I'm feeling pretty down about everything.

Silence danced around me

as my true emotions started settling in.

Sighing,

I continued.

I feel alone.

I feel hated

and unwanted

and it hurts.

I blinked back tears.

And why do you feel like that?

Lucas asked

and I gave him a watery smile.

Because I'm gay.

Luke didn't say anything.

I mean,

it's not anything significant, I don't think.

Gay.

It's just a word,

a way of being, I guess.

I sucked in a breath of air.

But when everyone around you is so against this word...

I buried my face in my hands

not wanting the camera to catch my vulnerability.

The wheels in my head were turning

hundreds of miles an hour.

My mind was ripping itself apart

as my body crumbled into itself.

Lifting up my head,

I rubbed the tears from my eyes.

I hate it.

My voice was so quiet,

it felt deadly.

I hate being this way

I hate feeling this way.

And I hate how I hate myself for this.

I looked into the lens with puffy eyes.

Why can't the world just accept who I am?

~Sarah