom along with the faculty. It was loaded with students. So many of them, some known some unknown or fairly recognisable. I felt a shiver of nervousness in me, I was no longer comfortable with crowd.

Joshan held me with my shoulders telling,” Calm down. She's not going to eat you."

His grip around me reminded me of Dexter and how would he react to anybody getting that close to me so I flinched and stepped away from him.

"I lost your trust" he mumbled. He looked hurt but I ignored him walking to the faculty and handing her the project, filling her with details and ran out before I had to talk casually with few of my so called friends.

I rushed to the car breathing heavy. I was very scared. I didn't knew for what?

 Everytime I felt Dexter was watching me and would get furious.

Rest of the day I stayed at home, studying, cooking and nursing my mom.

"How often does Dexter compliment you on your cooking skills?" my father cooed me as we three mom, dad and me sat on the dining table for dinner. Mom felt much better after I returned and would move about a little bit in the house. Dinner was served at the dining table and we would sit together enjoying our family meal.

I was only fiddling with the fork as I had lost my appetite and would no longer feel hungry.

"Yeah she's amazing in her cooking skills." my mom complimented.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))[Florida].flashback

Today I mentally prepared myself to please Dexter. A way to man's heart is through his stomach' I had heard and so I thought that I would cook him a breakfast so that he is up with what he is disturbed with and may be feel a little better.

I prepared French toast and fries along with fruit salad and also accompanied it with a slurring hot cup of coffee.

I took it to the bedroom where he was sleeping and cheerfully spoke in his ears "Goodmorning"

He was not a morning person and was not very happy with the fact that he was woken up half an hour early than his scheduled alarm clock. He grimaced looking at the watch but next when the flavors reached him, he softened a little. He's got some craving for food being a guy.

I placed the tray in front of him "Surprise"

He sipped in a sip of the burning hot coffee. Just when his lips were about to touch the tip of the mug, my phone beeped. Scared that he would get disappointed with the distraction early morning, I leapt to reject the call.

He got irritated with the thing and threw the first sip out of his mouth, "What the heck. It's horrible"

"You did not like it?" I panicked "oh here I did not add the sugar, its lying here beside the toast[good one Pearly. First time you were trying to impress your husband and here it goes. Shit! Shit! I told myself]

Hurriedly I took the mug from his hands and added sugar stirring quickly not to disappoint him again and spilled few drops on Dexter. He jumped in his place as the coffee was too hot. After that the unexpected happened he spilled the entire cup of hot coffee on me. Though it was not very painful because I was dressed in one of my wardrobes but yes I did get burns on my body which did give a burning sensation.

"Sorry Dexter" I got on my knees, my selfrespect crushed.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  (flashback over)Texas

"Missing him?' my father asked.

"Yeah" I said and started eating not to continue discussing about Dexter. I was scared that I might spill out the truth in one weak moment.

''''''''''''''''''''''

I went to college everyday and avoided classrooms as usual and even in the library I sat on the last end corner avoiding contact with the people.

Sometimes I did have to go to the classrooms for some submissions or teacher's references. Today was one such day and I went to the class to check with the teacher and I met Joshan on the midway.

"Hi Pearly po..oo" he wished me happily and then with hesitation.

"Hi Joshan" I said cheerfully enough till my phone rang, Dexter’s name flashing on the screen.

Nervous with my self consciousness as if he would catch me talking to Joshan I started shivering with fear of him. I walked to a distance away from Joshan as if the phone had eyes and would display Joshan to Dexter.

"Hi pearly" his voice dominating as ever.

"Hi."

"Behaving good? You know you shouldn't upset Me." his last words more of a warning.

"Trust me Dexter I won't cheat on you."

He hooked up the phone without uttering any other word. He's been like this lately, not finishing his conversations as if it would let me know the reason of his behaviour. Wish I could do anything to help him.

"Hi Pearly"

Hi Essme"

"Finally caught you. Don't you think you should come out of your books to spend some time with your friends?" she asked hugging me.

"I wanted to but after Stacie and Der.. I thought you wouldn't..." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Come on Pearly we are better friends than that." she said relieving me.

"You bet." I seconded.

"Cafeteria then? You wanna join Joshan?" Essme suggested.

"I don't think he'll be interested. Sandra's wating for him" I directed towards Sandra who was leaning on one of the lockers staring at Joshan.

"So it’s you and me. Let's do our girl talking." She held my hands like two kindergarten girls going for a swing and took me to the cafeteria.

I wasn't scared of speaking to her. She wasn't that close to me to reveal the truth in my eyes. I could easily lie to her.

"Vow Pearly I can't believe it. The girl with no boyfriend ever is actually married and that too with a handsome multimillionaire hulk." she said excitedly. 

"See the ring." I smiled my best artificial one.

"Okay then talk about the first night." she whispered slowly.

"Oh first night" I giggled "I slept"

"F##k! Dont tell me. Then when did you pop your cherry? Don't tell me you are a virgin." she told taking me back in my miseries.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))[Florida] flashback

"Sorry baby. I like you brunette. You look beautiful now. "Dexter kissed me on my forehead and I forgave him instantly.

"Now dress up we are going to the casino and bar later." he said softly for the first time in the day. I thought things were getting back to normal. I got my Dexter back and all I needed was a haircut. I would have easily done that for him. He needn't have to be harsh on me.

We went to the casino and played a lot till I lost 200$ on the game and stopped where as Dexter had almost won 5000$ and was in no mood to stop. He was enjoying his shots and also offered me. I knew I won't be able to handle it and did not want to spoil the honeymoon sleeping all over but he forced me to have one. When I denied to drink further he did not hesitate to hit me in front of others. He did apologize after that and promised not to repeat it again. I drank a lot after that till I forgot my wedding, my first wedding night, my first domestic blow and all the things I didn't want to remember. All I did was continuous blabbering and giggling that I normally do when I am wasted.

I woke up next morning all bruised up, sore and pained with blood all over my bedsheet. I knew I was no longer a virgin. But how, what, when I do not remember. All I remember is when I stared at Dexter for a long time to watch if he was happy with me and how he felt about me in bed. It wasn't his first time I knew. He woke up enraged to a new Dexter who was different, he no longer apologized his violence. He did not see me as the same Pearly again whom he loved. He took me as a piece of trash at home and the one who is readily available to fulfill his desires at his disposal.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) (flashback over)Texas

"Pearly you should stop blushing and answer my question." Essme impatiently banged her fist on the table.

"Sorry" I said shyly "I do not remember my popping thing. I was too wasted."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww" she cooed. Is he good? I mean on bed. You understand." she asked most girlishly.

"Essme" I said embarrassed, "he's the only one I have been with."

"Oh right. But I bet he likes you. See he's calling you." she handed me my phone.

'Excuse me" I went to a distance to talk to him I was scared if she overhears or something.

"Pearly email me your exam schedule so that I can book your tickets back to Florida." Dexter said/commanded from the other end of the phone.

"Dexter my mom" I wanted to stay back with her, nurse her or you can say I did not want to go to that black hole back again....

"I need you to be back on the next day itself." he said and disconnected.

I wonder what he likes about me, his love or his domination. Whatever better or worse, I'll be there for him.

"How is Joshan doing with his girl?" I asked I don't know why but I wanted to know that he is happy. Asking Joshan personally wasn't a very good idea.

"Yeah Joshan surprising enough that damm player is continued with the same girl for seven long months. It should be good because they never fight or disagree. Joshan takes good care of her. She says it and he does it." Essme said "But why do you want to know. You could have asked him personally."

"Well our best friend thing, he never had a steady relation because his exes were quite jealous of me. So I better avoid him so they are fine together." I said confidently probably a part of this was true.

"Pearly you need any help with the notes I am there." Essme offered.

"Thank you so much. I am glad to have you as a friend." I said as I pressed her hands with gratitude.

"Hi Ben" Essme waved to him who was entering the cafeteria. He couldn't see me as my back was facing him.

"Hi Essme" he greeted her with a handshake and then his eyes caught me. "Pearly" I could feel shock in his voice.

"Ben hi" I stood up avoiding the handshake "So you are back with the college. Where were you all this time."

"Pearly he only went for a month. He was back immediately after your marriage." Essme added and asked for an excuse as some random boy was calling her from a distance.

"Pearly you still don’t know?" Ben asked.

"what?" I asked completely confused.

"Nothing" he shrugged and then stared at my face discreetly, "Are you alright?" he tried to cup my face and I flinched.

"Tell me everything is alright. I mean Dexter is he good to you? He loves you right." he asked concerned and worried.

"Dexter how do..." I was stopped in between by Essme

"Hey guys, Robert has organised a pre- finale party for recreation. Wanna join in?" Essme asked cheerfully still staring at Robert.

"Well I can't I have a lot to cover in the academic. Thanks any way." I said still staring at Ben who surely knows something about Dexter and I need to know it too.

Essme still staring at Robert, "Are you sure Pearly. If it is because you do not know each other or something" she still smiled at him.

"Essme why don't you go to him and talk instead of staring. I am positive I won't go." I pushed her softly towards Robert making her giggle.

"I take you in Ben." Essme said as she left to Robert who was looking back at her with same intensity.

"Okay bye Pearly" Ben said trying to avoid further discussion with me.

"Wait Ben. I know you have a lot for me to know." I pleaded.

"It isn't important if you are happy with Dexter." Ben shrugged dismissively.

"Of course I am happy." I lied "But please there is something continuously haunting Dexter. If you help me?" I begged.

"I don't think this would ever trouble Dexter but if you insist." he continued, "the day you announced your wedding and he was along. He might have heard the party thing which you know I shouldn't have done. He came upto me after you guys left for somewhere. He came with his goons and warned me if I dare come to college or try to hit on you, I’ll have to bear the consequences with my family. He's a strong and influential person. Shall I add violent and dangerous too. But on the positive end if he loves you, you'll be safe and fine." he looked into my eyes questioningly.

"Oh he's good, a little possessive but a nice husband and yes he loves me.”

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))[Florida] flashback

Can I have a glass of water?" one of the interns who were assisting Dexter in his case asked. He was at our place most of the times and aware of the domestic violence I have been going through.

I offered him a glass of water and he held my hand on purpose trying to hit on me.

"I don't think Dexter will appreciate this." I jerked my hand from him.

He held me with my arms now, lust filled in black eyes scaring me.

"I know how Dexter is with you. I can give you nice time sweety." he said leaning in to kiss me.

I lifted my hand with all the strength and gave a tight slap on his face.

This infuriated him that he gave a big blow on my stomach throwing me to the floor.

Dexter landed home at the same time. He tried to assess the entire scenario, he only registered that I was hit and hurt by one of the person other than him. He lost his temper. I could see the pain he had because I was hurt. He gripped that guys hand and threw him blows after another. When he could not hold his anger any longer, he took the rod of the curtain, letting the curtain flow off from the bar and started hitting him fiercely knocking him unconscious. One of the drivers had the courage to stop him from this act.

I was too scared to swallow the animistic act in front of me.

He came to me lately and hugged me, "I love you. I cannot see anybody hurt you" and made love to me. It was harsher this time as if he was seeing the same guy in me and trying to remove his leftover frustration.

One thing is crystal clear that he loves me.....