Returning back to my house, I immediately notice River's car parked in the driveway, but unaccompanied, proving that she's somewhere inside with Lola. I stroll through the front door and follow the muffled sounds of loud music up the stairs until I reach my bedroom door. It's pink — not that I had a say in what colour it would be painted. Lola decided, because Lola's always been the one in charge, even though she's only eight minutes older than me. Sometimes she treats me like a little kid who's lost its way and needs constant guidance. I often have to remind her that we're both eighteen, not that it makes a difference in her mind.

As soon as I open the door, I'm hit with strong wafts of at least four different perfumes and body sprays. The smell is so strong that it makes my nose sting and causes my throat to close up.

"Back already?" Lola asks with a grin. She takes the makeup brush away from River's face, giving her a break for at least a few seconds. "Did you guys have fun?"

"We ran in a field," I tell her plainly.

Her grin flops to a disappointment frown. I almost smile at the sight. Instead, I return to my bed and drop to the soft covers that I hide my face in as a way to escape from the world.

"Is that it?" she spits.

I lift my head and smile as a way to annoy her further; revenge for her trying to push Brains and I together.

"Yes," I reply.

River turns in the seat, revealing her half painted face. Her eyes are squinted and doesn't seem to be enjoying herself in the slightest. "How is Brains?" she asks.

"Fine. Why?"

"I was just wondering. Is he coming to the party tonight?"

"Apparently."

The sides of her mouth lift into what I can only explain to be an excited smile. "With you?"

My shoulders slump. Not another person eager to see Brains and I together. That will never happen. Friends is all we'll ever be—possibly even good friends eventually.

"No. Not with me. With all of us."

River nods her head and doesn't push on the subject anymore. She must notice that I get annoyed about the subject, plus I assume she got her sources from Lola, who likes to stir the pot and add her own little details into gossip. For that reason, I don't hold it against River.

"How's you and Will?" I ask once I realise I'm not making much of an effort. River isn't much of a talker, so I should make the most of her trying and asking questions that she doesn't need to.

"We're good. Really good." Her cheeks grow rosy with a blush as she talks about her relationship. Will and River are different in so many ways, but are also so similar. In my opinion, that makes them perfect for each other. "Actually, we're looking for houses."

"You're getting a house together?"

"Not right now, but we're looking for when we finish sixth form. Hopefully by next year we'll be buying one."

Lola can hardly contain herself. She squeals and claps her hands at the news that I'm sure her and River have discussed dozens of times before. River and Lola always call, always text, always go on double dates with their other halves. Me and River are close, but we're able to go a while without speaking, mostly because we both dislike using our voices. When we do see each other, however, it's as though no time has passed.

"I can't wait. Ryan and I will be over all the time, of course. We can have double dates, movie nights, sleepovers! I don't know when me and Ryan are getting a house, but it'll be soon. Within the next few years."

And without even realising, my heart drops to my stomach. Some weird sense of pain spreads across my chest and closes my air pipes. It's only just occurred to me that this won't be forever. Lola and I, who have always done everything together, will one day not live in the same house. We won't share the same room, steal each others stuff, gossip late at night when we should be sleeping. Lola's moving on with her life, she's got a boyfriend, she's planning the future. I've been stuck on the same path, believing that things would never change. That I'd always have my sister.

"You're moving out?" I ask hoarsely.

"Yep, no more having to put up with your snoring. Me and Ryan have planned everything."

"Like what?" River asks.

"Well, we're getting a house together in the next five years. He's proposing one day, but we won't get married until we're in our twenties and have more money, because we want to have a massive wedding. You're both going to be my bridesmaids. As for babies, we want to wait until we're in our late twenties or early thirties."

"Wow," I say, forcing a smile upon my face. It hurts to know that she'll be moving on and living her own life, that we'll no longer be together every second of everyday and relying on the other for everything, but I don't want her to feel guilty about living her life, so I refuse to show any negative sort of reaction. That wouldn't be fair on her. "I'm really happy for you and Ryan."

"It was planned quite early, but we've loved each other for years. We plan to live the rest of our lives with each other, so why wait?"

I swallow the lump in my throat and stroke my thumb over the yellow teddy bear that I've had since I was born. It's not so yellow anymore, it's got darker and it's stuffing has weakened, but I still love it more than the day my parents gave it to me. Lola has an identical one. The only difference is, mine has a blue bow around his neck, whereas Lola's has a pink one. That's how my parents used to always figure out who was who. They would put a blue hairband with a bow on my head, and a pink hairband with a bow on Lola's head. We kept switching teddies and fighting over who's was who's, so they came up with the idea to add the bows, as a way of always knowing who's teddy belonged to who.

Lola must've sensed my mood, because she suddenly says, "You'll always be over for sleepovers, Isla. And soon, you'll be an auntie."

This pulls a genuine smile to my cheeks, because for as long as I can remember, Lola has wanted to be a mother. And I have always wanted to be an auntie.

"And you. You'll be auntie River," Lola says while giving River's shoulder a squeeze. "Are you and Will going to have kids?"

"One day. We want to make the most of it being just us first. But we really do want kids in a few years. Plus, we want to make sure we have the finances and a house before we do anything."

"Good thinking," I tell her.

It takes Lola thirty minutes to convince me to get ready. Eventually, I give in and fish through my draws to find some clothing. I pull out a white tank top, black cargo trousers and a black hoodie. Lola attempts to add some lipgloss to my lips, but gives up when I refuse to be still in her chair. I do, however, allow her to clip diamond earrings into each of my ears. River drives us all there, stopping on the way so Lola can pick up an alcoholic beverage to take with her. We aren't allowed to keep alcohol at the house — a rule of mums. Lola was pissed when we were told, but she never said anything in front of me. She didn't want me to feel any more guilty than I already did.

Darren's party takes place at his lake house near the outskirts of the woods. Dozens of cars line up outside along with screaming guests who drink from bottles and dance around to the music that blasts through the speakers set up outside. It's pitch black dark, with only the light from his house illuminating the area. I can see clearly through the windows, where too many people hover around inside. The sight makes me shiver. We park by the lake, which is only ten feet away from Darren's house. There's a small wooden pier which is left deserted by the attendees, so I decide to sit there for the start of the night and run my hand through the freezing water that sparkles beneath the glowing moon.

"I was looking everywhere for you. Finally found Lola who told me where you were," Brains says from behind me. I don't bother to turn around and face him, I already know that he'll join me.

And he does. He sits beside me, crossed legged, and sighs. "How come you're out here by yourself?"

"Too crowded in there. I like the quiet."

"I can't stand quietness. I always have to fill in the blanks, otherwise I get all itchy."

"I can tell," I mumble.

"Really?" He seems happy about this, for some reason. Probably because it means I've noticed something about him, which he didn't think was even possible. "How?"

I lay down on my back, bending my knees and keeping my feet flat on the dock. "You never stop talking."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

I shrug my shoulders and close my eyes. "Both."

"Better than just bad, I suppose," he hums. "I got this for you."

My eyes open as I look to what he holds out. A red cup. I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head. "I don't drink."

"What, not even milk?"

"What?"

"It's milk. I know it's your favourite."

Sitting back up, I take the cup and gaze down into the white substance. "Oh, thank you. How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That it's my favourite."

"You're always drinking it. Obviously you wouldn't drink something you don't like, and with how much of it you drink, I just assumed it must be your go-to drink."

"You were right," I confirm before I take a small sip and allow the coldness to hydrate my tongue and soothe my throat.

"Can I just add, that's gross."

I see him pointing to my drink.

"I'm offended," I joke.

"Sorry, but drinking a glass of milk is horrid."

"It's like the best thing. What are you talking about?"

"I can have it on cereal, but I cannot ever drink an entire glass of the stuff." His nose scrunches at the sheer thought.

"Have you ever tried to?"

Brains wrinkles his nose in disgust. "No, because I know I'll hate it."

"Try it," I demand and hold out my cup, waiting for him to grab it.

Brains looks unsure, glancing between my face and the cup as he tries to grow confidence and take a sip of the drink he seems to despise so much. Something moves in his throat as he reaches out and shakes it slightly, watching the milk move in the cup. It looks like he's counting down before he tilts the cup to his lips and takes two tiny sips. I take back the cup, waiting for his reaction, which is priceless to say the least.

He scrunches his eyebrows and sticks out his tongue, like he can't bare to have the taste in his mouth any longer. His throat makes this raspy noise that sends me into a laughing fit.

"Told you," he tells me in a hoarse voice. "Horrible stuff."

"What's your favourite drink?" I ask once I manage to contain my laughter.

"Hot chocolate."

I'm the one to grimace my face this time. "Too chocolaty."

"Exactly."

We sit in still silence for a couple of minutes before he kicks off his shoes and peels off his white socks, allowing his toes to dip in the dark water that ripples below us.

"You're crazy," I say as I shake my head in disbelief. "It's freezing and it's dark."

"I have no fears," he announces with such confidence in his voice and expression.

"Bet you do."

"Nope."

"I'll figure out your fear soon."

The wood creaks from behind us on the decking, causing us to both snap our heads around to examine what caused the noise.

"Hey, love birds," Beck cooes as he takes a seat behind us.

Whereas Brains seems thrilled by the new nickname, I roll my eyes and try my hardest not to huff.

Why does everyone want us to fall deeply in love? It's not like I've ever done anything to make people believe I have feelings for him. Brains, on the other hand...

"You're so annoying," I mumble.

"Me? How?" Beck asks, sounding offended.

I glare at him over my shoulder. "We're friends."

A grin begins to form on his cheeks. "Not according to Brains."

I switch my glare to Brains instead. He widens his eyes at Beck, warning him without words, before he looks back at me and laughs nervously.

"You've told people we're together?" I snap. It sounds like less of a question than I intend it to be.

"No-"

"Because that's pretty messed up if you have." I stand up on two feet and look down at where he sits, astonished and taken back. "You better not have been spreading lies about me."

"Isla, I swear-"

"I'm serious, Brains. I'm not playing around. Don't start rumours and don't tell lies. I hate liars. Do you understand?"

Brains quickly jumps to his feet. "I didn't lie. I never told anyone we're in a relationship."

"Then why did Beck just say that?"

Beck is still sat on the floor, grinning from amusement as he watches the argument take place.

"Because he's a wind up."

"Bullshit. Tell me the truth. What have you said-"

"I told him I like you. Okay? That's it, I promise."

All sorts of emotions come over me all at once. My anger and annoyance demolishes in a matter of seconds, but my guilt and confusion skyrocket.

"It's true," Beck states from below. "He's always talkin' about you."

"Thanks, Beck. Loving the support," Brains says sarcastically, pulling a smile that reaches to his ears while he clasps his hands together.

I knew Brains had feelings for me, that much was obvious, but I didn't ever expect it to go this far; for him to tell our friends about those feelings, for him to talk about me all the time. I thought it was just a silly crush that would only last a few weeks, but this has dragged on for months. In all honesty, I thought he was playing up to most of it, just to have a laugh because he knew how much it annoyed me.

Now I feel like crap for treating him so badly.

"You should word what you say a little better," I warn Beck. "Made it sound completely different."

"You know me, Issa-Bear. I'm all about the drama."

I sigh before taking off down the dock to find Lola. She'll be somewhere with Ryan, most likely making out or clinging to him like he's her supply of oxygen. In this moment, I don't care. I need to talk to her.