I laid on my bed,

music blasting through my ears

as my arms wrapped around my pillow.

Words stabbed at my chest

and pain grew in my arms

from my tight holds of the thin cushion.

Why couldn't I get him out of my head?

This was insane!

I didn't even know Daniel.

But that's just it.

Because it was my fault

for not knowing him:

my fault for not doing something,

my fault for not saying something

or helping him

or telling him that it was going to be okay,

and to just block out their cruelty,

because it doesn't end here.

My lungs and heart squeezed in my chest

and a sickening pain filled my throat and jaw.

I could've saved him.

I could've told him that he wasn't alone.

But now he's gone.

And I'm alone,

just like he was,

and there was no one to pull me out of this darkness.

~Sarah

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