Chapter 1-nowadays life
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I went to the bathroom and throw water on my face. Take my medicine, feeling really bad lately. Why I am like that? What is my age? Only 35, but still I have so many diseases. Frustrated with my life. I went the office conference room,with taking deep breath and giving my ownself strength that I am totally fine.
Since I have Noone to give me courage to fight with life.
Teenagers thought there life is most complicated but no, a women life is more complicated when you have Noone by yourside and you have to struggle for every thing. You have to struggle for earning every penny.

I push the glass door, the push distrory so much energy of mine.

I went inside and a young men said with worried voice " Oh my Mrs Black, you look so dull. What happened to you? Are you not feeling well? Please take a sit"
He take out a chair for me. I glance at him and take the sit.

In that time he went to grab a glass of water for me.
I take the glass and gulped the whole glass of water.
I said "THANK YOU MR. Diminish. But it is Miss not Mrs. And yeah, I am not feeling well."

I can see a shock in his face but that was covered in a guilty one soon . He give me a sorry face. You know, what sorry face is, don't you?
He was actually not from our company. He just came here for presenting the project . He maybe thought I am married. And I am Mrs. But not everyone got that title, not in my luck.

"The presentation will start soon. What is the process?" I asked since I got the responsibility

He take the glass from and place to its right place, he turn around and said " I make the whole presentation and check it twice. You don't need to worry. If you want you can take a leave. I can take care it. No worries."
With a genuine smile on his face.

But I can afford to lose my job. It is kind of my life, I will die in hunger if I lose the job. I feaeful thought to my mind. I look nervously here and there.

I give back a smile." I am totally fine. Just a little tried. People will start to come. Please set up your tools and best of luck. We want the project,if we get it you will surely get the job."

His beard look, and smile is so great. "Thanks Miss Black. I hope so, my wife will be very happy if I get the job"

I went back to take my sit and people start coming to see the project.
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You maybe thinking who I am!
Introduction part then.

Name :Eleana Black
Age :35
Status :Unmarried (why? Will know soon)
Job :working stuff at Diana Company
Salary :25 thousands
Working :13year now.
Family :only have brother
How do I look :my height is 5'2". Not so beautiful. A black women. Have dark circles

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Unfortunately that man I was talking did not get the job. I am late today. I call a Uber Texi.

With the shaking footsteps, I open my house door and turn on the light. Went to the Upper stairs and go to my room. Throw my sandel, God knows where and jump to the bed without changing my office wear.

Sleep engulfed me immediately. At 2 am, I open my eyes. Look around and get up from bed. Still my house is same, after my parents died my brother left for his job to cape Town and settled down there with his wife and children, do he have children,i don't know ?We are not in touch, talk less with each other and he is not worried about me being young brother, he doesn't get responsibility to look after me .

Ughhh... Smelling bad. I have shower. My tummy is also upset, have to eat something also. Take out my phone and have to check my email and schedule of my other day.

Nothing! Tomorrow is holiday. Went to social media and my heart became upset. So many girls at my age, sharing pictures of there family and shareing there holiday plans. Kissing there husband pictures written below #couplesgoals.

I went to the dark web. Want to a porn site. Feeling horny and before shower I should watch it and forget my loneliness

Wow! What a fine men! I want him in my bed. After watching the porn video, I was remembered to its moments and touching my ownself thinking, I was on her place . Yeah, I am doing it. I satisfy my own need by my own hands.

After a great feeling, I start feeling disgusting. I always promise myself I will not do it but I always do the same. And I promised that I will not touch my ownself ever. I know I will break the promise again. I am doing that at the age of 17. Because, I never had any men in my life.

I went inside the shower and came back but didn't feel like a eating. I again jump into the bed. Since noone is here to scloded me for my bad habits. My mom and dad died when I was 22.They really was my well wisher. Who were concerned about my future.

So now my life is, waking up, office, work then home,satisfying my ownself and sleep.

I have my best friend in my life. We are now on same boat but my destination is wait for dead and for her wait for someone better.
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A/N :what do you think? Please comment, I love love to read comments from you guys.