I was checking the coffee that I've ordered. I should've order an additional cake or bread but I can't stay with Phi for a long time so I must not do something that can prolong this moment.

"What was that?" P'Kao asked right after the waitress left our table.

"Pardon?" Did he became a mind reader now?

"You looked like you can wholly devour me a while ago."

My mouth goes o shaped after realizing.

"That one, I met some jerks in the mall. Very unusual." I lift my coffee and start sipping from cup's lid. This is very awkward.

Why?

Why did I accepted his offer?

You're being nice Earth, you don't want to look rude.

Yeah, I guess so too.

I put down my cup after sipping, head stay low as if the cup is more interesting than anything.

"You're still feisty as ever Coo" he chuckles then enjoy his coffee.

I froze. Did he just called me Coo? The nickname he gave me before?

"So, how are you?" He throws his question as if that thing never happened.

I raised my head and smile.

"I'm good... how about you Phi?"

"I'm good too. Anyway, what are you doing for a living?"

Don't get me wrong but does ex acted like this? Why does it seemed that we're both fine and we're friends? We're friends but you know what I am talking about.

We're basically have something in the past. This blew off my mind. Am I the only one who feels the awkwardness? I have a few flings but I haven't met anyone of those after we parted ways, ever again.

"I'm a production stylist at Wabi Studio"

"I'm glad you're doing what you're dreaming of, proud of you" He nods and smiles at me proudly.

The urge to cup my cheeks is irresistable as i can feel the heat burning them. Why am I reacting like this?

"Wabi Studio? So you're working with Up. He didn't tell me about this."

"Oh..." So both of them are still in contact? What? P'Kao have this thing like reconciling with his exes? Huh?

"By the way, how's working with nong? Does he giving you a hard time?"

I immediately raised and shakes both of my hands as a sign of disagreement. Reflexes I guess.

"Phi is a good senior and he bought coffee when he has a chance."

"That's so him, don't you think?"

I only nod as a response.

His phone rings.

I'm telling you, this is the most excruciating minute of my life. That phone call saved me.

"I need to take this call, it's mom."

"Sure."

His mom? That wicked witch? Just kidding, I'm just exaggerating. His mom is a softie to everyone she likes and intimidating to those you already know. Typical rich mom. I belong to the latter I assumed since she's the one who told me stuff and I'm stupid so I followed without second thoughts. You know, the stuff she told me turned out right but I keep carrying this guilt until now and I don't know if I acted smart or dumb that time. Maybe if I only talked and not followed everything she says, maybe I don't have to live with this.

"Earth, something urgent come up. It's nice to see you."

"Phi."

"Mhm?"

"About the thing that happened before, I'm sor-"

"It's fine Earth, it was just a game right? No worries."

Game.

Pain.

"I have to go. See you around?"

"See you around."


------



It's past midnight. Suddenly, my room becomes so big yet so small for me. I'm curling on my bed, snuggling on my fave pillow.

I sobbed quietly.

My heart hurts so bad. So bad that its difficult to breathe.

I don't want to become like this again but
Why does a single word can break the belief I'm trying to believe for years?

I keep telling myself that I've moved on.

I already accepted it.

But why am I feeling so betrayed?

Why does it feel that I'm the only one who's been affected all those years?

I'm the one who ended it right?

Why?

Is it because those are all lies I've created just to cope?

And why is embracing him tightly is the first thing I have in mind as of the moment P'Kao step in front of me?

This hurts but I miss him.

I miss him so bad but I can't do that.

I miss his laughter.

I miss how proud he is for something I've done. Even in the bare minimum.

I miss him calling me Coo.

I miss the warm of his hugs.

I miss him.

I don't know if I'm tearing up because I've miss him or the way he referred our relationship as a game.

I am the one who said it first, that it was a game. Funny how I can't take my own medicine.

I clenched my fists then decided to grab my phone.

This is too much for me.

I was about to press Fluke's number.

It's his first day with P'Ohm, I can't ruin his vacation.

That's unfair for them.

I should deal with this myself.

I also told Fluke not to worry.

Why does P'Kao need to come and brought the pain back?

Is this the karma they are talking about?

I don't know.

I only know that Phi brought the pain back and I have to start over again.