When I tell you I don't wanna life anymore, it doesn't mean I am finally gonna do it.

I would lie if I said I haven't thought about how to,
what the quickst and cleanest way out is but I won't actually try my theories out.

I already planned my funeral in every little detail several times in my head. I know what flowers, what music I want to be played, that I want a bunch of rainbow flags and everyone to wear colors. I have thought about it a lot at one point.

But I won't do it.

Because I promised it to my soulmate and because there are two lovely people that I just can't let down after all that they have done for me.
Because I am still waiting for that one TV-show to come out and I still haven't finished that book I am currently writing. There are some people I need to visit and some places I want to see too.

Not a lot of reasons and some of them are quite stupid but enough for me to keep fighting.

And if you ever have a problem with finding enough of them yourself I will always be there to assist you.