(warnings: gaslighting)
[season 2, episode 3: save the last one]

SHE COULDN'T breathe. Marnie couldn't breathe as she approached the steps of the Greene house, feeling disoriented, like she was floating.

Every step she took felt like there was nothing beneath her, like she could fall at any moment. She kept her eyes trained on the house, at what was ahead of her, because if she did look at the ground, she would be reminded of what happened; and then who knows what.

Her walk was rather stiff, just like the man next to her, though his was from his wound. Marnie simply couldn't force herself to walk straight.

"Carl?" He rasped out. Marnie believed the man's name was Shane, but at the moment, it didn't really seem to matter.

Hershel took the bag that held the respirator from Marnie's hands and he wasn't all too gentle about it either. He was mad at what Marnie had done. The thought made her sick to her stomach.

"There's still a chance," Rick said.

Then this wasn't all for nothing.

"Otis?" Hershel questioned, looking to Shane.

Shane glanced at Marnie for a split second, then to the sky. "No." Was all he said.

"We say nothing to Patricia," Hershel ordered. "Not 'till after. I need her."

Hershel marched inside. As Rick wrapped Shane in a hug, Marnie looked to see two new arrivals. A woman with long brown hair, who Marnie thought could be Carl's mother, and a younger Asian boy with a baseball cap who looked about Maggie's age.

Marnie had apparently been staring too much at the Asian boy, because he gave an awkward smile and wave that gave the same impression as the smile. She didn't wave back, and just looked away.

"They kept blocking us at every turn," Shane pulled away from Rick. "We had nothing left. We were down to ten rounds."

'Down to my last,' Otis said to Shane.

'Me too,'

"Then he said- he said he'd cover me,"

'I'm sorry,' Shane said, turning to Otis and swiftly shooting him in the foot, and dragging the now useless man to the monsters that followed them, all while Otis screamed.

Marnie had her own screams too, hiding by the truck, covering her mouth with a hand as she blinked back tears of shock and horror.

"And that I should keep going. So that's what I did. I just...,"

The teenage girl was only noticed after a brutal fight with Otis when Shane limped back to the truck. Otis was left screaming as he was torn apart by the monsters for their next meal.

"I kept going. But I- I looked back and he-" Shane apparently couldn't force the rest of the fake story out. Everyone ate it right up.

Marnie couldn't force herself to announce to everyone what Shane had done, what she had seen. Instead, a silent tear rolled down her cheek, only adding to Shane's story.

"I tried," Shane said. "And- and the kid- she didn't need to see-" He trailed off.

His words made Marnie's stomach twist, partly because they were true. She didn't need to see Otis being ripped to shreds and eaten alive by the monsters.

"He wanted to make it right," Rick said, placing a hand on Shane's shoulder.

Maggie was crying, and the new woman was comforting her. "Come here, honey," Maggie said through her tears, holding an arm out for Marnie.

Marnie made her way over to Maggie, who pulled her into a hug. As Marnie felt more tears streaming down her face, she was just glad to be held.

Marnie's footsteps creaked as she walked through the hallway, letting her hand run against the wall as she did, hoping the bumps in the plaster would make her feel something other than that awful sinking, nauseated feeling in her stomach.

All night, Marnie had been tossing and turning, and when she had finally fallen asleep, her dreams were plagued with the screams of Otis and even flashbacks to The Camping Trip. To make it worse, she slept in Beth's room, seeing as Carl occupied her normal room.

Sure that Beth was tired of Marnie's constant unrest, she decided to take a walk around the house. Maybe she'd manage to calm down.

Marnie halted in her tracks when the door to the bathroom opened with a creak that reminded Marnie of the noise her Granny's rocking chair would make.

She wished her grandmother were here right now. That's probably who she'd talk to about what had happened with Otis and Shane. She knew her granny's response would be some kind of story that managed to both parallel the situation and have a piece of deep advice that would help Marnie with what to do next. But she wasn't here and that wasn't going to happen.

From the bathroom, Shane emerged, wearing clothes that didn't seem to fit him quite right. They belonged to Otis. Marnie realised. Another thing about him: his hair had been shaved.

"Your hair is gone," Marnie noted, her voice empty.

Shane ran a hand over his head as if he hadn't noticed it himself. "Uh, yeah."

"Needed a change?" Marnie shot at him. It felt good to say something with such malice. "You know, after you killed Otis?"

Shane stared at her. "Killed? I... I didn't...," he spluttered.

Mariner crossed her arms. "Don't play stupid. I saw it."

"I didn't kill Otis." Shane sneered suddenly.

"Yes, you did! I wa-"

"What? You watched? You saw me do that?" Shane's voice was filled with concern as he leaned down a bit to match Marnie's height. Marnie took a step back, confused. "Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry?" Marnie asked, her eyebrows scrunching together.

"I didn't kill Otis," he repeats. This time, his voice was bewildered, and sounding increasingly more worried.

Marnie couldn't bring herself to reply; only able to look at Shane with an open mouthed gape of confusion and disgust. Was he really, seriously pretending he hadn't done anything?

"You know, I used to be a police officer. Sometimes, I'd see a situation like this," Shane explained. Marnie simply stared at him, absolutely confused on what was happening. Had he really not killed Otis? He sure wasn't acting like someone who just killed a man. "The witness can be... so traumatised they make something up in their head. Something they thought happened. Something they find easier to think about than what actually happened."

"No...," Marnie shook her head violently. "I know- I know what I saw." Her words were no longer full of venom, now only trying to convince herself.

As much as she would like to say he was wrong, his story made sense. It wasn't some odd lie, it was the truth. The only evidence that Marnie even saw that was her own memory, and Shane's words were making her question even that.

"I..." Marnie failed to find the words she was looking for. Tears pricked at her eyes, blurring her vision. She was never one to hide her emotions, but right now she definitely wanted to.

"It's okay," Shane said, placing a hand on Marnie's back. It wasn't okay, though. Marnie's brain had tricked her into thinking Shane was a horrible murderer. Could she even trust herself— her memory— anymore? "C'mon."

Shane led her back to Beth's room, Marnie unable to stop the tears even when he left. She plopped down onto the extra mattress that had been laid out for her, and tried to brush away her tears, but more kept coming.

"Mar?" Beth's tired voice sounded from her own bed. Marnie turned to see the blonde sitting up in her bed, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Yeah?" Marnie tried to stable her voice, she wanted Beth to think she was strong, someone Beth could depend on. Someone who wasn't weak.

All of these goals failed as Marnie's words trembled with her chin, more tears threatening to spill out.

"Do you want to come up here? Sleep in my bed? I think it'll help with the nightmares," her voice was soft and quiet. It was sweet, too, but not in a patronising way. No, it was exactly what Marnie needed.

Marnie nodded, even though she knew Beth couldn't see through the darkness. She climbed from the mattress on the ground to Beth's bed and snuggled into the sheets next to the blonde, who turned to Marnie and wrapped an arm around her.

Marnie shut her eyes, praying for no more nightmares, as she rested her head against Beth's chest.

   Marnie tried to control her anxiety as she padded down the hallway to the kitchen, where Hershel apparently needed to talk to her.

She had only just woken up, and desperately wished she still had her silk bonnet as she tried to fix her hair. The braids she had previously worn her hair in were now the complete opposite of neat and beautiful as they had been before.

If this whole apocalyptic situation ever ended, Marnie wondered if her hair would ever be the same again.

"Hello, sir," Marnie greeted Hershel. "Beth said you wanted to talk to me?"

She tried her best to sound polite and hopeful, scared he would kick her out for one reason or another. Maybe he knew about Marnie's memory and he didn't like that she accused Shane of killing Otis.

Hershel nodded, looking up from the book he was reading. Marnie was almost disappointed to see it was the Bible, previously hoping it was some new piece of literature he'd found on a run or somewhere else. "Marnie: what you saw last night was awful. And do not take this as me dismissing your trauma, belittling it, or blaming you, but," Marnie took an apprehensive breath. "You need to listen to my instruction when I give it. I specifically told you not to go with Shane and Otis for your own safety. But still, you disregarded my instruction and went anyways."

"Sir, I-" Marnie began to plead, but Hershel cut her off.

"I don't tell you these things to be cruel," he said, his voice stronger. "Don't forget that it could have been you who..." he trailed off, closing his eyes and taking a breath. "I only want you to be out of harm's way— as much as possible in this world. You're lucky you made it out of there."

"Okay," Marnie replied simply, attempting to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry," she said weakly.

'It could have been you,' Were the words that echoed through Marnie's mind as she soundlessly walked out of the kitchen, not bothering to stop her breath from quickening as her mind flashed back to the previous night, with Shane in the hallway, with Otis at the school. Her mind then jumped to The Camping Trip.

Blood. Blood everywhere. Blood covering Marnie. Two survivors, two dead.

One dead, two alive. It was just Shane and Marnie who were there at the school after Otis had been torn apart. Only those two who knew the truth. And only Marnie had a defective memory.

SYDNEY SPEAKS!
let's ignore the fact that canon shane is too hotheaded to actually gaslight someone

also me thinks these chapters have been rather boring so far but like i hope you guys can tolerate it

anyways please comment please support!! and  of course, as always, TYSMMMMMM