Where are you?

My mom's voice cut through the phone

soon after hanging up with my coach.

I come home from work to see a note on the counter

saying you're gone

and your drawers are practically empty.

What the hell, Sarah?

Have you lost your damn mind?

Her fury was evident

as she seethed from my absence.

I'm fine, mom--

Sarah, if you don't come home now,

juro por Dios.

She cut me off.

I sighed.

I can't--

Come home now!

She interrupted

and finally releasing my frustration,

I yelled.

No, mom!

I'm not coming home!

My voice rang through the room

as my mom was stunned into silence.

I don't want to be there with you and dad

if you won't even acknowledge who I am!

Allowing my words to settle in,

I lowered my voice.

I know you all need some time to process this, but--

I don't want to be home

if all you're going to do

is hate me.

It was silent on the other end

as my mom began to absorb the weight of my words.

She was sniffling now,

and it broke my heart to hear her hurting,

but damn,

I was hurting too.

I'm still me, mom.

My voice cracked.

I haven't changed.

I listened to the sounds of her weeping over the phone

for a few moments

before ending the call.

~Sarah