iii // Lost in Thoughts

Dinner table talk with the Reyeses was always a treat.

Yeah, not really. Something was usually always bound to get messy. Two days ago, it was Dharla's time to get scolded for not being as "perfect" as her big sister. Today it was Dolores'. There was always something negative that just had to be said every time.

One could never call it a true Reyes dinner without drama, though. Whether it be between them or if it was gossip about someone else's drama. Or discussing the drama that went on in the teleseryes.

Why had Dolores thought she could get away with it, anyway?

She'd bid her farewell to Kieran earlier that day, with his proposal still fresh in mind (and the no to it as well). Little did she know that while eating pork adobo and rice a few days later, her parents wouldn't keep the dinner table quiet.

"I talked to Nathan's father," Pa noted, practically digging through his food.

Dolores froze.

"He explained how my daughter broke up with his son in public."

Dolores looked at Dharla in panic, who shrugged in confusion. I don't know what to do. Sorry, ate. She remembered a time when Pa disliked Nathan with every fibre in his body. Today, he practically adored him.

"Why?" He put down his fork and looked at her. He wasn't mad, just curious.

Dolores had to sort her thoughts out and figure out how to tell her father that Nathan Crosley was a cheating jerk and an idiot. Thanks to Ylva, Dolores had been able to speak with this Sarah person, the girl who saw Nathan sleeping with someone who wasn't Dolores, and Sarah had admitted to seeing it.

"We weren't a match."

"But," Pa said, "he had adjusted so well to our culture and is probably the only American boy from all the ones my daughters have been with that your mother and I have not disliked."

Dolores didn't want to drop the C-word, because dropping the C-word meant admitting to Nathan's existence which, if she was being honest, she wasn't ready to do. Again, Nathan Crosley hadn't hurt her; he had hurt her ego. Maybe asking Sarah if the sex had happened was a bad idea, but she was glad she knew it so that she didn't have to go around and make any speculations.

"Come on Pa." Dolores didn't know what she was doing, but she knew she'd regret it. "I know you wanted me to marry him."

"Dolores!" Ma shrieked, as if what she had just said was taboo. Taboo to say the M word when you were still a teenager, but it wasn't a lie. Her parents did want her to marry Nathan. Too bad she had ruined the plan. The best part about it was that she wasn't feeling an ounce of guilt. And maybe that was a good thing.

"Irrelevant, Dolores. We just want what's best for you."

Dolores smiled. "The best for me is to not be with Nathan."

Pa sighed and went back to his food.

Dolores didn't know why, but finally standing up for herself to her parents felt—dare she say it—amazing.

Act, Dolores, act. Don't think.

The mantra had never been as strong as it had been until now, and the advice Kieran had given her earlier today had turned out to be a good one.

Still, she felt it was important to explain to her parents why she disliked the tall, handsome figure that went by the name of Nathan Crosley.

"He cheated."

Both Pa and Ma paused on their food and stared at her in surprise. Dharla stared worriedly at her.

They said nothing, and, for the first time in quite a while, Dolores noted that it was quiet around the dinner table. Had she known that this was the reason for why, she'd have begged Nathan to cheat on her sooner.

She cringed at the thoughts going through her head and wondered why she had such crass humor. She was just glad she never told anyone of these bad jokes.

"I'm sorry," Pa said eventually. And he meant it.

"It's okay," she said softly. "He was a jerk, anyways. And, I love you guys, but I don't want to talk about it. I appreciate what you've done for me, but I'm not ready to talk about it." She took a sharp breath and smiled.

Dolores didn't know what to do.

Kieran's offer was getting more tempting by the day, and she thought that it would be fun to try out something new. But, alas, she couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair to Ylva, nor her parents who had trusted her to make choices that didn't hurt anyone. By agreeing to Kieran's offer, she was basically incriminating herself in the worst way possible.

So she sat and thought.

Thought of what it would mean for her and what it would mean for everyone if she took a chance on something that would discredit her.

Right then and there, she decided an opinion would be nice to have, and hearing an uninvolved third party was a good idea. So she dialled and then waited for the receiver to pick up.

"Dolores?" Bridget answered, confused at why Dolores was calling.

She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to figure out what to say to her colleague. Bridget was a close friend of hers, and they had been a constant in each other's lives for the past two years since Dolores had started working at Brews & Chews. They hadn't been too fond of each other at first. Dolores thought Bridget hated her, which was why she resorted to being passive-aggressive toward her. When Bridget consoled her about it, and they had figured out that it was a misunderstanding (for the record, Bridget thought Dolores hated her too), both could do nothing else but laugh at how petty they had been. Ever since, they had been close, despite Bridget being two years older.

"Hey, Bridge, wanna come over?"

On the other end of the call, the girl made a shuffling noise and a child's crying was evident through the phone. "I'm sorry. I'm babysitting Jessica. How about you come over?"

She made some noises—the same noises Dolores would make when trying to comfort her tita's children. One could only describe them in one way: A lot. All her titas had many children, and it was a surprise to all that Ma decided to only conceive two.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there in ten."

"See you! Also, can you buy diapers on the way over for me? Jessie is pretty much empty and Mom will hurt me if her granddaughter wets the couch."

"Be there in fifteen."

"You're a saint!"

She hung up and Dolores told Pa she'd be borrowing his car to visit Bridget. Usually he'd pick an argument, mentioning all the reasons for why she shouldn't be driving, but he was lenient this time. She knew it was because of the whole NC issue (she promised herself to not think about his name because it only had bad connotations), but she wasn't complaining. If things went faster than usual this time around, then she'd gladly take it as it was.

"Be back soon."

"I have my phone, so I'll be available."

She walked out from the house with the car keys twirled around her index finger and glanced at the watch on her wrist. 5:34PM. Dolores loved that watch because her lola had given it to her. It was black with some patterns on it, so while it wasn't the most flashiest thing, it wasn't boring. Besides, she liked the fake diamonds on the watch itself. Sometimes she even liked to pretend they were real.

She hurried to the blue Opel Zafira (it was such a dad car: ugly and big and really warm in the summer), which was a seven seater. But the Reyes family were only four people, so it only took up space and the sight of it made her cringe most of the time whenever she walked out of the house. The empty seats were sometimes used by her cousins when they were visiting and Pa took them to the closest amusement park.

She drove off from the parking space and Kieran's offer came to mind once again. What had he been thinking when he had suggested it? More importantly, what had Mrs. Henning thought? The older woman had been aware of the Paris trip for a long time, and she was sure it was no coincidence that she suggested that Dolores should join him.

Was the woman trying to sabotage something?

Mrs. Henning was a nice lady, but she was afraid the older woman wasn't quite as nice as she led others to believe.

Dolores sighed through the silence of the car and then turned on the radio, where the anchorman was talking about the weather as if ninety degrees was an abnormal thing in Oakridge. Nevertheless, she listened.

She hated this Opel so much.

The AC was broken and it had been like this for the last two years. Pa always forgot to mention the AC when taking it to the mechanic.

She took the last roundabout that led to Food-4-less and sighed once she had parked. Now, Dolores knew when she was being a bit of a brat about this car.

Pa told her she had to try and relax and just let it be because, in the end, it was just a car.

Dolores had walked in quickly inside the supermarket, going to the diaper section and tried thinking of what size Bridget's niece used. How old was she? Two?

"Hey, there," she heard a voice.

For a world where coincidences didn't actually exist, she was unfortunate enough to stumble upon an unnatural amount of them. At some point, it'll just become creepy and she'd much rather lock herself up in her room for the rest of her life (she's sure Dharla would bring her food so she wouldn't starve) and turn bonkers than to see his face ever again.

"Nathan."

He put diapers in his own cart, probably for his baby sister who had just turned three.

"How are you doing?"

Dolores wasn't a petty person, of course not, but Nathan Crosley had a habit of bringing out the absolute worst in her.

"We literally talked two days ago," she deadpanned, instead of answering.

"That's true, but I'm still wondering how you're doing."

"I'm not cheating, if that's what you mean."

For someone used to acting, it was surprising to see him thrown off his guard. He widened his eyes and frowned, ready to throw words back at her, but when nothing came and he just stood there dumbfounded, Dolores smiled to herself internally.

"Thought so."

And after that, she directed a smile at him, picked the diapers she needed, and walked away with pride at beating Nathan Crosley.

She had to admit, it felt damn good.

"For real? He just said nothing?"

Dolores nodded.

"And you just walked away from there like a queen?"

Dolores shrugged.

"I'm proud of you," Bridget said, hitting her shoulder. "Who are you and what have you done with the quiet Dolores I know? First, the scolding you gave him at the café and now this?

Truth be told, Dolores had been terrified. It wasn't a big accomplishment, but feeling the smallest victory over Nathan felt great (the damn drama queen used to be on the debate team, unfortunately, which meant he had a knack for debating) and the mantra in her head was the reason for it.

Act, Dolores, act.

"She decided she wants to try something new."

Bridget smiled. "I'm glad. I think you deserve something new."

Dolores appreciated their friendship. They were close, not enough to constantly hang out with each other to tell stuff, but they were close. Besides, Bridget was a good listener and, for as long as she wouldn't mind, Dolores would continue to go to her for her worries.

She had Ylva of course, but she was afraid she wouldn't quite understand it. For sure, she gave really good advice, but this time it was about Ylva and hearing how she was still thinking of Kieran's proposal would, no doubt, hurt her.

She didn't want Ylva to think she had doubts—which seriously wasn't the case here.

"Thanks, Bridge," she sighed.

"So, what's up?" she said leaning on her bed, while simultaneously smiling at her niece who was laying on the bed, drinking her milk.

Dolores didn't know where to start.

"You know Kieran?" she started.

It seemed like Bridget had to think of who she was referring to. She closed an eye and looked up at the ceiling with the other, a habit she always did whenever she forgot a word or had to think more than she was used to.

"Mrs. Henning's golden boy? The unreachable? The oh-so perfect one?"

"Bingo," Dolores laughed at the description of him. "Turns out, he's her freaking grandson."

"The fuck?"

Dolores looked at her and nodded, eyes wide. "My reaction, exactly! Not the strangest thing, but he's seriously hot. And awfully sweet."

He was. He had a kind face, despite his strong jawline and sharp cheekbones. And, aside from a small yet noticeable scar on his jaw, his skin was flawless. Not a blemish in sight. He might as well have been the most gorgeous thing to ever bless Brews & Chews. It probably didn't help that the cheeky dimples that appeared every two seconds, in addition to his calming presence, made him all the more charming.

You just couldn't not like him. It was impossible to.

"You like him?"

She glanced at her watch and shrugged. "Yeah, he's cool."

She and Bridget fell into silence. Not an awkward one, though, just a regular silence. They knew silence was a nice way for both of them to think through things because, for once, Dolores' mind was always a mess and her friend got that. Besides, they had known each other long enough to figure out when something was up, so holding it back wasn't really worth it, since it was the reason for why she came here in the first place.

"Kieran asked me to join him on his trip to London."

Bridget looked at her with the strangest expression ever, which was usually reserved for difficult customers who made her job ten times harder. However, being on the opposite end of it, for the first time in a long time, made her anxious.

"Girl, did you just tell me what I think I just heard?"

"I know." She threw Bridget's pillow at her own face and laid down on the bed. "I'm awful for even thinking about the suggestion. Wait, just give me a sec—I have to show you something."

Bridget nodded patiently as she picked up her phone and scrolled through her phone, only to press the Facebook app. She quickly typed a name in the search bar—which, admittedly, she had stalked ten times today—tapping the profile picture. Then, without saying anything else, Dolores shoved the phone into the hand that wasn't busy bottle feeding her niece.

"Look," she loudly and exasperatedly sighed. "That's why I've been thinking about it. And you can literally see the kindness in his eyes."

What Bridget was staring at, was, indeed, Kieran Blayney, high and mighty with his dimples flashing as he took a photo with a friend, Dolores assumed was a college buddy. They seemed really carefree in it, and, as she had mentioned before, he just looked kind.

"Granny's favourite is gorgeous."

Dolores agreed with her; he was.

"So what are you gonna say to him?"

Dolores laughed. "I've already told him no, but it's just that the question came from nowhere, if you get me? Or, well, it was Mrs. Henning who did—but he didn't seem like he hated the idea."

Bridget, who was staring at her in confusion, frowned. "Wait, what? Girl, you need to slow it down and explain. I understand nothing."

So, Dolores started explaining. Of how Kieran had walked into the coffee shop—leaving out how tired he seemed and how his aunt had passed away—ordered black coffee and how she had made him pay for it and how he suggested she sit with him. Of how she had declined at first, and then telling her that they had talked a bit and it was really enjoyable. Of how Mrs. Henning had come in while they were talking and greeted her grandson, and then, of how absurd the idea that got out of her mouth was. Then came the best part: Kieran had seemed pretty chill with it!

She continued to recount what had happened later when they had talked with each other and how it had been fun because he was a sweet person.

Now, Dolores was no expert at love (her failed relationship was a pretty good example), but she knew a thing or two about attraction. And she definitely felt some type of attraction for Kieran.

When she had finished, she had watched as Bridget had let the whole thing sink in, and waited for her to give her usual good advice.

While talking, her niece had fallen quickly asleep (either from being too tired or because Dolores had put her to sleep—which was a huge likability).

"I think the best thing you can do is to talk to Ylva about this."

"I don't want her to think I'm going to ditch—because I'm definitely not going to do that."

Bridget shook her head. "No, I mean it. Talk to her. She'd appreciate that, since it's you two who are going to Paris together. I think she'd like to know what's going on, unless she finds out some way or another. You know how Mrs. Henning can be."

Dolores definitely knew. The woman was nice, but she liked to control many things, and this trip would most likely be one of those things. She had her heart in the right place, of course, but the meddling that led to things happening, were anything but help. In fact, most of the time they were more hurtful.

Bridget and Dolores considered her family, and so they had tried to explain how interfering in other people's lives—people who didn't need any interfering from—wasn't the smartest thing to do.

They were afraid the woman hadn't understood it.

Knowing Mrs. Henning, she'd most likely tell Ylva that Dolores had decided to ditch her to join her grandson. But Dolores wasn't the kind of person to do such—and Ylva knew that, too, so she wasn't worried about what the older woman would tell her.

"Yeah, you're right about that."

Bridget laughed as if Dolores had told her a joke. "I'm always right."

"Possibly," Dolores mused. "Anyway, I don't even know why I'm making it a huge deal. It's not."

Dolores stared at Bridget, making Dolores wonder if she had said something stupid. "Maybe because deep down inside you want to? I'm no expert, but I know you, and I know that you only dwell on stuff like this because you actually want to go for them."

Dolores groaned. Bridget was correct and maybe Dolores had wanted her to be wrong, but there was no denying it. Maybe she only considered it because she didn't want to be in Ylva's shadow. Maybe it was because she was jealous of Ylva. Maybe it was because she actually thought Kieran Blayney was a one of a kind and chances like the one he was giving her only happened once in a lifetime. Or maybe she was just thinking too much into it because she was doubting everything.

Which, admittedly, didn't make sense. So, instead of thinking about something that would most likely make her go insane, she decided to just talk to Ylva before she got any other stupid ideas in her head.

It's actually my birthday today, hence why I wanted to give y'all something nice! I'm on a break, to those of you who haven't read my rant book and that's why all of my books are on hold, but just thought this would be nice! :-)

If you were in Dolores' position, would you tell the friend you are going to travel with about a proposal like this even if you weren't going to go? Why, why not?